Hi friends, I've just had a terrible time in the last 24 hrs. My wife, who had professed support for me, told me yesterday, after I questioned her about it, that she hadn't ever been onboard. That she didn't want to be in my way and would just leave when she had enough and pull the rug out from under me. She has always avoided any confrontation, but still knowing this I read her supportive comments incorrectly.
I crashed.....seeing this enlightened her to realizing that we will end if she did not engage in communication. I told her I would rather quit it all than loose her, to which she said she wanted me to continue and she will actively seek help, instead of just saying "whatever makes you happy".
I do feel hurt that after being together for 38 years, she felt she couldn't talk about it, and that she would have given me all the support I needed (with the belief she would always be there) then just pick up stakes and leave.
She has told me she has no intention of leaving at this point, and I believe her. She has no problem with me being feminine, and me being gender fluid allows me to be comfortable in each role, but she is nervous about breast growth and she knows I want them. I've told her the meds will do that, but the other advantages of hrt are important for my health. She has promised to get counseling and that communication will be paramount.
So I am continuing on a path that will have my wife actually trying to help me rather than placate me.
Time will tell, Jessica