Kathy's journey

[Jayne01]

@Jayne01  Oh yeah, about your picture: a Galaxy far, far away, or is it a Nebula???   
I am looking forward to any pictures that you eventually post,
but obviously only when you feel comfortable doing it.
Hugs,
Danielle

My profile picture is a photo my brother took with his telescope. I really don't know what it is. I think it might be a nebula but have no idea which one. Kathy might know. I don't know if this one can be seen from way up north.

Jayne

EDIT: I just had a look at my brother's flickr account and he named this photo:
NGC 2244 - Rosette Nebula

[KathyLauren]

My profile picture is a photo my brother took with his telescope. I really don't know what it is. I think it might be a nebula but have no idea which one. Kathy might know. I don't know if this one can be seen from way up north.

Jayne

EDIT: I just had a look at my brother's flickr account and he named this photo:
NGC 2244 - Rosette Nebula

Oh, that's cool that your brother does astrophotography.  That is my hobby, too.  I was going to post that it is the Rosette Nebula, but I see you have that covered.

[Jayne01]

Oh, that's cool that your brother does astrophotography.  That is my hobby, too.  I was going to post that it is the Rosette Nebula, but I see you have that covered.

I have yet to look through his telescope, but from what I understand it isn't an optical scope. He has a computer and the camera hooked up to it and takes multiple, long exposure photos and then merges the individual images to get the finished product.

He lives on the outer edges of Sydney, like I do, just on opposite ends, so there is still lots of light pollution from the city lights. I am surprised he can still manage to get such cool photos.

Jayne

[KathyLauren]

I have yet to look through his telescope, but from what I understand it isn't an optical scope. He has a computer and the camera hooked up to it and takes multiple, long exposure photos and then merges the individual images to get the finished product.

That's exactly what I do, too.  Here's my version of the Rosette:

[steph2.0]

I have yet to look through his telescope, but from what I understand it isn't an optical scope. He has a computer and the camera hooked up to it and takes multiple, long exposure photos and then merges the individual images to get the finished product.

He lives on the outer edges of Sydney, like I do, just on opposite ends, so there is still lots of light pollution from the city lights. I am surprised he can still manage to get such cool photos.

Jayne

Cool! Ok, since Kathy is too far north, tell your brother your girlfriend Stephanie wants a picture of Eta Carinae!

[Jayne01]

Cool! Ok, since Kathy is too far north, tell your brother your girlfriend Stephanie wants a picture of Eta Carinae!

Is this what you are looking for? He took these December 3026.

[steph2.0]

Is this what you are looking for? He took these December 3026.

Hmm. Not the view I'm used to, but probably different filters. Very clear, though! And I knew you guys live in the future, but 3026? Wow! How is the iPhone 3510 selling?


- Stephanie

[Jayne01]

Hmm. Not the view I'm used to, but probably different filters. Very clear, though! And I knew you guys live in the future, but 3026? Wow! How is the iPhone 3510 selling?


- Stephanie

Oops! Let me try again. December 2016. Lol

[JudiBlueEyes]

Awesome photos!  I love all the stars in yours Kathy.

Judi

[KathyLauren]

Oops! Let me try again. December 2016. Lol

Whew!  I didn't think you were that many time zones ahead of us.

[KathyLauren]

I was reading an article in my university's alumni magazine this morning about masculine culture in the wake of the #metoo movement.  The author was hopeful but not optimistic that male culture would change.

It brought up in my mind an incident from my past.  The case was well known nationally - it made headlines on the national news at the time.  A female pilot alleged, many years after the fact, that she had been sexually assaulted by her instructor while she was a student pilot, in exchange for good grades.  Don't worry, I was not that instructor.

But I was an instructor there at the time.  I heard the scuttlebut in the otherwise all-male school: that the relationship was consensual, at her suggestion.  I won't use the words that they used about her, but you can imagine.

I heard what was said about her, and I instincively knew what the truth likely was.  And I cowardly kept my mouth shut about it.  I encountered toxic masculinity, and I caved.  I am not proud of that.

In hindsight, I am more charitable to my former self than I used to be, in light of my transition.  I was so deeply in the closet, especially to myself, that I was totally incapable of opposing the prevailing story.  Anything that suggested that I wasn't one of "them" would have been too revealing of my true self.

I occasionally run into the victim of the assault on Facebook.  One of these days, I might offer her an apology for my silence.  It has been 20 years since the publicity around the case, and almost 40 years since the incident itself.  It still bugs me.

[steph2.0]

I'm sure we've all done things in the past that we're not proud of, out of pure self-preservation. Fear of the consequences of not fitting in, or in extreme cases, of being outed, is a very powerful motivator for playing along or staying silent. Imagine what would have happened 20 years ago if you'd spoken up. And realistically, would you have moved the needle on the prevailing mindset?

I know those fears kept me laughing at transphobic or homophobic jokes, or later just staying quiet. I'm occasionally ashamed of that, but forgive myself since one, I was scared to death at the time, and two, it was in the past, and I think just by openly living my life I've changed a lot of minds.

What you went through was exponentially higher in degree, but the same in substance as some of the things I've done. If you don't think dredging up the past would hurt the woman involved, I see no reason to avoid unburdening yourself. I did a little of that with an old coworker on my Michigan road trip, and it was good for both of us. On the other hand, maybe she would rather leave the past be. Maybe you can get a feel for her thoughts from her Facebook page.

Whatever you decide, please stop beating yourself up about it. You are wiser and better than you were way back then.

Hugs,

Stephanie

[Jessica]

If this is still weighing on you after all these years, likely it is with her as well.  It had a big impact on you, but I feel it was far more on her.  She may not want to dredge up the past, but I see no harm in letting her (privately) know than you apologize for having fear stop you from questioning it all.  Insert the caveat that no reply is necessary, but that one would be received with no reservation.  Just knowing you have made the attempt is enough to give you peace of mind.
It's easiest to sit back, but it makes it harder to live.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

I was reading an article in my university's alumni magazine this morning about masculine culture in the wake of the #metoo movement.  The author was hopeful but not optimistic that male culture would change.

It brought up in my mind an incident from my past.  The case was well known nationally - it made headlines on the national news at the time.  A female pilot alleged, many years after the fact, that she had been sexually assaulted by her instructor while she was a student pilot, in exchange for good grades.  Don't worry, I was not that instructor.

But I was an instructor there at the time.  I heard the scuttlebut in the otherwise all-male school: that the relationship was consensual, at her suggestion.  I won't use the words that they used about her, but you can imagine.

I heard what was said about her, and I instincively knew what the truth likely was.  And I cowardly kept my mouth shut about it.  I encountered toxic masculinity, and I caved.  I am not proud of that.

In hindsight, I am more charitable to my former self than I used to be, in light of my transition.  I was so deeply in the closet, especially to myself, that I was totally incapable of opposing the prevailing story.  Anything that suggested that I wasn't one of "them" would have been too revealing of my true self.

I occasionally run into the victim of the assault on Facebook.  One of these days, I might offer her an apology for my silence.  It has been 20 years since the publicity around the case, and almost 40 years since the incident itself.  It still bugs me.

[KathyLauren]

Thanks Steph and Jessica.

I know those fears kept me laughing at transphobic or homophobic jokes, or later just staying quiet. I'm occasionally ashamed of that, but forgive myself since one, I was scared to death at the time, and two, it was in the past, and I think just by openly living my life I've changed a lot of minds.

Whatever you decide, please stop beating yourself up about it. You are wiser and better than you were way back then.

Don't worry, I am not beating myself up over it.  I understand why I didn't speak up and I have forgiven my younger self.  Nowadays, it is just one of those cringe-worthy memories.

She may not want to dredge up the past, but I see no harm in letting her (privately) know than you apologize for having fear stop you from questioning it all.

I am not too worried about dredging up the past for her.  She went very public with the accusation at the time, and it is mentioned in her Wikipedia article.  It's not what she wants to be famous for, but she is nevertheless well-known for it.  Any contact I make on the subject will be private, of course.

I might not bring it up at all, unless the subject comes up.

[christinej78]

Hi Everyone,             04 May 2018

I am guilty of everything you all have said. I hid my real self and did and said crappy (not the word I'd liked to have used) things because I was a coward. I was afraid to admit who and what I was. I cannot go back and undo what I did or said, but I can make sure I do not repeat those actions, or lack there of, again and will step up when I see and hear it from someone else.

I grew up in a dysfunctional family of alcoholics and bigots; fortunately they are now history. Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon thread in our culture. It is long overdue for an overhaul.

Prior to beginning my transition in earnest, I did a lot of research, about a years worth. One item kept popping up which made me realize that the majority of the brutality and aggression that exists on earth has one common denominator: TESTOSTERONE

Just received my hormone test results yesterday: Testosterone = 10 ng/dl (normal male range = 221 - 716),  Estradiol = 58 pc/ml . Good riddance "T" you are no longer my nemesis.

Best Always, Love to all,
Christine

[Jayne01]

I too, have done things or not done anything when I should have, all in an effort to fit in. I am not proud of that. I am trying to make up for my past by being a better person now. The past can't be changed.

If the incident with this pilot is weighing on you, it could be good for you and her to make contact. You were both victims of the social norms in a different era.

Jayne

[Anne Blake]

Kathy, yes, we have all done things that we are not proud of and wish we could have a do over. But I have to praise you and thank you for speaking up about something that could have well remained hidden. You continue to demonstrate that you are one good hearted woman. Thank you for that.

Tia Anne

[KathyLauren]

I took this photo for @Alaskan Danielle's hot & sweaty collection, but what the heck, this is my thread and my photo. 

I've spent the last three afternoons shovelling and raking gravel for our 800' driveway.  The dump truck driver dumped half of it in the wrong place, and couldn't spread the rest evenly because of overhead wires.  So shovel, rake and wheelbarrow were the only options.  I'll have to make sure I don't get all muscle-y.

This is me after today's work.  I may be sweaty, but I'm still moderately cute.

[Northern Star Girl]

I took this photo for @Alaskan Danielle's hot & sweaty collection, but what the heck, this is my thread and my photo. 

I've spent the last three afternoons shovelling and raking gravel for our 800' driveway.  The dump truck driver dumped half of it in the wrong place, and couldn't spread the rest evenly because of overhead wires.  So shovel, rake and wheelbarrow were the only options.  I'll have to make sure I don't get all muscle-y.

This is me after today's work.  I may be sweaty, but I'm still moderately cute.

Kathy: I love these real life situations that we always don't look our best... that happens to me a lot...  we can always be prettied up when the need arises, but we have life to deal with... and some of those issues are dirty and sweaty....   I got your post on my thread and when I do the "hot and sweaty" Montage I will certainly include your picture and any others that show you working hard.... I am not just planning to include only ONE picture if anyone has more that is great.  I am hoping that I have a couple from each member that wants to be included.
Thanks for your posting here and on my thread....   this will be fun once I can get it all together....   then of course on another thread there were plans for Bikini Pictures....   fun things for sure.
Danielle

[christinej78]

I took this photo for @Alaskan Danielle's hot & sweaty collection, but what the heck, this is my thread and my photo. 

I've spent the last three afternoons shovelling and raking gravel for our 800' driveway.  The dump truck driver dumped half of it in the wrong place, and couldn't spread the rest evenly because of overhead wires.  So shovel, rake and wheelbarrow were the only options.  I'll have to make sure I don't get all muscle-y.

This is me after today's work.  I may be sweaty, but I'm still moderately cute.

Hola Kathy,                07 May 2018

You still look like a hot chick (no pun intended with the hot). An 800' foot driveway? Where do you live, out in the country? That has to be a lot of shoveling, more than I'd want to do. I think I'd be a callin Hertz Rent A Dozer. Driving is a whole lot easier than shoveling.

Kathy: I love these real life situations that we always don't look our best... that happens to me a lot...  we can always be prettied up when the need arises, but we have life to deal with... and some of those issues are dirty and sweaty....   I got your post on my thread and when I do the "hot and sweaty" Montage I will certainly include your picture and any others that show you working hard.... I am not just planning to include only ONE picture if anyone has more that is great.  I am hoping that I have a couple from each member that wants to be included.
Thanks for your posting here and on my thread....   this will be fun once I can get it all together....   then of course on another thread there were plans for Bikini Pictures....   fun things for sure.
Danielle

Hi Danielle,

I can send you a photo of me bustin hump but it was taken before I transitioned, about 4 years ago. I was working up in a tree. Will it qualify for inclusion in Hot and Sweaty?

As for the bikini photos, the only photos I have were taken at the nudist resort. I really don't think you nor I would want them posted anywhere; the same goes for a bikini photo.

Kathy, from an earlier post on your thread I read where you were a flight instructor. Are you still flying and what do or did you fly?

Well Kathy, it's been nice posting on your thread. Please take care of yourself. Go rent a front end loader, it'll make that 800' seem like 80 feet and you won't have to worry about muscling up; it'll also be easier on your back.

Best Always,
Christine