What a difference a year makes

[Denise]

For the past three Decembers I've taken a vacation to Tampa/Orlando. 
In 2015:
* I took one or two outfits that Denise would wear
* I flew under a male name
* I went out two evenings or three evenings as Denise (Scared to death)
* Pass?  Ha! Not even a little.  I think one or two nice clerks used "Ma'am"

In 2016:
* I took 50:50 guy:gal clothes
* I flew down as a guy, but flew back as Denise
* I went out about 75% of the time as Denise
* Went to the pool in a tankini that was not well filled out.
* Changed my clothes in the car after leaving my parent's house on my way to 5 days at an Orlando resort
* I passed about 50% of the time ("Can I help you sir/ma'am")

in 2017:
* I no longer own any guy clothes
* My airline tickets are in the name Denise
* I spent three days at my parent's place.  They actually correctly gendered me and when they realized they screwed up they handled it perfectly.
* I have not been misgendered at all (NOT ONCE!) since in Orlando and I'm at the airport waiting for my flight now after 5 wonderful days.

I guess my point is, everyone transitions at their own pace and mine was pretty quick.  But it still took 2 years from the first journey out in public until I was comfortable and accepted.  It doesn't happen overnight and there are a lot of setbacks and bumps along the way.  Smile, learn from each event.  Have fun with your transition.  We are unique in that we get the opportunity to see the world from both sides of the fence.  ENJOY!

[C. Raine]

For the past three Decembers I've taken a vacation to Tampa/Orlando. 
In 2015:
* I took one or two outfits that Denise would wear
* I flew under a male name
* I went out two evenings or three evenings as Denise (Scared to death)
* Pass?  Ha! Not even a little.  I think one or two nice clerks used "Ma'am"

In 2016:
* I took 50:50 guy:gal clothes
* I flew down as a guy, but flew back as Denise
* I went out about 75% of the time as Denise
* Went to the pool in a tankini that was not well filled out.
* Changed my clothes in the car after leaving my parent's house on my way to 5 days at an Orlando resort
* I passed about 50% of the time ("Can I help you sir/ma'am")

in 2017:
* I no longer own any guy clothes
* My airline tickets are in the name Denise
* I spent three days at my parent's place.  They actually correctly gendered me and when they realized they screwed up they handled it perfectly.
* I have not been misgendered at all (NOT ONCE!) since in Orlando and I'm at the airport waiting for my flight now after 5 wonderful days.

I guess my point is, everyone transitions at their own pace and mine was pretty quick.  But it still took 2 years from the first journey out in public until I was comfortable and accepted.  It doesn't happen overnight and there are a lot of setbacks and bumps along the way.  Smile, learn from each event.  Have fun with your transition.  We are unique in that we get the opportunity to see the world from both sides of the fence.  ENJOY!

So true! I love it! Perfectly written!

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[Rachel]

Awesome Denise.

[Jailyn]

Denise this is very true and I love hearing everyone's stories. Gives me grounding and reference for myself.

[Denise]

Denise this is very true and I love hearing everyone's stories. Gives me grounding and reference for myself.

That's why I share them.  I know when I started I wanted stories that explained time in the sense of transition.  I hope this helps. 

Things start rough and sometimes gets tougher but then gets better

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[Allison S]

That's very positive news indeed [emoji4]

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[Kc1058]

Excellent to hear Denise! It gives me hope as I am still presenting male 100% of the time (although I hope for that to change soon). One, of the many rivers to cross (thank you Annie Lennox) is prioritizing and knowing that nothing happens overnight, as much as any of us, wishes it would.Acceptance of self and of specific situations make everyone's timeline different.
Thank you for giving perspective and showing how to have patience. 

[steph2.0]

For the past three Decembers I've taken a vacation to Tampa/Orlando. 
In 2015:
* I took one or two outfits that Denise would wear
* I flew under a male name
* I went out two evenings or three evenings as Denise (Scared to death)
* Pass?  Ha! Not even a little.  I think one or two nice clerks used "Ma'am"

In 2016:
* I took 50:50 guy:gal clothes
* I flew down as a guy, but flew back as Denise
* I went out about 75% of the time as Denise
* Went to the pool in a tankini that was not well filled out.
* Changed my clothes in the car after leaving my parent's house on my way to 5 days at an Orlando resort
* I passed about 50% of the time ("Can I help you sir/ma'am")

in 2017:
* I no longer own any guy clothes
* My airline tickets are in the name Denise
* I spent three days at my parent's place.  They actually correctly gendered me and when they realized they screwed up they handled it perfectly.
* I have not been misgendered at all (NOT ONCE!) since in Orlando and I'm at the airport waiting for my flight now after 5 wonderful days.

I guess my point is, everyone transitions at their own pace and mine was pretty quick.  But it still took 2 years from the first journey out in public until I was comfortable and accepted.  It doesn't happen overnight and there are a lot of setbacks and bumps along the way.  Smile, learn from each event.  Have fun with your transition.  We are unique in that we get the opportunity to see the world from both sides of the fence.  ENJOY!

Hi Denise!

I guess I shouldn't complain then that I still get misgendered occasionally, considering that I've only been at this since May. It can never happen fast enough I guess. Give me patience NOW!

I'm still buzzing from our meetup. Wish we could have hung out longer. I couldn't imagine anybody misgendering you now. If they did, I'd suggest they get their eyesight, or even their whole head examined.

Stay warm up there in the Windy City!

Stephanie

[jessica95]

For the past three Decembers I've taken a vacation to Tampa/Orlando. 
In 2015:
* I took one or two outfits that Denise would wear
* I flew under a male name
* I went out two evenings or three evenings as Denise (Scared to death)
* Pass?  Ha! Not even a little.  I think one or two nice clerks used "Ma'am"

In 2016:
* I took 50:50 guy:gal clothes
* I flew down as a guy, but flew back as Denise
* I went out about 75% of the time as Denise
* Went to the pool in a tankini that was not well filled out.
* Changed my clothes in the car after leaving my parent's house on my way to 5 days at an Orlando resort
* I passed about 50% of the time ("Can I help you sir/ma'am")

in 2017:
* I no longer own any guy clothes
* My airline tickets are in the name Denise
* I spent three days at my parent's place.  They actually correctly gendered me and when they realized they screwed up they handled it perfectly.
* I have not been misgendered at all (NOT ONCE!) since in Orlando and I'm at the airport waiting for my flight now after 5 wonderful days.

I guess my point is, everyone transitions at their own pace and mine was pretty quick.  But it still took 2 years from the first journey out in public until I was comfortable and accepted.  It doesn't happen overnight and there are a lot of setbacks and bumps along the way.  Smile, learn from each event.  Have fun with your transition.  We are unique in that we get the opportunity to see the world from both sides of the fence.  ENJOY!

Good, to hear that you have it so great.  A year,  a decade, or 22 years, make a big difference

[Denise]

.... I couldn't imagine anybody misgendering you now. If they did, I'd suggest they get their eyesight, or even their whole head examined.

Stay warm up there in the Windy City!

The last time a stranger misgender me was at a Best Buy while I was buying a Blu-ray player.  And I asked "do I really look like a guy?" His response "sorry I couldn't tell."
Argh-open your eyes!

Burrrr.  At least I missed the real cold last week.  It was nice doing lunch.  I'll let you know the next time I'm in town.

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[Virginia 71]

It is very helpful to hear something like this when one is just starting transition!

So much I have not figured out and a few months to go before changes have people asking questions. What do I tell work? My neighbors? Family?

So...hearing that it gets better with time is a fantastic thing!



v

[Denise]

It is very helpful to hear something like this when one is just starting transition!

So much I have not figured out and a few months to go before changes have people asking questions. What do I tell work? My neighbors? Family?

So...hearing that it gets better with time is a fantastic thing!



v

Thank you for the affirmation on this post.

What I told family, friends or work... Was the same.  I asked if they had ever heard of Gender Dysphoria.  Then I told them that I was diagnosed with it and had struggled with it since I was 4.

Things do get better but it was and still is a roller coaster of emotions (which, at times, I enjoy)

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[rainecloude]

Hi Denise,

I'm so happy for you. This made me smile and feel very optimistic. When you are first starting out your insides can change so quickly and your brain is like "Ok! I'm a woman. I've come to terms with it, let's start living" and your body is like "Nope. You're gonna do this as slowly as possible!"

Can't wait to feel more confident about "passing".

Much love. <3

[Denise]

Well I guess the year is still going.

Today I had a wellness check.  This is the first time I'll been to this doctor in two years.  I had updated their records online with the new name last week.  So the clerical/nurse staff only saw Denise/Female on everything.

The nurse went through all the normal questions, smoke, aches/pains, "are you still having your cycle?"

"Umm... Excuse me."

"Are you still having periods?"

I laughed and said "you do know I'm transgender, right?"

"You're what? No way"

I wanted to give her a big kiss.

Then the doctor came in and after the exam said "if I didn't know you before, there is no way I would know.  I don't see any guy left."

I wanted to kiss him too.  I am one of four transgender patients (2 in each direction).  I doubt I'll see him again as he is back in the town I just moved out of.  Oh well.

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[steph2.0]

I laughed and said "you do know I'm transgender, right?"

"You're what? No way"

Then the doctor came in and after the exam said "if I didn't know you before, there is no way I would know.  I don't see any guy left."

That's awesome, Denise! But after meeting you, I'd be more surprised if it went any other way.

Steph

[Denise]

That's awesome, Denise! But after meeting you, I'd be more surprised if it went any other way.

Steph

You are too kind.  I don't see it as strongly as others do.  Thanks

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