A totally awesome day

[Sonja]

Hi Kelly,

Everything is going so well for you that's awesome! Interesting about a new srs surgeon - like you said - so many people will be trying to jump on that soon, so good luck getting in while you can!  - Are you on a public waiting list also? or are you going to fund this privately? 
I posted an update on me in the fabulous thread, after a day out shopping with my wife for makeup from Mecca Maxima, also got some new sunglasses from Glassons, and had fun browsing through forever new and other shops at the Albany Mall. Oh plus some random makeup stuff from good old K'mart!

Take care,

Sonja.

[krobinson103]

Hi Kelly,

I read your entire thread over the last week. I must say you are a very impressive woman--especially your positive attitude! Your transition has been inspirational to read about and I look forward to following it from here.

I agree with Danielle--your sincere post and regular updates are very much appreciated! 

rachel

Thank you. I'm glad my journey can provide some help to others.

[krobinson103]

Well still at my Mothers place. A few high lights.

My Wife called me She! Yay.
My Mother is struggling and can't bring herself to call me her daughter.. yet. But I think its a matter of time.
I found a Victorian perfume shop at the top of the cable car in Wellington and got some nice perfume today.
Went to my cousins place they are accepting.
The kids had a great time at the Waiuru war museum and Te Papa (NZ national museum)

Most importantly though I had a  chat with my wife about the future. Its shaping up together but apart. She accepts the need for us live our lives as we see fit. She accepts (as do I) that as parents we have at least another ten years of working together. So, it looks like we will find a way to live on the same property, but with our own space. This could be adding to the existing one, or selling up and finding a larger house with two levels.

How this affects my Girl friend I'm not sure. I do know that my responsibility to my kids is paramount and trust that if the relationship is meant to be we will find a way. I haven't been stopped yet and the hurdles were far greater.

Life proceeds apace and, as always...

Today is a totally awesome day.

[krobinson103]

Went to a friends house today. Somewhere along the way he says you've really changed in the last two months. More confidence, appearance (more feminine) and being more at home dressing as a woman. I said thanks. I hadn't noticed this myself. Even my wife said I looked like a middle aged woman at the mini golf course the other day (which is as close to a compliment from her in that area as I'm likely to get).

Fights are fairly frequent and we need to resolve the living arrangements sooner rather than later. Not sure exactly what that looks like, but I have 3 days to think about it before I need to focus on work again so I'll make the best use of the time that I can.

My trip to see my Mother went well I could see She was somewhat shocked at how much has changed and is processing it slowly. I told her about the current living issues, the addition of my gf to the picture, and the strong possibility that things change... a lot ... next year.

I'm not exactly sure what tomorrow will bring! I do know I live in interesting times and its not a bad thing.

[krobinson103]

Today I want to reflect on some internal rewiring that has lately really kicked in. I've written about how much my libido has returned but something that has become more obvious is the total change in how my body experiences orgasm. It used to be a really localized thing. Now its super intense and... everywhere. In my toes, my finger tips my whole body... its just so much more than it used to be. A more mental focus as well in that it could happen just with the right thoughts lol.

Did I say already how awesome hrt is?     

[ChrissyRyan]

Today I want to reflect on some internal rewiring that has lately really kicked in. I've written about how much my libido has returned but something that has become more obvious is the total change in how my body experiences orgasm. It used to be a really localized thing. Now its super intense and... everywhere. In my toes, my finger tips my whole body... its just so much more than it used to be. A more mental focus as well in that it could happen just with the right thoughts lol.

Did I say already how awesome hrt is?     

Wow.  I never heard of that excitement in the toes.  That is interesting.
I have heard of people getting excited with feet or toes, but not the feet or toes themselves experiencing excitement...  Cool.

Chrissy

[krobinson103]

Today was interesting. First decent warm day in spring so I took my youngest to the park felt like wearing my usual skirt, no stockings for a change cause its warm, a nice top, and my new 2 inch heel sandals. As usual no issues 'passing' but, my daughter used daddy about 200 times with lots of people around. Not sure if they thought trans or lesbian or what but you get a few odd looks.

The thing I noticed is that I really don't care anymore what people think or how they look at me. I know who I am and that's all that really matters. Some boys looked at me a bit oddly and said quietly to themselves I think thats a boy. Before that might have bothered me. Now it just amused me to watch them try and figure it out.

[Northern Star Girl]

Today was interesting. First decent warm day in spring so I took my youngest to the park felt like wearing my usual skirt, no stockings for a change cause its warm, a nice top, and my new 2 inch heel sandals. As usual no issues 'passing' but, my daughter used daddy about 200 times with lots of people around. Not sure if they thought trans or lesbian or what but you get a few odd looks.

The thing I noticed is that I really don't care anymore what people think or how they look at me. I know who I am and that's all that really matters. Some boys looked at me a bit oddly and said quietly to themselves I think thats a boy. Before that might have bothered me. Now it just amused me to watch them try and figure it out.

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@krobinson103
Kudos to you.... this is exactly the correct attitude to have as you go out and about.... 
  This positive attitude is something that all that are in transition should consider and adopt..

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Hugs,
Danielle

[krobinson103]

I've gotten back into archery lately and find that the frustration I used to feel when I missed is gone. Rather I calmly think about what I didn't do and do it better next time. The effects of removing most of the t and adding e are profound...

[Northern Star Girl]

I've gotten back into archery lately and find that the frustration I used to feel when I missed is gone. Rather I calmly think about what I didn't do and do it better next time. The effects of removing most of the t and adding e are profound...

@krobinson103
What you described is actually a good lesson in how we handle our life in general and more specifically how we handle our transition journey and our coming out and being full-time and being able to pass reliably and convincingly.

In other words, what you are saying is that we need to learn from our mistakes.
As we make "adjustments" to fine tune what we are doing to produce more success whether it be in Archery or in how we are "passing"  .... success breeds more success.

Thanks for sharing and posting your positive thoughts.
Hugs,
Danielle

[krobinson103]

@krobinson103
What you described is actually a good lesson in how we handle our life in general and more specifically how we handle our transition journey and our coming out and being full-time and being able to pass reliably and convincingly.

In other words, what you are saying is that we need to learn from our mistakes.
As we make "adjustments" to fine tune what we are doing to produce more success whether it be in Archery or in how we are "passing"  .... success breeds more success.

Thanks for sharing and posting your positive thoughts.
Hugs,
Danielle

I don't think its quite as simple as that. I think we give ourselves PERMISSION to succeed and celebrate those successes rather than trying to find fault somehow. I think this stems from the reason for the activity. For example.

Today I was shooting arrows. Why? Because its fun and I wanted to relax.
Two years ago I shot lots of arrows. Why? Because I needed to be distracted from my inner battle.

Today I got some decent results... not great but I enjoyed it never the less
Two years ago I usually got near perfect results from 4 times further away.... and never once celebrated that. Rather tried to do better, and better, and so on.

What does this tell me? That then hobbies were a way TO STAY ALIVE. The distraction was pretty much all that was keeping me going. Now, hobbies are just fun and thanks to those 30 years I'm pretty good at a wide range of things!

The difference between running from something you can't escape, and being happy right where you are is very large.

[krobinson103]

Well I went nuts with the epilator today and there isn't a hair left below the ones on my head that are meant to be there. Since laser is being SUPER effective at killing facial hair I'm actually smooth... everywhere and it feels great! I don't need to shave for two days atm (still do it every day cause I like being smooth) and there are still 6 laser treatments left.

[krobinson103]

Met up with 6 of the local trans girls today for an informal get together lots of fun. Made me feel lucky to not be sitting somewhere in the middle of nowhere...

@Sonja You should really catch up with network on facebook there are some good people out there.

[krobinson103]

https://www.flickr.com/photos/142425753@N03/shares/bHW58a

the Hrt time machine. left hand photo me 4 years ago, middle me 12! years ago and the one on the right me now.

Powerful stuff...

[krobinson103]

https://www.flickr.com/photos/142425753@N03/shares/072a25

Yay! This dress I got a while ago... and now the shoulders and cleavage actually work!

Happy day.

[Sonja]

https://www.flickr.com/photos/142425753@N03/shares/072a25

Yay! This dress I got a while ago... and now the shoulders and cleavage actually work!

Happy day.

@krobinson103

I really like this dress - looks great on you too!
I definitely want to make some friends that I can meet up with but I have been flat out busy for the last few weeks.
Is there a particular FB group you could PM me?

Take care,

Sonja.

[krobinson103]

A day for reflection. Life is a tapestry and each part plays a role in completing the picture. Over forty three years I've experienced a lot and its all come together to this day and this moment.

When I was a child I never fit in. Kids teased me, it hurt. BUT I learned that you can stand on your on feet and truly words are just that... words.

As a teen I never fit in either, I struggled with gender and sexual identity. So I focused on school and got what I needed to got university. A vital step because...

At university I learned to be self motivated by failing badly. I went through a cycle of deep depression and no motivation. It taught me that if you put in nothing you get nothing which was important because...

I went back and finished my science degree, then another in management went to Korea, worked for 14 years found my true path and passion (teaching) and also a wife and family along the way. I also experienced some truly unique things and learned to be bilingual which helped because...

I returned to New Zealand and did another grad diploma in Teaching while learning another language (Maori) which helped me because...

I got a job teaching special needs which I discovered as the job I want to do forever. Which was also vital because it taught me that however different you are you are still special. This helped because...

It pulled me from the brink of suicide a year ago, which in itself was nessecary because it showed me i had to transition which is documented in this thread. The costs have been high, but the rewards 10 times more.

People talk of wishing they had transitioned earlier. I even thought that... till today because if I had I wouldn't have experienced the rich tapestry that life is and have the inner strength to stick to my convictions and just be me so...

There are no regrets. This day, and all the days before are and were totally awesome days and I wouldn't change a single one of them.

[Allison S]

You had a longer time to "grow your conviction". But it's interesting because I feel like I went through a similar set of events to find self acceptance. My experiences were different than yours. Everytime I look back and reflect on my life, I feel like it all affirms the reasons I chose to transition.

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

[krobinson103]

Lately I've noticed that laser hair removal has tamed my facial hair to the point that I really don't need makeup to hide. For the last week I've just gone with sun block and a light bb creme and I have to say...

I LIKE IT!

Even after 5pm regrowth is minimal enough its not noticeable.

[Northern Star Girl]

Lately I've noticed that laser hair removal has tamed my facial hair to the point that I really don't need makeup to hide. For the last week I've just gone with sun block and a light bb creme and I have to say...

I LIKE IT!

Even after 5pm regrowth is minimal enough its not noticeable.

@krobinson103
This is really great news and I know from personal experience that it is so affirming and confidence building to be able to go without shaving .....   soon enough you may not need to even worry about male appearing facial hair.

I am so very happy for you....   this kind of thing does wonders for your "female" ego!!!!
Keep the reports and pictures coming as you feel so led.
Hugs,
Danielle