Cannot "Pass" and discouraged

[KathyLauren]

Also for coding, how good at math does one really have to be? I have heard/read some people say you need to be really good at it and others say you don't need any at all.

For coding, the ability to think logically is more important than math skills.  Math helps, sure, but usually you get the computer to do the serious number crunching.  The coder's job is to tell it what to do.

[Shadowsister]

For coding, the ability to think logically is more important than math skills.  Math helps, sure, but usually you get the computer to do the serious number crunching.  The coder's job is to tell it what to do.

That sounds great. There's a lot of resources out there for coding, so many it's overwhelming. If I wanted to get my feet wet and get a sample of what coding is, do you or anyone else have a link to anywhere where I could get some nice, accurate beginner friendly info?

[tgirlamg]

Hey Shadow!... I will find the coding training group I spoke of and send you a link by PM... It is formed specifically to enable Trans folks to have a marketable skill

Btw!... I am hearing the sound of hope in your words and with hope you can make this world your own!

Hugs!!!

A 😀💗🌻

[mako9802]

I bet you pass better than you think you do already.

[Shadowsister]

Hey Shadow!... I will find the coding training group I spoke of and send you a link by PM... It is formed specifically to enable Trans folks to have a marketable skill

Btw!... I am hearing the sound of hope in your words and with hope you can make this world your own!

Hugs!!!

A 😀💗🌻

Thanks, I look forward to reading it all. It would be awesome if that was something I could get into. I think those really labor intensive construction type jobs are not for me. Not because of any laziness, but because I just don't think my body can handle it. I don't have the best back and knees, sometimes even doing too much yard work will become uncomfortable.

Additionally, after being on hormones for a year I have noticed that my strength and stamina are not what they used to be. It's not a super huge reduction, but just enough to make something I was already not so good at even harder.

I am within my ideal body weight and am otherwise decently healthy, but that manual labor just puts the hurting on me, literally. 

I bet you pass better than you think you do already.

It's odd. Sometimes I'll look at myself in the mirror and see a glimmer of femininity, but then the next day, or even the next hour, I'll look and see nothing but male. The odd thing is sometimes my facial features will seem ever so slightly different. I may be under the same light, but they'll still look a bit different.

I do not have really hard male features like major brow bossing, and I have a rather delicate chin, but my deep set eyes and a nose that is a bit masculine is just enough to really hurt my passing.

I wonder if a rhinoplasty nosejob would be enough for me. I want to post pics so bad and ask for honest, objective feedback but I am really nervous on the internet. 

[Dena]

40 years of moving numbers around in a computer. You need to have a feel for numbers being wrong but unless you are doing scientific programming, algebra, addition, subtraction, multiplication and division will take care of most anything you will encounter. Strange enough, in the last 30 years or so, I hardly used multiplication and division.

As for medical transcription, it depends greatly on your typing speed and accuracy. If you are unable to touch type at over 60 words a minute, you should consider some other profession.

[mako9802]

I am the exact same way...for me I still present male but have been on HRT for a while now and like you said sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and  I am like wow this is really happening and I see glimpses of her in the mirror and love what  I see.    Other times I am like I just see  male...its funny like that...When I go out in public in male presentation though I sometimes hear  people saying "was  that a girl or was that a man" so yeah I know  there is some androgyny going on.   I was  at work the other day coming out the restroom and i was coming out and a guy was coming in he did a "double take", I was in male clothes  no make up and that happened  it makes me smile a bit...

[Shadowsister]

Have a really random question for you all. Shocker, I have questions, lollol


I want to shoot this site a few dollars for a donation, but I am worried if I use paypal it will give my real name out. I am really worried about identifiable information being posted because there are some mean folks out there who like to "out" and otherwise harass transgender people through doxing and things like that.

I don't care if it says "Donator" by my name, but can I be assured my personal info will remain private if I use paypal?

[Dena]

From my point of view, I can see your email address and IP address. Moderators are forbidden to trace IP addresses other than with the permission of an administrator. We need the IP addresses for moderator activity however that can be accomplished without tracing the IP address. To release any of this information means we not only lose our staff job but will be barred from the site. This is why we warn people not to post personal information on the site because that is the only source of personal information.

[Shadowsister]

From my point of view, I can see your email address and IP address. Moderators are forbidden to trace IP addresses other than with the permission of an administrator. We need the IP addresses for moderator activity however that can be accomplished without tracing the IP address. To release any of this information means we not only lose our staff job but will be barred from the site. This is why we warn people not to post personal information on the site because that is the only source of personal information.

Thanks, Dena.

I am going to go ahead and give a little donation to the site because I appreciate the help given to others and myself.

That said, I feel a lot better now than when I started this thread being all irate. Although I've been on HRT for just over a year I am new to injections and toward the end of the week I start feeling bad and get hard on myself, and sometimes even others. Hope that's something I eventually get used to. It's like coming off a caffeine or sugar high and I am just all like   

[Drexy/Drex]

I dont know what i can add so much has already been covered but i know fear well ,at the beginning i was petrified but some how i learned that on a primal level that humans still operate on that principle if you excude fear you will be attacked ....but i found that fear for myself was self generated i was over thinking every thing i was  creating my own reality  i too was in a vast amount of trouble i had to get a job to spin out my courtcase
and to do this i had to get a job in the goldfields in a.rough 98% male.workforce in a camp out in the bush ....i thought i was gay and was so ashamed this was back in 1989 i wore it like a badge people would pick up on it and i got such a hard time , my supervisor gave me two weeks before i cracked but but 30 yrs later i im still going
respected and now a legend but even though i am transtitioning im still respected and i think its because of i just be me ,but then again i am a rough neck
My first outing as me i dressed outrageously goth style  a kilt bandana , big kick ass boots
I really was loud , but you know no one hassled me the reactions varied from admiration from females to fear from males i only had one young guy smirk and look away
But what im trying to say is your front depicts how you will be treated
Fear is shadows you are young im 20 years older and transitioning  i wish i had started at your age
Think about imigrating to australia we are color blind here and  social security is good
But most of all people respect courage ....like barbie says just do it
Hopefully this makes sense  ...one life one chance go for gold sis

[Shadowsister]

I dont know what i can add so much has already been covered but i know fear well ,at the beginning i was petrified but some how i learned that on a primal level that humans still operate on that principle if you excude fear you will be attacked ....but i found that fear for myself was self generated i was over thinking every thing i was  creating my own reality  i too was in a vast amount of trouble i had to get a job to spin out my courtcase
and to do this i had to get a job in the goldfields in a.rough 98% male.workforce in a camp out in the bush ....i thought i was gay and was so ashamed this was back in 1989 i wore it like a badge people would pick up on it and i got such a hard time , my supervisor gave me two weeks before i cracked but but 30 yrs later i im still going
respected and now a legend but even though i am transtitioning im still respected and i think its because of i just be me ,but then again i am a rough neck
My first outing as me i dressed outrageously goth style  a kilt bandana , big kick ass boots
I really was loud , but you know no one hassled me the reactions varied from admiration from females to fear from males i only had one young guy smirk and look away
But what im trying to say is your front depicts how you will be treated
Fear is shadows you are young im 20 years older and transitioning  i wish i had started at your age
Think about imigrating to australia we are color blind here and  social security is good
But most of all people respect courage ....like barbie says just do it
Hopefully this makes sense  ...one life one chance go for gold sis

Thanks for that response. I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but what you wrote about fear was pretty deep. I am really trying to get rid of it, but it's hard. Fear is almost like an addiction.

I would love to be able to move to somewhere like Australia or Canada or some other Western nation that is a bit more progressive than the USA, but I've no resources to do that.. unless, of course, you want to marry me.

All jokes aside, your post along with the others here have really helped to give me some insight. Transition and being trans, as I'm sure most of us are aware, is not easy and sometimes I just need some help with the difficulties of it all and I'm glad to get that here.

[Drexy/Drex]

Your welcome  my approach  is simplistic .....in fact i went through hell to get where i am now   and its not over 
one thing i suggest though which every female should do is learn self defense krav maga  would be useful
anyway i empathize  on your fear ive been there i have my own  fear of crowds which comes from being stuck in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of rednecks and being subjected to relentless humiliation  24/7 ... back then we used to stay out there for 6 weeks before a break of 6 days back in civilization   , nowdays i know its just shadows , and i'm fairly thick skinned
that saying of " walk a mile in someones boots before you judge them " comes to mind
Sounds like the coding  would be the go thats knowledge  you can take anywhere with you and make aliviing
Oh i  cannot pass and i doubt i ever will but im happy with my new mind set thats what  means  the most to me ....we're  all different

[Shadowsister]

Your welcome  my approach  is simplistic .....in fact i went through hell to get where i am now   and its not over 
one thing i suggest though which every female should do is learn self defense krav maga  would be useful
anyway i empathize  on your fear ive been there i have my own  fear of crowds which comes from being stuck in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of rednecks and being subjected to relentless humiliation  24/7 ... back then we used to stay out there for 6 weeks before a break of 6 days back in civilization   , nowdays i know its just shadows , and i'm fairly thick skinned
that saying of " walk a mile in someones boots before you judge them " comes to mind
Sounds like the coding  would be the go thats knowledge  you can take anywhere with you and make aliviing
Oh i  cannot pass and i doubt i ever will but im happy with my new mind set thats what  means  the most to me ....we're  all different

That's some tough really stuff for you to go through. It puts things into perspective. What you mention about walking that mile, I have told my dad before if he could be me for a day he would change his tune 100%.

One of the hardest things about being trans is people are like "just do this and that" then give some half-baked opinion on what should be done or "I understand 100% what being trans is" then proceeds to give me crap that the media, politicians and religious leaders feeds to the masses on trans issues. People act like they know what's up and are dead wrong and no amount of good counter evidence can make them change their beliefs, it makes me want to pull my hair out.

Sometimes, in addition to the fear I mention, a problem of not "passing" isn't just being physically assaulted, but dealing with other people's absolute ignorance and stupidity. It's tough when you have an "issue" that's so heavily politicized, and doubly worse when it's one that is so subject to nonsensical sensationalism that people just love eating up. 

[Janes Groove]

Here is another suggestion for a job.  If you think about it, about 99% of the economy is buying and selling.  So go out and find stuff to sell.  Ebay, Amazon and Craigslist, Etsy, etc. are all great places to start selling things.  Check out Youtube. There are lots of videos on people who are making a living buying and selling things or finding salvage items for free and turning around and selling them.   Research youtube videos and the internet on where to find things to sell.  And there is a ton of good information out there.  And nobody gives a fig if you are a felon or not.   We are lucky to live in the world's wealthiest and strongest economy.  Anybody can make money buying and selling.  It's just a matter of hard work.

[Shadowsister]

Here is another suggestion for a job.  If you think about it, about 99% of the economy is buying and selling.  So go out and find stuff to sell.  Ebay, Amazon and Craigslist, Etsy, etc. are all great places to start selling things.  Check out Youtube. There are lots of videos on people who are making a living buying and selling things or finding salvage items for free and turning around and selling them.   Research youtube videos and the internet on where to find things to sell.  And there is a ton of good information out there.  And nobody gives a fig if you are a felon or not.   We are lucky to live in the world's wealthiest and strongest economy.  Anybody can make money buying and selling.  It's just a matter of hard work.

Thank You so much for the idea, it's one that I never even considered. I need to get me a skill and I need to do it fast. My living arrangement is a bit stressful. I want to be on my own so bad but it's really hard to get started so every bit of input helps.