Yesterday. Well, as some of you know, yesterday was real bad for dysphoria. I could not look at glimpses, reflections, no images of any kind. Even just sitting and letting my mind drift depressed me more. Things are just
wrong! No magic, no money, stuck. All I could do was distract myself which didn't last long. When I arrived home I saw Lori sitting at the sewing machine. My mood immediately lifted. I felt good. No I still couldn't look at myself or think about it yet it no longer eat at me. My mood definitely changed for the better.
Lori received word that our granddaughter (6) needed picked up from school so away we go. After we got to the school, she climbed into the car whereupon I immediately asked her who she was. She can't be my granddaughter the hair is all wrong. I proceeded to get informed of who she is, quite firmly. BTW, she got her hair dyed .. some intense florescent pink
I don't know where kids get these ideas from
.
We get her home to discover that our grandson (14) is at the mall with no ride home. Ok, time to go to the mall. NO! he's not ready. Too late, we're on the way. To give him more time we planned on wandering a bit. First priority was the restroom .. which was uneventful. Well, there was an event - I just don't think you need to hear bodily function details.
As we're walking back down the hallway from the restroom Lori points out a little white dog, cute, I have no idea of the breed. The dog was accompanied by an older lady, a bit older than me - mid to late 60's as a guess. Anyways, this lady is looking at me. Well, having my wits about me and remembering all those suggestions here on Susan's to disarm anyone staring with a big smile, I looked her straight in the eye and gave her the best smile I could come up with. I'm pretty sure it was not a terminator grimace (anyone seen that where he tries to smile? *
shudder*). She smiled back and we kept going.
Rather than wander we decided to eat .. well, I did at least. Sitting there eating .. holy cow? how much did they think I could eat? They really piled it on - I didn't finish it! .. I digress ... sitting there eating our grandson comes walking up. Lori takes him to get something to eat (pizza, of course). So, I'm sitting there alone quietly eating.
I wasn't really looking around, peripheral vision showed shadows moving by, then one stopped and I hear, "You are very attractive". It didn't register right away, enough that I turned to look. There was that same lady in a wheelchair smiling at me. She repeated herself, "You are very attractive", still smiling. Well, I was a bit dumbfounded, I did mange to smile back and say thank you .. as she rolled away.
did it make me feel good, you betcha. Still, I wonder, does she have cataracts? I mean, something has to explain it. Maybe a stroke? Her speech pattern was indicative of a stroke and would give explanation to the wheelchair as well.
All in all, the afternoon/evening was much better than the day.
