What was the thing that held you back the most?

[PurpleWolf]

Yes. What kept you holding back from transitioning the most? Do you have one thing that was the worst? Or many?

---
MONEY. Unfortunately.
More precisely, 3 things:
Being victim of transphobia, which prevented me from transitioning.
Dysphoria that prevented me from making money.
Money and not having it. Otherwise would have transitioned ages ago, I think.

Edit: I'll add that I too developed those fears you mentioned as I was not able to transition back then. My biggest fear: Not being accepted by other guys & being part of them. Plus: not being cis, being a freak, being this 'in-between monster' (without a dick), being hated on, not being really trans etc. (btw thanks to you guys it's completely gone now, I think)
But all that only came along after I almost lost my mind for not being able to transition. (I started to believe that the person I see in the mirror is the one I 'really am' and can't be a guy.)
But the biggest one for me was undoubtedly the money. I always knew I would operate my chest as soon as I could afford to.

[natalie.ashlyne]

For me i did not want to get picked on i did not know how too i did not know the cost just scared of the unknow scared i would not pass

[Elis]

Scared I'd be looked at like a freak and disowned by my dad. Happened but I'm so much happier now so it didn't matter as much as I thought. And not being able to get a job to pay for private treatment because the NHS is a joke for trans people

[PurpleWolf]

Scared I'd be looked at like a freak and disowned by my dad. Happened but I'm so much happier now so it didn't matter as much as I thought.

Hugs  !!! You are strong!

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/12/04/those-who-mind/
1.Do what you want to do, say what you want to say, because those who matter don't mind, and those who do mind don't matter.
2.Say what you want and be who you are, because those who matter don't mind, and those who matter don't mind.
3.Always do what you want, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
4.Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

[Julia1996]

For me it was fear. I was really scared my dad and brother would reject me. Everyone assumed I was gay and they were fine with that. But I was afraid coming out as trans would be pushing it too far. It seems silly to have worried about it now but I didn't know. People can be very unpredictable when it comes to a trans child or relative. My mom didn't accept me before I transitioned so I didn't expect her to be supportive but I didn't care that she wasn't.

[Sol]

The thing that held me back the most was fear. Fear that whomever I was seeing would dump me.

I am currently with a really accepting man whom I love with all my heart and he is ok with me transitioning.

[Gertrude]

The relationship with my wife. I don't want to lose her.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Elis]

Hugs  !!! You are strong!

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/12/04/those-who-mind/
1.Do what you want to do, say what you want to say, because those who matter don't mind, and those who do mind don't matter.
2.Say what you want and be who you are, because those who matter don't mind, and those who matter don't mind.
3.Always do what you want, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
4.Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Thanks you're awesome

[DawnOday]

Gertrude...I knew if I started HRT our life would be better. My wife would not have to deal with anger I could not let go of otherwise. When I was young, changing genders was a seldom heard of phenomenon. Renee Richards seemed to be an oddity and we did not hear about others such as Dena who transitioned in the early 80's. Then I saw Christine Cossey and began to believe maybe. Lately I have been seeing things on "YouTube" Princess Joules, Jazz Jennings, Carmen, Candice, Gigi, Janet Mock, Leverne Cox.  The internet is such a wonderful resource  Fear was the biggest reason not to reveal my desires. Being on HRT for 16 months now has mellowed my anger and allows us to talk about things that matter, like girlfriends. If I never present again in public, we have already been rewarded.

[PurpleWolf]

Thanks you're awesome

Well that made me feel awesome, 

[HappyMoni]

I feared hurting my sons. I feared losing every important relationship I had. I lost none in reality.
Moni

[PurpleWolf]

I feared hurting my sons. I feared losing every important relationship I had. I lost none in reality.
Moni

That's great!

[Michelle_P]

Fear.

Fear of losing my family. Fear of losing my friends.

I finally had to face my fear.  I was pushed, actually, by my former spouse. I lost my marriage, my home, some of my family.  None of my few friends from then!

I built new friendships. I have adopted a new family of sorts. My fears were real, but overblown. I'm better now, happier, and on a path to find joy and peace, I think.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Gertrude]

Gertrude...I knew if I started HRT our life would be better. My wife would not have to deal with anger I could not let go of otherwise. When I was young, changing genders was a seldom heard of phenomenon. Renee Richards seemed to be an oddity and we did not hear about others such as Dena who transitioned in the early 80's. Then I saw Christine Cossey and began to believe maybe. Lately I have been seeing things on "YouTube" Princess Joules, Jazz Jennings, Carmen, Candice, Gigi, Janet Mock, Leverne Cox.  The internet is such a wonderful resource  Fear was the biggest reason not to reveal my desires. Being on HRT for 16 months now has mellowed my anger and allows us to talk about things that matter, like girlfriends. If I never present again in public, we have already been rewarded.

She's coming from a place of shame and what others will think, especially her family. The interesting thing is we live thousands of miles from most of them, but she's haunted by her indoctrination/upbringing. My therapist told me this week that I will have to help my family transition as well as myself and in some ways that's harder. The other thing is that she'd have to give up control.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Jessica_Rose]

What held me back? My family. I initially considered transitioning about 15 years ago. I was scared that my father would disown me, and I was worried about what effect this would have on my daughters.

Now my daughters are older (ages 19 and 23) and they have become beautiful, intelligent, emotionally strong young women. I expect this will still have an impact on them, but they are much more capable of handling it now. I will find out soon because I plan to tell them by the end of this month.

I have no idea what my parents will think, but I am no longer worried about their reaction. They will either accept me or they won't. We have a great relationship and hopefully I will be pleasantly surprised by their reaction, but I realize the day I tell them may be they last time I see them.

This may sound selfish, but I realized it is time for me to place my personal well-being at the front of the line.

[PurpleWolf]

This may sound selfish, but I realized it is time for me to place my personal well-being at the front of the line.

That's never selfish!!! You should be your own best friend. You should come first to yourself. If you don't love yourself the most, who will?

[iamthatiam8]

Not knowing who i was or what a man or woman were. Fear never held me back its like my body moved by itself

[TonyaW]

I don't know.

Uncertainty and wife and kids that I was happy with.

Always thought it would be something I could or would do later.  Life happened (wife, kids) and as it became "later", I thought I'd been dealing with it for so long that it was too late and I could survive with out transitioning. 


There was no event that triggered it, but in Sept of last year I couldn't deal with it alone anymore and went to therapist. 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[KathyLauren]

Fear, which was mostly me projecting my internalized transphobia.  I wasn't so much afraid of what others might say or do to me as I was of actually wearing the label.  And then, once I had started to deal with the internal transphobia, it was fear that my wife would leave me.

All the fears turned out to be imaginary.  Nothing bad happened to me.

[Megan.]

Fear that "the sky would fall down", but it's still up there! [emoji4]

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk