A totally awesome day

[krobinson103]

We're the opposite here. Moving into autumn still warm enough for short sleeves in Auckland though. Thanks for the perspective. I'm just not sure this a fight worth fighting anymore. Transition will happen and nothing - not even the family falling apart will stop that now. She has suggested family counseling so that may hold out some hope. If not I will distance myself from the whole sorry mess and we'll have to sort out something in terms of the kids.

[Cassi]

We're the opposite here. Moving into autumn still warm enough for short sleeves in Auckland though. Thanks for the perspective. I'm just not sure this a fight worth fighting anymore. Transition will happen and nothing - not even the family falling apart will stop that now. She has suggested family counseling so that may hold out some hope. If not I will distance myself from the whole sorry mess and we'll have to sort out something in terms of the kids.

Thank you and Sonja for the "Seekers"

[krobinson103]

On loneliness and obligations.

I have to be a Father to my Children. How do you do that when you don't actually look or feel like a Father? I love my kids and would do just about anything for them, but the more I transition the further away I get. My marriage was a bit of sham for years anyway so that falling apart was expected. We stick in for the kids, but is it really better? Bitterness and conflict every 4-5 days along with tension that never ends. That can't be good for them.

My six year old is desperately trying to get us back to 'normal' and it breaks my heart to see it. Daddy is a man. All Daddies are men. Mine must be as well. Mummy and Daddy live in the same room and don't fight. Mummy and Daddy love each other, not dislike each other.

Any relations or caring between my wife and I are gone. We are cordial and polite. I don't want cordial and polite. I want someone who appreciates me for me and I feel isolated and lonely.

[Northern Star Girl]

On loneliness and obligations.

I have to be a Father to my Children. How do you do that when you don't actually look or feel like a Father? I love my kids and would do just about anything for them, but the more I transition the further away I get. My marriage was a bit of sham for years anyway so that falling apart was expected. We stick in for the kids, but is it really better? Bitterness and conflict every 4-5 days along with tension that never ends. That can't be good for them.

My six year old is desperately trying to get us back to 'normal' and it breaks my heart to see it. Daddy is a man. All Daddies are men. Mine must be as well. Mummy and Daddy live in the same room and don't fight. Mummy and Daddy love each other, not dislike each other.

Any relations or caring between my wife and I are gone. We are cordial and polite. I don't want cordial and polite. I want someone who appreciates me for me and I feel isolated and lonely.

Krobinson:  Words are escaping me as to what to say.  Reading your update report made me very, very sad and I have no words to offer you other than for you to continue to try your best to handle the situation and come to some kind of amicable compromise and might I suggest that if you can see a counselor, either alone or with your wife that would certainly help.   I know from all of your posts that your family and kids are important to you... please don't give up.

Danielle

[krobinson103]

On other fronts...

I purchased a 16c (the shop went by dress size) underwire bra yesterday and, as i suspected I 90% fill it so the calculators are totally out. Actually having a bra that is the right size is way more comfortable! The fact that its a bit big allows for a pad or two to protect me from.. painful reminders that things are growing. Well that and looking a bit bigger can't hurt.

So, I think its not outside of the realms of possibility to naturally get to a d cup given time. At worst I will stop in the mid/high range of c and a padded bra will create the look I want.

[Cassi]

On other fronts...

I purchased a 16c (the shop went by dress size) underwire bra yesterday and, as i suspected I 90% fill it so the calculators are totally out. Actually having a bra that is the right size is way more comfortable! The fact that its a bit big allows for a pad or two to protect me from.. painful reminders that things are growing. Well that and looking a bit bigger can't hurt.

So, I think its not outside of the realms of possibility to naturally get to a d cup given time. At worst I will stop in the mid/high range of c and a padded bra will create the look I want.

You're making us "Twiggys" jealous!  Good for you!

[mm]

krobinson103, yes you getting to the size where the underwire style will give you more support and feel better overall. Just part of a larger frame girl.

[KathyLauren]

We stick in for the kids, but is it really better?

It is not always better.  My parents stuck it out "for the kids".  They shouldn't have.  Parents splitting up is traumatic for kids at any age.  But it is probably harder on them when it happens later, than if it happened sooner.  I was 16 when my parents split up.  I would have been fine with it at 12.  Or 10.

[Cassi]

It is not always better.  My parents stuck it out "for the kids".  They shouldn't have.  Parents splitting up is traumatic for kids at any age.  But it is probably harder on them when it happens later, than if it happened sooner.  I was 16 when my parents split up.  I would have been fine with it at 12.  Or 10.

I agree with Kathy.  Being raised in a home without love is worse.

[krobinson103]

https://www.flickr.com/photos/142425753@N03/shares/3yD7h4

Well apart from needing some new shoes (I have no women's shoes atm) I think I feel pretty happy with physical progress.

[Cassi]

Totally into your color scheme!

[Northern Star Girl]

https://www.flickr.com/photos/142425753@N03/shares/3yD7h4

Well apart from needing some new shoes (I have no women's shoes atm) I think I feel pretty happy with physical progress.

krobinson:
I trust that things with your family are going OK today.

Hmmm, women's shoes.... as you are aware there are so many more styles and colors to choose from as compared to men's shoes. 

Men can usually get by with a pair of walking/sports shoes, a brown pair and a black pair of dress shoes. 

Women... well look in your wife closet....  dozens if not more.

The good news for you in your continuing employment is that you can choose women's styles that are comfortable to have on your feet all day and if you are required to be in male-mode at times, there are women's styles that don't necessarily scream "women's shoes"...   Then what is really neat, as your transition progresses and you might want to dress up to go out, you can really go nuts with strappy shoes and sandals, variety of heel height, lots of colors, etc, etc. and those shoes will indeed scream "women's shoes"

You have a fun time ahead of you....
 
Thanks for your update today...  I look forward every day to following your progress with your transition.
Danielle

[Cassi]

krobinson:
I trust that things with your family are going OK today.

Hmmm, women's shoes.... as you are aware there are so many more styles and colors to choose from as compared to men's shoes. 

Men can usually get by with a pair of walking/sports shoes, a brown pair and a black pair of dress shoes. 

Women... well look in your wife closet....  dozens if not more.

The good news for you in your continuing employment is that you can choose women's styles that are comfortable to have on your feet all day and if you are required to be in male-mode at times, there are women's styles that don't necessarily scream "women's shoes"...   Then what is really neat, as your transition progresses and you might want to dress up to go out, you can really go nuts with strappy shoes and sandals, variety of heel height, lots of colors, etc, etc. and those shoes will indeed scream "women's shoes"

You have a fun time ahead of you....
 
Thanks for your update today...  I look forward every day to following your progress with your transition.
Danielle

Appy, do I detect a hint of the Marcos Syndrome in you?

[Northern Star Girl]

Appy, do I detect a hint of the Marcos Syndrome in you?

Cassi: 
Yep... for sure.   The shoe-bug bit me hard.
My closet is now over-flowing with shoes when I transitioned to Full-Time... all types, heel heights, styles, colors, etc.

Just 2 months ago in January I took a month long vacation, to a south of the equator place that was in their summer season, with a few of my cis-women friends that I regularly go to the gym with here at home. 
First we did a 16 day cruise around New Zealand and then spent 10 days in Australia.  I literally I had ONE suitcase that had mostly shoes in it....   a girl has to be prepared for all situations, ya know.

Note: Of course when we were in Australia they had a heat wave... well over 95 degrees F many days there.... a few were over 100 deg F.  When we got way north to Cairns to go snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef, it was around 100+ degrees F and just about 100% humidity.... just about unbearable.  It was a shock to my system get back home with the snow and ice.  So, no more strappy sandals, tank tops, and shorts.... boots, long pants, sweaters, coats, gloves and hats were in order back home.

*** So, back to krobinson....  be prepared to buy lots of shoes as things progress!!!!
Danielle

[Cassi]

Cassi: 
Yep... for sure.   The shoe-bug bit me hard.
My closet is now over-flowing with shoes when I transitioned to Full-Time... all types, heel heights, styles, colors, etc.

Just 2 months ago in January I took a month long vacation, to a south of the equator place that was in their summer season, with a few of my cis-women friends that I regularly go to the gym with here at home. 
First we did a 16 day cruise around New Zealand and then spent 10 days in Australia.  I literally I had ONE suitcase that had mostly shoes in it....   a girl has to be prepared for all situations, ya know.

Note: Of course when we were in Australia they had a heat wave... well over 95 degrees F many days there.... a few were over 100 deg F.  When we got way north to Cairns to go snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef, it was around 100+ degrees F and just about 100% humidity.... just about unbearable.  It was a shock to my system get back home with the snow and ice.  So, no more strappy sandals, tank tops, and shorts.... boots, long pants, sweaters, coats, gloves and hats were in order back home.

*** So, back to krobinson....  be prepared to buy lots of shoes as things progress!!!!
Danielle

So kewl, you World traveler!  I hate humidity.  There were things that I liked about Texas; cost of living being almost a 1/3rd less than California.  My grand kids when I got to see them and Galveston!  However, the humidity sucked big time.  Bad enough with the humidity but the mosquitoes were terrible.  If my arms do become smaller I'll still look like a reformed drug addict with all the bite marks.

As far as my shoes, I've been wearing for the most part fem tennis shoes, leather quarters and some sandals.  My daughter has "appropriated" my knee boots.  But summer is coming.

[krobinson103]

Well today I took a risk and wore a tunic and jeans to work. All the feedback was overwhelmingly positive. That is good news in itself but,

I looked at my reflection in a window. I saw a tall slim women with subtle but nice curves, decent sized breasts, shoulder length hair. I thought. "She looks attractive" Then I thought... "but she is me". It hit me at that moment that the person on the inside for 30 years is on the outside and I really like how She looks. In fact I get to be her. That has been my earnest wish forever.

I am finally... me. The nightmare is over. This is an amazing thing.

[Northern Star Girl]

Well today I took a risk and wore a tunic and jeans to work. All the feedback was overwhelmingly positive. That is good news in itself but,

I looked at my reflection in a window. I saw a tall slim women with subtle but nice curves, decent sized breasts, shoulder length hair. I thought. "She looks attractive" Then I thought... "but she is me". It hit me at that moment that the person on the inside for 30 years is on the outside and I really like how She looks. In fact I get to be her. That has been my earnest wish forever.

I am finally... me. The nightmare is over. This is an amazing thing.

@ krobinson:  Well, congratulations on your "coming out" at work.  I am so happy that you received positive feedback.   
I tried to enlarge your Avatar-profile picture so I could see the new you a little better....   Perhaps sometime in the future you could post a larger image for all of us to enjoy!!!!
Again, I am so happy for you, and congratulations are in order.
Danielle

[krobinson103]

@ krobinson:  Well, congratulations on your "coming out" at work.  I am so happy that you received positive feedback.   
I tried to enlarge your Avatar-profile picture so I could see the new you a little better....   Perhaps sometime in the future you could post a larger image for all of us to enjoy!!!!
Again, I am so happy for you, and congratulations are in order.
Danielle

Works known for a long time. I've been wearing women's clothing to work for months. Just conservative stuff. People have gendered me right for months. I just realized that I didn't gender me right. Kept finding flaws. One of the male teachers I work with and who saw me two years ago said to me "I don't see a man, I see all women." When I got home I got out of the car and they were finally putting in the fiber for our new internet and I comment on that. The dude looks me all over before smiling and then talking about the work. I went and bought me some new shoes (female ones slight ankle boots with a bit of a heel for work). Again people see a women. I went to the local govt office to do some business. Again, gendered as female with no strangeness.

Now I'm sure there might be some issues with ID's though. Think it might be time to do something about that side of it.
I keep looking for people to react oddly, and, the only way it happens is if my six year old says daddy, or I don't shave for too long - as in 24 hours plus.

So... life can truly get better now.

[Allison S]

I feel like we're on opposite spectrum's on how each of us is approaching our transitioning/coming out... and I say that with a lot of respect. I cower and avoid.

I always enjoy how positive your outlook is. [emoji4]

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[krobinson103]

I feel like we're on opposite spectrum's on how each of us is approaching our transitioning/coming out... and I say that with a lot of respect. I cower and avoid.

I always enjoy how positive your outlook is. [emoji4]

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

I'm afraid.  But avoiding doesn't make the problem go away. Face that fear head on and its gone. Then you can make it a strength to help you with scarier issues.