Long post.
TL;DR: Awesome weekend with some excellent trans-related experiences.
I spent the last three days at the annual "star party" of the Royal Astronomical Society of Canada. This group has a special place in my heart quite apart from the subject matter. It was a presentation three years ago at their annual national convention, by an astrophysicist who happened to be trans, that opened my eyes to how a trans person could be seen as "normal". And my public speaking debut as Kathy, at last year's star party, gave me a huge confidence boost.
The event is a camp-out with telescopes at a provincial park. They have speakers giving presentations during the daytime and in the early evening, and then we observe and/or photograph the sky after it gets dark.
Clothing-wise, my presentation was girl-camper: colourful T-shirts, and denim capris or shorts. It was scorching hot and we were out in the sun a lot in the daytime, so I decided to go wig-less for most of the weekend and wear either a ball cap with the society's logo or my wide-brim gardening hat. And a ton of SPF 50 sunscreen!
The campground. The photo is from two years ago because I didn't get any good ones this year, but I was in the same campsite this year.
I checked my appearance carefully in the mirror before leaving my tent in the mornings. And, aside from my receding hairline, easily covered, I couldn't see male in the mirror. Well, except for the beard stubble. I had to dry-shave in my tent before venturing out to the washroom for my shower in the mornings. Shaving my face in public would definitely impair my passability. But my eyes and my mouth do not pass as male any more.
This year, like last, they asked me to do a beginner's talk. Like last year's talk, on a slightly different subject, I focused on some common "gotchas" that cause beginners problems because no one told them. No one fell asleep, and I had numerous people seek me out for the rest of the weekend to thank me for the talk. There were several experienced members who said that they learned something new that they hadn't known before.
I cleaned up in the astrophotography contest, winning both the adjudicated competition and the people's choice award. There was some stiff competition, and apparently, I won by only one vote in both cases, but a win is a win.
My winning photo:
Yesterday, we went on a field trip to see two tidal bores. (Tides are an astronomical phenomenon, and tidal bores are certainly not boring. The Bay of Fundy has the world's highest tides, and yesteday's tides were the highest in 2018.) We car pooled to the two sites, and I was seated next to a new female member that I had not met before. I took advantage of the opportunity to brush up on my interacting-with-women social skills. We had a nice chat in the car about our backgrounds (she is a retired nurse), our dogs, and such stuff.
One of the two tidal bores:
On the way back to the campground, we stopped at a restaurant for lunch. I don't normally eat with my hat on – only cowboys eat with their hats on – but I couldn't bring myself to reveal my balding pate, so I kept my ball cap on. I felt obliged to apologize, and my new friend took an immediate interest. So I explained that I had "really bad alopecia". Which is true: male pattern baldness is also known as androgenic alopecia. She took even more of an interest at that point. I was starting to get uncomfortable that my answers would appear deceptive, so I came out to her. Everyone else in the society already knows about me, and I'd rather she heard it from me than from someone else. She went on to ask some really sensible and sensitive questions: she has a neighbour who is FTM trans. It felt good to be real with her. I don't think she guessed that I was trans before I told her. On the other hand, I could tell that she was thinking, "Well, that explains the voice."
Speaking of which, one of the night-time activities is to share our telescopes and views with members of the general public. It is dark, only dim red lights are permitted, and you can't tell who is who until they speak. So at one point, someone at my telescope said to their companion, "Look, this
gentleman has Saturn in his telescope." I gritted my teeth and said, "Argh!" to myself. I didn't bother to correct them. I've never seen them before in my life, I won't even see them again, and the misgendering was understandable, since they had nothing to go on but my voice. But argh, anyway.
This morning, as everyone was packing up, an old friend in the group came over to chat. We don't often get face time, so she asked me how my transition was going. I was able to tell her that it is all going way better than I had ever expected. It was nice of her to ask.
So, aside from looking at stars and meteors, what are my take-aways from the weekend? I am a public figure in the society, not for being trans, but as both a speaker and an award recipient. I am 'out' to just about everyone, and am totally accepted. In fact, more than accepted, I feel supported, respected, and even liked. I have some women friends in the group, old and new, with whom I can be real, and who are supportive. (My new friend also came over to say goodbye to me as I was packing up.)
I came home on a huge high.
