lonely times that seem to never end

[jainie marlena]

I think this is the one reason I am here today. I don't really have anyone I feel would understand other then people that can relate to me. I feel stuck without someone to just be with and spend time with. I have been single forever it seems to me. I have been raising my younger son. The other 4 are pretty much grown. I do have a fear of not being able to find anyone around here. The boot heel  of Missouri sucks when it comes to finding people that can relate to me. I set up a support group on facebook, Trans Missouri but most all of the members are up north. Any way here I am wondering how to deal with my loneliness.

[Jessica]

Hi Janie.  It must be rough in that neck of the woods.  Actual physical contact with like minded people can be a challenge anywhere though.  I have found a family atmosphere here at Susan's and have found a virtual sisterhood that has your back. Hopefully though, in one of the larger towns, you may find a support group that will give the hug we all need at times.  I do understand that need.

Hugs, Jessica 🤷‍♀️

[jainie marlena]

Hi Janie.  It must be rough in that neck of the woods.  Actual physical contact with like minded people can be a challenge anywhere though.  I have found a family atmosphere here at Susan's and have found a virtual sisterhood that has your back. Hopefully though, in one of the larger towns, you may find a support group that will give the hug we all need at times.  I do understand that need.

Hugs, Jessica 🤷‍♀️

Thank you! Your words and hugs are very helpful to me.  I missed coming to Susan's.

[Laurie]

Hi Jainie,

  I'm Laurie. I am glad to see you here. Welcome back! ((Hug)) You've been away for a pretty long time and are the third  I have welcomed back recently. I wish it was under better circumstances though. Unfortunately loneliness is something a great many of us experience. I find my friends here at Susan's also. I barely know any of my neighbors in my apartment complex enough to say hi. The closest one of my trans friends I have that would give me a hug is 100 miles away. Unfortunately when I could really use a hug I feel I am not fit company for anyone. My social life consists of doctors, therapists, and my electrologist and Susan's. So you might say I sort of know what you mean. I have no intimate friends and don't expect that to change.
  I'm not claiming to know your exact circumstances but I do understand being alone. I hope by coming here you are able to feel less lonely. We sure have a good group of friendly folk here. So join in and get to know us as we get to know you.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Laurie]

 Sorry I forgot. I wanted to tell you I have a friend in Dexter I stopped in and met my last road trip through that neck of the woods I have been through that neck of the woods on two different road trips and could be going that way on my next. I have fore friends who claim to have adopted me and are therefore family over  north of Springfield. I visit with them on every road trip so far. I get around when I can afford it and the roads aren't bad.

Hugs again,
  Laurie

[Jessica]

Hi Jainie,

  I'm Laurie. I am glad to see you here. Welcome back! ((Hug)) You've been away for a pretty long time and are the third  I have welcomed back recently. I wish it was under better circumstances though. Unfortunately loneliness is something a great many of us experience. I find my friends here at Susan's also. I barely know any of my neighbors in my apartment complex enough to say hi. The closest one of my trans friends I have that would give me a hug is 100 miles away. Unfortunately when I could really use a hug I feel I am not fit company for anyone. My social life consists of doctors, therapists, and my electrologist and Susan's. So you might say I sort of know what you mean. I have no intimate friends and don't expect that to change.
  I'm not claiming to know your exact circumstances but I do understand being alone. I hope by coming here you are able to feel less lonely. We sure have a good group of friendly folk here. So join in and get to know us as we get to know you.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Oh my, I wish I could hug you both tightly.  It is a necessity for well being.  I pray you both find the human touch you deserve.

Double hugs with tears, Jessica 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

[jainie marlena]

Sorry I forgot. I wanted to tell you I have a friend in Dexter I stopped in and met my last road trip through that neck of the woods I have been through that neck of the woods on two different road trips and could be going that way on my next. I have fore friends who claim to have adopted me and are therefore family over  north of Springfield. I visit with them on every road trip so far. I get around when I can afford it and the roads aren't bad.

Hugs again,
  Laurie

Dexter is just 9 mile west of Sikeston. I am up by cape Girardeau. 35 mile north from Sikeston. it is pretty close to me. it would be great to meet someone new and chat. 

[Laurie]

Dexter is just 9 mile west of Sikeston. I am up by cape Girardeau. 35 mile north from Sikeston. it is pretty close to me. it would be great to meet someone new and chat. 

  Well you better stick around and stay in touch if you want a chance at that happening. I'm promising nothing but I have been known to drop in on people with only a day or two notice.
  Last trip I made was to Maine and back. I was away from home for 31 days and I met 10 people I had only met online previously. It was all documented in one thread here at Susan's. I had many friends traveling with me vicariously. For me it was a life changing journey as I left a novice at being dressed in public and returned as a full time transwoman. I had only intended to make it to Denver dressed but wound up having changed into male mode only twice on the way out. A different person returned home thanks to all the girls from Susan's I had met along the way.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Yakayla]

I have one idea where you could maybe met some people. Cause it sounds like you could use some girlfriends. Have you tried going to a lesbian bar? Though they can't completely related to you. They still have to go through some of the same hoops. We both had to come out and they always have to deal with a lot of stereotypes of what a woman is supposed to be. My best friend is a lesbian, and she is super supportive. And it's nice to have support from people that don't fully get it too. Cause you know that they are trying their hardest to understand you. And some of the questions you get asked are downright funny. "Does that mean your gay... I mean you only like men.. or would that make you straight? Sorry I don't really know what transgender is. Wait so you're a ladyboy? I'm sorry I really don't want to offend you. I feel dumb for not knowing" That question came from my boss, and yes that was one single question.

[jainie marlena]

I have one idea where you could maybe met some people. Cause it sounds like you could use some girlfriends. Have you tried going to a lesbian bar? Though they can't completely related to you. They still have to go through some of the same hoops. We both had to come out and they always have to deal with a lot of stereotypes of what a woman is supposed to be. My best friend is a lesbian, and she is super supportive. And it's nice to have support from people that don't fully get it too. Cause you know that they are trying their hardest to understand you. And some of the questions you get asked are downright funny. "Does that mean your gay... I mean you only like men.. or would that make you straight? Sorry I don't really know what transgender is. Wait so you're a ladyboy? I'm sorry I really don't want to offend you. I feel dumb for not knowing" That question came from my boss, and yes that was one single question.

LOL. Lesbian bar, maybe years back. I was married for 18 years and at this point I shifted in my attraction to men. I draw all kinds of them but all I want is a hug and touch. I played around a little with a guy at work or two but I really just need someone to spend time with. Well, a partner that wants to be with me, sit with, talk to me and get to the other stuff latter. Gosh! LOL. I sound like my ex-wife now. Attracted to both but mostly men. 

[Allison S]

I can relate I feel lonely most of the time since I'm not presenting yet. I see friends once on weekends usually but that seems so fleeting. I think if I started taking on more hobbies outside of my home I could meet people. Maybe that's something you could try too?

I feel the same with guys it's fun to do things but I don't want just sex. I don't known if I want a relationship either. I think I'm confused lol

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[Yakayla]

LOL. Lesbian bar, maybe years back. I was married for 18 years and at this point I shifted in my attraction to men. I draw all kinds of them but all I want is a hug and touch. I played around a little with a guy at work or two but I really just need someone to spend time with. Well, a partner that wants to be with me, sit with, talk to me and get to the other stuff latter. Gosh! LOL. I sound like my ex-wife now. Attracted to both but mostly men. 

I was only only talking about getting some more friend not hooking you up on a date But if you want to met some nice single guys, hit the grocery store. Find a cute guy picking out some veggies, cause you know they can actually cook. Just strike up a conversation, and you know be a little flirty, show the goods a little. And you look a lot like my creative writing teacher. I loved that crap out of her. She had such a beautiful soul.

[JoniComeLately]

Hello everyone:
I'm new here, but I understand exactly how hard it is to escape the loneliness that comes with being trans. I'm still in the very early stages of my journey, but the lack of direct human contact is so painful. I wish I could give all of you a great big hug, but reading your stories does at least let me know that I'm not alone.


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[jessica95]

I think this is the one reason I am here today. I don't really have anyone I feel would understand other then people that can relate to me. I feel stuck without someone to just be with and spend time with. I have been single forever it seems to me. I have been raising my younger son. The other 4 are pretty much grown. I do have a fear of not being able to find anyone around here. The boot heel  of Missouri sucks when it comes to finding people that can relate to me. I set up a support group on facebook, Trans Missouri but most all of the members are up north. Any way here I am wondering how to deal with my loneliness.

Hmm, i am not an expert. But please fight hard and dont give up, i am sure you will stop being lonely one day!. 

[jainie marlena]

@dist123 I am a more out going person then I used to be. When I feel I like someone I do strike up some kind of conversation. A personal hobbie I have is stone carving. I sold a lot of jewelry I made from stone but it gets to demanding for me and I stop. It was my conversational piece for awhile.
I feel same on being confused about what I want and it is that that maybe keeping me where I am on this. I want to make friends but I want a relationship but I am not sure I want a relationship because I was married for so long. I don't want that agian but I do. I sit here and another year roles by and I am feeling the same way.

@Yakayla I know you where talking about just getting some more friends. I was speaking out of my own confusion. I will thank you for the complament about looking  "a lot like my creative writing teacher." Three of my favorite words that come up a lot in my own writing.

@JoniComeLately you are right your not alone and maybe that is what I needed to hear again. A lot has changed and people do treat me more with respect then they did years ago after starting my own journey. I am making friends but they are not close to me and is that closeness I think I want. You know friends that are more like a familiy to me. okay, I do feel better chatting here with everone. I really needed this, thanks!

[elkie-t]

A friend of mine recommended going to dance classes to meet dateable partners. Something in dancing makes people to warm up to other people near them.


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[jainie marlena]

@jessica95 I'm past the hard fight. It has been more of a flow to me kind of thing but the flow has just slowed down or something. Maybe I am at a what to do now kind of thing?

@elkie-t Dancing is not something I like to do well unless I am alone and no one is around watching me of course. It is a good idea for those that like it. I have been thinking about giving things that I once did not like a secound change to see if I have changed my mind on it. You know like I hated onions when I was a kid but I tried them again when I was older to realize I like them now kind of thing.

[tgirlamg]

Hi Janie!!!

I'm sorry you are finding this piece of the puzzle a bit challenging at the moment but, I am supremely confident you will find the path that leads to the destination you wish to find...

I thought, early in my transition, that although I was making the right decision for me... I was likely also choosing what would prove to be a pretty lonely road in life, relationship-wise...
Happily, I was wrong!!!! I am happily married to the greatest guy in the world after a 50 year plus lifetime of relationships with women

I think this is one of the parts of the process where perseverance is a big part of the equation!!!

Don't give up or feel defeated...This is something you want to change so see that change as your goal... find new ways to interact with more and more people... meetup groups... online dating... jewelry selling / mineral shows... when you see someone who could be a "maybe" ... keep striking up a conversations like you have been doing and see where things go....consider relocating to an area more conducive to your needs perhaps!... It all takes a bit of risk putting yourself out there ...subject to some level of rejection for sure but, nothing ventured, nothing gained!!! You aren't here to be lonely... transition is about connecting our true self with others and the world!

Don't take rejection to heart, just consider it a part of the process of finding what you want!!!

Onward brave sister!!!

Hugs!!!

Ashley 😀❤️🌻

[jainie marlena]

"I'm sorry you are finding this piece of the puzzle a bit challenging at the moment but, I am supremely confident you will find the path that leads to the destination you wish to find..."-tgirlamc
@tgirlamc I like the puzzle piece metaphor. True, it has been a challenge for me. I was pretty close to betting that puzzle piece into whatever spot I could find but I know that does not work or make the big picture look right in the end. You also remind me of my own puzzle metaphor. Sometime it is best to put the puzzle piece down and work on something else until the spot reveals it self along the way.

[tgirlamg]

Sometimes when we look the least... We find the most!

A😀