What's the worst/weirdest Christmas gift you've recieved?

[Julia1996]

When I was very young (4or5) my grandmother (the mean one) gave me a shoehorn with a brush on the other side.  I wanted a toy.  She was well off, we were dirt poor.

That is so sad! Poor thing. Hugs.

[Dee Marshall]

Personal stuff besides tampons, adult diapers, etc is a good gift. My brother wraps everything he puts in the box and then wraps the big box. That's a cute idea.  Speaking of personal gifts, when Tyler was 16 my dad put a box of rubbers in his stocking. He told Tyler he wanted him to have and use them because he was too young to be a grandpa. Lol.

The same person who gave me the fleshlight for my birthday gave our son a box of condoms for his bar mitzvah.

The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.

[natalie.ashlyne]

One of the girls I work with gave me a glass butt plug

[Julia1996]

One of the girls I work with gave me a glass butt plug

Lol, that's one place you don't need glass slivers.

[PurpleWolf]

OMG I came here coz I wanted to do a similar thread,  !!!! Exactly the same!!!!

Coz I wanted to share this!

I haven't read the others yet but... I think this comes to close topping everyone!!!

My family has a tradition of handing some little gifts for everyone at first and everyone opens them at the same time etc. It's like 'for starters' before the actual gifts. So usually they are some little stuff etc.

Well, after coming out (!) one Xmas my sister gives me the 'first gift' and guess what it is?!! It's ugly women's white cotton panties. Worse still: She tells me she bought them for herself but decided to give them to me coz they didn't fit  ! That must be by far the worst Christmas starter ever (and the worst gift ever I've received)!!! You can guess that put me in some foul mood.......

They were like in a packaging that was already opened coz she had tried them on,  !!!

Top that if you can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that was after they all knew I was a guy,  !!!!!! Welcome to my oh, so thoughtful family... Soon after that I stopped spending Xmas with them altogether. It's just me & my SO. And we are bloody enjoying it that way!!!

(Did I already tell you that my sis is over 20 years older than me?)

If there's a way to totally invalidate a trans guy, that would be it.

[PurpleWolf]

The fleshlight post reminded me of something but I didn't know if it was appropriate to share. I guess it is, it's gross but funny. Our old vacuum was a canister. I started noticing a nasty odor everytime I used it. I would put a clean bag in it but it would still smell bad everytime I used it. My dad noticed too when he used it to clean his car. I couldn't figure out what was causing the smell. Well I found out! My brother had been using the vacuum for self pleasure! He would take off the hose and put Mr. Happy in the opening. Of course his...seed got sucked into the bag. He must have done it a lot to cause an odor! My mom came home early one day and caught him red handed. Of course she told my dad and I what she caught him doing. He was about 14 at the time and embarrassed doesn't cover how he felt. Lol

I'm starting to feel sorry for your brother  !!!!!!!!
Is that true?!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are expanding my lifespan for making me laugh so!!!!

[PurpleWolf]

My dad buys everything last minute out of a magazine, the Heartland catalog or something like that. One year, he gave me 4 DVD set of 100 "classic" movies from up through the 50's or so. At first I thought "hey, this isn't bad", but then I began to look at the movies. I had heard of none of them--and I know movies. 100 films, and only one or two even had filled out IMDB pages. This was the classic movie equivalent of releasing a "modern" box set including Carnosaur, and Spartan... but worse because I actually could name those movies, they were just bad.

!!!

[PurpleWolf]

It was close topping until I saw the maxi pads... ! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

Forgot to mention that my dad remembered me one xmas with a stack of copy paper. That was actually quite a good gift from him (he usually didn't give me anything personally, he let my mom buy all the gifts that weren't that good either). Since I like to draw and stuff, that was actually useful. Everyone needs copy paper, right?

After that I think he has given me copy paper some other years too.

[Julia1996]

I'm starting to feel sorry for your brother  !!!!!!!!
Is that true?!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are expanding my lifespan for making me laugh so!!!!

Yes, sadly enough it's true. I guess horny teenage boys get inventive when it comes to self gratifying. How he ever got the idea to use the vacuum I don't know. It's not like he had ever used it. Well for its intended purpose anyway. But I had fun with it. Anytime we were at a store and got close to a vacuum display I would tell him to control himself and not get too worked up. Lol

[PurpleWolf]

Yes, sadly enough it's true. I guess horny teenage boys get inventive when it comes to self gratifying. How he ever got the idea to use the vacuum I don't know. It's not like he had ever used it. Well for its intended purpose anyway. But I had fun with it. Anytime we were at a store and got close to a vacuum display I would tell him to control himself and not get too worked up. Lol

!!!
Vacuum is a cliche!!! I just didn't know actually people use it!!!

[V M]

The fleshlight post reminded me of something but I didn't know if it was appropriate to share. I guess it is, it's gross but funny. Our old vacuum was a canister. I started noticing a nasty odor everytime I used it. I would put a clean bag in it but it would still smell bad everytime I used it. My dad noticed too when he used it to clean his car. I couldn't figure out what was causing the smell. Well I found out! My brother had been using the vacuum for self pleasure! He would take off the hose and put Mr. Happy in the opening. Of course his...seed got sucked into the bag. He must have done it a lot to cause an odor! My mom came home early one day and caught him red handed. Of course she told my dad and I what she caught him doing. He was about 14 at the time and embarrassed doesn't cover how he felt. Lol

I would imagine that getting caught must have SUCKED the most 

Recently the worst I've gotten was a four pack of Play-Doh

[Julia1996]

!!!
Vacuum is a cliche!!! I just didn't know actually people use it!!!

I wouldn't have thought someone would actually do that either. One of his dumb friends probably had done it and told Tyler about it.  What I can't figure out is how he didn't get instant SRS. Doesn't a vacuum make suction with a fan? I would think anything you stick in the suction hole of a vacuum would get shredded.

[Julia1996]

I would imagine that getting caught must have SUCKED the most 

Recently the worst I've gotten was a four pack of Play-Doh

Play-Doh??? That's too funny! What were you supposed to do with play-Doh?? Lol.

[V M]

Play-Doh??? That's too funny! What were you supposed to do with play-Doh?? Lol.

Right? I gave it to a couple of children, their mother said that she would probably play with it most and in somewhat knowing the gal I completely believe her LOL

[natalie.ashlyne]

Lol, that's one place you don't need glass slivers.

Lol Ya that is what I thought it is heavy solid totally smooth  and cold very cold but is very colourful

[Cindy]

As a child of about 8-9? somewhere around that age. I got a left hand plastic washing glove carefully wrapped in Christmas paper and placed under the tree from my Aunty Marg. I still recall it. I remember my Mum being quite vocal and saying words that I didn't understand, I have banned them from use on the site!

Then again, I remember the present and her. So was it the worse present??

[Sol]

Every year without fail my mother would use christmas to try to "change" me into a sweet girl. So I would get dresses, girlfriend mags, scrapbooking supplies, body stuff.

The worst however was the gift one year of 3 months in finishing school.

[Bari Jo]

Well, that was a foot in mouth moment for me. (By way of explanation, I have a vendetta against David Mamet. )

No worries, I've worked on far worse too, plus I'm still proud of the work I did in it, invisible effects, that nobody would notice an being fabricated.  Mamet is actually one of the nicest guys I've met in this business.  There are true terrible people, but not him.

Back on topic.  For a Xmas secret Santa a coworker gave me chocolate covered cherries since that was his favorite candy.  It's one of the few things that makes me want to come by taste it even smell.  Then he insisted that we have one together.  Me being nice I did.  I can still taste it, the rising bile.  Eef:)

Eef, I can't believe someone bought a glass butt plug as a gift.  Even as art, that's tacky.  Now a gift certificate from your favorite adult novelty store, that's a friend for life!

Bari Jo

[Julia1996]

No worries, I've worked on far worse too, plus I'm still proud of the work I did in it, invisible effects, that nobody would notice an being fabricated.  Mamet is actually one of the nicest guys I've met in this business.  There are true terrible people, but not him.

Back on topic.  For a Xmas secret Santa a coworker gave me chocolate covered cherries since that was his favorite candy.  It's one of the few things that makes me want to come by taste it even smell.  Then he insisted that we have one together.  Me being nice I did.  I can still taste it, the rising bile.  Eef:)

Eef, I can't believe someone bought a glass butt plug as a gift.  Even as art, that's tacky.  Now a gift certificate from your favorite adult novelty store, that's a friend for life!

Bari Jo

A coworker gave me chocolate covered coffee beans once. OMG, how disgusting!  I love my morning coffee but I don't want to chomp on coffee beans. Just Ewww! I had never heard of such a thing but she told me chocolate covered coffee beans were a thing among gourmets.  Why???

[Roll]

No worries, I've worked on far worse too, plus I'm still proud of the work I did in it, invisible effects, that nobody would notice an being fabricated.  Mamet is actually one of the nicest guys I've met in this business.  There are true terrible people, but not him.

Not to go super off topic, but...

I've heard that about him, actually. And to be fair, I generally take issue with a lot of the critical darlings, so it's not just Mamet specific. With Mamet, what drives me nuts that everyone is in love with and talks about how realistic "mamet speak" is, but I find it extraordinarily contrived. (In contrast I always mention Tarantino, who has contrived dialogue on purpose that has no pretense of being realistic.) Heist was what turned me against him so everything after that was just tinged with bias derived from it, and he has yet to redeem himself to me. I actually liked almost all of his earlier stuff a lot, even Ronin. (Though I still think he was the wrong person to write Hannibal, even if it wasn't a bad movie.)

I'm a total wannabe film critic. I remember when I saw Scream 2, and they had the scene with the film school kids talking about sequels near the beginning. I smacked myself in my head and said "oh god, is that what I sound like?". The answer was yes, yes it was.