Echo,
Sorry about this rant but I am right there with you.
My knowing that I am different inside, to what I am on the outside, is not a thorn.
I'm going to change some of those outside things. I have had 6 decades of living male and now I have the opportunity to live the last years of my life the way I always wanted to - as female as possible.
Some might think that the first six decades were a curse. I don't, it just took me that long to get brave enough to come to terms with who I really am. I knew something was wrong when I was a little boy. Back then there was no internet or medical technologies like we have today. They would have locked me up and sedated me back then. We live today, in a better world that will hopefully continue to grow in understanding our hurt. I have self-harmed my genitals since the age of 8 or 9. I wanted to be rid of my maleness, rid of testosterone and I always had to live with guilt. I wished that I could just flip a switch and be a girl/woman. A long time ago, I learned about Grace. Grace happened for us when Jesus died on the cross and became the ultimate sacrifice. That sacrifice blew away the "Law", the 10 commandments. That "ultimate sacrifice" stopped the animal sacrifices that preceded it or we would still be doing it today. Churches work hard to make you feel like you were/are under the law because they have this "fear" (false evidence appearing real) that "tithing" donations would dwindle. They want your money and fear brings it to them.Bible says in;
1 Samuel 16:7 –
"But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature...for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.'"
And in Galatians 3:26-28 –
"For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus."
In St. Matthew 22:36-39 – it says;
Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
Jesus said unto him, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."
And in the gospel of St. John 13:34-35 it says;
"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."
I don't want to get preachy but as a Christian, I live under Grace. Many people, especially those who are quick to judge, or condemn, live under the Law. I don't attend a structured church because of ministers/teachers who like to place God's Children under the Law instead of Grace. They teach hatred, misunderstanding and condemnation for any who are different or live against ways they cannot understand. God understands whether you are gay, straight, bi, trans or any orientation, gender or race. These ministers need to rethink what they are teaching their flock as it says in Romans 3:23 in the King James Version (KJV);
"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God..."
In Romans 7:15 – in the New International Version, St. Paul says;
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."
In Luke 6:37 of the New International Version of the Bible it says;
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."
Again, sorry for the rant but this is the only way I can live
Ajtent