Faith's Progress

[Jayne01]

I figured I'd pop in here while my mood is a bit better to make a, if not final close to it, post on a high note.

a good friend that I've known for years, whom I was not out to, recently asked about possibly playing music. We chatted via text and I am meeting where they play next Thursday. I'll go each Thursday if things go OK. They currently don't need me but one person may stop playing soon (which is why I was approached).

I had not outed myself to him before, unsure how he'd take it and not wanting to 'ruin' things if all we did was text. You can't see the changes in a text. I replied to him that I had to send him an email prior to to showing up. I sent him the 'for friends coming out email'

The response was probably one of the best that I've received and all positive. It's good to know that some people like you for yourself.

So, that's it. 

Faith, that is great news! Not surprising, though. You said this person was a good friend, and clearly they are. Why wouldn't a good friend be positive and supportive?

I know nothing about music, I hope you get to play regularly. It's good to have an interest that is seperate from anything trans related. Your mind could do with a break once in a while

I am glad your mood is a little better.

Jayne

[Faith]

since I'm here ....

- Lori confessed to calling me "My girl" (her girl, obviously) at times ... well waddahyahknow
- Gal at work, hispanic (only matters due to choice of verbiage), raves about my hair, it seems that I am "the coolest person" and beautiful. hmm, Needs glasses I suspect.
- BOOBS yep, they need a mention. Had a growth spurt last week, they're visible from the front now. I told Lori about it and pulled my shirt up .. she's like "Yep, they sprouted"
- What else, Oh yeah. The music buddy called to see if I was still coming Thursday (tonight). I said, probably, pretty sure. He said, "We need a bass player, ours won't be there". OK, so I'll be there amongst a bunch of people that I know who have not seen me since transition start / coming out. Should be interesting.
- Hair, receding lines definitely filling in. How much? time will tell.
- Vacation next two weeks, heading to my brother's in Virginia. Crappy cell service and crappy internet. I'll be roughing it.
- Lori says my waist is more defined and ..... my butt is getting fat. *gasp* time to add squats to the routine.

I'm sure more little things happened worth mentioning, I'm old and CRS.

[Susan Baum]

since I'm here ....

- Lori confessed to calling me "My girl" (her girl, obviously) at times ... well waddahyahknow
- Gal at work, hispanic (only matters due to choice of verbiage), raves about my hair, it seems that I am "the coolest person" and beautiful. hmm, Needs glasses I suspect.
- BOOBS yep, they need a mention. Had a growth spurt last week, they're visible from the front now. I told Lori about it and pulled my shirt up .. she's like "Yep, they sprouted"
- What else, Oh yeah. The music buddy called to see if I was still coming Thursday (tonight). I said, probably, pretty sure. He said, "We need a bass player, ours won't be there". OK, so I'll be there amongst a bunch of people that I know who have not seen me since transition start / coming out. Should be interesting.
- Hair, receding lines definitely filling in. How much? time will tell.
- Vacation next two weeks, heading to my brother's in Virginia. Crappy cell service and crappy internet. I'll be roughing it.
- Lori says my waist is more defined and ..... my butt is getting fat. *gasp* time to add squats to the routine.

I'm sure more little things happened worth mentioning, I'm old and CRS.

Well waddahyahknow, we still have Faith.

You're not just Lori's girl you know; I, for one, am happy you stuck around and plied us with good news.
Have fun playing and while on vacation. Please let us know how the gig went when you have time.

Hugs aplenty,
Susan

[Faith]

quick update

- gig went well. I was a bit rusty but the audience couldn't tell. A couple songs I had heard and never played, did the best I could by ear. No untoward comments and a 'wow, you look great. I love your hair'. No one specifically avoided me that I could tell.
- I finally got some feedback regarding my nieces. I was talking to my daughter and she mentioned asking them if they knew. They were like, "Yes, Uncle **" forwarded us the email, we think it's awesome" ..
- relaxing and packing and packing and relaxing for the drive. I plan on leaving around midnight.

I did not get my spiro prescription. I got a letter, late, stating that the 'lab rejected your specimen due to: 'extreme hemolysis of specimen'. I need new labs. I got the letter this morning, labs and PP are closed, it's a holiday weekend. I'll be in Virginia when they open. All I can do is hope I can get new labs done while on vacation so they can have the results by the time I'm back home.

the real sticky point? I had called them earlier in the week regarding waiting on the labs and that I was going on vacation so needed a refill of estradiol for the trip. No mention of the labs needed redone, if they had I could have done them already. Now it's too late.

[Jayne01]

Hi Faith,
I'm just catching up after being offline for a few days. Good to see you posting again.

Thanks for updating us on your progress. Lori's girl, boobs, waist, hair, cool, beautiful, nieces think it's awesome.... Wow! What an update. So much is happening. Oh and playing music gigs too.

Sorry you keep having setbacks with getting your spiro prescription. Hopefully you will get it soon.

Enjoy your vacation. I hope you will be ok roughing it with the crappy phone reception and internet. [emoji12]

Take care

Hugs,
Jayne

[Faith]

Hey y'all, a quick update to let you know I'm alive. I find that I cannot peruse the forums as I used to. I skimmed a few and had to stop. I am not purposely ignoring anyone I just can't bring myself to read things, good or bad.

Vacation is over. I had a couple meltdowns that pretty much ruined it. No one knew what to do or say after they happened so I was on my own. Proof was at the end, the 'troop' was heading out ahead of us, hugs and goodbyes all around ... I was not included, I should have stayed in bed.

in the interest of sharing and showing that I was really on vacation, here's some pictures. At least they show that I was trying to be myself despite my manly appearance. These are the least 'manly' that I could find.

my typical "get it out of my face" hair non-style



my typical "pondering" pose



Proof that I wore my new swimsuit ... except the top, that's in photos that I won't share (too ugly)



One landscape view, too many to post so I just picked one



that's it, back to hiding before I fall apart again. Take care everyone (Steph and Jayne, glad to 'see' that someone has things going positive, keep it up!)

[IamJoannaAndJohn]

Hey y'all, a quick update to let you know I'm alive. I find that I cannot peruse the forums as I used to. I skimmed a few and had to stop. I am not purposely ignoring anyone I just can't bring myself to read things, good or bad.

Vacation is over. I had a couple meltdowns that pretty much ruined it. No one knew what to do or say after they happened so I was on my own. Proof was at the end, the 'troop' was heading out ahead of us, hugs and goodbyes all around ... I was not included, I should have stayed in bed.

in the interest of sharing and showing that I was really on vacation, here's some pictures. At least they show that I was trying to be myself despite my manly appearance. These are the least 'manly' that I could find.

my typical "get it out of my face" hair non-style



my typical "pondering" pose



Proof that I wore my new swimsuit ... except the top, that's in photos that I won't share (too ugly)



One landscape view, too many to post so I just picked one



that's it, back to hiding before I fall apart again. Take care everyone (Steph and Jayne, glad to 'see' that someone has things going positive, keep it up!)

hi hi first time stumbling upon progress threads and i must say you look awesomely cool and all knowing (wise)

[Jayne01]

Hey y'all, a quick update to let you know I'm alive. I find that I cannot peruse the forums as I used to. I skimmed a few and had to stop. I am not purposely ignoring anyone I just can't bring myself to read things, good or bad.

Vacation is over. I had a couple meltdowns that pretty much ruined it. No one knew what to do or say after they happened so I was on my own. Proof was at the end, the 'troop' was heading out ahead of us, hugs and goodbyes all around ... I was not included, I should have stayed in bed.

in the interest of sharing and showing that I was really on vacation, here's some pictures. At least they show that I was trying to be myself despite my manly appearance. These are the least 'manly' that I could find.

my typical "get it out of my face" hair non-style



my typical "pondering" pose



Proof that I wore my new swimsuit ... except the top, that's in photos that I won't share (too ugly)



One landscape view, too many to post so I just picked one



that's it, back to hiding before I fall apart again. Take care everyone (Steph and Jayne, glad to 'see' that someone has things going positive, keep it up!)

Hey Faith,

Thanks for your update. It's really good to see you posting once in a while.

Sorry you had a couple of meltdowns during your holiday. Meltdowns really suck. Good news is that they do happen less frequently as you progress and eventually become nothing more than a girly cry just to clean out your eyes. [emoji4]

I think you are being hard on yourself referring to your "manly" appearance. You actually pass rather well as a woman, and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better.

Take care...

Hugs,

Jayne

[Laurie]

  Hi Faith (and you too Lori)

  Thank you for your few posts and pictures. We do like to hear from you but won't push it. In case you have not heard I am officially legally Laurie Jeanette Wickwire. I am awaiting my new driver's license and corrected birth certificate.
  I liked reading that you were asked to do the gig and I am sure your bass playing was up to expectations. It is good for you to get out and about once in awhile.
  Tell Lori I said hello and give her a hug for me please.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Faith]

  Hi Faith (and you too Lori)

  Thank you for your few posts and pictures. We do like to hear from you but won't push it. In case you have not heard I am officially legally Laurie Jeanette Wickwire. I am awaiting my new driver's license and corrected birth certificate.
  I liked reading that you were asked to do the gig and I am sure your bass playing was up to expectations. It is good for you to get out and about once in awhile.
  Tell Lori I said hello and give her a hug for me please.

Hugs,
  Laurie

LAURIE!!  I had intended to mention your achievement ... and I forgot in all my mess of thoughts. Congrats on finally getting your label all official. Is it tattoo'd anywhere? Just wondering.

The gig went well enough for the one night, then vacation. I just got a call asking for a return tomorrow, I guess I wasn't too bad.

Jayne, I appreciate the nice positive comments, I see a guy ... skinny, but still a guy. I'm horribly inflated. I put on 3 lbs while vacationing, time for a severe diet .. HAH, just kidding.

I am having a real problem embracing myself. All my struggles are internalized. I really don't have any external issues to deal with. In fact, Lori has said several times, "It's time to embrace the inner woman and move forward" (paraphrased but close). .. If only it were that easy.

[Laurie]

Listen to Lori!! She knows what you need. So either you listen to her or it is back on the fridge with you.

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

[Jayne01]

I am having a real problem embracing myself. All my struggles are internalized. I really don't have any external issues to deal with. In fact, Lori has said several times, "It's time to embrace the inner woman and move forward" (paraphrased but close). .. If only it were that easy.

Faith, it is definitely not easy. There isn't much anyone can say to get you past this internalised struggle. It is between you and you! Your old male self and the new woman emerging. At some point, the old you will have to let go so that Faith can live freely. It is a struggle we all go through at some stage. Think of the positives, Lori is already fully accepting of you. You already dress the way you want. It's time to let go of "him". "He" has served a purpose and can now hand over control to Faith.

Be kind to yourself while you work your way through these internalised struggles. It will take time.

Hugs,
Jayne

[Faith]

Last night was a good night, mood lifted HIGH and I felt good. We'll see how long it goes.

[Laurie]

Last night was a good night, mood lifted HIGH and I felt good. We'll see how long it goes.

  You either listen to Lori or clean off the top of the fridge.....

Glad you had a good high night.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Jayne01]

Last night was a good night, mood lifted HIGH and I felt good. We'll see how long it goes.

Glad to hear you are in a high mood and feeling good. Enjoy it for however long it lasts. The highs do become more frequent and longer lasting.

Hugs,
Jayne

[steph2.0]

Last night was a good night, mood lifted HIGH and I felt good. We'll see how long it goes.

I hope it goes for a long time, Faith. Ride that wave and follow Lori's sage advice. It's time to move to the next step, whatever you deem it to be.

All the best to you and Lori. You deserve it.

Stephanie

[Faith]

sometimes it's the simple comments that do the most good.

Another jam yesterday ... good night, bad music

anyway, one of the guys came up and simply gave me a hug (he was always a hugger) and said (paraphrased), "I know what you're going through and I want you to know that you'll always be my friend, that'll never change". It made me think of all the people in my life, accepting or not.

Acquaintances, quite a few and some can't handle it. that's Ok, they're just acquaintances. Others quite familiar, due to knowing others (or someone in their family) going throw it, and supportive.

Friends, most friends are accepting. only the afore mentioned religious 'friends' had a problem with it thus far.

Family, hmm, I cannot think of anyone related that, so far, has had a problem with it .. at least, not to my face.

yes, I'm doing better.

[Jayne01]

Hey Faith, happy to hear you had a good jam night and are feeling better.

Hugs,
Jayne

[Faith]

yeah, I'm turning myself around. Trying to concentrate on the positives instead of the negatives. Once I clear that internal struggle it should be smooth sailing .. comparatively while I patch the holes in the sailcloth while bailing due to the holes caused by the rough ground that I hit. Nothing to it

[steph2.0]

yeah, I'm turning myself around. Trying to concentrate on the positives instead of the negatives. Once I clear that internal struggle it should be smooth sailing .. comparatively while I patch the holes in the sailcloth while bailing due to the holes caused by the rough ground that I hit. Nothing to it

Go, Faith! I love to hear you talking like this!

I'm trying to get back to that place myself. Setbacks have almost sunk my boat lately so I'm paddling hard for shore. I'll be ok in the long run. I float pretty well.


Stephanie