Susan's Place Logo

News:

Based on internal web log processing I show 3,417,511 Users made 5,324,115 Visits Accounting for 199,729,420 pageviews and 8.954.49 TB of data transfer for 2017, all on a little over $2,000 per month.

Help support this website by Donating or Subscribing! (Updated)

Main Menu

Faith's Progress

Started by Faith, November 10, 2017, 06:50:17 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Jayne01

Quote from: Faith on June 16, 2018, 06:39:55 AM
yeah, I'm turning myself around. Trying to concentrate on the positives instead of the negatives. Once I clear that internal struggle it should be smooth sailing .. comparatively while I patch the holes in the sailcloth while bailing due to the holes caused by the rough ground that I hit. Nothing to it :P
That's the spirit. You go girl!
  •  

KathyLauren

Quote from: Faith on June 16, 2018, 06:39:55 AM
yeah, I'm turning myself around. Trying to concentrate on the positives instead of the negatives. Once I clear that internal struggle it should be smooth sailing .. comparatively while I patch the holes in the sailcloth while bailing due to the holes caused by the rough ground that I hit. Nothing to it :P
It beats being up the creek without a paddle. ;D  You've got this, Faith!
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
  •  

Faith

and the pendulum swings. I feel miserable, body aches, muscle knots, piercing sinus pains .. I'm a mess.
-=the big but=- (no, not my butt) ... my mood is still up.

life is so weird.



ps.
honorable mention: bOObs :D
I left the door open, only a few came through. such is my life.

  •  

Jayne01

Quote from: Faith on June 18, 2018, 01:08:33 PM
and the pendulum swings. I feel miserable, body aches, muscle knots, piercing sinus pains .. I'm a mess.
-=the big but=- (no, not my butt) ... my mood is still up.

life is so weird.



ps.
honorable mention: bOObs :D
Oh! We haven't heard from the boobs in a while. Glad to hear they are still getting a mention. You even managed to squeeze in a butt mention [emoji23] [emoji23]

Glad your mood is still up with the bodily aches and pains.

Hugs,
Jayne
  •  

Faith

Lori and I were finally settled on the couch last night winding down to bed time. I didn't feel like watching anything new as that would take too much thinking. I settled on and old movie, "Field of Dreams" ... can you guess what happened?
I left the door open, only a few came through. such is my life.

  •  

Jayne01

You built a baseball field in your back yard? [emoji41]
  •  

Faith

Since I was 'talking' to Jayne via email I figured I should answer my posed question on here even though I suspect little interest. short answer .. I broke down and cried for a few minutes. No point in typing out a whole story, pretty boring really.

back to the shadows I go.

I left the door open, only a few came through. such is my life.

  •  

Northern Star Girl

Quote from: Faith on June 19, 2018, 05:43:07 AM
Lori and I were finally settled on the couch last night winding down to bed time. I didn't feel like watching anything new as that would take too much thinking. I settled on and old movie, "Field of Dreams" ... can you guess what happened?

@Faith:   You just can't leave your followers hanging like that.   
Of course we all know what happened in the movie as @Jayne01 quipped in her reply.  BUT, your followers and readers want to know, what did happen with you and Lori on the couch???   
We obviously only want you to post the clean version of the details here on the Forums.

Thanks for posting and keeping your thread updated....  but please do not go "back to the shadows..."
Hugs,
Danielle
****Help support this website by:
Subscribing !     and/or by    Donating !
  
Check out my Personal Blog Threads below
to read more details about me and my life.

             (Click Links below):  [Oldest first]
  Aspiringperson is now Alaskan Danielle    
           I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles    
                  A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles    
                             Danielle's Continuing Life Adventures
 
Started HRT March 2015 and
I've been Full-Time since December 2016.
I love living in a small town in Alaska
I am 44 years old & Single
Email: northernstargirl@susans.org
  •  

Jayne01

Quote from: Faith on June 20, 2018, 12:07:29 PM
Since I was 'talking' to Jayne via email I figured I should answer my posed question on here even though I suspect little interest. short answer .. I broke down and cried for a few minutes. No point in typing out a whole story, pretty boring really.

back to the shadows I go.
Faith, just to clarify for you and your readers, I answered your question with a tongue in cheek response because I already knew the answer to your question from our emails. It wasn't my place to repeat anything that we have discussed privately. My silly response came from my silly nature! [emoji12]

You have some very interested followers here. We don't find your posts boring, otherwise we wouldn't be following your thread in the first place. I will repeat what Danielle said, please don't return to the shadows. We like you and miss you when you are not around. Post stories that are as long as you want. I will certainly be reading them with interest. I know others will too.

Hugs,
Jayne
  •  

steph2.0

Quote from: Faith on June 20, 2018, 12:07:29 PM
Since I was 'talking' to Jayne via email I figured I should answer my posed question on here even though I suspect little interest. short answer .. I broke down and cried for a few minutes. No point in typing out a whole story, pretty boring really.

back to the shadows I go.

No, please don't do that. We're bored when you're not posting. Your stories, both good and bad, are important. We all care about you and want to help when we can. So stay with us here!

Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
  •  

Faith

first order of business:
@Jayne looking great .. ever forward
@steph I'm sorry for your crap day dealing with idiots and stumbles. From all that I've read, none of it is a 'you' problem, it's a 'them' problem - let them deal with it. You keep doing what you're doing and be yourself.
@everyone else; I can't keep up. I just cannot read all the good/bad goings-on. it eats at me. Better to not read. No reflection on any of you.



I'll try to summarize my days a bit
1- 'Field of Dreams' couch time. Strictly PG-13, thank you very much. One scene of the movie makes the statement something like, "It must be heaven, heaven is where dreams come true". Well, at the end of the movie, I crawl over and lay in Lori's lap, look up at her and say (paraphrased now), "This must be heaven". And then I broke down and cried while my loving caring wife looked down at me and laughed, and laughed. Really .. LAUGHING. Pour my heart out, bare my soul, and this is my reward ... sheesh. For those not in the know (which is most of you), it was not malicious or demeaning laughing. It was fun, teasing, together laughing. I'll take it.

2- Text from my sis-in-law with a screenshot of a contact on her phone. Faith Nicole XXXX with my number. She asked, "Is this right". Yep. She said she wanted it on her phone to help her remember and get used to it.

3- Vacation Trip. One lunch outing with Lori and her sister when it was time to be seated we got, "Follow me ladies." As we were standing together, rather closely, I was included in that statement. Spoiled a bit later when my wife was talking to the waitress about her t-shirt and she (Lori) pointed and me and said, "I got it for him"  O.o It didn't bother me but it would have been nice to see how far I got just being 'one of the ladies' ... probably nowhere but one can dream.

4- Finally got my blood work straight at PP. They are reviewing and will call back regarding prescription changes or not.

5- less, and more, to add .. summation, where I am at is likely how the rest of my life will be. Better than where I was, not where I want to be. I have to learn to live with it.



I know, not the 'stories' that people look to reading. I am just a boring abnormal person not a literary genius.

I left the door open, only a few came through. such is my life.

  •  

davina61

[quote author=Faith link=topic=230421.msg2147603#msg2147603 date=1529685115

I know, not the 'stories' that people look to reading. I am just a boring abnormal person not a literary genius.
[/quote] Join the club (the Susans club!!)
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
GRS 2021 5th Nov

Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever
  • skype:davina61?call
  •  

Jayne01

Hi Faith,
Awesome text from your sister in law. Obviously no issues with her accepting you and she is making an effort to retrain her brain to learn your new name so that she doesn't make a mistake. Can't ask for more than that.

I'm glad PP has finally got your blood work sorted. How long do you expect before hearing anything from them regarding prescription changes?

You are far from a boring person. Abnormal? Well.........who wants to be normal, that would be boring! [emoji12] And I am glad you are not a literary genius, if you were I probably would understand you. I look forward to reading your updates. Keep them coming as often as you like.

Hugs,
Jayne
  •  

Faith

hey y'all. I really having trouble assimilating comments and typing out replies. Sometimes I am blank right from the start, other times a whole reply flashes through me head and by the time I put fingers to keyboard it's all blank again. I've also been very clumsy lately, like coordination is off + eyesight depth perception is wrong. Knocking things over and such. Last night I set something down on the counter .. the counter wasn't there, it went straight to the floor.

PP and blood work .. sorted? NOT!. They reviewed the blood work and called me back. "Oh, we're so sorry. they only did the lipid tests, which look great by the way, they did not do the full Comprehensive Metabolic Panel. We need you to come in again for another blood draw."

So, on my perfectly nice Friday with 8.5hrs of overtime, I had to leave early to get to them before they close. They're 2nd 'free' redo blood draw cost me $100 off my paycheck.  GRRRRRRR



speaking of overtime, For you techies out there, I'll describe why I had OT.

As some of you may recall, we ordered and installed a new SAN (network and DA storage), server, assorted switch. It was installed and configured in the nice brand new shiny tech area. oo pretty.

On Wed, it was a fairly good day for me, things went well, I felt good, low humidity. I got home and felt well enough to mow our yard. 2 hours later (on a small rider, large yard) and my required shower, I notice the blinky light on my phone.

I check messages, well that new server had a glitch, the techs on-hand restarted it all improperly. I was going to have to check the whole system for issues. but WAIT, I had some email come in .. equipment unreachable via network. After the 4th such showed up in the space of a few minutes I remembered that the monitoring app that I use on my phone was still off for vacation.

I restart the app and buzz .. buzz .. 60+ alerts about failed equipment. No recourse, I'm beat and tired but I have to go back in to work.

I get there, open the tech door and I am greeted by a missing ceiling tile, exposed drain pipe, a waterfall running down the last rack of equipment onto the floor where the missing tile was mush in a huge puddle. Yep, the last rack was the main switch stack (3-4 months old) and the new san, operational for maybe a week.

My counterpart shows up just as I am recovering and she goes into shock as well. Standing there gaping.

While gathering a tarp and such to deflect the water and clean up a bit, mind is racing. How to get things back online for the morning shift. 1 switch dead, server storage head dead, everything full of water and could die at any time.

Click, click, brain goes into recovery mode. Despite my recent muddled thinking I get it sorted. My brain is auto-mode when it comes to computers and network. I can be totally miserable and do computer work.

1st step - pull the wet/dead stuff. At least half gallon of water out of two pieces of equipment .. I didn't know there was enough room in there for that much water.

2nd step - while my counterpart does the clean-up I go off to prep an older switch to swap out with a (completely separate) new switch in another part of the building - which just happens to be new. I swap them out and reset the new switch to insert into the stack replacing the failed switch. OO pretty lights as it all comes online. A few dead ports on the 2nd switch, nothing I can do about that.

3rd step - replace the new server. We don't have one. WAIT, our old SAN!! I had built out a new'ish server (I was going to use it for archival). It's already set up for connecting to a SAN. We just need to use the 10G card from the dead one .. luckily for us, the card is still good. Do all the reconfiguration set up shares and up we go.

4th step - Plug in the redundant power (which has a tripped breaker). I get to the last power cord, plug it in and POP, there goes another breaker. One working switch, 2nd power supply. I pull the power supply out and a cup of water pours out onto the floor. Why was that thing working at all? Glad it was though, I didn't have another one to swap out.

By 4 am everything is clean, dry .. except inside some of it .. (tarp still hanging, jic) and fully operational. Time to go home and go to bed, which I did and back to work by 8 am to follow-up on anything that might have been missed or failed.

Yes, everyone knows that you don't install equipment under any plumbing, our 'bosses' didn't care, "it'll be OK" .. yep, it was fine :/  They haven't learned a thing, they pan on installing our new VOIP phone system in another room .. under the upstairs bathrooms that have already been known to leak .. AND .. has a warranty clause tht invalidates the warranty if installed under plumbing.

What happened? combination. A new cleaning crew used a 'never used' utility closet to empty a mop bucket. Well, that mop bucket missed. The drain was fine but the floor outside the drain had crack, the water went under the basin, down the pipe and into the new server room.

equipment damage? eh, no big deal. We have the whole rack approved and ordered for replacement ... only about $70,000.

ps. one 'boss' though that we could clean up the wet equipment with a spray cleaner O.o




That's enough spewing for today, I guess I had to get that out somewhere. lucky you, you got the read it .. or you got seriously bored, skimmed, and moved on as fast as your mouse could click 'next topic'
I left the door open, only a few came through. such is my life.

  •  

Jayne01

Read it all, understood a fraction of it. Electronics and water don't mix — got it! Management think they know more than the experts they employ — standard in every industry. SAN — the big bright thing in the sky, oh wait, that's a SUN....ummm, lost me there. Sounds like an eventful day for you.

Sorry you keep getting messed around with your blood tests. What a pain! What's up with the dropping things and not feeling quite right? Anything to be worried about or just a clumsy day?

Jayne
  •  

Faith

QuoteSAN
Storage Area Network - basically a bunch of hard drives hooked together accessible by bunches of people, instead of just one like when you plug in an external drive or usb thumb drive. This particular SAN is 120TB Rather small but sufficient. Our old one was ~80TB

confused/mush head?  I don't know, been that way a month or so, varying in degrees.
I left the door open, only a few came through. such is my life.

  •  

Susan Baum

Quote from: Faith on June 23, 2018, 07:56:58 AM
What happened? combination. A new cleaning crew used a 'never used' utility closet to empty a mop bucket. Well, that mop bucket missed. The drain was fine but the floor outside the drain had crack, the water went under the basin, down the pipe and into the new server room.

equipment damage? eh, no big deal. We have the whole rack approved and ordered for replacement ... only about $70,000.

ps. one 'boss' though that we could clean up the wet equipment with a spray cleaner O.o
Faith,
I think one (now hopefully former and well insured) cleaning crew and "boss" both need to be "hosed."

I know, me bad - but it helps me keep my SANity.

Susan
ps. I know that disappearing counter trick, too. Well, the floor needed mopping anyway :(
Aging is inevitable - growing up is optional.
  •  

Dena

Quote from: Jayne01 on June 23, 2018, 08:07:32 AM
Electronics and water don't mix — got it!
Actually they do sometimes. When they stopped using freon as a cleaner, there was the problem of how do you get the solder flux off the board after your done with assembly. The solution was water soluble flux. It works great however you need to let the board fully dry out before applying power.

Second story. One of our units was submerged under around 10 feet of water due to a flood. The customer set it to us and we sent out a replacement. After replacing the parts that would be damaged by water, the unit functioned perfectly. However that wasn't the end of the story. We tracked every board we produced and had a sheet of paper documenting the history of each board. The boards were recycled into a maintenance unit and sent to another customer where it latter failed. It seemed that under the water pressure the water had seeped into the chips between the case and the legs later causing the chip to fail. After that, all the boards from that unit were pulled out of the units and scrapped.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
If you are helped by this site, consider leaving a tip in the jar at the bottom of the page or become a subscriber
  •  

Faith

you can't trust electronics that got wet unless they're designed for it ... then be skeptical.
If they don't surprise you with a quick failure they'll pester you with undiagnosable errors and problems.


On to life topics.


I had to work on my El Camino yesterday. Hot, sweaty, icky. Lori came home at lunch and I mentioned not feeling girlie from it and I should dress up for her for when she got home. Well, she got home while I was still in the shower. I finished my prep and threw on my light-weight long dress and shawl. Laurie, it's the one you saw me in when you visited.

We discussed dinner, not really in the budget but then ... Lori burned her dinner, then she dropped her bread on our nasty dog-hair littered floor. It was a sign, we go to dinner.

I asked her to pick out something for me to wear. She tossed it back to me saying whatever I want. grrr. Then as she waked down the hallway to change she hollered back, just wear what you have on.

hmm, I had to think long about that one. In the meantime, I put on my face and stuff. Still wearing the dress, we're at the front steps ready to load in to the car. She say, "Last chance to change your mind".  Nope, I loaded up. I'm going to do this.

We chatted a bit about it on the way. She was fine, I was nervous. We get there and park, I'm walking slowly toward the restaurant. She asked if I wanted to change my mind .. nope. On we go.

I saw one woman check me out twice and one ?gentleman? watch me come in. Lori says one other man was checking me out all night - probably trying to figure me out.

All said and done, an evening of 'This way ladies' and 'how are we doing ladies' goes a long way even if it was out of politeness.

I left the door open, only a few came through. such is my life.

  •  

steph2.0

Quote from: Faith on June 24, 2018, 08:03:12 AMAll said and done, an evening of 'This way ladies' and 'how are we doing ladies' goes a long way even if it was out of politeness.

Sqeeeee!


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
  •