Hey everyone, One quick update then I'm back offline.
Got home Friday night from work, got showered and made up. I wanted to 'dress to WOW'. I'm not sure that I did. I had to change my outfit from what I had planned to something pick - Breast Cancer Benefit. I think I pulled off decent in any case.
The evening went well, not as great as the Saturday before (it had set the bar pretty high) but a good night. No untoward responses. Greeted by some friends, by all appearances, 'normally'. Couple others a bit strained. Several straight out accepting. One couple we hadn't seen in ages. I went to say hi and got hugs. They said that they recognized me right away .. because I was with Lori
. The gal of the couple said straight out that I looked like a woman .. mission accomplished.
I danced a few slows with Lori, she grabbed me up for a couple fast dance .. ACK! .. I made it through but I was really self-conscious.
My nieces were there, I caught them up with my goings-on.
The woman from Saturday (with all the questions) caught me between dances, "Remember me?" .. how could I forget? She got back with us at the end of the evening. Started to say something and stopped looking at the others grouped around. I told her that it's OK, that's my brother and nieces. I looked at them and said, "This is the lady with all the questions". She's like, "You told them?"
Anyway, she proceeded to tell me what an impact I had made on her. She said that she stayed up most of that night thinking about it, crying, doing more thinking.
Anyways, that's a summary of Friday.
Saturday morning was normal? I puttered around the house until my brother showed up. He handed over the keys to the car. We chatted a bit. Lori came out from her shower ready to go to work then had to leave. My sister picked him up to take my brother back. After that things fell apart.
I get severely depressed, thinking thoughts that I hadn't thought in months. "Why me?" "Why now?" "What's the plan" "Why'd it happen?" I even got to the point of thinking .. maybe if something were to happen to me everyone will be better off.
That's how Lori caught up with me when she come home for her lunch. We talked things over a bit, my mood didn't really change. She went back to work, I went for a walk. Walks usually clear my head, this one didn't. Mybe because Lori wasn't with me to bounce my thoughts and feelings off of.
When she got home from work, I was already curled up in bed for the night .. it was 7pm
This morning (Sunday), slightly improved, still depressed but no bad thoughts.
Thanks for reading
Faith
