Jess’s mess

[Jessica]

@Jessica
Dear Jess....  I will repeat the phrase that I seemingly have become know for....
          Wow-whee !!!!!
You and @Laurie both look absolutely terrific... beautiful dressed women. 
I saw the @Michelle_P posting on her thread and her picture behind the pulpit... she is another terrific looking lady and it sounded like it was a good message that she delivered and had good reviews at coffee hour after the service.

Thank you so very much for posting this.... a lovely day for all 3 pretty ladies.
Hugs and well wishes...
Danielle

@Alaskan Danielle @Laurie @Michelle_P

Thank you sweetie!  I do love your tag line "wow-whee".
I think Michelle and Laurie have an advantage over me with their beautifully coifed hairdos.  I think after mine grows out more, I will have a better chance at passing with little question. 

My running girlfriend asked who the lady was next to me when I showed her the picture above, this I believe made Laurie happy when I told her this.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Jessica]

Hi friends, just had a pleasant encounter with a mother and her young (age about eight) son and younger (about 6) daughter.
I was meeting my wife and my running girlfriend for lunch downtown.  While I was sitting on a bench outside the restaurant I noticed the family walking and looking...  in our town there is a group of kids, and adults, who paint designs on rocks, post them on FB and then hide them with clues where they may be.  I heard this family talking about just that.  I looked up and smiled telling them that there were some very pretty rocks around.  They came up to me and showed me the rocks they had found.  The young girl showed me a black stone with glittery pink paint on one side.  I told her it was very pretty and I liked the glitter in the paint.  She smiled at me and asked me if I would like it.   I've learned that when a child offers you something, they mean it.  I happily thanked her and accepted her sweet offer. 
I felt such joy in this interaction that I had leaky eye syndrome afterwards.

When my wife and friend arrived I related this tale, then asked my girlfriend if she could post the pic of the rock I was given and the back story on FB.  I also asked her to add that I asked her daughter to help me find a hiding spot for someone else to find it in.

Was this because I'm more open, caring and thoughtful?  Is it because my increased estrogen makes me more approachable through pheromones?
I have always been outgoing, but to want to have a friendly conversation with a stranger is not the norm I had in the past.

I will point out that I was sitting and appearing in a feminine mode, but having a colorful male cut shirt.  My other clothes I wore and my smile in my eyes all have female cues.

I would like to think hrt has made me think as a woman now and instinctively act as such.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Northern Star Girl]

(Jessica stated)
I would like to think hrt has made me think as a woman now and instinctively act as such.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica ...exactly correct in my opinion.  I am approaching 3 1/2 years of HRT and without any doubt I am perceived as a cis-female by my actions, thoughts, mentality and appearance.... all thanks to my HRT and determination and desire of my heart

My pre-transition core personality was always that of being the kind of person to greet and meet, make friendly gestures and to be the first to say hello, show empathy, etc... but all of that has been significantly enhanced after beginning my transition. 

Many thanks for your wonderful posting... a warm and fuzzy story for sure.
Hugs,
Danielle

[KathyLauren]

What a great story, Jess!

The ability to interact in a friendly manner with strangers is very much a female thing, and I am learning to enjoy it.  It is well within my comfort zone, but not quite within my zone of habit yet.  I am working on it!

Certainly, it does not happen to the same degree in male-male or male-female interactions.  So you are thinking as a woman and are perceived as a woman.  'Cause you are one, of course!

[Jessica]

Hi friends 🌸🌸🌸
One year on hrt!  OMG! I did not see this happening.
I was so unsure in the beginning.
I was scared about what it all may lead to.
There was so much I didn't know.

How have I changed? 
Do I still question the future?  Who doesn't?
Would I have changed anything?  I think the speed I'm going works with me..

The physical changes have been slow and subtle. 
Love my breasts, I'm blessed with good genes and have gotten to "c" cups.
I've lost 3" in my band measurement and added 2" in my bust measurement.
Lost 5" in my waist dimension, along with a loss of 35 lbs.
My butt is clearly larger, and my muscles are lean but strong.
My skin is softer, and my dry flaky skin is healthy.
My face has smoothed out, losing deep smile lines to a mere shadow.
I've opted for less body hair and my legs are smooth.
My mustache of 35 years is gone, never to return.
The (small) bald spot on the top of my head has disappeared.
My hair is returning to the length I had for 25 years (to the small of my back) when I cut it 20 years ago.  I missed it more than I thought I would.  Still going to take a bit with that.
I've added physical cues such as nail polish on the fingers and toes, feminine styled clothes (but still androgynous shirts when not presenting as a woman), walking, talking and mannerisms are more feminine.  These are full time changes that are compatible with being gender fluid.

Psychological changes have been a pleasure and a pain.
Love the ease I find in talking to others, especially women.
Hate the roller coaster ride though.
Love being happy all the time.  Always have been, but more so.
Hate feeling sensitive about things I've over-inflated in my mind.
Love knowing that I'm becoming who I am.
Hate knowing I'll never have the real life experience of growing up a girl, then a woman.

My relationship with my loved ones are strong and the ones that know are comfortable with where I'm going.
I've met new friends that have become my family both here on line at Susan's Place and in person.  I value these with a high degree of love.

I see a bright future.

Hugs and smiles, Jessica 🌸🌸🌸

[Laurie]

  Hi Lil Sis,

  A whole year huh?  It has gone by pretty fast hasn't it? Congratulations Sis, Yes, you are family by virtue of all the hard work I've had to put into you. Not just me though but Michelle has been right there for that in person personal touch to help out. You've come a long way and have learned a lot about yourself and who you are. We've had fun watching and helping you a bit. Yeah Family alright. Even those wild flights into emotions have been interesting even if I've been in your crosshairs recently. But we have gotten past them haven't we?
  As for the rollercoaster ride, you were warned to fasten your seat belt and to hang on tight weren't you? Yes it has been one heck of a ride and Hun it ain't over yet.

  Love ya Jess,
  Laurie

[Northern Star Girl]

@Jessica
Dear Jessica:  Wowzers!  ONE YEAR HRT ANNIVERSARY....
Congratulations are certianly in order for you... Happy HRT Birthday

I love how you chronicled your last year of body and mind changes.
... and I love more what you stated in your last sentence...
          "I see a bright future."

Now, on to your 2nd year and more good things to come.... 
Great things are ahead for you... and therefore for us, your friends.

Hugs and well wishes as always,🌸🌸🌸
Danielle
         

[Kendra]

Jess, there are some posts that make me stop and think - and then come back to the post and think some more.  You just did that.  Thank you. 

There is so much in this.  I don't think you intended a poem but it almost reads that way.  It is from your heart.

Kendra

[Northern Star Girl]

Jess, there are some posts that make me stop and think - and then come back to the post and think some more.  You just did that.  Thank you. 

There is so much in this.  I don't think you intended a poem but it almost reads that way.  It is from your heart.

Kendra

@Kendra     
Dear Kendra....   I agree with what you stated. 
In fact when I read Jessica's post and then read it again and then once again I was thinking that it sure looked like a beautiful and heartfelt poem that she had written, or at least it was formatted and worded similar to a poem....

So, it got me to thinking...
... and I am now formally requesting @Jessica to submit her "One Year" writing
to my "Susans Writers and Book Readers" thread ......
.....  please Jessica, consider this, but only if you feel comfortable doing it... thank you.

Thank you Kendra for your comments...

Hugs,
Danielle

[Jessica]

@Laurie @Kendra @Alaskan Danielle

Jess, there are some posts that make me stop and think - and then come back to the post and think some more.  You just did that.  Thank you. 

There is so much in this.  I don't think you intended a poem but it almost reads that way.  It is from your heart.

Kendra

Thank you Kendra 🌸🌸🌸 I have a pedantic cadence with the way I write, and yes I have noticed it can be poetic.  This was from my heart my soul.  My style is meant to invoke thought as it moves stiltedly at times from point to point.  I'm happy you enjoyed my brisk narrative.

@Kendra     
Dear Kendra....   I agree with what you stated. 
In fact when I read Jessica's post and then read it again and then once again I was thinking that it sure looked like a beautiful and heartfelt poem that she had written, or at least it was formatted and worded similar to a poem....

So, it got me to thinking...
... and I am now formally requesting @Jessica to submit her "One Year" writing
to my "Susans Writers and Book Readers" thread ......
.....  please Jessica, consider this, but only if you feel comfortable doing it... thank you.

Thank you Kendra for your comments...

Hugs,
Danielle

I am inclined to do as you ask Danielle.  I appreciate that you find value in its addition to this thread that opens ones self to expression of words.

  Hi Lil Sis,

  A whole year huh?  It has gone by pretty fast hasn't it? Congratulations Sis, Yes, you are family by virtue of all the hard work I've had to put into you. Not just me though but Michelle has been right there for that in person personal touch to help out. You've come a long way and have learned a lot about yourself and who you are. We've had fun watching and helping you a bit. Yeah Family alright. Even those wild flights into emotions have been interesting even if I've been in your crosshairs recently. But we have gotten past them haven't we?
  As for the rollercoaster ride, you were warned to fasten your seat belt and to hang on tight weren't you? Yes it has been one heck of a ride and Hun it ain't over yet.

  Love ya Jess,
  Laurie

Thank you sis...you read volumes between the lines correctly.


Love you all🌸🌸🌸, Jess

[LauraE]

Congratulations. Apparently, you've been blessed by the boob fairy.

I'm curious about your reduction in band width and waist measurements. Surely, your weight loss has had an impact, but I'm wondering whether HRT has also had an impact at reducing your band width. Would that be an effect of muscle mass loss?

Laura

[Jessica]

@lauraelliott1951

Congratulations. Apparently, you've been blessed by the boob fairy.

I'm curious about your reduction in band width and waist measurements. Surely, your weight loss has had an impact, but I'm wondering whether HRT has also had an impact at reducing your band width. Would that be an effect of muscle mass loss?

Laura

Hi Laura 🙋‍♀️ Thank you so much 🌸🌸🌸  I'm certain that my weight loss played a part....but my weight loss was an effect of hrt combined with a healthy diet and exercise.  Muscle loss definitely shaped things also.
My biggest figure change is definitely my boobs.  They started activity in the first month and keep battling it out for which is larger.  Right now Rhonda is in the lead.

Hugs and smiles, Jessica

[Northern Star Girl]

@lauraelliott1951

Hi Laura 🙋‍♀️ Thank you so much 🌸🌸🌸  I'm certain that my weight loss played a part....but my weight loss was an effect of hrt combined with a healthy diet and exercise.  Muscle loss definitely shaped things also.
My biggest figure change is definitely my boobs.  They started activity in the first month and keep battling it out for which is larger.  Right now Rhonda is in the lead.

Hugs and smiles, Jessica

Dear Jess: the good news is that they might more or less even out during your next year of HRT....   mine were way out of sync until about the 1 1/2 year mark and now they a C cups and both about the same size and appearance.

Of course every body is different... as we all say on here YMMV.

Keep us abreast of your progress....   pun is definitely intended.

Hugs,
Danielle

[LauraE]

Yes, I'm well aware of the YMMV rule, so I have no expectations about boob size. I, too have been dieting since coming out the second time. I'm happily 10 pounds lighter, but I'm still about 10 pounds from my goal of 152. When I saw jess' post about losing band width, my first thought was, "you mean, I'll have to buy all new clothes in a few months?" I do love shopping, and I'd love a smaller figure, but my, oh, my can being a woman be expensive.

Laura

[Northern Star Girl]

Yes, I'm well aware of the YMMV rule, so I have no expectations about boob size. I, too have been dieting since coming out the second time. I'm happily 10 pounds lighter, but I'm still about 10 pounds from my goal of 152. When I saw jess' post about losing band width, my first thought was, "you mean, I'll have to buy all new clothes in a few months?" I do love shopping, and I'd love a smaller figure, but my, oh, my can being a woman be expensive.

Laura

@lauraelliott1951
Dear Laura:  Regarding transitioning and HRT, yes you may have to do some more clothes shopping. 
In the more than 3 1/2 years of HRT I have had to modify clothing sizes 3 times now... even my shoe size got almost a full size smaller. 
A small price to pay for reaching my transition goals.... When I became full time over 1 1/2 years ago I immediately got rid of all of my male clothes and also had to get rid of my larger women's clothes that were too big.

Congratulations on your weight loss efforts.... only 10 pounds to go.... keep on keeping on and be sure to keep us updated.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Jessica]

@Laurie

Well I have been scolded by my sister Laurie for having fun when I should be doing the Mod thing.  I feel I'm investigating different aspects of being who I am with a close cis girlfriend.  Deep conversations.  Hugs and smiles between us. We have spent the last two days together sans spouses.  Strictly platonic!
I know this will help me sharing what may help many of us.

Right now I'm on the Santa Cruz Beach watching "Los Lonely Boys" on the sand.
This shows me how I can have fun even under duress from my sister.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Laurie]

@Laurie

Well I have been scolded by my sister Laurie for having fun when I should be doing the Mod thing. ,,,


... This shows me how I can have fun even under duress from my sister.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Fridge ----->  NOW!

[LizK]

Fridge ----->  NOW!

Jesssssica's is in trouble

Jesssssica's is in trouble

Jesssssica's is in trouble....

Nar nar nanar

[Jessica]

Jesssssica's is in trouble

Jesssssica's is in trouble

Jesssssica's is in trouble....

Nar nar nanar

@ElizabethK @Laurie @Michelle_P 

Yes Liz, as we all know that if we cross our "Wandering Waifs" wishes, she will put you on top of the icebox.  Make sure you have placed it in an area with good headspace! 
Extreme yoga was necessary for the 8" gap on mine.  A bit stiff this morning, but she did let me have a blanket.
She has her passport now, so we all need to worry.

I will exact my revenge by gifting her with some cute socks I found with Badgers on them.  Little will she know they are scented so Mistress Michelle's Honey Badgers can keep a better eye on her.

Hugs and neck cramps, Jess

[Jessica]

I've mentioned a cis-girlfriend I have...
We have become quite close in the sisterly sense.
Our thoughts and actions appear to have synced together, seemingly reading each other's minds.
We have shared with each other our deepest thoughts... things kept in strict confidence.
This woman is a workmate and friend of my wife's also.  My friend has the option to talk with her and my wife is fine with that if she wants. 

What I have found with her is a doorway to the world of women!

Hugs and smiles, Jess