Ok... you could knock me over with a feather about now. I measured myself about a month ago and came out with 45 35 44. Kind of a top hour glass. Today its 46 34 45 and err... well... hour glassed shaped. Very tall yes, and a bit over weight I have to admit but.... I HAVE CURVES! and decent sized breasts, and my hair is growing, and laser has hammered facial hair so shadow is gone, and body hair is all but gone, and my skin is nice. The speech language therapist said there was nothing more she could teach me about voice and its no longer an effort to not sound male.
In addition, I have legally changed everything except birth certificate, my teacher certification is becoming pretty sorted now, I have sorted my wardrobe, I'm no longer anxious about how people see me, bathrooms and swimming pools are not scary. I've started to link up with the local trans community. In societies eyes I am a woman. A cis woman I met lately called me a nice lady, some of my students called me mum, and even my wife has to admit there ain't no man left. I went clubbing and shopping last weekend and men well .. noticed me. Not only that but I had the confidence to flirt back. I have my libido back and something I thought I lost a long time ago a mischievous streak. I no longer want to fade into the background. I like standing out.
Basically everything my father, wife, and most of my extended family said I couldn't possibly have... I have SO THERE! lol. So now its just a bit of a wait for surgery.
All this in under a year?
There was a song I used as an anthem:
'this is me' it kept me strong in the early months. In the time when even the voices in my own head said no... its too hard... give up... I did not give up and it was hard and it had a high cost and there was lots of pain, more to come.
Well.. I can say this today
THIS IS ME and I love being me. Anyone who told me I couldn't was wrong. Now I can live my life as I should have from the beginning.
