Hello all it's Slater. I've been very busy since the last time and I want to share whats been going on.
This year has been interesting in some ways and a major disappointment in others.
I had plans to attend college this fall and recieved an unconditional by I school I fought hard to get with, interview, etc. I discovered to my dismay that I would a cosigner for a loan to to attend abroad. I have no one in my life who would that for me. I did ask I my family and they completely shot that and me down. Suffice to say, among many things, they longer in my life and I am stress free, depression, and stable mentally again. But going to college has now taken off the table and Im no longer sure how I will manage my dream of studying and settling abroad.
I also finally started testosterone in May. I had no luck whatsoever with University of Michigan. Its not the staff, but the rules they follow, that are limiting. I went for top surgery consult and was denied and recieved a side comment of ' in case I change my mind'. I was actually quite hurt, but testosterone has me able to take it on the chin in the moment, so I handled the emotion later. Also due to the size of my chest which when last measure 36 nnn, the ligaments at the sternum have pulled from the chest wall and ar not anchored. This he said was not something he would operate on, only around as best as possible. I was no longer confident in his ability. I shook hands and I left with no intention of returning.
In May on the 22nd, I recieved a vaccination for mumps with the intention of still hoping to find a way to attend that school. I was given the full MMR shot, even though my original primary did a titre and found the other levels to be fine. Within a few days, on the 24th, I went to a local clinic for informed consent hrt. I requested a low dose to see how I handled mentally, and the doctor's treatment is always to start at half and move up or down depending on labs.
Here is where the fun begins. The MMR shot was starting to hurt deep in the muscle towards the end of the week. It made hard to to lift my arm at times, but I ignored it since I figured thats how the vaccine works. Within two weeks, my mood naturally stabilised and not as a placebo. I could focus, persevere and overtime my anxiety would reduce, unless my family was goading my weakness for their pleasure.
In late July, my cycle finally stopped. I also had a thyroid scare before i started hrt and the moment i did start, my thyroid issues disappeared. My iron levels and other minerals were rebalancing, since I stopped menstruating, but symptoms were occuring. I deal with slight urinary incontinence with no cause, hemmorhoid that came out of nowhere and causes slight leaking and some blood. I have the urge to go 2 more often. At some point the shoulder issue was starting to get worse and now I deal with partial numbness and pain in my finger and thumb on the right side only. My feet have also started lossing sensation and between Mid September and mid October I had swelling in both legs and a sprain right ankle.
That period was when my family kicked me out and I was homeless. I had a job, so i was from one city to another to get there. My workmates and managers were made aware and have been nothing but helpful, respectful and encouraging. I mostly walked back and forth to places that could help and would often be late walking back to work at the end of the day. My feet have not been the same sense, but the swelling is gone.
At the point I will be going for an MRI on two areas of the spine to figure out if this is the cause of the shoulder and feet issues. I also suspect the muscle growth is not helping. I considered whether I would be willing to stop hrt due to health reasons, and after all Ive been through in my life thus far, that answer is a solid no. I will go on as many years as possible as me myself and no one else.
