Susan's Place Logo

News:

Visit our Discord server  and Wiki

Main Menu

A totally awesome day

Started by krobinson103, November 30, 2017, 10:36:55 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

krobinson103

Got up and the world felt great. Got to work and it sll went well. Looking down at my shirt I thought hmmm... things are a bit obvious - maybe I need a bra. Then halfway through the day I realized the jeans I had on felt horrible They were my favourite 8 months ago. I figured it out though. They are simply the wrong shape.

Looking at these things and the mirror I had to sdmit that it was high time I told my supervisor as it was a bit obvious. Did that and She was totally supportive. Feeling brave (and uncomfortable in my clothe) I bought my first sports bra and female jeans. Not knowing the sizes i asked the women in the shop for some info and was asked 'what style does she like?' I assume refering to my wife. I was brave enough to say no... they are for me, and please explain bra sizes - I have no idea how they work.

She did. So I try on my jeans and perfect fit love how it looks. Drop some more belly fat and things will be great.. Sooo much more comfortable. No more male jeans or shorts for me. No more baggy clothes either.  Life rocks. I love being me.
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.
  •  

tgirlamg

Awesome!!! You're positive outlook will carry you far in the amazing process to come! Enjoy every moment!!! 😀

Onward we go!!!

Ashley 😀❤️🌻
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻
  •  

Megan.

A lovely piece of acceptance and progress, thank you for sharing. Coming out at work and doing those first shops can be big steps,  congratulations. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

  •  

steph2.0

Fantastic, Kelly! So many steps forward in one day! It shows how courage springs from total self acceptance, and how people react to that positive energy. I'm in a similar place right now as I make a road trip through the heart of redneck America with zero boy clothes in the suitcase. I'm also having the time of my life. So, warm congratulations. You're on your way!

Steph


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
  •  

KathyLauren

Quote from: krobinson103 on November 30, 2017, 10:36:55 PMDid that
...<snip>...
I was brave enough to say no...
...<snip>...
I love being me.
I love your understated courage!  :D  With your positive attitude, you are going to rock your transition.  Allow me to add my congratulations!
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
  •  

krobinson103

I think the shop assistant was a little surprised. Way I figure it, what am I hiding from? If I can't accept being me in a place I want to be, then I need a bit more courage. Now today I'm going to go to the Doctors and begin the process of getting some real HRT.  If I can get this far with herbals, food, and visualization then its exciting to see what happens with that.

The real challenge will be in three weeks when my wife and daughters return from a long 2 month holiday overseas as the changes have errr... accelerated beyond what I thought was possible. A few months ago they remarked on breast buds, this is so much more. I think its down to being chronically low on T for so long that my body will respond to phytoestrogens enthusiastically. That and the fact I was and am still a little overweight so the fat is there to redistribute - oh my it has. I have so much more energy now, but its calmer. I tend to think more and all the anger / frustration has left the building. Haven't physically seen extended family for more than a year either. This xmas will be interesting.

Its nice to wake up and see and feel yourself as you know you should have been. Been walking around pinching myself  as it seems so much like an awesome dream, but its very real. I think the most interesting thing has been the change in physical strength. I go to pick something up and my body reminds me that it won't lift a fridge so easily anymore!

I do think I'll have to change my passport photo and gender though. I can't see me getting a plane with what it says. Fortunately in New Zealand its relatively easy without changing other documentation.
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.
  •  

Floof

What an awesome read, I love your bravery and positive outlook! Hold on to that spring in your step for as long as you can, and keep on looking forward!
Reisen er lang, hard og full av farer; vær modig mine brødre og søstre <3




SRS w/ Dr. Chet May 12th 2017
  •  

Denise

Quote from: krobinson103 on December 01, 2017, 09:40:09 AM
...all you've said here...

After I came out en-masse to my company (14,000 people potentially, a few hundred in reality) I received a lot of "congratulations", "you are so _______" (Brave, courageous ...) and my first reaction to reading your post here was "wow gutsy" but then I thought, no, after all, "NOBODY CARES"! Especially sales clerks (99% of the time) They just see a sale.  And the really smart ones realize if I treat this client nicely, they will definitely be back.

SO, with that in mind, I would like to congratulate you on what I believe to be the perfect attitude that will make your transition easier.

Good luck with your wife and kids.  Keep us up to date.

- Denise.
1st Person out: 16-Oct-2015
Restarted Spironolactone 26-Aug-2016
Restarted Estradiol Valerate: 02-Nov-2016
Full time: 02-Mar-2017
Breast Augmentation (Schechter): 31-Oct-2017
FFS (Walton in Chicago): 25-Sep-2018
Vaginoplasty (Schechter): 13-Dec-2018









A haiku in honor of my grandmother who loved them.

The Voices are Gone
Living Life to the Fullest
I am just Denise
  •  

krobinson103

#8
Thanks. That happens in three weeks. Talked to my sister yesterday. She wasn't surprised. People at my favouriye hobby airsoft are looking at me different as well. Even with all that military gear on, a guy I've known for a while hit on me. I told him he might get more than he expected :) Weight keeps coming off at 1kg a day and for the first time in a long time I have energy. Lots of it. Dyed my hair to get rid of the grey as well. I just wish it would grow longer. I've been called a girl with just long hair in past alone when I was slim. Naturally androgynous body type to begin with.

Doctors appointment for bloods and referral to a specialist so I can hrt scripts and not research everything I eat on Monday. That will get tiresome! Bras a pain, but necessary now. I really don't want to conceal anything! Also found some underwear that actually fit without being loose, or binding. You don't think about these things, but all my clothes are 2 sizes too big, and fit horribly now. Thing is, women generally aren't six foot, with a large skeleton so sizing gets... interesting. I'll need to stay somewhat 'heavy' for things to look right. Strangely my enough my feet have shrunk a size or two. Not sure how that is possible with  changing hormone balances but it is. I think it might be the tendons as my foot arches a little more than it used to.

Stuggling a bit with the strength difference. We move around large tubs of water for water play at school, its very noticable. Still, its a package deal and worth it to feel fabulous.
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.
  •  

jessica95

Quote from: krobinson103 on November 30, 2017, 10:36:55 PM
Got up and the world felt great. Got to work and it sll went well. Looking down at my shirt I thought hmmm... things are a bit obvious - maybe I need a bra. Then halfway through the day I realized the jeans I had on felt horrible They were my favourite 8 months ago. I figured it out though. They are simply the wrong shape.

Looking at these things and the mirror I had to sdmit that it was high time I told my supervisor as it was a bit obvious. Did that and She was totally supportive. Feeling brave (and uncomfortable in my clothe) I bought my first sports bra and female jeans. Not knowing the sizes i asked the women in the shop for some info and was asked 'what style does she like?' I assume refering to my wife. I was brave enough to say no... they are for me, and please explain bra sizes - I have no idea how they work.

She did. So I try on my jeans and perfect fit love how it looks. Drop some more belly fat and things will be great.. Sooo much more comfortable. No more male jeans or shorts for me. No more baggy clothes either.  Life rocks. I love being me.
Good News, good you did that. I support you.
  •  

krobinson103

Well its an even better day. Talked to the GP. GP says he has issues with providing hrt as long the initial blood screen is good, and the family knows. Off I go to the lab tomorrow. Will save the the talk till after christmas. New year, new start. :) Hopefully with family on board, however its a bit late now so on we go. GP was amazed at how much I acheived simply with a targeted diet and naturally low T. Heialth was A ok, blood pressure and heart rate good. I knew my body was telling me something. People keep telling me how fit and healthy I look.
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.
  •  

krobinson103

Wow. Went to the supermarket and forgot a bag at the self checkout. Wearing skinny jeans and a relatively boring top for work that is somewhat concealing. Walking towards home somewhat down in the dumps and hear "excuse me ma'am." Not being used to such a thing I keep walking. Hear it again and a store assistant gives me my bag. I thank her.

Walking home I thinking did I just pass? Wow. Must be working.
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.
  •  

tgirlamg

Bask in the glow sister!!!!! 😀
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻
  •  

krobinson103

Another few achievements. Everyone at work is accepting now so I can be happy there  and not worry about too much. Bloods came out great everything normal with slightly high cholesterol and protein levels (protein is diet related), I'll be able to go on HRT when I want to, got an appointment for next week to give the doc the green light. Went down another 2kg this week and went down another size (18-16).

I was shopping today and was waiting in line and a women turns around we chat for 3-4 minutes. She never realizes once. Had to concentrate super hard are not letting the voice give it away who though. Found a co-worker who is willing to help me with info I don't have (err... lots of it). Its all very well seeing and feeling changes, but as they get bigger so does the sense that you are diving into the deep end with lead weights on!


Still have the absolute conviction that what I am doing is right and necessary, but a few thoughts sneak in about the storm about to hit this xmas and the hurt it will cause to my wife and family. Life is still awesome, gets better everyday, but some dark clouds wait just around the corner... hope we all come out the other side ok.
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.
  •  

krobinson103

Well, today I put on summer weight clothes, and meet a friend at the mall. I was feeling horribly self doubting (I never feel self doubt - that must stop!) but She helped me to get a bra measurement - 18 c/d which isn't too bad. Sadly there is no such bra with straps that are long enough that don't have cups that are too big so crop tops and sports bras will have to do until we get some more growing happening - which I can feel in the back ground so we'll see. Looking at my shadow I don't recognize it today and as I walked in public no one really paid any attention things are getting a bit more comfortable.

Asked the lady at the makeup counter for some foundation that was the right colour (expensive!) and that helps with the beard that would need shaving twice a day to be invisible otherwise. Feeling braver. That must be good.
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.
  •  

tgirlamg

Quote from: krobinson103 on December 08, 2017, 04:36:06 PM
Well, today I put on summer weight clothes, and meet a friend at the mall. I was feeling horribly self doubting (I never feel self doubt - that must stop!) but She helped me to get a bra measurement - 18 c/d which isn't too bad. Sadly there is no such bra with straps that are long enough that don't have cups that are too big so crop tops and sports bras will have to do until we get some more growing happening - which I can feel in the back ground so we'll see. Looking at my shadow I don't recognize it today and as I walked in public no one really paid any attention things are getting a bit more comfortable.

Asked the lady at the makeup counter for some foundation that was the right colour (expensive!) and that helps with the beard that would need shaving twice a day to be invisible otherwise. Feeling braver. That must be good.

That is good indeed my friend!!!  A brave and bold spirit, ready to meet the challenges ahead while enjoying the many unexpected discoveries will take you far on this road... enjoy each day as you make your life finally, your own...

Hugs

A 😀❤️
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻
  •  

krobinson103

Today was interesting. really noticed a lack of stamina. Had to go home halfway through my favorite hobby because I had nothing left. I felt fitter and lighter (because I am) but the stamina doesn't seem to be there as much as it used to be. Today however is not important. Tomorrow is risk burning all bridges and tell my wife day. I must because if I don't I can't go forward and not doing this will literally drive me crazy. Its like a genie that won't go back into the bottle.

Tomorrow I must tell her what is happening, what is likely to happen, explain I love her and the kids and want to support them as usual, and ask her to come home on time on condition she can leave if and when She feels She needs to. Is it fair on Women who has moved continents to be with me here? No.  I know there is a very large risk She simply doesn't get on the plane home and I don't see her or the kids again for a very long time. We end up divorced and have to sell the family home we spent a long time finding. A risk worth taking I think because She must know in an environment were She can seek her family and friends for support and guidance. Its the only fair and ethical thing to do.

Also I can't do this by myself. I can't seem to bring focus to my thoughts as clearly as I used to be able to. Justifications that seemed so clear take on different shades, and emotions have become stronger and more insistent. I arranged counseling etc but this is less a change than a paradigm shift into a dimension I know little about.

I hate rocks and hard places. However, today is STILL a good day, and I have faith that tomorrow will be an even better one.
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.
  •  

tgirlamg

Quote from: krobinson103 on December 09, 2017, 08:07:58 PM
Today was interesting. really noticed a lack of stamina. Had to go home halfway through my favorite hobby because I had nothing left. I felt fitter and lighter (because I am) but the stamina doesn't seem to be there as much as it used to be. Today however is not important. Tomorrow is risk burning all bridges and tell my wife day. I must because if I don't I can't go forward and not doing this will literally drive me crazy. Its like a genie that won't go back into the bottle.

Tomorrow I must tell her what is happening, what is likely to happen, explain I love her and the kids and want to support them as usual, and ask her to come home on time on condition she can leave if and when She feels She needs to. Is it fair on Women who has moved continents to be with me here? No.  I know there is a very large risk She simply doesn't get on the plane home and I don't see her or the kids again for a very long time. We end up divorced and have to sell the family home we spent a long time finding. A risk worth taking I think because She must know in an environment were She can seek her family and friends for support and guidance. Its the only fair and ethical thing to do.

Also I can't do this by myself. I can't seem to bring focus to my thoughts as clearly as I used to be able to. Justifications that seemed so clear take on different shades, and emotions have become stronger and more insistent. I arranged counseling etc but this is less a change than a paradigm shift into a dimension I know little about.

I hate rocks and hard places. However, today is STILL a good day, and I have faith that tomorrow will be an even better one.

Hey Sister...

I will be holding good thoughts in my heart for your talk with your wife going well... As I have noted before... Your approach and attitude are clear headed and decisive...you will reach the promised land... The proper attitude and perspective in this journey will carry you far and allow you to bypass many of the quagmires that can slow many down along their journey...

A time of great change is at hand... The way you relate to those closest to you and the world around you will change but you will navigate the changes ... Relationships will adapt... You will adapt... In the end.. You will be standing on the foundation of a life that is your own and you can build anything you want upon that foundation.... Your life will become one of possibilities never available before...

Know that you have support here on the hard days and sisters to help you celebrate the days of great victories!!!

I hear you on the stamina stuff... When I was losing muscle in my first year of HRT, I could definitely feel the lose of muscle ...both at my work as well as out in the ocean surfing...my favorite hobby!

All will be well though and we adapt quickly to our new physical realities!

Wishing you all good things in the days to come and please don't hesitate to PM me if I can ever be of help along the way...

Onward we go brave sister!!!

Ashley 😀❤️🌻

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻
  •  

krobinson103

Quote from: tgirlamc on December 09, 2017, 10:00:01 PM
Hey Sister...

I will be holding good thoughts in my heart for your talk with your wife going well... As I have noted before... Your approach and attitude are clear headed and decisive...you will reach the promised land... The proper attitude and perspective in this journey will carry you far and allow you to bypass many of the quagmires that can slow many down along their journey...

A time of great change is at hand... The way you relate to those closest to you and the world around you will change but you will navigate the changes ... Relationships will adapt... You will adapt... In the end.. You will be standing on the foundation of a life that is your own and you can build anything you want upon that foundation.... Your life will become one of possibilities never available before...

Know that you have support here on the hard days and sisters to help you celebrate the days of great victories!!!

I hear you on the stamina stuff... When I was losing muscle in my first year of HRT, I could definitely feel the lose of muscle ...both at my work as well as out in the ocean surfing...my favorite hobby!

All will be well though and we adapt quickly to our new physical realities!

Wishing you all good things in the days to come and please don't hesitate to PM me if I can ever be of help along the way...

Onward we go brave sister!!!

Ashley 😀❤️🌻

Thanks for the words of support. Fear and doubt and something I have little experience with. They were kept in a little box with a 'do not open' along with all those other pesky things called emotions. Truly feeling things is a little, off putting!
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.
  •  

tgirlamg

Quote from: krobinson103 on December 09, 2017, 10:25:19 PM
Thanks for the words of support. Fear and doubt and something I have little experience with. They were kept in a little box with a 'do not open' along with all those other pesky things called emotions. Truly feeling things is a little, off putting!

Feeling that stuff is the very stuff of life!... To me, it is what living life really feels like...It is a bit of a rollercoaster but the reason people ride rollercoasters is to feel really alive!!!

Keep doing what you're doing and... you'll get where you're going!

A😀❤️🌻
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻
  •