Jess’s mess

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
WOW-WHEE ...
your new amazing avatar/profile picture ...   beautiful !!!!.
...you look absolutely terrific.
Thank you for treating all of us with your new picture.
Hugs,
Danielle

Thank you Danielle 🌸🌸🌸 my lovely friend @Laurie is the one who has taken my last few avatar pics.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Jessica]

Well friends...... I broke my gal pal running partner. 
After a few days of accelerated pace of 1/2 zombie speed (half the speed you run in blind terror) she blew her knee out. 
We have both been despondent at the loss of exercise together and are going to take slow walks instead, till she gets better.  She is fine walking and she will be wearing a brace.  She is fearful of gaining back the weight she lost in the last two months. 
So we will support each other while talking the girl talk that we talk and walking the girlwalk that we walk.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Northern Star Girl]

Well friends...... I broke my gal pal running partner. 
After a few days of accelerated pace of 1/2 zombie speed (half the speed you run in blind terror) she blew her knee out. 
We have both been despondent at the loss of exercise together and are going to take slow walks instead, till she gets better.  She is fine walking and she will be wearing a brace.  She is fearful of gaining back the weight she lost in the last two months. 
So we will support each other while talking the girl talk that we talk and walking the girlwalk that we walk.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:   I am so very sorry to hear this about your gal friend running partner.  She needs to take it slow so it can heal properly...  For the immediate days ahead the slow walking is probably the best choice for her.... patience is needed during this time of healing.

Please keep us posted.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

[Jessica]

I promise I am up to no good!  Out with my girlfriends sowing chaos!

[LizK]

Hi Jessica

Thought I would let you know that the hugs were delivered and received(Thankyou) via Cindy....nice pic by the way!!

Liz

[Jessica]

@LizK

Hi Jessica

Thought I would let you know that the hugs were delivered and received(Thankyou) via Cindy....nice pic by the way!!

Liz

Thank you Liz!  I'm imagining that you received the one I asked Cindy to give you.
Thank you for the compliment, Michelle took that pic on our day out today.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Northern Star Girl]

I promise I am up to no good!  Out with my girlfriends sowing chaos!

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
...  "sowing chaos" is so much fun especially with good friends.
 
Your newest and latest pictures that you post here on your thread and also the pictures that you post on other various threads are a treat for all of us to view.  ...

Thank you for feeling comfortable sharing your life details on your thread
for all of your readers and followers to enjoy.

Hugs,
Danielle

[Jessica]

Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ After telling myself just yesterday " I don't care if I don't see anyone from my past",  I get a visit from a friend that I had not seen for 20+ years.  She saw my new FB profile picture and had her scratching her head.  Who is that?  Is that a woman with ****'s wife.  No...that's my friend, I need to get ahold of "him"! 
She visited with her 18 mo. grandson.  Big hugs and kisses, swam in the pool with the little one, then relaxed in the gazebo.
I told her everything....................
She is entirely supportive and said that it explains the boobs, smooth legs, feminine body shape, nails and the way I walked.
We were quite close when we were younger and I was the best "man" at her wedding.
She said she hadn't suspected but it made sense since I never was like all the other guys in our clique. It wasn't that I was out of place, it was that I did things differently, not macho, not demanding, more in line to how a woman did things.

I feel like ......wow!  This is happening!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

I've been under the impression for awhile that Jess's Mess has outlived it's life.  All but a very few members ever visit it any longer.  I don't need it to record my progress for posterity.  I don't need the platitudes.  I think it helped some for a bit, but with all the other new members and their own stories, mine is just something more to read out of too much.

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ After telling myself just yesterday " I don't care if I don't see anyone from my past",  I get a visit from a friend that I had not seen for 20+ years.  She saw my new FB profile picture and had her scratching her head.  Who is that?  Is that a woman with ****'s wife.  No...that's my friend, I need to get ahold of "him"! 
She visited with her 18 mo. grandson.  Big hugs and kisses, swam in the pool with the little one, then relaxed in the gazebo.
I told her everything....................
She is entirely supportive and said that it explains the boobs, smooth legs, feminine body shape, nails and the way I walked.
We were quite close when we were younger and I was the best "man" at her wedding.
She said she hadn't suspected but it made sense since I never was like all the other guys in our clique. It wasn't that I was out of place, it was that I did things differently, not macho, not demanding, more in line to how a woman did things.

I feel like ......wow!  This is happening!

Hugs and smiles, Jess
I've been under the impression for awhile that Jess's Mess has outlived it's life.  All but a very few members ever visit it any longer.  I don't need it to record my progress for posterity.  I don't need the platitudes.  I think it helped some for a bit, but with all the other new members and their own stories, mine is just something more to read out of too much.
.
.
.

Dear JESS:   THE FOLLOWING IS AN IMPORTANT REPLY COMMENT, please read carefully.
@Jessica:
Dear Jess... thank you for keeping your fans updated.... that was a great recap of meeting your old friend and that  now she has seen the new-you and accepts you as you are!!!!   It doesn't get much better than that.
...

Please, oh please Jess, stop that kind of talk about your thread...  IT HAS NOT OUTLIVED IT'S LIFE....  and yes, many other members have their own stories and their own threads, including myself.
      I am wondering, do you think that I should end my personal thread too

And yes, you do indeed need to continue your thread, not only for encouraging other members, which it does well, but also please tell me what is wrong with getting built up with platitudes and caring thoughts from other members when you post that you are having times of feeling down? 

Also, as we have discussed a few times, your personal thread is YOUR JOURNAL.... it is good personal therapy to do this.... and yes, you do need to record your progress as you move toward your transition goals and you need to share it with your readers and followers...  at our stage of transition our goals and attitudes about being trans are changing in such a way that we, with the help of our threads and postings,  can be of encouragement to others that need to see positive stories and give them a chance to see that they can be successful also.

I know that I am not the only Forums Member here that regularly reads, follows and comments on your thread and your other postings around the forums. 
Every time I log in to Susan's I look at your thread for any new postings or replies that may have shown up since I was last online.

Please, do not do what you are thinking of doing... please keep your thread alive for the reasons that I have just stated.

Your faithful follower, good friend, and one of your biggest fans.
Hugs and well wishes as always...
Danielle

[Jessica]

Dear JESS:   THE FOLLOWING IS AN IMPORTANT REPLY COMMENT, please read carefully.
@Jessica:
Dear Jess... thank you for keeping your fans updated.... that was a great recap of meeting your old friend and that  now she has seen the new-you and accepts you as you are!!!!   It doesn't get much better than that.
...

Please, oh please Jess, stop that kind of talk about your thread...  IT HAS NOT OUTLIVED IT'S LIFE....  and yes, many other members have their own stories and their own threads, including myself.
      I am wondering, do you think that I should end my personal thread too

And yes, you do indeed need to continue your thread, not only for encouraging other members, which it does well, but also please tell me what is wrong with getting built up with platitudes and caring thoughts from other members when you post that you are having times of feeling down? 

Also, as we have discussed a few times, your personal thread is YOUR JOURNAL.... it is good personal therapy to do this.... and yes, you do need to record your progress as you move toward your transition goals and you need to share it with your readers and followers...  at our stage of transition our goals and attitudes about being trans are changing in such a way that we, with the help of our threads and postings,  can be of encouragement to others that need to see positive stories and give them a chance to see that they can be successful also.

I know that I am not the only Forums Member here that regularly reads, follows and comments on your thread and your other postings around the forums. 
Every time I log in to Susan's I look at your thread for any new postings or replies that may have shown up since I was last online.

Please, do not do what you are thinking of doing... please keep your thread alive for the reasons that I have just stated.

Your faithful follower, good friend, and one of your biggest fans.
Hugs and well wishes as always...
Danielle

Well that's just silly Danielle, why would I want a riot at Susan's Place?

Thank you for your concern, but you're one voice out of many, and the silence of older friends says a lot of how it is received

[Northern Star Girl]

Well that's just silly Danielle, why would I want a riot at Susan's Place?

Thank you for your concern, but you're one voice out of many, and the silence of older friends says a lot of how it is received

@Jessica
Dear Jess:  
Well, I will put it to you this way so it will become much clearer to you.....

If you end your personal thread "Jess's mess" ... in response I will also
end my personal thread "The Hunted Prey :  Danielle's Chronicles"

You need you to keep telling your story, we all need to keep telling our stories,  it is good therapy even if no one comments.... but do know that you have many readers, followers and there are some like myself that will share thoughts and comments on your thread.   Not everyone will post a comment but many do read your thread. 

.... and, as you know, and other members know this too regarding their threads, I will bug you tenaciously if you don't keep it updated with posts and photos as you feel comfortable doing.

After all, you definitely don't want me knocking on your door with my demands, do you???

Hugs and more hugs as always,
Danielle

[Laurie]

 I am and have been anything but silent though it is normally off of Susan's. This time is no exception as you well know.

[Michelle_P]

Jessica, our various 'transition log' threads may not attract much in the way of comment from others, but they are definitely read by others.

I started mine as a running log of my transition and now continue it as much as a record of my ongoing life after social transition, as a transition record for ongoing medical work.  I get very few comments, from a small group of people, but I also know that many more read or have read it, and that simply seeing the path that someone has taken, and the changes in their lives and the attitudes expressed in the writing have given those still closeted, or early in the process of self-acceptance some hope.

That is why I continue it.  I want others in the community to know that there is hope, that there is the possibility of just living a boring day-to-day life in their gender identity, with peace and happiness replacing anxiety and depression.  I want others to know that there is a possibility of life without gender dysphoria.

I encourage you to continue your thread in the hopes that you will illuminate another pathway through transition to a place of peace and new-found joy.  I've seen the potential for this in your eyes, and I would like to see you realize this for yourself as well as share this journey of self-realization with others.

[Jessica]

@Jessica
Dear Jess:  
Well, I will put it to you this way so it will become much clearer to you.....

If you end your personal thread "Jess's mess" ... in response I will also
end my personal thread "The Hunted Prey :  Danielle's Chronicles"

You need you to keep telling your story, we all need to keep telling our stories,  it is good therapy even if no one comments.... but do know that you have many readers, followers and there are some like myself that will share thoughts and comments on your thread.   Not everyone will post a comment but many do read your thread. 

.... and, as you know, and other members know this too regarding their threads, I will bug you tenaciously if you don't keep it updated with posts and photos as you feel comfortable doing.

After all, you definitely don't want me knocking on your door with my demands, do you???

Hugs and more hugs as always,
Danielle

This is blackmail!  How would you know if I truly stopped?  Maybe I just have nothing more to say at the moment.

Btw, when you hit Washington head south on 5 bear left at 580, I'm a mile from the airport.

[steph2.0]

Jess, don't even consider going silent on us! You're on my watch list even if I don't say a lot. I hit this same wall that you and some of my other friends have smacked into, wondering why I was bothering. Then I saw the number of hits my thread has. I'm still blown away that while it has about 1900 posts, it is coming up on 50,000 reads. I have no idea who's out there since I only get responses from a tiny circle of dear friends, but obviously someone is out there.

I just checked. This thread has a little over 400 posts, and it's near 11,000 reads. If you quit you're going to disappoint a lot of shy people.

I suggest you do as I decided: post for yourself as a journal. Doing that has been incredibly helpful for me when I'm feeling down. Looking back at the victories and celebrations have helped pull me out of some dark places in the past.

Fingers crossed that you're going to stick around.

Your friend,


Stephanie

[Jessica]

@Steph2.0 @Alaskan Danielle

Jess, don't even consider going silent on us! You're on my watch list even if I don't say a lot. I hit this same wall that you and some of my other friends have smacked into, wondering why I was bothering. Then I saw the number of hits my thread has. I'm still blown away that while it has about 1900 posts, it is coming up on 50,000 reads. I have no idea who's out there since I only get responses from a tiny circle of dear friends, but obviously someone is out there.

I just checked. This thread has a little over 400 posts, and it's near 11,000 reads. If you quit you're going to disappoint a lot of shy people.

I suggest you do as I decided: post for yourself as a journal. Doing that has been incredibly helpful for me when I'm feeling down. Looking back at the victories and celebrations have helped pull me out of some dark places in the past.

Fingers crossed that you're going to stick around.

Your friend,


Stephanie

Honestly Stephanie the post count is irrelevant to me. 
It's not a competition, I was just thinking that it hadn't been that helpful. 
What can be gained by the minutia of my life. 
It's simple, basic, hum drum, a bit of a bore.

Then I reviewed it and I do see that it shows my close interactions with life as a woman. 
Day and extended trips with girlfriends.  Tears and smiles included.
Has it truly helped anybody?  Probably, I hope so, but that too is irrelevant.
If I don't continue Danielle will protest by withholding Hunted Prey!
Oh the Humanity!!!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Northern Star Girl]

@Steph2.0 @Alaskan Danielle

Honestly Stephanie the post count is irrelevant to me. 
It's not a competition, I was just thinking that it hadn't been that helpful. 
What can be gained by the minutia of my life. 
It's simple, basic, hum drum, a bit of a bore.

Then I reviewed it and I do see that it shows my close interactions with life as a woman. 
Day and extended trips with girlfriends.  Tears and smiles included.
Has it truly helped anybody?  Probably, I hope so, but that too is irrelevant.
If I don't continue Danielle will protest by withholding Hunted Prey!
Oh the Humanity!!!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:  I am wondering what this is all about?  Really about!!! 
I am sorry to think that you may be going through some difficult emotional turmoil of sorts....  how can we help you to get back to your happy place again?   I am all ears and eager to hear your story either here on a PM if that is what you would rather do.

Please know that since I have been on Susan's ...I very early on found you to be an instrumental part of the forums, an exemplary example,  and a mentor to so many on here, newbies and older regulars included.  Your thread and your continuing comments are always encouraging and helpful to so many of your regulars... and many readers that you do not know about.

And yes Jess, if you do end your thread, I will indeed protest. We have special ways of dealing with problem friends here where I live. 
I will be looking forward to your next updates and new wonderful life events that you care to post.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle @Michelle_P @Laurie

@Jessica
Dear Jess:  I am wondering what this is all about?  Really about!!! 
I am sorry to think that you may be going through some difficult emotional turmoil of sorts....  how can we help you to get back to your happy place again?   I am all ears and eager to hear your story either here on a PM if that is what you would rather do.

Please know that since I have been on Susan's ...I very early on found you to be an instrumental part of the forums, an exemplary example,  and a mentor to so many on here, newbies and older regulars included.  Your thread and your continuing comments are always encouraging and helpful to so many of your regulars... and many readers that you do not know about.

And yes Jess, if you do end your thread, I will indeed protest. We have special ways of dealing with problem friends here where I live. 
I will be looking forward to your next updates and new wonderful life events that you care to post.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

My dearest Danielle, you are the empath I know you to be 🌸🌸🌸
Yes, this is about something.

With increased E, I become emotional (as Laurie or Michelle can attest to), combine that with becoming more aware, the definite physical changes, experiencing being a woman in the public eye (and feeling comfortable doing so), having close friends that are accepting and the feeling that there is more that I originally thought I needed in my transition.
The expression "the light at the end of the tunnel" does not apply as I am miles away and I have only trekked slowly and dodging the trains as they go by.  The last train I believe hit me directly as I spoke with my dear old friend from when I was young.  The acceptance she gave showed me even more that I can do this.
Now add in my wife's truthfully proclaimed declaration that she absolutely has no plans of leaving me and that she loves me very much.
That sounds wonderful...right?
Except that she refuses to discuss this still.  She understands the basic thought but ignores the details.
Thus, my frustrations.

Did I take it out on a friend this morning?  I may have.  I have apologized and we are good still.

Did I take it out on my thread?  I may have done that also.

Did I take it out on my readers of said thread.  I pray I didn't. 

Remember the title???  This is Jess's Mess

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Northern Star Girl]

@Alaskan Danielle @Michelle_P @Laurie

My dearest Danielle, you are the empath I know you to be 🌸🌸🌸
Yes, this is about something.

With increased E, I become emotional (as Laurie or Michelle can attest to), combine that with becoming more aware, the definite physical changes, experiencing being a woman in the public eye (and feeling comfortable doing so), having close friends that are accepting and the feeling that there is more that I originally thought I needed in my transition.
The expression "the light at the end of the tunnel" does not apply as I am miles away and I have only trekked slowly and dodging the trains as they go by.  The last train I believe hit me directly as I spoke with my dear old friend from when I was young.  The acceptance she gave showed me even more that I can do this.
Now add in my wife's truthfully proclaimed declaration that she absolutely has no plans of leaving me and that she loves me very much.
That sounds wonderful...right?
Except that she refuses to discuss this still.  She understands the basic thought but ignores the details.
Thus, my frustrations.

Did I take it out on a friend this morning?  I may have.  I have apologized and we are good still.

Did I take it out on my thread?  I may have done that also.

Did I take it out on my readers of said thread.  I pray I didn't. 

Remember the title???  This is Jess's Mess

Hugs and smiles, humble Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Thank you so very much for leveling with me... I am so upset with myself on your behalf for not seeing this coming ... there were hints that I should have seen... I am also upset that you are dealing with all of this without me or any other of your friends that I know of at your side.  Please know that I am  vicariously by your side... my online presence is with you as it always has been since we met.

That is a good news/bad news report about your wife... I am sorry that you are frustrated with this but you are still very fortunate that she wants to stay with you and that she still loves you... I know that you also understand that when a partner transitions it can be a most difficult thing for the other partner.

So anyway Jess, I stand by to help you to get back on track and get back to your happy place.... and I am available to help you to get your thread back on track as well.  Tell me what you want met to do.

Thank you again for your honesty in eventually helping yourself deal with these difficult issues....  I am always by your side ready to support you.  Please PM me if you wish.

BIG Hugs for you... and I am praying and trusting for happy times ahead.
Danielle

[Northern Star Girl]

For my very good friend Jess:



You are loved and appreciated here on your thread, on the Forums and on Susan's Place.

Hugs, and lots more hugs,
Danielle