Faith's Progress

[Rayna]

...I am at work today to do some extra work requiring service interruption. I needed slacks. These were the only comfy jeans that fit the bill for today. This is why I don't like my body shape.

Still, just for you ...

Faith you look fine in that photo! So many women are (unfortunately) dissatisfied with their bodies, you fit right into the demographic. And I like your smile!

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[Faith]

... And I like your smile!

Thank you. I lost my smile many years ago. It'd pop up once in a while over the years, never into my eyes though. During this past year it's gotten increasingly difficult not to smile. Even when my mouth isn't smiling my eyes are.


A rough morning today. I dressed up for work, Lori loved it. All black, top/skirt. I pull it off reasonably well. Why was this morning rough? I could see and feel Lori struggling. She misses him. I don't know what to do to ease her pain.


For Danielle, so I don't get yelled at for no photo, it hurts my feelings (not really).

Yes, I've worn it before. It's one of those photos that I deleted.

[Faith]

I'm putting this into a different post.

Last night I was messaging with my niece. She was feeling a bit down so, as a lark, I sent her one of my photos stating, "have a photo of me to make you feel better". Well, she loved it stating that I looked so happy. I mentioned wishing that I could see her in it. Her reply? "I see girl all the way". She then proceeded to show it to her nieces boyfriend and asked him, "Is this a guy or a girl?". His instant response ... "that's a girl". I need to work on my perception of self

I have been so lucky in my family circle. I am really blessed with wonderful supporting people. Why then do I get so miserable? (that's a rhetorical question).

[TonyaW]

I need to work on my perception of self

Yes you do.  Saw your FB pics that someone else took. You looked relaxed and happy, and female in all of them. 

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[steph2.0]

Yes you do.  Saw your FB pics that someone else took. You looked relaxed and happy, and female in all of them. 

I saw those same pictures - unposed and spontaneous - and I just thought, "Wow, she looks so cute and happy!"


Stephanie

[Faith]

thank you both.

Today is a good day despite feeling bad about the start. I feel good, I can look at my photos, I can even look in the mirror!!  I'm not pushing it though, no staring and ruining it.

[steph2.0]

thank you both.

Today is a good day despite feeling bad about the start. I feel good, I can look at my photos, I can even look in the mirror!!  I'm not pushing it though, no staring and ruining it.

I learned something cool about mirrors. If you smile at the girl in the mirror she'll smile back at you!

[Northern Star Girl]

I learned something cool about mirrors. If you smile at the girl in the mirror she'll smile back at you!

@Steph2.0
Dear Stephanie:
You made a great point... I like mirrors too! 
I am always amazed at the blonde blue eyed woman I see smiling back at me.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Rayna]

I learned something cool about mirrors. If you smile at the girl in the mirror she'll smile back at you!

Yeah but if you laugh at her, she laughs right back! No mercy!

[steph2.0]

Yeah but if you laugh at her, she laughs right back! No mercy!

Good point. She was just rude and stuck her tongue out at me!


Stephanie

[Donica]

I wouldn't say that girl in the mirror is laughing at you, I would say she is laughing with you. I like mirrors too. It's the camera I can't stand. I mean really! I'm not that fat dang it! I don't look that fat in the mirror

[Rayna]

I wouldn't say that girl in the mirror is laughing at you, I would say she is laughing with you. I like mirrors too.

Yeah good point also. I try to keep a pretty good sense of humor about myself. Yes, we're laughing together! HA!

[Faith]

I laugh at myself all the time. Unfortunately it's one of those self-deprecating laughs.

Disappointment reigns today. I got my letter to schedule my name change hearing last Friday. I forgot the letter yesterday to call them. I remembered it today. I get all pumped up, papers in hand for any questions, make the call and ... answering machine. Out of office until next Monday. Only one person there, no staff.

What's another week when you've been waiting all your life? Eternity, that's what it is.

Can I cuss on here to vent? can I? huh? ok I will

$#%$#&  @%$#@  ^%#@#!!!!!!!!! 

[sarah1972]

Oh, no Faith!

I am so sorry, that is not fair. I am surprised that it is a single person scheduling.

Stay strong till Monday! It will happen...

Hugs,

Sarah

I laugh at myself all the time. Unfortunately it's one of those self-deprecating laughs.

Disappointment reigns today. I got my letter to schedule my name change hearing last Friday. I forgot the letter yesterday to call them. I remembered it today. I get all pumped up, papers in hand for any questions, make the call and ... answering machine. Out of office until next Monday. Only one person there, no staff.

What's another week when you've been waiting all your life? Eternity, that's what it is.

Can I cuss on here to vent? can I? huh? ok I will

$#%$#&  @%$#@  ^%#@#!!!!!!!!! 

[Rayna]

Mods! Faith is cussing!

Ok, I'm sorry, but on the plus side at least no one else is scheduling to get in front of you either. It's a delay in knowing when it will happen, but probably not a delay in the actual schedule. I hope it doesn't take too long.

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[Faith]

I'll be OK. I took a turn around the hallways (it's raining out) to burn off some of the angst.
Plus, there's something that always consoles me now ...

... the woman in the window ...

[Donica]

That's what we see girl!!! Window or not!!! She looks really cute doesn't she!

[Faith]

I've found that the upstairs women's room here has a full length mirror. I tend to avoid that one to avoid discomfort, mine and any others that may experience it. It's easy enough to go downstairs to the unisex (despite the nasty men that can't clean up after themselves).

Back on point

I can take full length photos. I took one this morning (3 actually) with the intention of posting them. I just can't. Sorry. There was no forgiveness in that lighting this morning.

I could blur my face into unrecognizability ..

[Faith]

Today I feel invisible.

Picture the world as a running stream of water A river smoothly flowing, swirling around certain points to say HI before again moving along it's way. I feel like the leaf that falls on the water. Drifting here and there, spun around, pushed this way and that, ignored by the water as it moves on to it's next point to swirl around.

No swirls for me.

[sarah1972]

Oh, no Faith! You are very much visible! When you fell into the water, there was a splash and then little waves formed around you moving over the water.

One day you are a rock, one day you are a leaf. No worries, you will be a rock again!

Hugs,

Sarah

Today I feel invisible.

Picture the world as a running stream of water A river smoothly flowing, swirling around certain points to say HI before again moving along it's way. I feel like the leaf that falls on the water. Drifting here and there, spun around, pushed this way and that, ignored by the water as it moves on to it's next point to swirl around.

No swirls for me.