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Triggered words?

Started by Christy Lee, December 26, 2017, 12:56:47 AM

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Christy Lee

Are there any words that worsen your disphoria? for me living currently as a boy, where everybody currently knows me as a boy, the phrase MAN UP always triggers my disphoria off, i always think UMM but i dont want to MAN UP im really a girl inside howww can i woman up?
Whose that girll?
ITS CHRISTY

02/05/2018
Started Therapy
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Julia1996

I despise the term " man up". Whenever someone said that to me it made me hostile. Two that I really hated and caused intense dysphoria were "little dude" and " bro". Both would make my skin crawl. My brother called me " little dude" but after he found out what a Smurf was ,he liked that better and started calling me Smurf. He still does actually.  One of my brother's friends used to use Bro in every sentence. One day I told him he had no idea what a brainless idiot he sounded like saying bro all the time. He did stop using it so much after that.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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Shambles

Dont worry i know you cant do X well, ...
.... your a man after all
.... your only man

Daughter brings me a pic of thr family shes drawn.... i have no hair


                   
- Jo / Joanna

Pre-HRT Trans-Fem
16th Nov 17 - Came out to myself
7th Jan 18 - Came out to wife
31st Jan 18 - Referred to GIC / might be seen in 2020
Oct 18 - Fully out at one job, part out at another
Nov 18 - Out to close family
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Kc1058

"Sir".


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KarynMcD

Yeah. I always hated "man up." I would think, "No thanks. I'm good."

I was discussing with a friend about the benefits and downsides of switching to injections from taking pills.
She says, "Man up. Takes the shots."
I answer "Really! Man up?"
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Julia1996

Quote from: KarynMcD on December 26, 2017, 02:04:16 PM
Yeah. I always hated "man up." I would think, "No thanks. I'm good."

I was discussing with a friend about the benefits and downsides of switching to injections from taking pills.
She says, "Man up. Takes the shots."
I answer "Really! Man up?"

Oh I know. That's so annoying!  My dad and brother really never said " man up" to me. But my uncle and grandpa said it all the time. I would just say "no thank you" or " I think not".
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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Charlie Nicki

"hey man"
"Hey bro"
"Hey dude"

Etc. It bothers me when men treat me like that cuz deep down I want them to treat me in a nice and loving way like they do with women.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.
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Sephirah

Quote from: Christy Lee on December 26, 2017, 12:56:47 AM
Are there any words that worsen your disphoria?

Not anymore, no.

I've gotten to a point where I realise that the things people say are usually coming from a place within them, and very little to do with you. I've learned in my life to cut people a lot of slack. They don't feel the things I feel. A lot of the time they don't understand. And that isn't their fault. It isn't anyone's fault. It is what it is. It doesn't change who I am, so I don't let it bother me. Because doing so isn't going to change anything. Other than make me feel bad. And there's enough to do that already.

Stuff only gets to you if you let it. That was a long, hard, painful lesson. But one I think I've finally learned. It's possible to control the way you feel about things and how you let them affect you. Not easy, but possible. I suppose it helps that my dysphoria was never really social. It was almost entirely physical. A lot of the time I could forgive people because my belief in myself outweighed it all. And I was always more "I don't need to you to see, as long as I see." And when I didn't... that was what triggered me. More than probably anything. And hard. I don't care what the world thinks of me, I care more about what I think of myself. But that's just me.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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Christy Lee

Quote from: Sephirah on December 26, 2017, 02:43:31 PM
Not anymore, no.

I've gotten to a point where I realise that the things people say are usually coming from a place within them, and very little to do with you. I've learned in my life to cut people a lot of slack. They don't feel the things I feel. A lot of the time they don't understand. And that isn't their fault. It isn't anyone's fault. It is what it is. It doesn't change who I am, so I don't let it bother me. Because doing so isn't going to change anything. Other than make me feel bad. And there's enough to do that already.

Stuff only gets to you if you let it. That was a long, hard, painful lesson. But one I think I've finally learned. It's possible to control the way you feel about things and how you let them affect you. Not easy, but possible. I suppose it helps that my dysphoria was never really social. It was almost entirely physical. A lot of the time I could forgive people because my belief in myself outweighed it all. And I was always more "I don't need to you to see, as long as I see." And when I didn't... that was what triggered me. More than probably anything. And hard. I don't care what the world thinks of me, I care more about what I think of myself. But that's just me.

Its always been abit more social for me my disphoria has, ive always hated the idea of being the boyfriend, or being the husband/father, being the man (ugh triggered)

My body disphoria isnt as prominent as the social side, ive always sometimes had slight disphoria about my body or voice, but its always been more about the social expectations of being a man for me (triggered)

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on December 26, 2017, 02:40:17 PM
"hey man"
"Hey bro"
"Hey dude"

Etc. It bothers me when men treat me like that cuz deep down I want them to treat me in a nice and loving way like they do with women.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Ive actually not been as bothered by that i guess


Quote from: Shambles on December 26, 2017, 09:45:07 AM
Dont worry i know you cant do X well, ...
.... your a man after all
.... your only man

Daughter brings me a pic of thr family shes drawn.... i have no hair


                   

Your only a man,  OMG triggered

for me anyother one is, men suck or i hate men or something like that

Quote from: Julia1996 on December 26, 2017, 08:48:48 AM
I despise the term " man up". Whenever someone said that to me it made me hostile. Two that I really hated and caused intense dysphoria were "little dude" and " bro". Both would make my skin crawl. My brother called me " little dude" but after he found out what a Smurf was ,he liked that better and started calling me Smurf. He still does actually.  One of my brother's friends used to use Bro in every sentence. One day I told him he had no idea what a brainless idiot he sounded like saying bro all the time. He did stop using it so much after that.

I havent really gotten bro all that much, and as a tall person i dont get little dude at all also other area (stomach) only reason people would have to call me little dude is sarcastically LOL

I think Man Up would be my least favorite term or phrase in the English language LOL, i can sometimes feel it coming on when im with people and i think here it comes and maybe even if its not directed at me personally i feel like ARRGGHH OMG I HATE THAT TERM i get this like real sour look on my face

Quote from: Kc1058 on December 26, 2017, 10:59:12 AM
"Sir".


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HUH that one is annoying, sir or Mister

Quote from: KarynMcD on December 26, 2017, 02:04:16 PM
Yeah. I always hated "man up." I would think, "No thanks. I'm good."

I was discussing with a friend about the benefits and downsides of switching to injections from taking pills.
She says, "Man up. Takes the shots."
I answer "Really! Man up?"

I always think, NO THANKS or WHY?
Whose that girll?
ITS CHRISTY

02/05/2018
Started Therapy
  •  

aves

A lot of my dysphoria stems from the public. Like, I get annoyed or upset if someone says "hi ladies" when I'm with my girlfriend, or something like that. I obviously don't pass yet and don't sound like a guy but it would be nice to not hear it e v e r y time I go out anywhere.


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-aves
Sept 2017- First doctor's appointment; came out socially
Oct 2017- Came out to my extended family
Feb 2018- Endocrinologist appointment; let's hope this also means T!

English/Sociology student
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Christy Lee

I have also been confused  as Ma'am  on the phone because my voice is kinda feminine, it triggers my disphoria, im like did i just get called Ma'am thats kinda hot, but i mean why shouldnt i just have been born this way to stop this confusion

also have been confused in public as a woman, just as boy mode (which is always me), i hate that feeling. i think im a boy why do they look at me or think im a woman? i think im a woman but i was born a boy its just soo confusing to me
Whose that girll?
ITS CHRISTY

02/05/2018
Started Therapy
  •  

Kylo

There used to be but I've decided not to be at the mercy of words. I figure, if a word can hurt me, I'm not going to get far into transition dealing with actual things without becoming a wreck.

So, I said all the words I hate many times over to myself in mind in different ways until they got no reaction.

Now they are just words. If I hear them, I feel nothing. 
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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Christy Lee

Quote from: Viktor on December 26, 2017, 04:54:41 PM
There used to be but I've decided not to be at the mercy of words. I figure, if a word can hurt me, I'm not going to get far into transition dealing with actual things without becoming a wreck.

So, I said all the words I hate many times over to myself in mind in different ways until they got no reaction.

Now they are just words. If I hear them, I feel nothing.

Thats a great idea :)
Whose that girll?
ITS CHRISTY

02/05/2018
Started Therapy
  •  

Julia1996

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on December 26, 2017, 02:40:17 PM
"hey man"
"Hey bro"
"Hey dude"

Etc. It bothers me when men treat me like that cuz deep down I want them to treat me in a nice and loving way like they do with women.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I sympathize with you and I know exactly what you mean. I felt that way too before transition. Guys were very hostile towards me and usually called me ->-bleeped-<- or homo.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
  •  

Allison S

I got called mr today and I was like really lol. It's whatever for me at this point if in a year or more it happens then that would be aggrivating

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Tamika Olivia

"Guys" drives me up a wall, mostly due to its ambiguity. If someone does a sir or mister at me with my boobs and my cute glasses, I just file them under "a-hole" and call it a day. But with "guys" I'm all "do I need to fight that person, or are they just innocently erasing women, or is guys just a thing they use for groups containing any genders?"

It's exhausting

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Shambles

Quote from: Tamika Olivia on December 26, 2017, 08:08:06 PM
"Guys" drives me up a wall, mostly due to its ambiguity. If someone does a sir or mister at me with my boobs and my cute glasses, I just file them under "a-hole" and call it a day. But with "guys" I'm all "do I need to fight that person, or are they just innocently erasing women, or is guys just a thing they use for groups containing any genders?"

It's exhausting

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I always use the word guys for a group doesnt matter around gender although i have found myself not using it on here so i dont offend anyone for that exact reason. To me the word is gender neutral
- Jo / Joanna

Pre-HRT Trans-Fem
16th Nov 17 - Came out to myself
7th Jan 18 - Came out to wife
31st Jan 18 - Referred to GIC / might be seen in 2020
Oct 18 - Fully out at one job, part out at another
Nov 18 - Out to close family
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Jailyn

Before transitioning a trigger word or phrase for me was "don't get your panties in a wad!" Hated that one like first I don't have panties (but, I want some), and why do they have to wad to get me upset?!!!!
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KarynMcD

Quote from: Julia1996 on December 26, 2017, 05:38:02 PM
Guys were very hostile towards me and usually called me ->-bleeped-<- or homo.

And know they are asking you out right?
That's been my experience.
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Bari Jo

When people refer to me when talking to my dog is Poppa or Daddy, that bothers me now.  Mainly because I've been referring to myself as his mommy.  My dog is very femme looking, always is getting called a she.  I keep thinking why is he getting all the breaks?

:)

Bari Jo
you know how far the universe extends outward? i think i go inside just as deep.

10/11/18 - out to the whole world.  100% friends and family support.
11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different
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