Changed habits - not so much

[Julia1996]

I'm sure your sister means well but I can't stand it when someone starts telling a trans person they can't do this and can't do that because it's not " female behavior". My mom was really bad about that. She criticized every little thing I did. She would say " you're not going to pass if you keep doing that" or " that's not lady like". The really annoying thing is that before I transitioned she always criticized me for being so feminine. I never had masculine interests except maybe my taste in entertainment. I love gory horror movies and I also like a lot of sci-fi. I don't consider it masculine to like those things but some people do. I really don't care. I like that stuff and I'm not going to stop watching it because some people think it's masculine.

The whole purpose of transitioning is to be happy. Do what makes you happy. If others think those things are masculine, oh well. Who cares? And by the way, lots of people think a capable woman is very cool. The girlfriend of one of my brothers friends is a very pretty and feminine girl but she's also extremely knowledgeable about anything having to do with cars. Her dad owns a garage so she grew up learning about cars. My dad has this old car he's restoring and when she started talking about the motor and what to do to it he and my brother just thought she was just totally cool. I thought so too. She told me she would be happy to teach me basic maintenance stuff for my car. My dad and brother started laughing at the suggestion.  My brother told her about once when he told me my tires needed rotated and I asked him why because they rotated every time I drove the car. The guys died laughing. My brother said he didn't know how I could be so smart and so airheaded at the same time. She didn't laugh. She said if no one had ever explained what rotating tires was, how could they expect me to know. And for the record, it's totally dumb to call it rotating the tires.  They should call it switching the tires.

[Dena]

And for the record, it's totally dumb to call it rotating the tires.  They should call it switching the tires.

Rotating tires was much more descriptive in the days before radial tires. The correct rotation was something like LF>LR>RF>RR>Spare>LF. It took 5 rotations before the the tire would end up on it's original wheel. The idea was for all tires to wear out at the same time however if you attempt this with radial tires they will sing for several hundred miles before they adjust to the new location.

Try that on your father and brother.

[Bari Jo]

I'm sure your sister means well but I can't stand it when someone starts telling a trans person they can't do this and can't do that because it's not " female behavior".

OMG, my sister would be horrified at this.  This was not the meaning from her at all.  Another word she used to describe me was formidable.  It was never about masculine vs feminine.  She meant it as a compliment to my skillset.  Its my fragile ego that worries about fitting in and passing.  Trust me, she's not trying to feed my insecurities, quite the opposite.  She even has confidence building events planned for us to do together.  She's still the unicorn.

Bari Jo

[echo7]

It's ok to carry over some of your traditionally male hobbies and interests. But try to develop a liking to 'women's' interests as well. You might find you enjoy them after all, and engaging in women's activities is very important in developing a social network of female friends.

[Megan.]

I'm a tech geek,  end of; and when people ask me to describe myself,  the first word I use is 'engineer'.

Having said that, some of my interests have changed. I used to be a massive cinema fan, but no longer. I see it was a just escapism that I no longer need.
Baking is something I enjoyed as a child,  and gave now rediscovered a love for.

I still have a deep desire to build/restore a car and build my own house one day, regardless of ruined nails!

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[Sarah_P]

I've developed(had?) a bit of a proclivity for femme, but at the same time I know I am a pure nerd above all else. I'm keeping my anime and comic book t-shirts, no second thought. And that's definitely not traditional, even if become more mainstream in the past decade.

I was going to get rid of my anime t-shirts, but instead a friend is making them into 2 quilts. When I first started transitioning I felt like I had to be feminine in everything. It took me a few months, but I realized that was silly. I can still love giant robots! I DO need to keep my collection down to a more moderate size, though.

[Toni]

Yeah, done all that, ex design engineer and R&D, from airplanes at Reno to bulldozers and race cars.  I'm changing lanes because I don't have anything to prove to anyone at this point and I want to relax and do other creative things.  I think I want to do a lot more with makeup, like movie style.  I love colors, my machines showed it, and in doing my face I have a whole new medium to play with that fascinates me.  There's also music I'd like to get back to, used to play a few instruments.  Point is, I can still do anything I used to, but I also don't have to.  For me, I'm creating a whole new person with her own skills that will develop along with her own story.  Keep what you want, change what you want, it's all good!  Toni

[noleen111]

nothing wrong with keeping some of your male habits.. I love doing DIY and I always help my husband. I am very comfortable in a hardware store, The store clerks do try and treat me like a dumb woman, but they quickly pick up this lady knows her stuff and some times I even know a little more than them.. and it freaks them out that this very girly looking lady is so knowledgeable with her painted nails, makeup, dress and high heels..

I am as comfortable in killer heels as I am in a pair of work boots.. and I can still burp like a male..

[sarah1972]

Ha... just to prove myself I just did a full maintenance on my Generator... oil change, spark plugs, oil filer, air filter.. had to get get a new deep socket from the local auto parts store :-)

[tskriszti]

She is a car mechanic in Hungary. And yeah, she has a dirty hand but I think nowbody quiestion her feminity.
http://szabolcsihir.hu/helyben-jaro/2017/06/vet-permetez-kapal-tuzet-olt-a-gyonyoru-autoszerelo

If you like your job I think you should keep that doing. It's the XXI. century!

[Thea]

Oh and shopping at HD in full female outfit is just an experience by itself... especially if you are confident about what you buy and why... the looks I got a few weeks ago pushing out a cart with 20,000 ft of network cable in heels was just wild

I've worked at HD for about 7 years now. There are quite a few woman contractors and house flippers who are regular customers. My manager gives a class to the new employees that includes a speech about, "just because she's dressed nice and wearing heels, don't assume she's not a contractor."

I'm not out at work yet but I dress pretty andro. My customers and I sometimes trade compliments along the lines of;

Me: "I see you picked out the 'Name Brand' drill. I really like that one."

Customer: "Thank you. That nail polish really looks nice on you."

Me:

Some of the things I like to do in my spare time include, making furniture, building computers and landscaping. I also enjoy cooking, baking and sewing. I'm just a regular modern girl, doing regular modern girl stuff.