A totally awesome day

[xAmyX]

I went downstairs and my niece thought I was a zombie, because I was walking funny. I started walking towards her like a zombie, and she was smiling like crazy. Then she was like Ame! Come look at this! Then grabbed her Peppa Pig stamp kit, and placed the characters in the ink, and stamped them on paper. I was like so cool! She also made Peppa Pig out of Play-Doh. XD Kids instinctively love me. Probably because I can communicate with them at their level, and be imaginative.

[krobinson103]

Talk about swings and roundabouts. This morning we talking divorce, then we went shopping and spent three hours looking at clothes etc, got her some nice perfume for xmas. The crisis seems to be past, but I predict there are many more to come...

[xAmyX]

That's good! Keep on communicating with each other, and find a way to reason. We must remember to respect others in a way that doesn't remove respect of ourselves, and I think you're onto it! 

[Laurie]

Hi k,

  This time is so hard on both parties and can be for the kids depending on how things go between you and your wife. I have to agree with Amy in that communication is going to be the key to getting through this difficult time. You both are likely to be highly emotional and that oft times leads to more problems though being empathetic to each other's emotions can be just what the situation calls for.
  Keep those good options open and the lines of communicate flowing.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[krobinson103]

Hi k,

  This time is so hard on both parties and can be for the kids depending on how things go between you and your wife. I have to agree with Amy in that communication is going to be the key to getting through this difficult time. You both are likely to be highly emotional and that oft times leads to more problems though being empathetic to each other's emotions can be just what the situation calls for.
  Keep those good options open and the lines of communicate flowing.

Hugs,
  Laurie

A good day. More open communication lines and a nice walk with just the two of us. We now agree on eating / exercising patterns and She is more open to me wearing comfortable clothes at home. Still insists on male clothes in the community but I suspect with more time this will also change.

Today we are definately making progress.

[xAmyX]

One of the greatest keys to success is keeping your eyes on your goals, and make them happen! Absolute control baby! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Put on them girl clothes, and walk around with pride! She may fall in greater love from that surge of confidence! Of course, don't be mean about it! Be happy. Be you. Be the person you're meant to be. Then everything else comes free. With your weewee, in them panties! Oh baby, look at how she watches you flee across that grass, soon enough, her resentment will no longer last, as it becomes a blast to the past, by that surge of confidence shaking your @$$. 

[krobinson103]

Christmas went pretty well. Less traumatic in terms of traveling than the last few. One thing I do notice is that
the people closest to you are the least likely to notice or mention anything. Not that I made it obvious or anything as I wanted a nice quiet happy xmas and thats pretty much what we got.

Here's hoping the new year goes as smoothly. By some miracle I managed to keep losing weight over xmas so the goal of 95kg by March is well in view. Get rid of the stuff around the middle and I'll be much happier.

[xAmyX]

That's good. I've yet to have a single person be mean to me for being trans. One of the benefits of being in an area that is very LGBTQ+ protective. Everyone has been good to me since I've come out. I've had people be mean to me for other reasons, like being smart. Thus is the encumbrance of the cerebral ignition through external envious entities whom pride on being selectively ignorant against all odds of cognitive ascension.

[Allison S]

One of the greatest keys to success is keeping your eyes on your goals, and make them happen! Absolute control baby! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Put on them girl clothes, and walk around with pride! She may fall in greater love from that surge of confidence! Of course, don't be mean about it! Be happy. Be you. Be the person you're meant to be. Then everything else comes free. With your weewee, in them panties! Oh baby, look at how she watches you flee across that grass, soon enough, her resentment will no longer last, as it becomes a blast to the past, by that surge of confidence shaking your @$$. 

Lol that's so funny! Reminds me (only slightly) of when my father had yelled at the entire time in the car going home and then my sister joined in. They knew I was moving out. While they were still going on with their nonsense I was in my room with the door open (can see inside room from living room) with my radio playing music while I was dancing and packing my clothes lol

I know it was silly but it helped me not lash out even more at them and I was doing what I needed to do at the same time!

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[steph2.0]

Thus is the encumbrance of the cerebral ignition through external envious entities whom pride on being selectively ignorant against all odds of cognitive ascension.

Never use a big words when a diminutive selection would suffice. [emoji16]

- Stephanie

[Megan.]

Never use a big words when a diminutive selection would suffice. [emoji16]

- Stephanie

Word.

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[steph2.0]

Word.

🤣

Yup.

[krobinson103]

Lol. Big words are my stock and trade when it comes to keeping supervisors happy, and writing professional diaries (yuck!) . Bit different when teaching however.

I don't think mean is the word at the moment. Most people are supportive, but my family is getting a bit... sharp in their manner of communicating, and there is an undercurrent of tension. This of course is natural in that before you get acceptance you have a storming phase where people try and establish boundaries to make them comfortable. Coupled with my reduced ability to not react or ignore the sting of the words it gets a bit hard some days.

The pace of change seems to be increasing, so I can only expect that this tension will continue until something gives, or She can accept that this river is going to the sea and She might as well get on the raft. Hoping for the second, realistically I think the first is more likely. I'm pretty sure that given an amiable solution will be found somewhere down the road, but for now its a matter of batten down the hatches and ride it out.

[xAmyX]

"That oil slick we saw was just this big sticky mess in the water and streaks and smudges. It looked like an accident. This thing doesn't look like an accident, it looks like, it's on purpose."

Don't tip the raft!

[krobinson103]

Well things seem to be doing okay at the moment. We had an interesting discussion walking to the supermarket yesterday. She wants me to make things 'less visible' as She feels embarrassed to be in the company of anyone that looks less than 'normal'. I can understand in a way, but it makes me a bit angry that after 14 years together She still doesn't understand that I've never been 'normal' and never will. The constant efforts to make me change to be more like everyone else is tiring.

We are getting a bit closer and actually manage to get more intimacy going on than has been happening for a while. Its an interesting paradox. She is curious, but also ashamed. I think perhaps that my choice has made her question some assumptions about herself.

I'd like to meet her expectations, but at the same time I can't as the level of dysphoria would drive me around the bend. I think we both want to stay together, but need to find a balance for both the expectations around transition and the pace. On the positive side, She has accepted that makeup will become necessary until I can get rid of facial hair and is being a bit more helpful.

Things are never easy. It would be so easy to give up, split, and both live the way we really want. I do feel however, that patience and empathy may actually lead to a better outcome.

[krobinson103]

We went kayaking and swimming today. For a while now I've avoided the water but I thought what the heck. Just put a t shirt and a slightly too large bikini top (which flattened things a bit) along with my ordinary swimming shorts. Was it a bit obvious? I think so. Do I care? Not a bit. Neither did anyone else. Another tick in the bucket list.

[krobinson103]

A friend from last stint at Uni dropped by a few days ago. She ended up working in the School my youngest attended last year. When we talked about transition She wasn't surprised. Felt that I was volatile a few years back. It makes sense that volitility is now gone since the underlying issue is being dealt with.

[xAmyX]

Remember to stay positive, and enjoy yourself. There's no reason to stress over something that is putting you on the right path to happiness. If doing so succumbs the sensory of the atmosphere around you, reassurance of your goals in life, and how happy you will be to reach them is a key point to focus on in turning that aura around into one that is genuinely good.

Do something special for your wife. Perhaps make a nice, hot bubble bath with some magnesium sulfate, and several drops of a really exotic essential oil and throw in some lotus petals to make it pretty. Light a few candles, and you can even make a playlist of some of her favorite tracks and have some of her beloved music playing.

Anything that shows you appreciate her is surely to lift her spirits! 💕

[krobinson103]

Today was my wife's birthday. We went to the foot spa and got her a pedicure while I took the kids for an ice cream. She enjoyed it, but considered the price more than its worth, that's my girl... frugal to the last. She also told one of her friends about my transition and so far all is good.

Been to the beach five times now to swim and kayak with obvious breast development visible and no one cares so its all good. Still need to dress gender neutral with minimal makeup etc to keep the wife happy, but gender neutral beats male and I can see some progress happening.

In a week I get to go back to the Doctor with some new blood test results and review the dosages (yay!) He started pretty low so things are a bit slower than I might prefer right now. Hopefully he doubles it so we can see some progress.

I've got some home laser devices arriving this week. Slower than a clinic, but I don't think we are going to justify 3 grand right now so I'll just have to get the hairs one at a time with patience and persistence. Perhaps it will make facial hair a bit less visible,  and for $150 that's totally worth it. In addition shaving often is getting painful so the sooner I don't need to the better! Wife is against makeup so concealing is causing more issues than its worth.

Overall things are good right now I can see slow but steady progress and that may the safest way to proceed anyway. It will be interesting what happens when I go back to work in 2 weeks.

[krobinson103]

A couple of hair removal solutions arrived today. A small home laser device that works pretty well.in heating up my dense facial hair. It remains to be seen how effective or permanent it is. The other is something I spotted. Little patches of really fine sand paper like material ' an old as seen on tv promotion. Works pretty well to smooth out the left over hair on my arms and legs after shaving making them feel smooth at least for a while. Hopefully updated spiro dosage will reduce that particular problem. It must work ok aa the laser can't find any hair to heat up after using it.