Faith's Progress

[JudiBlueEyes]

Oh yeah there is some change there!  That guy kinda looks like he may be related but...
And yes I can see that your hair has been trimmed.  And that's the Faith smile we all love.  Beautiful!

[Laurie]

Good picture Faith. Yes you have had quite a few changes in appearance all for the good. But the best part of today's posts you have made is "I really am starting to actually feel like one of the girls instead of just wanting to be one."

[Katie Ellen]

Faith - You definitely look a lot more feminine now. It's only been 1 year HRT right? Just think how much more it will effect you in the next year!

[Faith]

Katie, I'm just hitting 11 months. These past few months have made differences that even I can see. Especially when I look at my older photos.

Laurie, yes it's a real good feeling

I'd like to thank everyone their generous comments. I really appreciate it, not to mention that it's making me feel good (normally it would not .. more changes)

[Katie Ellen]

Faith,

Well I just reached 8 months, so I hope I see the same improvement you did in the next 3! 

[Faith]

I am at a bit of loss for words so this will not in my usual style (which apparently I have, or so I'm told).

What a grueling session!! My therapist didn't dig so deep into my thoughts and desires and ... naaahhh .. not really.  I found the meet up and subsequent exchanges so easy and comfortable you'd think that we knew each other since forever rather than just met.

We thoroughly enjoyed their visit and were very saddened when we parted. We look forward to a return visit but, should that become unlikely or take too long, Lori and I are planning a visit their direction. They'll have no choice in the matter.

I wasn't going to say this, too uncomfortable ... I have never been called pretty or gorgeous so much in such a short time. Excellent photos were taken which I cannot share. I could only look for a few seconds. If Tia or Deb which to share any in the 'trip' thread, that's up to them and OK with me.

we've got errands to run, gotta go.

[KathyLauren]

Tia and Debi do have a way of making you feel like you've known them forever!  They are very perceptive.

[steph2.0]

I am at a bit of loss for words so this will not in my usual style (which apparently I have, or so I'm told).

What a grueling session!! My therapist didn't dig so deep into my thoughts and desires and ... naaahhh .. not really.  I found the meet up and subsequent exchanges so easy and comfortable you'd think that we knew each other since forever rather than just met.

We thoroughly enjoyed their visit and were very saddened when we parted. We look forward to a return visit but, should that become unlikely or take too long, Lori and I are planning a visit their direction. They'll have no choice in the matter.

I wasn't going to say this, too uncomfortable ... I have never been called pretty or gorgeous so much in such a short time. Excellent photos were taken which I cannot share. I could only look for a few seconds. If Tia or Deb which to share any in the 'trip' thread, that's up to them and OK with me.

we've got errands to run, gotta go.

Not much I can add to that, except, "yup!"

They're the best.

Stephanie

[Anne Blake]

Now you all stop that kind of talk you hear! You've gone and made me blush (a hard thing to do) and both of us cry (a very easy thing to do). Love you girls,

Tia Anne & Debi

[Donica]

Now you all stop that kind of talk you hear! You've gone and made me blush (a hard thing to do) and both of us cry (a very easy thing to do). Love you girls,

Tia Anne & Debi

I can't wait to meet both. Faith, I hope you and Lori are planning a West Coast trip in the fall. I would love to meet you both too.

Hugs ladies!

Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk

[Linde]

Now you all stop that kind of talk you hear! You've gone and made me blush (a hard thing to do) and both of us cry (a very easy thing to do). Love you girls,

Tia Anne & Debi

But it still was nice having lunch with (and Faith) you yesterday!  I enjoyed it very much!

[Faith]

Now you all stop that kind of talk you hear! You've gone and made me blush (a hard thing to do) and both of us cry (a very easy thing to do). Love you girls,

Tia Anne & Debi

I would have liked to have seen the blush ... the tears, I can vouch for those. I thought I cried easily, I'm a barren desert in comparison. I say that with much affection

[Faith]

for those interested (all three crickets, they can make quite the chirping racket), I've managed to make a down swing. It's not a total surprise heading into the first week of the month (I may have to adjust to the last week of the month).

I'm bloated and have trouble resisting the urge to eat. YAY!! ??  

I do have an emergency stash ...

[Anne Blake]

Now really Faith, only three crickets? There are far more noise making chirpers out there that three. And why did the dark chocolate stay hidden during our visit?

Love you girls,
Tia Anne & Debi

[Faith]

Now really Faith, only three crickets? There are far more noise making chirpers out there that three. And why did the dark chocolate stay hidden during our visit?

Love you girls,
Tia Anne & Debi

Ahh, Tia. Just look at that bag .. it's a single serving, it wouldn't have been fair. 

Miss you gals
Faith

[Jessica]

I'll probably regret posting this. I don't have the exact date of the left photo. I think that it's pre-hrt, late 2017. The right is the one from today, obviously.

Faith, this is clear evidence that transitioning is working for you.
I'm so happy for you 🌸🌸🌸

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Faith]

 

Faith, this is clear evidence that transitioning is working for you.
I'm so happy for you

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

note: had to remove the flowers, they won't let me quote. I got the dreaded 'body of message left empty' error

[LauraE]

Faith

you've made incredible progress. I'm so happy for you.

Laura

[Faith]

progress, it doesn't feel like it. I shouldn't even post but I need to get it out somewhere (and Facebook is NOT the place!!).

let's bullet point my current standings

1 - I cannot look at my face in photos for more the a few seconds at most, and that only with certain photos.
2 - I cannot look at full body photos ... at all
3 - NO MIRRORS!!!!!!!!!!!!
4 - I cannot accept or envision what other people say that they see. Oh, I accept that they see it, I cannot
5 - No insurance, none nada. Insurance to cover my needs is almost 2 grand a month. 1500 for limited coverage. Sure, work has cheap group - that covers almost nothing unless you're dying in the hospital. But that's enough to invalidate me for any government subsidy.
6 - This is bloat week, amongst other related issues .. highly emotional.
7 - I've been building up pressure inside, it came out last night. I had my first ever (I do mean ever) panic attack. I couldn't think, I could barely get out single words, I couldn't breathe then I hyperventilated. I beat my hands on my head, I rocked back and forth, I cried, I bawled, I sobbed. I couldn't stop.
8 - Lori hid all my jeans to prevent me from 'dressing down'. I'm at work in my last pair, which are hers, that have shiny rivets patterned all over them. I did manage to snag my oversize men's long sleeve shirt to cover up with
9 - I started to put on make-up this morning and wiped it off.
10 - my hair is tied back to hide it a bit
11 -
12 -
.... oh there's more, I have to stop

I don't belong here. The world doesn't want me to be me, why should I bother to try. Everything is stacked against me. I can't even cuss on here and I want to scream every word that I know

I have no faith

[steph2.0]

What can I say except:

I'm listening.
I've been there.
I know what it feels like.
I (and all the rest of us) love you.

Stephanie