questions

[cherrylust]

i've been out as trans to my family for quite a while now (a year on jan. 24) and i feel like i've made no progress. they always tell me how i'm not old enough or whatever etc etc and apparently my mom is going to try and get me on hormones via insurance for free but she keeps saying it and it never happens. i'm 14 and almost 15 and i really want to get going.

what's worse is that my dysphoria literally is so intense everyday. especially around my shoulders and neck and everyone tells me that it's fine but to me it doesn't seem fine and it's just ugh. i started crying today cause i felt like my shoulders were too big in the bathroom, and they don't even feel that huge but whenever i look at them they do? i feel like i could have some illness where i imagine my body being a lot worse than it is or maybe that's just wishful thinking. i'm 5'11 and i feel so much pressure to be skinnier and losing weight is such a big hassle which is another conversation.

the thing that scares me the most though is what comes AFTER? like at school i don't want to be out, i want to present as male until i graduate but breast development kinda scares me. i just know it'd be better for me to be closeted at school because at least then i'd feel safer. i'm really timid so i feel like it'd scare me a lot.

i just feel like there's no happy ending and i just really don't know what to do.

[Girlysoul]

""the thing that scares me the most though is what comes AFTER? like at school i don't want to be out, i want to present as male until i graduate but breast development kinda scares me. i just know it'd be better for me to be closeted at school because at least then i'd feel safer. i'm really timid so i feel like it'd scare me a lot.""

Hi, girl you have got some extra thoughts try to relieve them and RELAX! The biggest thing about coming out is infront of family and you already went through that phase and you are 100% safe. Trust me if you come out right now at your school days nothing happens trust me. Ok suppose what could be the worst? Are you scared of bullying? If you face any discrimination or something try to reach lgbt center nearby. They can consult with your school management your parents.

Baby, this life is so short to be closeted! Enjoy every moment as who you are! Don't pretend just be you!

My best wishes and love is always with you. Take care honey and keep on updating you situation.


Hugs and love,
Cedie

[Jessica]

Hi Cherry 🙋‍♀️ Welcome to Susan's!  I'm Jessica an official greeter here.  Finding an even balance can be hard to come by.  I'll post some links to help you get acquainted to the site.  Answers can come from many sources with the experience of many individuals.

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[SadieBlake]

Cherry, now would be a really good time to get onto a testosterone blocker. You might look for an LGBT center for help with that and you may also be able to get that from planned Parenthood.

Best wishes, feel free to reach out.

S

[Yakayla]

I kinda get where your parents are coming from. I made a lot of stupid mistakes til I was about 22. And lots of teens go through phases where you're still trying to discover who you are. But with this kinda thing, if you're sure you know, you know. You just have to find a way to prove that you're being serious and this isn't gonna change.

And I get wanting to hide it from high school. I would have run into a lot of problems at mine. We had only two gays in our entire school, which is statistically impossible. But you have to figure out what is more important to you. If you start now, ya you might run into some problems at school, but you will get to be yourself and find true friends that accept you for who you are. And being the shy type, I doubt you need to have 30 friends.

Your not gonna be able to change your body completely without doing drastic surgery. And you aren't the only one that would like to change something about their body. I mean like, that's kinda what we are all about here. But it is your body, and your features is what makes you unique. Don't focus on the flaws but on the positives. Like ya I have broad shoulders and size 13 shoes. But I have beautiful eyelashes, a cute smile, and a nice butt. And that's what I care about more.

[elkie-t]

i've been out as trans to my family for quite a while now (a year on jan. 24) and i feel like i've made no progress. they always tell me how i'm not old enough or whatever etc etc and apparently my mom is going to try and get me on hormones via insurance for free but she keeps saying it and it never happens. i'm 14 and almost 15 and i really want to get going.

what's worse is that my dysphoria literally is so intense everyday. especially around my shoulders and neck and everyone tells me that it's fine but to me it doesn't seem fine and it's just ugh. i started crying today cause i felt like my shoulders were too big in the bathroom, and they don't even feel that huge but whenever i look at them they do? i feel like i could have some illness where i imagine my body being a lot worse than it is or maybe that's just wishful thinking. i'm 5'11 and i feel so much pressure to be skinnier and losing weight is such a big hassle which is another conversation.

the thing that scares me the most though is what comes AFTER? like at school i don't want to be out, i want to present as male until i graduate but breast development kinda scares me. i just know it'd be better for me to be closeted at school because at least then i'd feel safer. i'm really timid so i feel like it'd scare me a lot.

i just feel like there's no happy ending and i just really don't know what to do.

a) Try to make sure your mother isn't stalking you with promises. Ask about puberty blockers asap, explain her how they are not female hormones and won't make you into a girl, try to get her to actually schedule an appointment to a doctor asap.

b) you probably were scared about coming out to your parents. Coming out at school is not less scary, but once it's done it won't be a secret any longer and it would become an old news very soon. You won't be treated as a guy any more, but you will find some new friends who would accept you. The sooner you come out into the open everywhere, the sooner you can start building your new life without fear.

[rainification]

One thing: there is a lot of pressure to be skinny, especially on young girls like yourself, and you've probably heard this countless times before but avoid doing anything unhealthy or excessive to lose weight. But since you're young, I don't suggest at all that you try losing weight unless your doctor has told you that you should. If your doctor says you're at a completely healthy weight, then rock having that healthy body. Our bodies while they are healthy may not be what society tells us is a beautiful body or what society tells us is right, but the most beautiful bodies are the ones that have beautiful souls in them. As for being scared to come out at school- same, girl. We're the same age and I'm planning on coming out to everyone in March as FtM. I've been terrified and completely dreading it, but I know in the long run it'll feel more right to just tell the world who I am. To face my fear, I've been trying to keep this in mind: when you're terrified, the goal can't always be to not be terrified, but sometimes the goal just needs to be to be completely terrified but walk right into the storm anyways. A rickety bridge is the only way across, but the other side is beautiful.