Faith's Progress

[Stevi]

Faith,

Yoohoo! I'm here keeping tabs on you, too.  Being ladied and maamed make my day brighter, too. 


Stevi

[Donna]

I don't know but it's been read 20,000 time so yes we are here for you. Hope you have lots more positives and it is great not being recognized. It such an amazing feeling. Ma'am and she or her or ladies is all great. Let the miss genders go right over your head. Hopefully the little steel of breakages will pass and all will be well

[steph2.0]

I'm still here and following your progress, Faith. And as Donna said, at just over 20,000 reads, somebody's out there.

I feel the same as you do - is anyone really listening? I get very few comments, and only from a core group of friends, yet my thread is just short of 46,000 reads. Who the heck is seeing it? I'm beginning to wonder if it's bots or something.

In any case, you know there are those of us still here who care about what you're up to, so please keep posting.

Stephanie

[Faith]

Thanks ya'll for commenting. I say y'all because some take offense to 'guys', although my usage has always been inclusive, not exclusive.

I know people read though, I get the occasional surprise 'I've been reading your thread' comments now and again. My feeling is, and has been, and expressed before ... I don't feel like part of the community. I tried posting responses whenever a thought crossed my mind after reading one but every time that I post I feel like I am interrupting and interjecting myself into someone else's conversation. On top of that, I tend to word things in a way that is misconstrued.

So, I stay in my own quiet little corner, and then feel empty because it's a quiet little corner ... I'm my own worst enemy.

[JudiBlueEyes]

hi Y'all (well, the one or two that bother to look in here). Popping in for a few. Things have been rather uneventful on the whole. Ups and downs, but who doesn't?

I don't know why I still end up posting but there you have it .. whomever ends up reading it, if any one.

OK enough of the pity party!   Look at the numbers, lots of readers here!  Do you need to be sent to Danielle's Positive Mindset thread for a while? 

Unfortunately dear it seems life has been throwing curve balls at you, but you're still standing!  Chin up, another day is coming and bad times don't last.  But you certainly will, we have Faith in you.  (bad pun intended)
Judi

[Donna]

Faith I don't think there is a person here that at one time or another has not felt exactly the same am I intruding, am I interrupting. Believe me you are not alone and if you think you offend most very likely don't take it that way. The "guy thing" being one of those issue we all run into al the time. We do it with family and friends all our lives. If you go with "hey guy" then there will be push back but for the most part I take that guy thing as a term of endearment and not a slight.
You are here and you have not been asked to leave as you for sure are part of the community. We all post thoughts and comments it's what the site is about.
Talk with us, PM those that accept, myself included. We are all unique individuals and we all will work together for a common goal.
Acceptance, understanding and moving forward along our own chosen path. What ever that may be without judgement and criticism.

[LizK]

You really have had a it all pile in on you at once...What is it with things going wrong around your house it can never happen one at a time and when you have the means to repair it.

From your description of others reaction to you, it sounds like you have changed substantially and are being read as just " another woman". That is fantastic...you are doing really well but unfortunately all you can see is him...I understand how difficult that is to deal with constantly... The hardest part is getting your head to catch up with your actual appearance. In your case other women see you as "Just another woman" so it seems you do look far better than you think, this disconnect between how we think we present to the world and how we actually present to the world seems to be  common amongst those who transition. This is something I also struggle with...we are always the last to see her and banish him. I would not say "he" is totally gone from my life but I have been slowly able to see more of her over the last 2 months than the previous 50 years.  I still have plenty of days where all I can see is him...it is getting better but it still sucks when you feel that way.

I enjoy reading your thread although I don't always comment. 


Take care

Liz

 

[Faith]

I honestly think it's just weight-loss (50 lbs and counting) and the way I dress. I do OK from a distance, up close - nope - proximity gives me away. If I speak it's a dead giveaway. My features are still too masculine, likely always will be. I have to learn to live with it or wear a bag.

Positive mindset?

I am positive my mind is set. My face and body are set too, unfortunately they are set the wrong way ... 

[steph2.0]

You may be surprised Faith. I still don't see any serious changes in myself, but others are saying, "oh, yeah!" So patience is called for (she said while drumming her fingers on the table, impatiently waiting for FFS and GCS.)


Stephanie

[Donna]

Faith, I have been onmeds since October and estrogen since January. I've done nothing to my face other than lose weight. I wear light make up and lipstick but even natural no one recognizes me. Don't write off your appearance as you may look way different to others. The day will come when you are sitting looking in a mirror and you won't recognize who is looking back. Believe me it happens and it's what others are seeing in you until you see it.
I have lived in this complex for 15 years and I managed it for 6 and I can walk anywhere around here and not a single person who hasn't already meet Donna doesn't even recognize me. I have. A very deep voice and what you see in my avatar is what everyone sees and I'm living as a female now with out a question and in most cases a second glance from anyone. You will be able to do the same when your ready but most of all
Just be yourself and be true to you

[Faith]

had a Dr visit yesterday with my primary care, follow-up on my kidney problem and gluten intolerance. All my pointers have improved, overall general health is good. Downside, borderline anemic. I'm changing my B12 supplement to help it. Hoping liquid will absorb better than tablets (due to my intestines not absorbing things well). At least the malnutrition diagnosis went away.

I officially lost another 7+ lbs. That's less than my 50 lb estimate but I am bouncing from 156 - 162 so there's lots of leeway there. That's since the end of Oct 2017. I am no longer trying to lose weight, just maintain. I exercise for abdomen and glutes. Glutes are hard to work on because my knees are weak

Went to the local park to play some music last night, it was a good night. No special dress-up, just shorts and a t-shirt.

I started wearing a bra to work under my thinner tops, not much choice there. I don't want to get called into HR for 'inappropriate dress'. There's other girls that got reprimanded for showing too much, umm, everything

I'm still waffling at wearing a skirt on Friday (casual day). I've chickened out 3 times already. I'm a wuss.

I'm feeling a little more relaxed. I'm not sure if it's just one of those swings or if my overall mood is settling down finally.

[Jayne01]

had a Dr visit yesterday with my primary care, follow-up on my kidney problem and gluten intolerance. All my pointers have improved, overall general health is good. Downside, borderline anemic. I'm changing my B12 supplement to help it. Hoping liquid will absorb better than tablets (due to my intestines not absorbing things well). At least the malnutrition diagnosis went away.

I officially lost another 7+ lbs. That's less than my 50 lb estimate but I am bouncing from 156 - 162 so there's lots of leeway there. That's since the end of Oct 2017. I am no longer trying to lose weight, just maintain. I exercise for abdomen and glutes. Glutes are hard to work on because my knees are weak

Went to the local park to play some music last night, it was a good night. No special dress-up, just shorts and a t-shirt.

I started wearing a bra to work under my thinner tops, not much choice there. I don't want to get called into HR for 'inappropriate dress'. There's other girls that got reprimanded for showing too much, umm, everything

I'm still waffling at wearing a skirt on Friday (casual day). I've chickened out 3 times already. I'm a wuss.

I'm feeling a little more relaxed. I'm not sure if it's just one of those swings or if my overall mood is settling down finally.

Thanks for the update Faith. Happy to hear your general health is good, following your doctor appointment. Keep up the good work with maintaining your weight and exercise. I seem to be stuck around 80kg (176lb). Admittedly, I don't exercise anywhere near as much as I should, so only have myself to blame.

Don't be to hard on yourself for not wearing a skirt to work. You will do it when you feel comfortable and the time is right for you.

Glad your feeling more relaxed. It seems like you are starting to settle into a new normal.

Hugs,
Jayne

[LizK]

Congratulations on the weightloss...I know from personal experience how tough that can be. Although being diagnosed as malnourished is never good either!.


I have been living fulltime for over a year and I still have days when my confidence is so shot that I won't wear a skirt. This used to happen all the time but eventually I wore the skirt and I lost the fear that went with it. You may well be pleasantly surprised by peoples reactions I know I was.


I hope whatever positive changes you are experiencing are of the permanent variety. Enjoy your casual day and who know's you may even garner the courage to wear that skirt  because life is too short to be left wanting. 


Take care

Liz

[Faith]

Lori sent me a text this morning that I have to totally disagree with.

She typed, "I feel so good, so good I got you"

I really think it's the other way around.

[steph2.0]

Lori sent me a text this morning that I have to totally disagree with.

She typed, "I feel so good, so good I got you"

I really think it's the other way around.

They're not mutually exclusive. Good for you both.

Stephanie

[KathyLauren]

Lori sent me a text this morning that I have to totally disagree with.

She typed, "I feel so good, so good I got you"

I really think it's the other way around.

What a nice disagreement to have! 

My wife and I regularly argue about which of us is luckier.  I know that I am.  She disagrees.

[Susan Baum]

They're not mutually exclusive. Good for you both.

Stephanie

I'll second Stephanie's emotion - good for you both. You are good for Lori and she is good for you. Love is a powerful thing.

I know I could not have become the woman I am - nor you the woman you are - without our best friends and the loves of our lives at our sides; hand in hand facing the unknown together. Meeting Lori turned out to be a huge blessing that changed your life forever.

Susan

[Faith]

Lori has me beat on the acceptance and tolerance and .. well, etc, etc. I am most definitely on the receiving side of more luck than I deserve. I forget the topic of conversation, something about something I did (of course) that she does better (doesn't do?)... anyway, my answer was a straight out, "That's because you're a better person than I am" .... OOO .. unintended brownie points. Seriously, I said it because I meant it, not to curry favor

At work today, You would think that HR would at least try to utilize correct pronouns and addresses. I know I am not trying to enforce it but you'd think they, at the least, would try on their own.

Maybe it's time for a conversation about name and pronouns at work. How far can I push it w/o legal name change.

crappy day today, not emotionally. I woke up with my neck and mid back all messed up. Misery does not make for a happy mood.

ok, that's it. I wouldn't update at all but I keep getting nasty messages when I don't post anything .. downright mean and vicious .. huh?, wha??, me exaggerate ??  pshaw !!!!!

[Laurie]

  Hey! Get it right, I am not mean and vicious, I am meanrotten. And I haven't been bugging you for updates.... (though seeing one every so often is nice)

Hugs,
  Laurie

[LizK]

I appreciate your updates faith even if @Laurie doesn't...and she can claim to be mean and rotten all she wants but I know its not true.


Wow I would have thought HR would be the one place to have their stuff together about pronouns...I think you should give them a gentle nudge in the right direction and see how they respond...might get you further than you expect...hopefully.


Hope your day is getting better and not so crappy...sounds like you are in great hands.


Take care


Liz