What's your worst cooking disaster?

[Julia1996]

Alright Julia,

  Do you think you can plagiarize my saying and get away with it? Besides I disagree with you about cream of mushroom soup. It isn't bad as a sauce base for meats like hamburger patties, pork chops, and I will even eat it for a soup lunch. So my dear young lady it is too fit for human consumption! So there! :-P
    Chipped beef on toast IE SOS is good as was the same thing made with canned tuna fish. I called that "exploded seagull" when my mom made it. As a military you ate what was put in front of you or you didn't eat. Even Pork and Beans with cut up shudder hotdogs in it.  And pigs in a blanket which was dough wrapped hotdogs bake in the oven. Either of those were preferred over shudder boiled hotdogs. ewwwww. We also had several dinners where spam was the meat ingredient.

Hugs,
  Laurie
   Laurie

OMG, sos made with tuna?? Ok I'm traumatized now! Ewwwwww doesn't even cover that kind of nasty!  And spam....it's just.....wrong. Do they serve lots of spam in the marines too? I can't imagine any other way my dad would develop a taste for that stuff. He likes it fried with mayo in a sandwich. I make it for him but...Ewww.

[Julia1996]

My own worst disaster occurred around a year after my parents left and I started living alone. When some people came over I prepared them the best meal I could muster. Salad, rice, soup and the main dish—tempura—which consisted of battered deep fried vegetables, shrimp and such served with broth sauce and grated radish.

I won't forget the confused and pained expression of the first person who took a bite of the shrimp. When I tried it myself I was so embarrassed I wanted to go somewhere and hide. It tasted like something salvaged from a garbage pile.

At the time my entire food budget was about equivalent to $100 a month, so I usually lived on scraps and kept anything really nice I found for something I could afford in the freezer for special occasions. What I hadn't realized was that since I'd set the freezer compartment temperature just low enough to keep things frozen (to save electricity) it wasn't cold enough to prevent decomposition. The shrimp had been there for almost a year so it was utterly rancid.

After that I turned down the temperature and started to eat the nice things fresh, when they were at their best.

That's sad but its funny too.lol

[Cassi]

When I was a teenager I worked at McDonald's.  My family loved the french fries so I decided to make them at home.  I boiled the oil and insert the fries.  Once done I poured the oil into a glass jar and whammy, oil all over the place; fries, counter, floor, my right hand - ouch!

What can I say, I'm a natural blond :)O

[Dianne H]

I got hooked on watching Emeril quite a few years back.
I noticed he used wine on almost everything.
Wine on pepperoni pizza wasn't that great.

[big kim]

Making chips drunk + stoned = chip pan fire

[Cindy]

Two spring to mind both while travelling with Rebecca around Australia in our caravan and 4WD in 1985. Yes Julia there was a world in 1985!
The first was on the Nullarbor Plain, a lonely place to say the least. We had 2 sausages left, Rebecca was cooking, they were a bit off or had a green colour to them that was not due to herbs. So she kept adding chilli powder to disguise the taste. She hadn't had experience with chilli powder so kept adding it until she could smell it. The aluminium in the pan started to dissolve so she served them up. The pan was the lucky one.
The second was when I collected some fresh roo road kill and thought it would make good steaks. I cooked it up and as we started to eat I warned her not to eat the little white bits. She thought they were big bits of rice but they weren't. She still brings that one up during arguments for some reason.

[Colleen_definitely]

Lol!

The white bits are just extra protein, if you can catch them.

[Julia1996]

Two spring to mind both while travelling with Rebecca around Australia in our caravan and 4WD in 1985. Yes Julia there was a world in 1985!
The first was on the Nullarbor Plain, a lonely place to say the least. We had 2 sausages left, Rebecca was cooking, they were a bit off or had a green colour to them that was not due to herbs. So she kept adding chilli powder to disguise the taste. She hadn't had experience with chilli powder so kept adding it until she could smell it. The aluminium in the pan started to dissolve so she served them up. The pan was the lucky one.
The second was when I collected some fresh roo road kill and thought it would make good steaks. I cooked it up and as we started to eat I warned her not to eat the little white bits. She thought they were big bits of rice but they weren't. She still brings that one up during arguments for some reason.

What were the white spots?  Lol, I know there was a world in the 80s. My dad says it was fun growing up in the 80s.

[Cindy]

Two spring to mind both while travelling with Rebecca around Australia in our caravan and 4WD in 1985. Yes Julia there was a world in 1985!
The first was on the Nullarbor Plain, a lonely place to say the least. We had 2 sausages left, Rebecca was cooking, they were a bit off or had a green colour to them that was not due to herbs. So she kept adding chilli powder to disguise the taste. She hadn't had experience with chilli powder so kept adding it until she could smell it. The aluminium in the pan started to dissolve so she served them up. The pan was the lucky one.
The second was when I collected some fresh roo road kill and thought it would make good steaks. I cooked it up and as we started to eat I warned her not to eat the little white bits. She thought they were big bits of rice but they weren't. She still brings that one up during arguments for some reason.

What were the white spots?  Lol, I know there was a world in the 80s. My dad says it was fun growing up in the 80s.

Maggots

[Julia1996]

What were the white spots?  Lol, I know there was a world in the 80s. My dad says it was fun growing up in the 80s.


Maggots

OMG,OMG,OMG! That's horrible! Lol

[Cassi]

OMG,OMG,OMG! That's horrible! Lol

Survivalist swear by them

[Julia1996]

Survivalist swear by them

They eat maggots??? I'm really glad I haven't eaten breakfast yet.😖

[Cassi]

They eat maggots??? I'm really glad I haven't eaten breakfast yet.😖

Yes, all sorts of yucky thangs.  Protein.

[Colleen_definitely]

Survival training 101: everything tastes better with hot sauce.   

I haven't tried roadkill, though I was awfully tempted to go carve off a piece of the deer that totaled my car in May.

[Cassi]

Survival training 101: everything tastes better with hot sauce.   

I haven't tried roadkill, though I was awfully tempted to go carve off a piece of the deer that totaled my car in May.

C-Rats - Tabasco Sauce!!!!!!

[Julia1996]

C-Rats - Tabasco Sauce!!!!!!

OMG rats?? You can get diseases from rats, they're filthy animals.

[Laurie]

Road kill?... Broken GMC pickup?... I wonder what that mule would have tasted like?  OMG the ribbing I got. "Hey, I heard you got a piece of ass" "Mule skinner" etc.

[Colleen_definitely]

OMG rats?? You can get diseases from rats, they're filthy animals.

C-rat is short for C-Rations.  Military food from the days before the MRE.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meal,_Combat,_Individual_ration

MREs benefitted greatly from hot sauce, apparently the c-rats REALLY needed it.

[big kim]

Once blew up a steak & kidney pudding by putting it in a pan of boiling water without making holes in the tin.

[KarynMcD]

I don't really remember any huge mistakes, but once I was converting a cookie to gluten-free and I was doing a test recipe. I was only going to use 10% of the original because the math was easy.
For one ingredient, gum arabic (it helps give a chewy consistency and helps hold things together), instead of dividing by 10, I multiplied.
I ending up with rubbery, bouncy cookie balls. You could have played Jacks with them. (For Julia: How to play Jacks)