I think there's an insanity epidemic going around.

[Julia1996]

Hi everyone. So last night when my dad got home he had a split swollen lip. He had answered a domestic violence call. Some guy had beat up his girlfriend. The girlfriend gave him all the details and the boyfriend didn't deny hitting her, he said it was her own fault for " running her mouth". So of course the boyfriend was getting arrested. When my dad told her he was going to be arrested the woman told him no, they couldn't arrest him because he would miss work and she said she didn't want to press charges. He said the guy admitted hitting her so it was an automatic arrest.  Then she said she took everything she had told him back. He told her it didn't work like that. So she started cursing at him and punched him right in the mouth!! WTF? So she went from being the victim to getting a face full of pepper spray and being arrested herself. Now she's in more trouble than her boyfriend for assaulting an officer.

She hit and cursed my dad for arresting a scumbag who beat her up! What is that???! I really want my dad to get into another line of work. People are too crazy!

[Faith]

cops have to be crazy to be a cop. I respect them for putting themselves out there, I wouldn't do it.
Worst stories seem to be domestic violence related, there's no winning side.

[sarah1972]

First thank your dad for his service and for standing ground on arresting that stupid boyfriend. Violence against any person is unacceptable, even worse domestic violence.

Unfortunately her behavior is not uncommon. There is something deep down messed up in people like her for clinging to an abusive boyfriend. It is a little bit like alcoholism, unfortunately they need to see for themselves that they live in an abusive and toxic relationship and she will need some serious help figuring this out and getting ready to leave. Look at the argument she used: He cannot miss work. He made her totally dependent on him. From what I have seen, his behavior will not change. It will only get worse. Maybe this is a necessary wakeup call...

From my own experience: I have been in one abusive relationship (mostly verbaly / emotional) and every time I was treated like crap, I loved that women even more and did everything I could to make up for my failures (I did not fail her, she just enjoyed making me feel like crap, especially when she was drunk). She finally ditched me over some stupid misunderstanding and that may have saved me. But not after some hard trying to get back together. Finally realized what had happened and that she was just emotionally abusing me. That was the day I could finally close that chapter of my life and feel sorry for her (almost at least, I still think about her every now and then). I cannot explain why I did go through all this. She made me so miserable day after day and was totally controlling. I just cannot explain it. Today I know I should have seen the warring signs all along. Alcohol on her part may have been a big factor.

So I know what it feels like and how hard it is to see the truth.

P.S. I just re-read my post and will not change it, but I did realize: I defend her ditching me... excused it by a misunderstanding. Crazy, even so many years later she still has mind opens over me...

[KathyLauren]

Julia, please thank your dad from me for doing a dirty job that no one else will do.  My wife used to work for the police as a civilian employee, and some of the stories she can tell...!  I have a lot of respect for the people who willingly put themselves in harm's way to protect us.

Yes, the kind of crazy you describe is, unfortunately, all too common.  There's not a lot anyone can do.  That woman needs some serious counselling, but she won't change until she wants to.  In the meantime, cops have to sort it out.

[Paige]

Hi Julia,

I'm sure your father wasn't surprised by this at all. 

A 27-Year Police Veteran on Why Domestic Violence Calls Pose the Greatest Danger for Cops
A new study on law enforcement deaths found that domestic disputes are more likely than other scenarios to lead to an officer getting shot. One Massachusetts officer isn't surprised.

https://www.thetrace.org/2016/08/domestic-violence-police-risk-danger/

[Cassi]

Hi Julia,

I'm sure your father wasn't surprised by this at all. 

A 27-Year Police Veteran on Why Domestic Violence Calls Pose the Greatest Danger for Cops
A new study on law enforcement deaths found that domestic disputes are more likely than other scenarios to lead to an officer getting shot. One Massachusetts officer isn't surprised.

https://www.thetrace.org/2016/08/domestic-violence-police-risk-danger/

Back in the 70's in California, it was decided that if a 415F (disturbing the peace -family)call was made, one of the people involved would be going to jail.  The norm was that a spouse would get pissed off at the other and call the PD.  When the PD arrived and if the spouse was arrested, the calling spouse would get upset and attack the officers.

[Julia1996]

Hi Julia,

I'm sure your father wasn't surprised by this at all. 

A 27-Year Police Veteran on Why Domestic Violence Calls Pose the Greatest Danger for Cops
A new study on law enforcement deaths found that domestic disputes are more likely than other scenarios to lead to an officer getting shot. One Massachusetts officer isn't surprised.

https://www.thetrace.org/2016/08/domestic-violence-police-risk-danger/

No he wasn't surprised. Some of the stuff he's told me is unreal. He's had people turn dogs on him, more than once he's had someone throw stuff at him, dishes, ashtrays,etc. A woman once tried to assault him with a vacuum cleaner hose and once a woman threw a pan of hot grease at him. Thank god she missed! During traffic stops he regularly has people curse at him and once a woman throw her full extra large soda on him. How stupid are some people? A ticket is a pain yes, but it's a bigger pain being arrested for assaulting a cop. He told me about all that stuff last night when I was so shocked that woman hit him. I asked why he had never shared any of that with me before and he said because knowing me I would start nagging him to quit the force. BINGO! I won't nag him to quit because for some crazy reason he likes it. But I do worry more about him now. He's in more danger now than when he was a marine!

[DawnOday]

Julia...That's called alcohol poisoning. I would posit that alcohol is a big contributor to domestic violence. Alcohol has the ability to make the most sane people into slobbering idiots if not controlled. Glad your Dad came back home with only a split lip. We just had an officer killed here in Pierce County the day before yesterday. It's a dangerous job that some can handle and some cannot. My BIL was a San Bernardino county sheriff, he's now a judge. Oh the stories he can tell.

[Julia1996]

Julia...That's called alcohol poisoning. I would posit that alcohol is a big contributor to domestic violence. Alcohol has the ability to make the most sane people into slobbering idiots if not controlled. Glad your Dad came back home with only a split lip. We just had an officer killed here in Pierce County the day before yesterday. It's a dangerous job that some can handle and some cannot. My BIL was a San Bernardino county sheriff, he's now a judge. Oh the stories he can tell.

That's awful! I worry about that possibly happening to my dad.

[Julia1996]

The worst stories come from cops who deal with child abuse problems such as here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3506054/Mom-arrested-Facebook-photo-appears-smoking-meth-baby.html

I know the arresting officer and I think his therapist needs therapy due to the things he deals with at work.

I'm sure my dad has delt with stuff like that before.  He doesn't really share much about the bad stuff he deals with. Most of the stories he shares with me are funny ones. Like the women and some men who offer him sexual favors to get out of a ticket or the women who try to hit on him while he's on the job. I don't get that one. If I was pulled over or had to deal with a cop in general getting into his pants would be the very last thing on my mind no matter how hot he was. I guess that just proves people can be nuts.

[DawnOday]

Julia, You would not be human if you didn't have those concerns. If there is one thing you possess it's humanity. It's there in everything you write. Give Pop's a pat on the back and a big hug for his courage to face danger on a daily basis. While I don't always agree with their tactics, you have to respect the men and women that do this job.

[Julia1996]

Julia, You would not be human if you didn't have those concerns. If there is one thing you possess it's humanity. It's there in everything you write. Give Pop's a pat on the back and a big hug for his courage to face danger on a daily basis. While I don't always agree with their tactics, you have to respect the men and women that do this job.

Cops are people and like all people some can be huge ->-bleeped-<-s. Some of the cops my dad works with are in fact ->-bleeped-<-s. Some like the powertrip of it.  It's sad that the actions of some bad cops make people hate all cops.My dad isn't a ->-bleeped-<- in general so I'm sure he's not that way at work. He has told me a few times that he only intended on giving someone a warning but they talked their way into a ticket by being nasty to him. He's also told me that 80% of people who give him the most trouble are women.  Some women seem to think a cop won't pepper spray them or tazer them because they are women. My dad totally will if they give him a reason. Because of the danger I wish my dad would find something quiet and safe to do for work. A librarian would be pretty safe. Lol, kidding. But I don't think my dad would be happy doing anything else. He's been a cop pretty much all his working life. He was military police when he was in the military and now a regular cop. I think it's in his blood unfortunately.

[Gertrude]

Yup. I've heard this story before, more than once. The dirty little secret about some domestic violence is that it takes two. Often, it's not something that happens out of the blue, but the truth is an unpopular one.


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[Sno]

Hon, it's an odd dynamic - have a look at borderline personality disorder and Stockholm syndrome for some insight - if one parter has BPD, then a hypothesis is that the other has Stockholm produced by the BPD...

Rowan

[Paige]

Hi Julia,

I doubt it will make you feel better but there are more dangerous jobs in the US.  Police don't make the top 10.

The 10 most dangerous jobs for men
https://www.cnbc.com/2017/01/04/the-10-most-dangerous-jobs-for-men.html

[Lady Sarah]

As a grand juror, I heard far worse stories. By law, I cannot recant any of them, but it would blow your mind at what levels some people would stoop to. Many of them indicate that eventually someone will be killed. Usually, the perp would be the one pressing charges, and claiming to be the victim.

If you don't believe that, ask your father. Then thank him on my behalf for putting up with the BS.

[Laurie]

Hi Young Lady,

   My daughter would have you believe I hate cops, but like some other things she believes about me that would be wrong. I am critical of police that blow people away when there was no good reason for doing so.I am critical of cops that as you said are in it for the power trip those are donkey tail ends in my book. And I am critical of corrupt cops. I am all that but I respect a policeman for the jobs that they do. It is a dangerous and usually a thankless job. I feel sorry for the anxiety the job causes their families and the anguish they have if their loved one doesn't come home. I think most police deserve the same respect that our military troops deserve. Both sign a blank check when they sign up for service. Both agree to give whatever it takes up to an including their lives in service to the citizens of this country.
  Do thank your Dad for his service for me he sounds like a great guy and a great Dad to be proud of.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Gertrude]

Hi Young Lady,

   My daughter would have you believe I hate cops, but like some other things she believes about me that would be wrong. I am critical of police that blow people away when there was no good reason for doing so.I am critical of cops that as you said are in it for the power trip those are donkey tail ends in my book. And I am critical of corrupt cops. I am all that but I respect a policeman for the jobs that they do. It is a dangerous and usually a thankless job. I feel sorry for the anxiety the job causes their families and the anguish they have if their loved one doesn't come home. I think most police deserve the same respect that our military troops deserve. Both sign a blank check when they sign up for service. Both agree to give whatever it takes up to an including their lives in service to the citizens of this country.
  Do thank your Dad for his service for me he sounds like a great guy and a great Dad to be proud of.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Yeah , I am pretty much with you. Seems that since 9/11, police have become more militarized and autonomic in response to threats. I've read that police try to hire people that don't have high IQs too. There was a court case a while back where someone sued a Connecticut pd for discriminating against people with high IQs. It was found that they did do it, but it doesn't violate any laws and he lost the case. I wonder if that factors in. Conversely, in the late 30's, the nypd had a program where they hire a percentage of recruits that had higher than 130 IQ and they tracked their careers. They rose higher in the ranks, attained more education with many becoming lawyers, some becoming politicians, police commissioners and chiefs. The bigger deal was a much lower disciplinary problems and negative incidents. I think they stopped the program after WWII. So, the PDs know what they want and why and it has consequences.


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[Julia1996]

Yeah , I am pretty much with you. Seems that since 9/11, police have become more militarized and autonomic in response to threats. I've read that police try to hire people that don't have high IQs too. There was a court case a while back where someone sued a Connecticut pd for discriminating against people with high IQs. It was found that they did do it, but it doesn't violate any laws and he lost the case. I wonder if that factors in. Conversely, in the late 30's, the nypd had a program where they hire a percentage of recruits that had higher than 130 IQ and they tracked their careers. They rose higher in the ranks, attained more education with many becoming lawyers, some becoming politicians, police commissioners and chiefs. The bigger deal was a much lower disciplinary problems and negative incidents. I think they stopped the program after WWII. So, the PDs know what they want and why and it has consequences.


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That's not only untrue it's offensive!  Saying all cops have low IQs makes as much sense as saying all trans people are perverts and child molesters. My dad is not stupid. The military is picky about recruits.  If my dad was an idiot the military wouldn't have allowed him to enlist. The only truly stupid thing my dad has done is risking his life everyday for ungrateful people who hate him for doing it.

[Cassi]

That's not only untrue it's offensive!  Saying all cops have low IQs makes as much sense as saying all trans people are perverts and child molesters. My dad is not stupid. The military is picky about recruits.  If my dad was an idiot the military wouldn't have allowed him to enlist. The only truly stupid thing my dad has done is risking his life everyday for ungrateful people who hate him for doing it.

First thing that is performed is the agility test and depending on which department you're going for, the test will be tailored to what they see fit.  Once candidates have "Passed" this test, the next is the written test which is both intelligence and the Minnesota Multiphasic Test.  Then the oral interview.  In not one of these is there a hired the moron clause.

How they represent themselves tends to be the result of where they initially worked.  For example, sheriff's deputies tend to work jails for a few years prior to working the streets and develop a certain mentality.  Feds on the other hand tend to be more poised and rights conscience.