Hey, I'm Emma. Scared to come out.

[EmmaGoldman]

Hey, Finally bit the bullet and joined here after lurking for so long.

I'm a pre everything, still closeted    19 year old. I have no idea how I plan to transition yet but I'm currently at university and accepted a few months ago that the way I feel isn't going to go away and that I can't just live with it. Decided it would be nice to talk to some sisters on here since I'm not sure if there are even any in my university's lgbt club and I worry about outing myself by joining them. As far as actually coming out is concerned

My parents have never struck me as transphobes, maybe a little ignorant on the topic, but I worry that they may take it badly as when I came to my parents about having constant anxiety some years ago (realise it was dysphoria now) they pretty much just tried to dismiss it, probably because my mother has had mental health issues and they can't bare the thought that I do too.

My best friend from highschool would probably accept me, but I don't think it would be fair to tell him and not let him discuss it with others so I won't tell him until I'm telling others.

I was hoping that I could just transition at uni, or at least come out to my roommates as two are bib and I've know them all for almost two years now and we get along. It was kind of naive of me to assume that all light people are accepting though as one shares a lot of bigoted stuff so I'm pretty scared how they would take it  . Also I study computer science and there's a definite culture of hate amongst many people and my friends on the course.

Anyway I've probably over shared too much for a first post   , hope to meet some nice people on this forum and hopefully get courage to show people the real me. Curious if there's any uni people (I'm from the UK btw) or people my age here?

Thanks for reading, if you had the patience 

[DawnOday]

Family and Friends
An open letter to parents of transsexual children
An open letter to the parents of transsexual children No. 2
My son, my daughter
Transsexualism - Information for the family
Telling your parents
Telling your parents - Part II
and More...

You will find these resources on the wiki above.

[V M]

Hi Emma 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along


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Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	Cautionary Note	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Hugs

V M

[Laurie]

 Hi Emma,

  I'm Laurie, mtf, and just a wee bit older than you are. Oh okay, I'm way older than you are. I am 65 and I have been transitioning just short of a year now at the young age of 64. One thing I can tell you is that coming out is hard and scary no matter what age you do it. The fear and risks can be great as we never really know how someone is going to take the news. Some will share your joy at finding out who you really are and others just will not be able to accept it. In general I would say I've seen more report of coming out to friends and family that have gone well than I have seen not go well. I have experienced both and the one I most wanted to go well didn't and it has caused me problems.
  You mentioned you mother had had some mental problem and that you think that could be of concern for your family. When you do come out to them at home you will want to be prepared to emphasize that being transgender is not a mental disorder. It is a condition where a person's mind is that of one gender and the body is another and is causes problems by being in conflict with each other. The condition is called gender dysphoria. Yes it take a therapist to confirm that you have this condition so talking with one is highly recommended, preferably a gender therapist. They can help you figure things out and help you decide what your path should be.
   Because you are new here I would like to welcome you to Susan's Place and invite you in to have a good look around. I'll add some links and information below that can help you get more out of our site. Please take time to become familiar with them especially the RED one as we are always getting questions that are answered there.

Laurie
Global Moderator
Laurie@susans.org

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	Cautionary Note	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

[Dani]

Emma,

Transition is not easy. Many of us held off on transiting because of the very same reasons you mentioned.  Fear of what would happen in the future is the biggest reason for delaying or even not transitioning.

Transitioning to a different sex is not to be taken lightly. Be aware of the consequences such as social stigma, financial costs and future medical concerns. Many of us here felt compelled to transition. We are different from most people and we accept that. Accepting yourself is the single most important thing you can do now.