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Staring, not sure what to write or ask

Started by RachelH, November 26, 2017, 04:53:38 PM

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RachelH

Hi everyone,
This is more of a general question rather than looking for an answer from someone to help me, if that make sense.  I am on here almost daily.  I read a lot and comment a little but so often, I just want to say "something" but I am really just not sure what to say, ask or comment.  I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is a safe place but that is really not the point.  I am not sure what my point is really.  I...see, and as I am typing this nothing really seems to come but I feel compelled to type SOMETHING but not sure what.  Am I just crazy or does anyone else go through this as well?
Thanks!
Paula
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Dena

Words don't always flow for me so I will toss threads back in the heap for latter consideration. To some degree this site is like seeing a therapist where you are presented with new ideas that you have never considered. You don't have to respond to everything you read but hopefully it will provoke thoughts that you have never considered.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
If you are helped by this site, consider leaving a tip in the jar at the bottom of the page or become a subscriber
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Laurie

Hi Paula,

  If you've been hanging around you'll know I'm rarely at a loss for something to say. It's been a little  harder of late because I feel I need to watch what I say, But if I can make a suggestion, start with comments on other threads you are reading. Let yourself become known to us and you will begin to feel a bit more comfortable yourself. Before you know it you'll be  commenting, asking questions, telling us what  you are feeling and you'll be an active part in the community.
  I must say I wondered who this Paula was that chided me for a crappy comment I made because I didn't remember your name. You can change all that and you have already made a start at it here.

Hugs,
   Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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HappyMoni

You can start by updating us. Are you still where you were 6 months, a year ago?
Moni
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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RachelH

Not sure Moni, as crazy as that sounds.  I've not moved forward with anything if that is what you are asking but still questioning lots.
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tgirlamg

Hey Paula!

I often want to offer words but, if what I want to communicate is not coming together in a cohesive manner, I often let it simmer in my mind and go back to it in an hour or two and often find what I want to say flowing out of me a bit more..

Sometimes on here, posters aren't expecting a solution to their current dilemma...they just need to know someone hears them and maybe understands a bit what they are feeling... That alone can work miracles sometimes!

Hugs!!!

A 😀💗🌻
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻
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Artesia

Quote from: tgirlamc on November 27, 2017, 09:56:24 PM
Hey Paula!

I often want to offer words but, if what I want to communicate is not coming together in a cohesive manner, I often let it simmer in my mind and go back to it in an hour or two and often find what I want to say flowing out of me a bit more..

Sometimes on here, posters aren't expecting a solution to their current dilemma...they just need to know someone hears them and maybe understands a bit what they are feeling... That alone can work miracles sometimes!

Hugs!!!

A 😀💗🌻

For me, quite often, someone has already said what it was that I wanted to say.  Then I typically wouldn't respond at all.  I'm pretty shy, even through a keyboard.  I'm getting better about communicating though; thanks to Susan's Place and my college writing courses.  I have had several instances where I went to type something, then deleted it, because I felt it might not work so well.
All the worlds a joke, and the people, merely punchlines

September 13, 2016 HRT start date
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Sarah_P

I've been so shy most of my life, even online! Even when I'm posting anonymously on sites I'd worry about upsetting people or looking like a fool. Like Artesia, so often someone else has already said (usually far more eloquently) what I would have said, so I don't bother. Just posting 'Yeah, I agree with this' sometimes feels silly (but it's really not).
I've started so many posts & replies, then decided it sounded terrible & cancelled them, that my post count would be at least 2x larger (if not 3x) if I had gone through with them.
I'm getting better about it, because I've realized that even little things like congratulating someone's achievements or good fortune helps them a great deal. Maybe it even helps those who are reaching for those same achievements (wait, did I start talking about video games?).
I started my own diary thread, and while I generally only post to it once a week, it's been very good for me to post how I'm feeling or what I've been doing. You might try doing that yourself!
--Sarah P

There's a world out there, just waiting
If you only let go what's inside
Live every moment, give it your all, enjoy the ride
- Stan Bush, The Journey



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SueNZ

Quote from: PaulaLee on November 26, 2017, 04:53:38 PM
Hi everyone,
This is more of a general question rather than looking for an answer from someone to help me, if that make sense.  I am on here almost daily.  I read a lot and comment a little but so often, I just want to say "something" but I am really just not sure what to say, ask or comment.  I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is a safe place but that is really not the point.  I am not sure what my point is really.  I...see, and as I am typing this nothing really seems to come but I feel compelled to type SOMETHING but not sure what.  Am I just crazy or does anyone else go through this as well?
Thanks!
Paula
Hi Paula,
I visit here quite often to see what is been talked about and how everyone is doing. I am not an avid poster or comment frequently. If others have voiced my thoughts as I would have then I leave it there. Sometimes I do feel the need to comment like now. Just because we do not comment or post does not mean we care or are not helping. To me it is the quality not quantity that is important.
I know you are not after answers so I just thought I would chuck my thoughts on here for you to have a quick ponder over.
Cheers
Sue
Treat life's difficult times as if they are normal moments, this makes the normal and special ones even more fantastic.
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HappyMoni

Quote from: PaulaLee on November 26, 2017, 07:58:56 PM
Not sure Moni, as crazy as that sounds.  I've not moved forward with anything if that is what you are asking but still questioning lots.
Well, I miss talking with you more regularly for one thing. I think I understand a bit of what you are saying. Coming on Susan's sometimes, I feel like I want to say something very strongly, but I am not sure what it is I want to say. Some times I just need a connection with people like me and I don't need to talk. Some people on here get help with making life decisions related to their gender. I am not at that stage mostly now. I do kind of want to be a part of this though. I think having gender issues is like having an itch. Sometimes there is no way to scratch it and the best you can do is know others are itching too.
Moni
Hugs Girl
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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Katie V

Paula,

I totally understand what you're talking about.  I just looked at my profile and saw that I've been on this site for exactly five years today.  And I think this is post number 5 for me.  Sooo...  One post a year...  Eh.. lol

I like seeing how others are doing and feel a connection with them but I feel out of my depth when talking about transitioning.  I think about it everyday but due to a lot of factors, I haven't been able to take the step. 

But hey, this is two posts in one day.  Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf!
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Roll

Try participating in some of the more casual threads such as in the cooking or entertainment forums. Some are pretty active, and you can build up confidence in interacting with people in a thread you are expected to just post random stuff and no one expects great insight about anything but chili recipes.
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
2/27/19 - Name Change!

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sf_erika

There's nothing wrong with that.  I also tend to read a lot more on this site than I actually post (I'm sure there are many like you - probably many who don't post at all).  Online and offline I tend to be the kind of person who prefers to listen than to comment.   And I definitely get a lot out of listening to everyone's experiences on this forum.


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