Jess’s mess

[Jessica]

You guys are just wayyy too efficient! Admittedly I've been overwhelmingly busy for the last three weeks, and will be for two more before things finally calm down, but wow, y'all are fast! By the time I find someone new they're warmly in the fold. And that's a good thing. Carry on and I'll be able to jump in with both feet soon.


- Stephanie

After catching up on your trip and thread, I have to agree you've been busy.
I will be visiting "the big fruit" next September......it should be warmer by then.

[Bari Jo]

Congrats on getting out of the funk and levelling up to moderator.  I would love to help myself, but finding time too precious at the moment.  Still, I'm so happy for you.

Bari Jo

[steph2.0]

After catching up on your trip and thread, I have to agree you've been busy.
I will be visiting "the big fruit" next September......it should be warmer by then.

If they stick to the schedule, I may be back in NYC in September to meet Dr. Ting. How cool would it be for us to meet up there?

Stephanie

[Jessica]

Congrats on getting out of the funk and levelling up to moderator.  I would love to help myself, but finding time too precious at the moment.  Still, I'm so happy for you.

Bari Jo

Thank you @Bari Jo!  Being retired does give me more free time to help, but I do have precious time I spend with my grandson.

[Jessica]

If they stick to the schedule, I may be back in NYC in September to meet Dr. Ting. How cool would it be for us to meet up there?

Stephanie

That would be awesome Stephanie!  I believe we will be there in the early half of September.

[Northern Star Girl]

Thank you @Bari Jo!  Being retired does give me more free time to help, but I do have precious time I spend with my grandson.

OK Jessica, I may have to look in the dictionary to get a definition of being retired....   I don't have a concept of that yet at 38 years old and being self-employed running my own small business..... but kudos to you for wisely using your extra free time, first of course, spending time with your grand-kids and family... they always come first.   Then it is nice that you have the time to devote to the Moderator duties here on Susan's.   Your life experience and dedication to helping those that are transtioning is not only admired and noticed by me, but by everyone that reads your posts and replies on the Forums.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Jessica]

OK Jessica, I may have to look in the dictionary to get a definition of being retired....   I don't have a concept of that yet at 38 years old and being self-employed running my own small business..... but kudos to you for wisely using your extra free time, first of course, spending time with your grand-kids and family... they always come first.   Then it is nice that you have the time to devote to the Moderator duties here on Susan's.   Your life experience and dedication to helping those that are transtioning is not only admired and noticed by me, but by everyone that reads your posts and replies on the Forums.
Hugs,
Danielle

I'll have you know that I tend to be on the emotional side (ask Laurie), and when I blush, my eyes leak. 

As far as retirement.... it's the state of work related structural failure, instituting being put out to pasture and being fed yummy oats.

Smiles, Jess

[Northern Star Girl]

I'll have you know that I tend to be on the emotional side (ask Laurie), and when I blush, my eyes leak. 

As far as retirement.... it's the state of work related structural failure, instituting being put out to pasture and being fed yummy oats.

Smiles, Jess

@ Jessica:  As you certainly are aware, you are not alone,  HRT not only changes our body but it changes our mental state... after 3+ years of HRT and going full time about a year and a half ago.... I am many times am an emotional,  crying, babbling mess. 
I can hardly watch a romance movie on Hallmark without using an entire box of tissues any more.

Oh .... and enjoy your yummy oats.   Just wondering, do you miss the work environment at all???
Hugs,
Danielle

[Jessica]

@ Jessica:  As you certainly are aware, you are not alone,  HRT not only changes our body but it changes our mental state... after 3+ years of HRT and going full time about a year and a half ago.... I am many times am an emotional,  crying, babbling mess. 
I can hardly watch a romance movie on Hallmark without using an entire box of tissues any more.

Oh .... and enjoy your yummy oats.   Just wondering, do you miss the work environment at all???
Hugs,
Danielle

I can go through Downtown SF and point out 30+ buildings I had a hand in. 
Do I miss that.... yes, but for 30 years, the company I worked for was a close knit family atmosphere type of shop.  In the last 4 years they went corporate and I became a number.
Buh bye!  I didn't need it, but my knowledge was shared to my close crew and I still continue in that way.

[Jessica]

Just had an interesting conversation with my daughter in law.  She was telling me about how her endocrine system was all out of whack.  That her T was super high and described various ailments she was having from that and what she was taking.
I took the opportunity to open up a dialogue with her about my transgender issue w/o being to obvious, since my grandson was in the other room.  She is the next person I would tell and I trust her like a daughter.  I have requested we have a private talk soon.
The kicker here is she is a Sephora distributor and I see this as a bonus in the future.

Wow, Jess

[Northern Star Girl]

I can go through Downtown SF and point out 30+ buildings I had a hand in.
Do I miss that.... yes, but for 30 years, the company I worked for was a close knit family atmosphere type of shop.  In the last 4 years they went corporate and I became a number.
Buh bye!  I didn't need it, but my knowledge was shared to my close crew and I still continue in that way.

@ Jessica, hopefully you didn't have a hand in with that leaning Condo skyscraper that has cracks in the inadequate foundation....  !!!!   How can something like that happen in an earthquake zone like SF???

Oh yeah, even though I don't have the long work experience that you have, I had "close knit" co-workers and subordinates in the company that I worked for before I transitioned... then when the company was bought out by larger one, it all changed for the worse. 
Not only did my transition from my old male self to Full-Time female over 1 1/2 years ago compel me to quit but also the fact that working there was no longer a pleasant thing.   
Now that I have started and own my own small business...  I get along with the boss very well !!! usually !!!
Hugs,
Danielle

[Northern Star Girl]

Just had an interesting conversation with my daughter in law.  She was telling me about how her endocrine system was all out of whack.  That her T was super high and described various ailments she was having from that and what she was taking.
I took the opportunity to open up a dialogue with her about my transgender issue w/o being to obvious, since my grandson was in the other room.  She is the next person I would tell and I trust her like a daughter.  I have requested we have a private talk soon.
The kicker here is she is a Sephora distributor and I see this as a bonus in the future.

Wow, Jess

@ Jessica:  I take it that even though you have obvious HRT body changes that she is not fully aware of your transition? ...  or is she already now somewhat aware of that?   It sounds like she is inadvertently going through a hormone crisis similar to like we trans do.   Yes, a private talk will certainly be in order.

Ahhh, yes, cosmetics now available from a relative!!!  Good news for sure.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Jessica]

@ Jessica:  I take it that even though you have obvious HRT body changes that she is not fully aware of your transition? ...  or is she already now somewhat aware of that?   It sounds like she is inadvertently going through a hormone crisis similar to like we trans do.   Yes, a private talk will certainly be in order.

Ahhh, yes, cosmetics now available from a relative!!!  Good news for sure.
Hugs,
Danielle

She does not seem to be aware of any changes...other than me removing a mustache I have sported since I was 16, or my hair getting longer, she has remarked I look younger. 
I did tell her that I was on T blockers and other medications this morning and that they help me feel better.  So she may put two and two together by the time we have our private chat.

[Charlie Nicki]

Just had an interesting conversation with my daughter in law.  She was telling me about how her endocrine system was all out of whack.  That her T was super high and described various ailments she was having from that and what she was taking.
I took the opportunity to open up a dialogue with her about my transgender issue w/o being to obvious, since my grandson was in the other room.  She is the next person I would tell and I trust her like a daughter.  I have requested we have a private talk soon.
The kicker here is she is a Sephora distributor and I see this as a bonus in the future.

Wow, Jess

Jess, it's great that you're gonna find a new ally.

[Jessica]

Jess, it's great that you're gonna find a new ally.

It is kinda nice.  I've always felt close to her.

[Michelle_P]

Jessica, I had a similar experience with my sister-in-law, and a friend named Michelle.

I had told them I was starting a long term medical treatment, that I had endocrine system problems (which have been successfully treated, BTW) and that there might be some physical changes as a result.  My skin appearance was already starting to shift at this point, about 4 months into HRT.

They guessed what was up.  Michelle even talked with her husband about this, and had wondered if I might wind up using the same first name as hers.  Yup!

[steph2.0]

@ Jessica, hopefully you didn't have a hand in with that leaning Condo skyscraper that has cracks in the inadequate foundation....  !!!!   How can something like that happen in an earthquake zone like SF???

Oh yeah, even though I don't have the long work experience that you have, I had "close knit" co-workers and subordinates in the company that I worked for before I transitioned... then when the company was bought out by larger one, it all changed for the worse. 
Not only did my transition from my old male self to Full-Time female over 1 1/2 years ago compel me to quit but also the fact that working there was no longer a pleasant thing.   
Now that I have started and own my own small business...  I get along with the boss very well !!! usually !!!
Hugs,
Danielle

I've mentioned this before, but I'm really lucky that I work where I do. The boss is trans, believe it or not, and recently one of the employees started transitioning.

Of course, I'm self-employed.

Stephanie
Boss, employee, and bottlewasher.

[Jessica]

Jessica, I had a similar experience with my sister-in-law, and a friend named Michelle.

I had told them I was starting a long term medical treatment, that I had endocrine system problems (which have been successfully treated, BTW) and that there might be some physical changes as a result.  My skin appearance was already starting to shift at this point, about 4 months into HRT.

They guessed what was up.  Michelle even talked with her husband about this, and had wondered if I might wind up using the same first name as hers.  Yup!

That is on the lines of what I was going to start with, and evolve from there.
On that matter, I know my Sephora pallet...what is yours and Laurie's?

[Jessica]

@ Jessica, hopefully you didn't have a hand in with that leaning Condo skyscraper that has cracks in the inadequate foundation....  !!!!   How can something like that happen in an earthquake zone like SF???

Oh yeah, even though I don't have the long work experience that you have, I had "close knit" co-workers and subordinates in the company that I worked for before I transitioned... then when the company was bought out by larger one, it all changed for the worse. 
Not only did my transition from my old male self to Full-Time female over 1 1/2 years ago compel me to quit but also the fact that working there was no longer a pleasant thing.   
Now that I have started and own my own small business...  I get along with the boss very well !!! usually !!!
Hugs,
Danielle

I had nothing to do with that building......it was my brother, I tells ya!
Actually it started the year I retired and I do believe my brother was on that one. (different company, we couldn't work together, him being 7 years older and me his boss chapped his hide)

Give your boss a hug for me, Jess

[Jessica]

Hi friends,  I've just had a terrible time in the last 24 hrs.  My wife, who had professed support for me, told me yesterday, after I questioned her about it, that she hadn't ever been onboard.  That she didn't want to be in my way and would just leave when she had enough and pull the rug out from under me.  She has always avoided any confrontation, but still knowing this I read her supportive comments incorrectly.
I crashed.....seeing this enlightened her to realizing that we will end if she did not engage in communication.  I told her I would rather quit it all than loose her, to which she said she wanted me to continue and she will actively seek help, instead of just saying "whatever makes you happy".
I do feel hurt that after being together for 38 years, she felt she couldn't talk about it, and that she would have given me all the support I needed (with the belief she would always be there) then just pick up stakes and leave.
She has told me she has no intention of leaving at this point, and I believe her.  She has no problem with me being feminine, and me being gender fluid allows me to be comfortable in each role, but she is nervous about breast growth and she knows I want them.  I've told her the meds will do that, but the other advantages of hrt are important for my health.  She has promised to get counseling and that communication will be paramount.
So I am continuing on a path that will have my wife actually trying to help me rather than placate me.

Time will tell, Jessica