Denise hit the nail on the head. If it's not safe to be yourself where you are, then you must get to somewhere that it is safe. Some of my first steps found me loving to go to a large mall in a large city (I live in a small west Texas town, same story), there I found all kinds of people walking around and half of the people working in the stores LBGT of some sort and absolutely non judgemental. Don't risk anything at home for now, but just try a little makeup or something a bit androgynous or even girly if you're up to it and wear one thing and walk around the mall and see if it helps your GD. Is there an understanding friend that will go with you? Start making a plan to get to a safer place on a more permanent basis. Simply avoid people making ignorant comments or if you can't avoid, shrug your shoulders and be non committal. Don't get suckered into a conversation where you feel compelled to go along with the idiots talking drivel to feel safe, you'll feel worse afterwords.
We've all been there. Now is the time to be smart and take small steps that won't put you at risk with those you fear. Plan your escape and keep smiling. Toni
