Kathy's journey

[Faith]

I must come and visit some day:



Stephanie

YES!!  Yes, you must.  Put that license plate on the back of yer plane and they'll let you right in.   

They spell AIR 'AUR' up there or just bad spellers?

[Cassi]

Watch out Steph, once your in, no gett'n out

[KathyLauren]

They spell AIR 'AUR' up there or just bad spellers?

All our coloUrful neighboUrs up here will be on their best behavioUr to welcome Steph's aUrplane.  See U soon.   

[Cassi]

All our coloUrful neighboUrs up here will be on their best behavioUr to welcome Steph's aUrplane.  See U soon.   

Just as parts of Europe and european natives have the potential of being off spring of the Khan, so do Nova Scotians have Vikings!!!!

Valhala and Trans-Lution !!!!!

[steph2.0]

They spell AIR 'AUR' up there or just bad spellers?

They dou tend tou use toou many "U"s.

[KathyLauren]

I passed an interesting milestone last night.  I had my first (remembered) dream in which I gendered myself female.  I think I've gendered myself properly in dreams before, but, since I almost never remember my dreams, I wasn't sure.  Mostly, I think I don't have a gender in my dreams.  This time, I woke up remembering the dream.

Perhaps this is TMI, but in the dream I found myself walking into a sex toy shop.  It was filled with large, hunky men, and I went "Eww!" and quickly turned and left.  My friends were waiting for me outside and said, "What were you thinking?  It says right here on the sign that it is men's night."

I am sure that a Freudian psychologist would have fun analysing that.  But I don't believe in that stuff, and I'm happier just filing it under "Well, that was interesting."

The significant thing for me is that I saw myself as female, that I didn't belong among men, and that my friends also saw me as female.  Yay!

[Bari Jo]

That's wonderful Kathy.  I'm with you on that.  In my dreams I've never had been gendered either way.  But now that I've been on HRT and actively trying to be the correct gender my dreams sometimes reflect that.  It's silly, but can actually make you happy all day.

Bari Jo

[Jessica]

That's wonderful Kathy.  I'm with you on that.  In my dreams I've never had been gendered either way.  But now that I've been on HRT and actively trying to be the correct gender my dreams sometimes reflect that.  It's silly, but can actually make you happy all day.

Bari Jo

Happy all day?  I'd be ecstatic!  I have had dreams gendered both ways.  In a male one, I never think about it.  But in a female one, I think about it all day.  Unfortunately, I don't recall any gender in any dream lately.

Jess

[KathyLauren]

I follow a Facebook page that deals with the aircraft I flew in the air force.  I am not shy about sharing my flying experiences on it and contributing to the discussion when I can.  I make no secret about my background - anyone can follow my Facebook page back far enough to read my transition announcement if they want - but I don't advertise my trans status.  For that matter, I have made posts on that page under my old name that now magically have my new name.  I just don't draw attention to those posts.

Today, someone posted an org chart of the flying school from the years I was there.  It is fun seeing all those names that I recognize.  There I am on page 1.  Ordinarily, I would comment on that fact.  Everybody else does.  I could almost get away with it because my initials are still the same.

The only thing is that the dates don't work.  The chart is from 1979, and the first female pilot didn't graduate until 1981.  Everybody whose name is on the chart knows that the people listed were all male.  Not only is that common knowledge, but the first female pilot is a member of that FB group, so she would notice, if no one else did.  Posting a "that's me" would out me to the group.  I "liked" the post but didn't comment.

It's funny, I don't really have any intention of being stealth.  I don't like the idea.  And yet, here I am acting stealthy on that group. 

I think that I just don't want my being trans to be the centre of attention as it would be if I did comment.  I don't mind if individuals know: they can accept me or unfriend me if they choose.  I don't even mind if individuals want to ask me questions about being trans.  But I don't want to be talked about in a group.

[Cassi]

Interesting.  But remember your a Viking!

[KathyLauren]

It's funny, I don't really have any intention of being stealth.  I don't like the idea.  And yet, here I am acting stealthy on that group. 

...And that has been rubbing me the wrong way since I posted that.  So this morning, I outed myself on that group: I posted that that was me ("Lt. K.L. <lastname>") under the OFT section.  We'll see if they can handle it.

Interesting.  But remember your a Viking!

Thanks, Cassi.  And a Viking announces herself loudly and don't take no crap from nobody.

[KathyLauren]

...And that has been rubbing me the wrong way since I posted that.  So this morning, I outed myself on that group: I posted that that was me ("Lt. K.L. <lastname>") under the OFT section.  We'll see if they can handle it.

Only a couple of people have responded so far, but they did it well.  One guy said he remembered me in the OFT section and in A Flight (unspoken subtext: "I get it that you are trans, and it's cool with me.").  I looked back through my logbook and found that he and I had flown together once.  So I replied to him, telling him the date and aircraft number.  ( = "Yes I am.  Thanks.")  And he then confirmed it from his logbook.  ( = "You're welcome.")

I like that the first reaction to outing myself is positive, because that creates peer pressure on anyone who might be thinking of making a negative response.  Those guys are all ex air force, so they respond well to peer pressure.

Being safely out on that group means that I can re-connect with people I knew from an exciting time in my life.

[Jayne01]

Only a couple of people have responded so far, but they did it well.  One guy said he remembered me in the OFT section and in A Flight (unspoken subtext: "I get it that you are trans, and it's cool with me.").  I looked back through my logbook and found that he and I had flown together once.  So I replied to him, telling him the date and aircraft number.  ( = "Yes I am.  Thanks.")  And he then confirmed it from his logbook.  ( = "You're welcome.")

I like that the first reaction to outing myself is positive, because that creates peer pressure on anyone who might be thinking of making a negative response.  Those guys are all ex air force, so they respond well to peer pressure.

Being safely out on that group means that I can re-connect with people I knew from an exciting time in my life.

Kathy, that's really cool. I hope you get many more positive responses. There is no reason not to, but it's hard to predict other people's reactions. So far it is looking good. It would be nice for you to get a part of your "old life" back that was important to you.

Jayne

[steph2.0]

Only a couple of people have responded so far, but they did it well.  One guy said he remembered me in the OFT section and in A Flight (unspoken subtext: "I get it that you are trans, and it's cool with me.").  I looked back through my logbook and found that he and I had flown together once.  So I replied to him, telling him the date and aircraft number.  ( = "Yes I am.  Thanks.")  And he then confirmed it from his logbook.  ( = "You're welcome.")

I like that the first reaction to outing myself is positive, because that creates peer pressure on anyone who might be thinking of making a negative response.  Those guys are all ex air force, so they respond well to peer pressure.

Being safely out on that group means that I can re-connect with people I knew from an exciting time in my life.

Congratulations Kathy! I had changed my first name from Steve to Steph a while back and had been posting on the support group for the plane I used to represent (The CGS Hawk) as Steph for a while. Just recently I changed the first name on my account to Stephanie, and I see that all my old posts have had the name changed retroactively. No response of any kind yet. [emoji16]

Stephanie

[KathyLauren]

My wife and I went out for dinner last night with a bunch of trans friends and their spouses.  We take over a large table at a restaurant and just have a good time with random conversation.  No one stares, and the wait staff are nice.

All my life, I've longed for a social life, but just couldn't fit in.  It is so cool to be in a group where I belong.  And I don't just mean a trans group.  I am finding that I am a lot more social among cis women, too.

[Jayne01]

How nice for you Kathy to have that feeling you belong somewhere. Awesome!

Jayne

[KathyLauren]

How nice for you Kathy to have that feeling you belong somewhere. Awesome!

Jayne

Don't worry, you'll get there, to, hun.

[Jessica]

My wife and I went out for dinner last night with a bunch of trans friends and their spouses.  We take over a large table at a restaurant and just have a good time with random conversation.  No one stares, and the wait staff are nice.

All my life, I've longed for a social life, but just couldn't fit in.  It is so cool to be in a group where I belong.  And I don't just mean a trans group.  I am finding that I am a lot more social among cis women, too.

This is wonderful Kathy, I'm so happy for you, this is what I'm striving for also.  This is what we all strive for.

On another note, you mentioned you had a dream where you were gendered correctly in it.
I had that dream too last night.  My first.  It was just a social setting and I was a woman.  Woke thinking, yep that's who I am.

Smiles, Jess

[Cassi]

Congratulations Kathy! I had changed my first name from Steve to Steph a while back and had been posting on the support group for the plane I used to represent (The CGS Hawk) as Steph for a while. Just recently I changed the first name on my account to Stephanie, and I see that all my old posts have had the name changed retroactively. No response of any kind yet. [emoji16]

Stephanie

Steph Hawk(ings)

[KathyLauren]

Nothing much new to report here. 

I put up a new avatar picture, using the same pic here and on Facebook.  I have had a lot of nice feedback on it, and a theme is emerging from people's comments:  my face is feminizing very nicely.  I have kind of noticed it myself, but other people are noticing it too, including my wife.

I also noticed while shopping today that there are a lot of women out there with really masculine faces.  I saw several today who could have been trans.  Odds are they probably weren't, but still.

When I put these two observations together, I come to one conclusion:  I am often NOT the most masculine-looking woman in the building.  I hesitate to claim that I pass, but could it be possible?  Well, maybe until I open my mouth.  It is a development that I hadn't actually expected.

Amazing stuff, that estradiol!