Kathy's journey

[KathyLauren]

Skin sensitivity varies quite a bit in different areas, and even over a few millimeters.

Yes, I was finding this yesterday.  She'd find a spot that didn't make me wince and would go to work on it.  After a few minutes, during which I would start to relax, she'd move out of that area and the next zap would make me levitate off the table.  You actually jump higher if you are relaxed, I found out.

[Michelle_P]

Yes, I was finding this yesterday.  She'd find a spot that didn't make me wince and would go to work on it.  After a few minutes, during which I would start to relax, she'd move out of that area and the next zap would make me levitate off the table.  You actually jump higher if you are relaxed, I found out.

That's where I found the 'mindful meditation' to be helpful.  It lets one release that pain, let it flow past and stay relaxed, rather than tense in anticipation of the next poke, which makes it worse.

[KathyLauren]

A local trans friend of mine (more of a FB friend, though I have met her a few times IRL) just had "the talk" with her wife.  She wants to dress at home and to go out as herself without having to be sneaky.  I think, eventually, she wants to transition.  The talk didn't go well: the wife is having none of it.

We see this happening so often here on the forum, too.  It makes me so sad.  I cry tears of joy every time I read about a spouse who is willing to stick by their partner while they transition, because I cry tears of sadness when it goes the other way.

To all the supportive spouses out there, and that includes those who aren't quite sure but are willing to give it a go, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I am so incredibly lucky that my wife supports me in my transition, and I remind her of that every single day.

I don't know what lies in my friend's future, and neither does she.  Whatever it is, it will be painful.

[Faith]

That's so sad. All she wants is to be herself. Those of use with accepting wife's are so lucky. I couldn't imagine losing my life and doing this alone.

[AutumnGurl81]

A local trans friend of mine (more of a FB friend, though I have met her a few times IRL) just had "the talk" with her wife.  She wants to dress at home and to go out as herself without having to be sneaky.  I think, eventually, she wants to transition.  The talk didn't go well: the wife is having none of it.

We see this happening so often here on the forum, too.  It makes me so sad.  I cry tears of joy every time I read about a spouse who is willing to stick by their partner while they transition, because I cry tears of sadness when it goes the other way.

To all the supportive spouses out there, and that includes those who aren't quite sure but are willing to give it a go, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I am so incredibly lucky that my wife supports me in my transition, and I remind her of that every single day.

I don't know what lies in my friend's future, and neither does she.  Whatever it is, it will be painful.

This is sooo hard...I totally feel the tearyness as well, I can say I'm lucky enough to have a supportive wife, soon to be ex, but finding out that the person you've loved (and still do) doesn't want to be a part of your authentic life experience is extremely disheartening. I wish her strength and all the best during her journey.

I read from the bottom btw, and had a good chuckle at your post about laser Kathy! 

[KathyLauren]

Another ouchy experience today: eyebrow waxing.    The things we do to look beautiful!  Still, it does make me look a lot more feminine.

I get mine done at the local beauty school.  They take real customers so the students have victims people to practise on.  They actually do a good job.  There is always an instructor in the room, and they do as good a job as the commercial salon I've been to.

I tell myself that I can pluck them myself, using the shape from the waxing job as a guide.  But the re-growing hairs seem to appear from nowhere overnight.  I look one day, and my brows are slim, with  no new hairs.  Two days later, it seems they are back to standard male-issue brows with no distinction between old hair and new.  So, for $12 every couple of months, waxing makes sense.

[Cassi]

Another ouchy experience today: eyebrow waxing.    The things we do to look beautiful!  Still, it does make me look a lot more feminine.

I get mine done at the local beauty school.  They take real customers so the students have victims people to practise on.  They actually do a good job.  There is always an instructor in the room, and they do as good a job as the commercial salon I've been to.

I tell myself that I can pluck them myself, using the shape from the waxing job as a guide.  But the re-growing hairs seem to appear from nowhere overnight.  I look one day, and my brows are slim, with  no new hairs.  Two days later, it seems they are back to standard male-issue brows with no distinction between old hair and new.  So, for $12 every couple of months, waxing makes sense.

I'll have to keep an eye on my brows.  I got the courage to go to a "Brows Are Us" place and had my brows threaded.  That was quite an experience.  Hard to explain the sensation other than it felt like small electrical shots and buzzing at the same time. 

They look okay, would have preferred them be a little lighter and not as thick at the beginning but we'll see.

[Anne Blake]

My electrocutioner is making good progress on my eye brows. She trims some each month or so and they are taking shape well. The pain is not bad and the added time is minimal. Plus I haven't plucked in over six months.

Tia Anne

[Cassi]

My electrocutioner is making good progress on my eye brows. She trims some each month or so and they are taking shape well. The pain is not bad and the added time is minimal. Plus I haven't plucked in over six months.

Tia Anne

What no Pain???

[Anne Blake]

Yes, there is pain, it is electrolysis after all, just not that bad if taken a bit each time.

[Bari Jo]

I'm with Kathy, I'll get my brows waxed or threaded every couple months.  It's so inexpensive and pain is for about ten minutes and that's it!

Bari Jo

[KathyLauren]

Aargh!  I was shaving this morning (  ) and suddenly realized that I had forgotten the last two days to leave a patch for the electrocutioner to work on today.  It is so hard to remember NOT to do something!

So I had to call both her and the dentist (we were supposed to do upper lip today) and reschedule. 

I hate acting like an old person!

[steph2.0]

Aargh!  I was shaving this morning (  ) and suddenly realized that I had forgotten the last two days to leave a patch for the electrocutioner to work on today.  It is so hard to remember NOT to do something!

So I had to call both her and the dentist (we were supposed to do upper lip today) and reschedule. 

I hate acting like an old person!

Well, at least you don't look like one! ❤️


- Stephanie

[KathyLauren]

Well, at least you don't look like one! ❤️


- Stephanie

Aw, thanks.  You're sweet!  ❤️

[Laurie]

Hmmmm Kathy,

  Perhaps you have somehow caught a foreign strain of my sometimers virus. I have a devil of a time with it. You can ask Michelle as she con confirm it with first hand observation.

[Cassi]

Brain farts suck!

[KathyLauren]

While I certainly feel like a woman, and I am beginning to look more like a woman, I clearly have some work to do to think like a woman...

On an aviation page that I follow, the discussion lately was on high-altitude training for military pilots, and the physical demands of that environment on the body.  A female participant, obviously not a pilot herself, posted: "did the study show how long the effects lasted...also what about the effects after years of flying at high altitude? Is this why fighter pilots flying career is a young man's game?"  I explained to her that this was regular training, not a "study" and that the effects we were talking about were short-term.  I totally missed the "young man's game" part, until a later (male) poster said, "being a fighter pilot is a young (wo)man's game because they're only immortal for a limited time."

I'm kicking myself for missing that, because I have considered myself a women's libber from a long time back.  The only consolation is that the person who posted it in the first place was a woman, too.

[Cassi]

While I certainly feel like a woman, and I am beginning to look more like a woman, I clearly have some work to do to think like a woman...

On an aviation page that I follow, the discussion lately was on high-altitude training for military pilots, and the physical demands of that environment on the body.  A female participant, obviously not a pilot herself, posted: "did the study show how long the effects lasted...also what about the effects after years of flying at high altitude? Is this why fighter pilots flying career is a young man's game?"  I explained to her that this was regular training, not a "study" and that the effects we were talking about were short-term.  I totally missed the "young man's game" part, until a later (male) poster said, "being a fighter pilot is a young (wo)man's game because they're only immortal for a limited time."

I'm kicking myself for missing that, because I have considered myself a women's libber from a long time back.  The only consolation is that the person who posted it in the first place was a woman, too.

I think the "Immortality" is common among all military personnel when we young, lol.

[KathyLauren]

I got my hair cut today.  I wear a wig or a hat any time I am out in public.  But my own hair needs to be cut in order to fit under the wig, so I had to take the wig off in the salon.  A little bit dysphoric.

I go to the beauty school to get it done, so the hairdressers are all students.  I must say, the one who did my hair today took my obviously masculine features, particularly the MPB, in stride.  I'm probably the first transgender client she has had.  So I figure I'm doing a bit of activism/outreach/education by going there.  Also, it's cheap.

In spite of the dysphoria of having to take my wig off in public, I couldn't help smiling as I admired my reflection in the mirror for half an hour.  Without the wig, I don't look like a guy.  I look like a woman with really unfortunate alopecia.  It's the lips a bit, but mostly it's the eyes.  Whatever E has done to them, (I still can't identify exactly what has changed), they look totally feminine.  And I have the cutest smile lines radiating from them.

She did a nice job of cutting my hair.  It is good and short, for tucking under the wig, but she left enough curls at the back that I can wear a ball cap for dog walking and such, and still look good.

[Bari Jo]

Kathy, I know what you mean.  Occasionally you are amazed that small features are looking feminine.  I still am 100% gendered male, but sometimes I see Bari Jo in there, and those moments however brief are becoming more common.

I'm so happy for you Kathy.  It's a bummer that a wig is needed, but you are taking that with grace.

Bari Jo