So this has taken me a couple of days to process, first a little bit of background.
TL;DR. When I came out my mother was supportive, my father not so much, now my mother may be withdrawing support.
I came out to my parents July of 2016. My mother seemed supportive, but my father seemed in shock, about a week later he called me and told me that while he was okay with me crossdressing, he "wouldn't be able to handle it" if I transitioned.
I saw my parents again briefly in October 2016 and then for thanksgiving. November of 2016 I started seeing a gender therapist, and I told my mother about it over thanksgiving. We didn't talk about it again, for nearly a year. I started HRT at the end of August. The HRT caused me to drop ~ 13 pounds in a month, so when I visited briefly in October my mother directly asked me what was going on, I told her that I'd started HRT and felt amazing. She seemed fine with that.
By November I'd started getting physical changes, and mentioned that to my mother, she said she didn't see any difference, and that she didn't realize that my taking hormones meant that I was transitioning (WTF?) and we agreed to figure out a strategy to tell the rest of the family. Within a few days she sent me an email that she wanted to wait until January to tell everyone due to hings going on in my father and sister's lives (god forbid my problem come first). I was really busy, and Christmas is big in our family so I just decided it was ok to wait.
So I spent last week with my family, and while it kind of sucked, it was also very cathartic. When I started HRT I realized that I'd had an anxiety issue my entire life without realizing it, because it went away. For the past four months I've learned how to actually feel emotions, and actually have self confidence. I realized that my family really doesn't treat me that well. It's not abuse or anything, but essentially they have zero respect for me, and I've finally realized that I don't deserve this. Anyway I talked to my mother again on Saturday, and not only does she still not think there have been any changes, she wants to push away telling people until just before I'm ready to go full time. She said that when I came out my father said that if I fully transitioned that I would no longer exist as far as he was concerned, and that she said she would leave him if he did that. She then proceeded to try to guilt trip me about how she would live in that case. She did say that he had mellowed alot since last summer. She feels that I shouldn't be allowed to have contact with my nephew until he's in his 20s (hes about to turn 6). She clearly did no research, and though she did seem legitimately happy when I said that I liked the changes from HRT, I'm guessing she doesn't like the idea of having a transwoman as a child.
I was extremely sad angry and upset, all at the same time. How can someone act this way to their own flesh and blood. I can remember statements that she made when I was in Junior High that she found the idea of trans people "Disgusting." Though that was ~20 years ago. When I got home Saturday evening I sent her some links to (reputable) information about trans people. 22 hours later she responded "okay, thanks."
As another strange turn, when my father was driving me to the airport he seemed to really want me to visit more.
Weirdly enough, by Sunday Evening, I really didn't feel sad or upset anymore, I just didn't care. I don't think I'm suppressing my feelings, at least not consciously. I think maybe realizing that they aren't very nice to me means I don't need their approval as much as I used to.
I don't know, if you've read this far thank you.
