This is a time of... waiting. Its given me a chance to really reflect on what I have achieved in the last 10 months. Last October/November I was ready to check out. Now I look back and realize that;
Legally everything is done
My relationship status has at least come to a point where I know what the future will look like
Physically I have almost everything I wanted
I've at least subdued facial hair to a point it doesn't annoy me too much
Surgery (orchie) is approved and now I just need to wait
I have plan to make srs happen
I have a plan to keep supporting my family and live a life in which I can be happy
I 'pass' if that matters most of the time
But most importantly I've realized that gender isn't binary. Yes I like being a woman, but I realize that part of me is masculine as well. I spent so many years running away from that I forgot that its ok! I look in the mirror and don't say "omg I'm too...." rather I say "I like being me"
Perhaps, at the end of the day that's what is the most important. I like being me. I don't have to hide, or try to be something I'm not. I think in fairness that's all you can really ask out of life.
Life is awesome and every day has potential.