@ Krobinson: So sorry to hear about your apparently deteriorating family situation. In the back of your mind I suppose you have been concerned about a negative outcome to your transition. But, hang in there, it's not over until it is over.... for the sake of all of your family (and not just your wife), hang in there and try your best to make things works out.
Regarding the upcoming
"combined family outing with her friends" that you are planning to skip...
my thought might be
to go to the outing with self-confidence... you already know that your wife said she is embarrassed in front of her friends, so if you skip the event you will just be confirming that in her mind and in her friend's minds....
... if you do go, there is a chance that her friends may not have negative feelings about you and that may influence your wife to improve her relationship with you. A slim chance is better than no chance.
IMPORTANT..... you obviously must do what you think is best for everyone... I am just thinking out loud and rambling with my thought process.
Now, for a change of subject: Today is the
FIRST DAY of SPRING.... a time for
new life.
..... "time for new life"....Perhaps that is a good sign for all of those that are transitioning.
I would never know it was now Spring here... last night it got down to 4 deg F, now this morning it is 19 deg F and snowing, and later today it is suppose to go up to 26 deg F. (A heat wave here. LOL) I am definitely not breaking out my warmer clothes yet. Today I am wearing my newest and warmest Red Winter Coat as shown in my Avatar photo..... along with boots, gloves, warm hat, etc.
What is the weather situation for the First Day of Spring where you live?
Concluding my reply here, I trust that you can handle this delicate situation with your family and come up with an acceptable plan or compromise. I am looking forward to your next update... hopefully with better news about your family situation.
Best wishes as always,
Danielle