Faith's Progress

[steph2.0]

I'm here in the void and I hear you.

[KathyLauren]

Faith, I don't comment much because it seems that my comments aren't very helpful.  But I do read your thread regularly.  I am here, and I am not going anywhere.  Feel free to PM me any time you want.

[Faith]

I'm here in the void and I hear you.

Faith, I don't comment much because it seems that my comments aren't very helpful.  But I do read your thread regularly.  I am here, and I am not going anywhere.  Feel free to PM me any time you want.

HEY ! .. it's just me. It's how I feel in general at times, not necessarily here on the forums (although that can get a bit echo'y at times as well). I had also considered posting a different picture, possible copyright and all. I don't want to get cut off from the forum unless I do it to myself. I'm the last person to have a right to complain about no posts considering I rarely post anywhere but my own thread. I do complain though, it's one of the few things that I am good at doing.

And helpful comments? Always.
Solutions? Sometimes yes, sometimes no, but all welcome.

Like I said, I really don't feel all that bad today. I did have a moment when a co-worker referenced me by my old name as I was walking by ... grrrr ... I'm over it already.

I take it, though, that the 'void' photo is not a profile picture candidate?

[steph2.0]

HEY ! .. it's just me. It's how I feel in general at times, not necessarily here on the forums (although that can get a bit echo'y at times as well). I had also considered posting a different picture, possible copyright and all. I don't want to get cut off from the forum unless I do it to myself. I'm the last person to have a right to complain about no posts considering I rarely post anywhere but my own thread. I do complain though, it's one of the few things that I am good at doing.

And helpful comments? Always.
Solutions? Sometimes yes, sometimes no, but all welcome.

Like I said, I really don't feel all that bad today. I did have a moment when a co-worker referenced me by my old name as I was walking by ... grrrr ... I'm over it already.

I take it, though, that the 'void' photo is not a profile picture candidate?

I'm glad to hear your day is going better than it seemed from that quote. But if things do go south, don't forget that you don't have to wait until you're spiraling to call on your friends.

Click or call; operators are on duty.

[Donica]

<<<FAITH!!! >>>

[Faith]

<<<FAITH!!! >>>

Flowers, for me? What'd you do? It's either that or you want something .....

[Donica]

Haha! No, they're just for being you.

[Faith]

Haha! No, they're just for being you.

strange, they don't look black and dying ....

[Faith]

Yesterday turned bad by the time I got home. I can't handle weather changes. Cold or hot is ok but the change causes a change in pressure and takes it's toll. It feels like a 300 lb weight on my head, lots of pressure, can't focus, can't concentrate, easily frustrated. Couple that with my transition woes and that makes for a very bad evening. My whole thought was to wear ugly jeans (if I could find any) baggy shirt, and sneakers to work today.

Lori, after I picked her up from work, didn't give up or avoid me (as used to be the norm when this happened to him). She just kept being herself, sat with me after a bit, coaxed me into talking (which he would never do). By the time we were ready for bed, I was in a good mood. All the crap gone (well, except some of the pressure)

I love my wife



Dress code .. well, suffice to say I did not wear the planned outfit. To commemorate I will share a quick photo of what I see reflected in one of the work windows each time I walk by. Not quite natural since I had to stop and hold my phone up for the picture. To be honest, some days that reflection hates me. Most of the time it's very favorable even when mirrors aren't.



click it for a bigger view (takes you to imgur)

[Nicole70]

Hi Faith,

Sorry you've had a few bumps in the road this week, but glad you found yourself again with Lori's help yesterday evening, you are very lucky to have her but we can all see that you know that and love her deeply.

The reflection in the window is all woman, you are looking really great at the moment.

I hope you have a good weekend.

Hugs Nicole

[Faith]

Hi Faith,

Sorry you've had a few bumps in the road this week, but glad you found yourself again with Lori's help yesterday evening, you are very lucky to have her but we can all see that you know that and love her deeply.

The reflection in the window is all woman, you are looking really great at the moment.

I hope you have a good weekend.

Hugs Nicole

Thank you Nicole. That particular reflection is mostly favorable so I walk that way a lot
Support ... It is, as you said in your thread, great to have the support of family.

[Donica]

I'm glad your feeling better Faith. I used to have issues with my sinuses during weather changes until I found salt water works wonders for this. Saline, A magical solution.

I favor my image in windows too. I'm ok with a mirror for the most part but I don't like pictures. I'm just not very photogenic. I always check myself out when entering buildings with glass doors and windows. I usually like what I see.

Hugs girl!
Donica.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Faith
Dear Faith:
We all require support during our transition journey...before and after... and in life in general. 
No better people to get that from other than loving family members and spouses.

I am so very happy for you... your updates are always a nice way to follow your life events which allows your followers to root for you and to be "with" you when you may need it most.
We are your biggest fans ....

As always, thank you for sharing your thoughts with your Forums friends.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Faith]

Well, we'll see how things turn out. I have impending bad, or good, or middlin' all depending.

It seems that gossip has been running slow. We have our invite to Lori's Brother's &sis-in-law's for Thanksgiving. Yesterday they 'found out' and the sis-in-law had "a few questions". Those few revolved around how Lori was doing. I asked Lori if she told them that I am open for questions or if she gave them 'the letter' to read. She said no.

Tonight, if it works out, I want Lori to take them the letter. If they have questions, I'll go over after to answer.  If they don't want to see me and want to uninvite from Thanksgiving, so be it.

drama .. sheesh

no, it's not bothering me as far as they are concerned, I am concerned about Lori if they are totally unaccepting. This is her favorite brother .. yeah, I know .. no favorites  .. I rarely see them except to say Hi if we cross while shopping or something.

Shopping, that's probably where they heard. We bumped into their daughter and family at Walmart .. I was in my skirt still made up from work. Then again, they did sit near us one day at IHOP. A little of both likely.

I feeling good, sitting here munching my olives and drinking orange juice. In a few minutes I'll be taking my nightly girl-pills.

I go get Lori at 6 then we go get the car from the shop. After that, we'll see.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Faith
Dear Faith:
Wishing you well with your Thanksgiving and Family drama and suspense.  You have the right attitude about your transition journey.... you have to do what you have to do to make your happy... I am very glad that Lori is tuned into your desires and that she is supporting you. 

I trust that no matter what happens with her favorite brother and sis-in-law that all will be well.
Keep us updated......

Hugs,
Danielle

[Faith]

it went exactly as I expected. Not only do they not accept (that was a given) they point blank said that they would continue to call me John and no other name. Trying and forgetting/getting it wrong I can deal with, refusal I do not accept at all.

Not accepting because of your beliefs I can accept as well, you can't force or convince someone. They have to come to their own terms, or not. Refusing to use my name .. my chosen name .. is simply disrespectful and I do not accept that.

Even though they said that I'm still welcome, I refuse to go over there. I will be sitting home alone on Thanksgiving. Lori can stay or go, her choice. I'll not keep her from visiting her family. I did ask her to refuse to talk about me if they bring it up. She can tell anyone that asks the real reason that I am not there.

today sucks, well it started last night. I did not sleep well. I'm trying not to let it get me down. I'm more irritated than anything. I would say mad but for some reason I can't seem to get mad about it.

I hope all y'alls day is the inverse of mine.

[KathyLauren]

Well <not allowed>, that sucks!  I think you are right that one can (reluctantly) accept sincere nonacceptance, but not outright disrespect.

I am so sorry that you have this drama in your extended family.  I am glad that you have Lori's support.

[Donica]

I'm so sorry to hear that Faith. My next door neighbor is like that. We don't speak anymore, which is fine with me. I think it would be more fun (if Lori decides to stay home) for the two of you share the intimacy of preparing your own Thanksgiving dinner. I always loved cooking together in the kitchen with my ex. I cook my own Thanksgiving dinners these days. I've gotten pretty good at it. Wishing you a happy Thanksgiving holiday Faith!

Hugs,
Donica.

[Michelle_P]

Faith, I am sorry to read this, but there is absolutely no reason to associate with people who will actively be hurtful and disrespectful towards you.

If you will be left alone on Thanksgiving, consider going to a community Thanksgiving event with a welcoming and accepting group.  Locally our LGBTQ Center is hosting a Thanksgiving event, as are a few welcoming and accepting church groups.  (I'll be carving turkeys and serving my vegan/gluten free sweet potato casserole at a Unitarian Universalist Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday.)

Being with others at this time of year beats sitting alone with a turkey TV dinner watching an old movie.

[Northern Star Girl]

Faith, I am sorry to read this, but there is absolutely no reason to associate with people who will actively be hurtful and disrespectful towards you.

If you will be left alone on Thanksgiving, consider going to a community Thanksgiving event with a welcoming and accepting group.  Locally our LGBTQ Center is hosting a Thanksgiving event, as are a few welcoming and accepting church groups.  (I'll be carving turkeys and serving my vegan/gluten free sweet potato casserole at a Unitarian Universalist Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday.)

Being with others at this time of year beats sitting alone with a turkey TV dinner watching an old movie.

@Faith    cc: @Michelle_P
Dear Faith:
Possibly unfortunately you may be alone if you don't make some advance tentative and alternative Thanksgiving plans.
.   
The suggestion from @Michelle_P is a good thing to consider.

I have been away from home for 2 years and living up here all by myself but I have been able to arrange to celebrate these big holiday meal events with people from my club and civic groups, good friends, and now with my suitors of course.   Some of these potluck meal events have been so enjoyable.

I am wishing you well as your deal with all of this...  and Happy Thanksgiving to you and Lori.
Hugs,
Danielle