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Something to live by...

Started by stephanie_craxford, February 10, 2006, 11:12:33 AM

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stephanie_craxford

As I related in another topic RLT and being trans can be stressful at the best of times and that's where I found myself this week.  My spouse emailed me this and I though it was nice and so applicable.

Not our words, I wish they were but:

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill.
In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.
He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"
And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.
"Now, who still wants it?"
Still the hands went into the air.
My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value.
It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the
dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.
We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.
Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.
The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.
You are special - Don't EVER forget it.
Count your blessings, not your problems.

Steph
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Peggiann

HI Steph,
That is so true!

What a great Life's Partner you have to share such a wonderful supportive thought. I hope your days are going better now.

Thanks for sharing it.

Smiles,
Peggiann
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Sara

Hi Stephanie, hope you are feeling on top of the world today. I am starting to find the real me and trying to accept it - that bit about the 20 bucks made me realize that I have been kicked around for years and yet still blunder through life wanting to be accepted. I keep telling myself I am not a bad person and maybe someday a light will shine.

"Don't EVER forget it. Count your blessings, not your problems". How very true these words are!

Hugs,

Sara.
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stephanie_craxford

Thanks Sara.

Actually I'm really feeling great.  It was just a bit of a storm in a tea cup, but like all storms it calmed down.  I'm back to normal I guess :)  Hmmmmm normal is open for interpretation though :)

We went out last night to a bar in town.  It turned out to be a great night it's amazing what a couple of glasses of wine, and good company will do.  It was a real pick-me-up.

Steph
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HelenW

What a wonderful and timely lesson, Stephanie, thank you!

It's a good thing to read right now because I've been feeling pretty low lately.  The past few days have been tough betw me and my SO (who still will not avail herself to the proffered assistance btw).  I'm beginning to feel stuck in a no-win situation and that weigh's heavily.  I'm becomming more certain of what I feel I need to do and it's at odds with her feelings and beliefs.  I have therapy on Tuesday (ironic, sort of, on St Valentine's day!) and hopefully we can talk about that.

thnx fr listening,
helen
FKA: Emelye

Pronouns: she/her

My rarely updated blog: http://emelyes-kitchen.blogspot.com

Southwestern New York trans support: http://www.southerntiertrans.org/
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molly

Good going Steph,

I'm in a similar funk as Helen and its good to hear good news stories.

I am planning on coming out to my SO this Sunday and it has been weighing on me like a ton of bricks.  I keep having to say positive affirmations to keep my spirits and courage up to go through with this.

And like Helen I have my therapy on Tuesday, I guess it depends on how my SO takes the news to know how badly I will need the session for morale purposes.

Anyway, I didn't intend for this reply to be about me, but hearing about your journey makes me reflect on mine and wondering how it will turn out.

I'm really happy for you Steph.

Molly
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stephanie_craxford

Quote from: HelenW on February 11, 2006, 10:09:38 AM
What a wonderful and timely lesson, Stephanie, thank you!

It's a good thing to read right now because I've been feeling pretty low lately.  The past few days have been tough betw me and my SO (who still will not avail herself to the proffered assistance btw).  I'm beginning to feel stuck in a no-win situation and that weigh's heavily.  I'm becomming more certain of what I feel I need to do and it's at odds with her feelings and beliefs.  I have therapy on Tuesday (ironic, sort of, on St Valentine's day!) and hopefully we can talk about that.

thnx fr listening,
helen

It's a tough place to be in Helen, that's for sure.  It may take her a very long time to accept you as you are, and you should be prepared that she may never accept you.  At which point you will need to make some very difficult, life changing decisions.  You have seen this said many times I'm sure but one of the keys is to be patient and honest with your wife, and it may become easier now that you are out (sort of) and seeing a therapist, and above all keep talking.

Remember, in her mind you are not the same person she married, and while some wedding vows say "For better or worse" many don't count on this turn of events.  If you haven't done so already, you need to ask your wife to tell you what it is she fears, what she is thinking, and what she is feeling about this, and be sure to tell her to be honest.  At the same time you should be prepared for the answers, some of which you may not like to hear.  After all where does all this leave her!

I'm not sure how long you have been married but you are close to my age and that said while many couples our age are looking forward to retirement, rest and relaxation, we have just been born and are only now just starting to live the life we had to hide.

Keep talking but don't let this take over your lives, because believe me it will if you let it, if you want to stay together then you will need to work this out together.

Easy as pie huh....   Not in a million years :)

Steph
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Lessa

I am so saving that! Thats great and very true! I've been kicked down a lot in life and have always tried to keep in mind that I'm priceless by those who truly love me. So very true and thank you!

-Love always, Lessa
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NightAngel

Hi Stephanie,

good story, you know how to pick us from the ground ... I already feel better.

Thank you!

Michelle
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