Hardest part in transitioning?

[PurpleWolf]

What's been the hardest part for you in your transition process? (Could be anything - from family not accepting to having difficulties socially transitioning to some hardships you didn't take into account, accepting yourself, getting support, finding a therapist, passing...)

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For me - simplistically medically transitioning. Which hasn't happened yet due to many things such as money, accessibility etc. etc. This is also something I didn't expect to happen initally at all. But yet here I still am - without T.

[Dani]

For me, the hardest part was accepting myself as I am. I am a woman with a transgender history.

[HappyMoni]

The hardest is waiting for progress and fear that it won't come.
Moni

[sarah1972]

Patience. It is a very slow process and I regularly feel stuck in my transition. Breasts are growing slow, hair takes for ever to grow out, facial hair takes forever to remove, waiting through RLE so I can plan my next steps and even then healing from surgery will also take forever... Even just getting to the point where I have a full wardrobe of cloths takes a long time.

I am more a "I want it all and I want it now" kind of gal..

[JillianC]

I agree with Moni.  The hardest for me is being patient while the changes occur while being unsure of the results.  Also changing my expectations to better a line with reality.  That one has been affecting me the most lately at 10 months HRT.

[Mountain Warfare Girl]

For me the hardest part so far was coming out to my wife and telling her that I was really a woman, she is very supportive but is "weirded out" by it.

[Cassi]

The hardest is waiting for progress and fear that it won't come.
Moni

You hit the nail right on the head with that Moni.  Totally what I'm feeling right now.

[KathyLauren]

Hard to say which part is hardest.  Maybe the years of denial. 

Now it is the waiting.  Waiting to get appointments, waiting for letters, waiting for HRT, waiting for breasts to grow, waiting for surgery, waiting for my gender marker.  I am usually a pretty patient girl, but my patience is being put to the test.

[Julia1996]

The hardest part of transition for me was how SLOW everything seemed and having to see a therapist for hrt approval. It wasn't the way I thought it would be. I thought it would just involve me telling her I was trans and she would give me the approval letter. But I had to actually talk about a lot of stuff I didn't want to talk about. Then I had to do it again with another therapist because the Dr my dad found to do my hrt wanted 2 letters because I was under 18. Drs aren't that anxious to do hrt on someone under 18. It was a pain actually.  The Dr wanted 2 letters from therapists and then she had a private consultation with my dad and then with the both of us. Compared to what a pain it is to get hrt in places like England it wasn't a big deal but it was for me because I wanted HRT yesterday. Then I had to wait another 2 weeks for my lab results before she gave me the prescription. And even then it took forever for her to give it to me because a nurse had to teach me to self inject. She said it might be easier if I had someone else give me the shot and asked my dad if he wanted to learn how to do it. He said absolutely not. I find it hilarious that my dad can gut someone with a ka- bar but gets totally skeezed out at the idea of sticking a needle in someone. Lol. My brother does it for me and my dad even gets skeezed out watching him do it. That's so funny!

Transitioning socially wasn't really hard, just surprising at first. I was gendered as female by most people who didn't know me even before transition so I passed pretty much all the time when I started presenting as female. The biggest change I noticed was how guys treated me. When I was androgynous guys who didn't know me reacted to me with a kind of guarded suspicious attitude. I guess because they couldn't tell 100% if I was a girl or not.  But after I transitioned guys treated me very nicely, smiled and some of them flirted a lot. I never had what would be considered "male privilege " before I transitioned,  no doubt other guys and even women didn't consider me " worthy" of any male privilege.  But the dramatic increase in being treated like a total idiot and being talked down to and mansplained was a big surprise and very annoying. I was even surprised by how guys who had known me before treated me after I transitioned. My brother's friends are a good example. I always used to hang out with my brother and his friends when they were at our house. I noticed they acted weird around me after I transitioned. Not in a mean way, just really different. They were much more quiet for one thing and when one of them farted he excused himself. Lol. That had NEVER happened before. So my brother actually told me it would be better if I didn't hang out with them so much anymore. I started to get hurt feelings but he told me I made his friends self conscious and they couldn't really be themselves so much when I was there. He said guys get very self conscious around girls. I found it weird how they never cared what I thought about them before I transitioned but they did after. Just another weird guy thing I guess.

[Bari Jo]

I'd say the hardest is personal acceptance.  Then it's the passing.  I am still worried I'll never pass.

[Julia1996]

I'd say the hardest is personal acceptance.  Then it's the passing.  I am still worried I'll never pass.

You will pass. I think your results will be even better than your avatar and your avatar picture is passable.

[RobynTx]

Everything really.  Acceptance to oneself and others. Finding and seeing a therapist.  Getting started on HRT.  Waiting for HRT to do something, anything. Learning mannerisms.  Getting a new wardrobe. Getting surgeries lined up. Basically everything. 

Humans have adapted to the "get it right now" mentality and this is not one of those things that changes after waking up in the morning.  I wish it was but it's not. I'm reminded by that one line in A League of their own where Tom Hanks says baseball is hard because if it was easy anyone could do it.  This is being transgender summed up quite nicely.

[Charlie Nicki]

The hardest is waiting for progress and fear that it won't come.
Moni

Honestly this.

[Roll]

The hardest is waiting for progress and fear that it won't come.
Moni

Actively going through that every second of the day.

[Bari Jo]

You will pass. I think your results will be even better than your avatar and your avatar picture is passable.

You are too kind, If only you had a magic wand:)

Bari Jo

[Devlyn]

The hardest part of it for me has been using this site for support while constantly reading how my stripe of transgender doesn't belong in the T.  Being rejected on a support site is pretty demoralizing.

[Julia1996]

Actively going through that every second of the day.

I know that feeling well. If the Dr hadn't told me taking more estrogen than she prescribed wouldn't make me change any faster I would totally have tried it. Well, to be honest I would have tried it anyway but she said that in front of my dad and kept my vial of estradiol for the first few months just because he thought I might do it.

[Barb99]

Changing my voice! Hands down the most difficult thing I've ever done.
It took a year and a half to get passable and I would still like it to improve. In fact I have a six month follow up scheduled with my voice therapist next week. She'll probably give me something else to work on. 

[Kendra]

The hardest part of it for me has been using this site for support while constantly reading how my stripe of transgender doesn't belong in the T.  Being rejected on a support site is pretty demoralizing.

Every transgender individual is one of us, regardless of direction (FtM, MtF), starting point or destination (nonbinary).  I hope we can truly support all of us in every possible way. 

[Kylo]

The "in between" phase.

Where you have the characteristics of a male and a female to other people, and they notice it.

It's the worst.

As an FTM there are things you cannot hide early on and they will notice your voice, your body hair, your facial hair, and the chest unless you are extremely small, and if you have a sex life, they'll notice you're sprouting a dick, too. That's only some of the things as well.

Another thing is dealing with being in a long term relationship with a straight man when you are FTM and the untold joys of helping another man deal with his galloping denial associated with suddenly being attracted to another man. Or not, as the case might also be

And of course, there's the waiting

And more waiting...