Jess’s mess

[Jessica]

@Kendra

Wow this is so cool!  Great photo, although that helmet covers your eyebrows. 

Eyebrows... I had them re-shaped by my electrologist a couple years ago.  That was an immediate and permanent improvement.

I know your a girl that is always on the go, daring and built to bounce.  Though this seems like a way to hurt yourself (kinda like climbing on furniture) a five point harness holds you in tight and right. 
I have an appointment with my doctor to get the electrolysis in motion on my face and if I feel confident they have the skill, I will want this!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Jessica]

Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I have just returned from a mentally stressful camping trip with friends.
Out of 13 of us, only two were controlled by T.  Seven of us live on E, the rest were children.
4 of the women (including myself, even though I was not presenting) had experience in camping to a degree we were not lost on anything.  Being in male mode, it was up to me as the dominant one, to direct the two on T on anything and everything.  They were morons and had no common sense in most aspects of life. 
I did not want this role, but I was the only one they would listen to, or they would have done nothing except look blankly at the many chores involved right in front of them!

I still had a good time with my girlfriends.  I was just disgusted with those two.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Faith]

isn't that one of the times that you're supposed to get an exasperated look, say "MEN!" and shake your head?

Glad the girls where there to make your trip worth it

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I have just returned from a mentally stressful camping trip with friends.
Out of 13 of us, only two were controlled by T.  Seven of us live on E, the rest were children.
4 of the women (including myself, even though I was not presenting) had experience in camping to a degree we were not lost on anything.  Being in male mode, it was up to me as the dominant one, to direct the two on T on anything and everything.  They were morons and had no common sense in most aspects of life. 
I did not want this role, but I was the only one they would listen to, or they would have done nothing except look blankly at the many chores involved right in front of them!

I still had a good time with my girlfriends.  I was just disgusted with those two.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I hear you....   man or woman, T or E, there are some folks that are just clueless.  Even though I have been full time and living here and known here as a woman, I sometimes find myself in the same position that you described... 

In some situations and group activities it can be apparent that no one is stepping up to the plate and everyone is running around like they have no brains or initiative so I then will reluctantly take the lead and get everyone back on track... 

I see this occasionally with my gal-friend groups that consist of only cis-females ... and also with mixed groups of both men and women sometimes.   
The interesting thing for me is that when there is a typical strong willed and knowledgeable man or woman in the group I try to make certain that I step back and let them be in command... just as long as they do the right thing.

Thanks for writing and getting this off of your chest.... do  know that you are not alone with that sort of interactions and with all that E bubbling in our veins and in our brains, it can be most frustrating for sure.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Northern Star Girl]

isn't that one of the times that you're supposed to get an exasperated look, say "MEN!" and shake your head?

Glad the girls where there to make your trip worth it

@Faith
What you stated is very appropriate....     MEN !!!! !!!!   

Oh wow, I just noticed that you have EXACTLY  1000  posts .... 
... thank you for your continued involvement in the Forums and for your wonderful comments.   
Thank you also for keeping your personal thread up to date.

One more thing, I am so happy to see that you are keeping your lovely picture posted as your Avatar...  it is truely wonderful to see it as I frequently review your various postings and your thread.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle @Faith

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I hear you....   man or woman, T or E, there are some folks that are just clueless.  Even though I have been full time and living here and known here as a woman, I sometimes find myself in the same position that you described... 

In some situations and group activities it can be apparent that no one is stepping up to the plate and everyone is running around like they have no brains or initiative so I then will reluctantly take the lead and get everyone back on track... 

I see this occasionally with my gal-friend groups that consist of only cis-females ... and also with mixed groups of both men and women sometimes.   
The interesting thing for me is that when there is a typical strong willed and knowledgeable man or woman in the group I try to make certain that I step back and let them be in command... just as long as they do the right thing.

Thanks for writing and getting this off of your chest.... do  know that you are not alone with that sort of interactions and with all that E bubbling in our veins and in our brains, it can be most frustrating for sure.
Hugs,
Danielle

You're of course correct Danielle, and certainly the reality of strong women is out there.  I guess it had become so glaringly obvious (but only to me, my wife and the woman that was married to one and mother of the other) that the "only men" were helpless and clueless, to the rest they seemed lost.
I truly do believe that we are individuals with our own style of living.  Theses styles are grouped variously, these two are mouth breathers that want to be waited on hand and foot.
Sorry for the rant, I'm just tired of being a mother!

isn't that one of the times that you're supposed to get an exasperated look, say "MEN!" and shake your head?

Glad the girls where there to make your trip worth it

Congratulations Faith on 1000 posts, and yes I did say "MEN!" Under my breath while shaking my head .....often!  It sure is nice having girlfriends I can relate with.  Most know me only as male, but welcome me into even intimate discussions.

[Faith]

Thanks Jess, I didn't even notice until Danielle said something about it. I'm surprised I made it past 10 let alone 1000. I guess I'm pretty mouthy for an introvert.

[steph2.0]

isn't that one of the times that you're supposed to get an exasperated look, say "MEN!" and shake your head?

OMG, yes! Cassie and I do enormous eye rolls at each other and say "GUYS!!" far too often. The correct response is always, "I know, right?!"

I didn't understand them as I pretended to be one for fifty years, and I understand them even less now. I love not having to put that costume on any more!

Stephanie

[Charlie Nicki]

Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I have just returned from a mentally stressful camping trip with friends.
Out of 13 of us, only two were controlled by T.  Seven of us live on E, the rest were children.
4 of the women (including myself, even though I was not presenting) had experience in camping to a degree we were not lost on anything.  Being in male mode, it was up to me as the dominant one, to direct the two on T on anything and everything.  They were morons and had no common sense in most aspects of life. 
I did not want this role, but I was the only one they would listen to, or they would have done nothing except look blankly at the many chores involved right in front of them!

I still had a good time with my girlfriends.  I was just disgusted with those two.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Haha! Poor clueless boys. Thank God you were there.

[Jessica]

I made the grave mistake of looking through old life photos.  Ones that stretch back 38 years at the beginning of my wife's and my marriage.  Not something I suggest when emotional.

Hugs, Jess

[Northern Star Girl]

I made the grave mistake of looking through old life photos.  Ones that stretch back 38 years at the beginning of my wife's and my marriage.  Not something I suggest when emotional.

Hugs, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Oh my, oh my.... old male-self photos and early marriage photos may not be the best thing for you to be looking at.... obviously in your present emotional state... please put the family photo book away for now.
Might I suggest that you get dressed up tomorrow and go out with your wife and/or friends and try to get your mind back to your normally happy place.  Lunch?  Walk in the park?  A picnic?  Dinner?  Ahhhh... perhaps shopping!!!!!      Shopping is very therapeutic for sure.

I am sending big HUGS and more HUGS your way,
Danielle. 

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Oh my, oh my.... old male-self photos and early marriage photos may not be the best thing for you to be looking at.... obviously in your present emotional state... please put the family photo book away for now.
Might I suggest that you get dressed up tomorrow and go out with your wife and/or friends and try to get your mind back to your normally happy place.  Lunch?  Walk in the park?  A picnic?  Dinner?  Ahhhh... perhaps shopping!!!!!      Shopping is very therapeutic for sure.

I am sending big HUGS and more HUGS your way,
Danielle. 

Thank you Danielle, my son in Minnesota asked for some baby pictures of himself. 
I couldn't say no. 

Lots of conflicting thoughts.  My saving grace is the fact my wife is still with me and is not considering leaving at all.  38 years of a happy life unfolded in 4 boxes of picture albums.

On Friday I will be seeing about getting facial hair removal.  I wanted to go out for lunch with Michelle's roommate afterwards, but unfortunately her days are not always Saturday like myself and needs to be at work.

Thank you again dear friend 🌸🌸🌸

[Jessica]

I put away the albums, my son has all the baby pictures he needs.  They are for a baby shower game where the mother tries to guess who is which baby.  Sounds like fun!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Northern Star Girl]

I put away the albums, my son has all the baby pictures he needs.  They are for a baby shower game where the mother tries to guess who is which baby.  Sounds like fun!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
What helps me a lot with the "old" picture dellema is that when I started to transtion I started keeping my "new" pictures in new picture albums... they are kept in concert with my personal pen and paper journal.  So, if I am ever feeling depressed for whatever reason... I go to my home office shelf and grab the "new" photo album and my personal journal and go sit in my comfy chair... along with a nice fresh cup of coffee.... and sit and review pictures and related journal entrees.   Very good personal therapy....  do you have something similar for yourself???   If not, you might perhaps give it a try... "nothing ventured, nothing gained" ...  as they say.

Hugs, and as always my best wishes for you.
Danielle

[Jessica]

Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I went to my therapist this morning and spoke of deeper thoughts since last session.
I told her I was ready to move forward after 13+ months of hrt. 
I've told her I wanted to have a referral for facial hair removal and voice therapy. 
These are my present goals, more in the future.


Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I went to my therapist this morning and spoke of deeper thoughts since last session.
I told her I was ready to move forward after 13+ months of hrt. 
I've told her I wanted to have a referral for facial hair removal and voice therapy. 
These are my present goals, more in the future.


Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Your reported morning therapist meeting is terrific news... as you certainly already know, facial hair and voice are most some of the most important and immediately recognizable things that can be the catalyst for male-fail scenarios. 
Having those things taken care of will obviously promote your feminine presentation but you will also feel better about yourself as you go out and about as Jessica....   

...after all, Jess. you are a California girl which requires that you have all the self-confidence and self-assurance that you can possibly have...
Please keep your followers posted about your future plans and progress regarding all of this.

Hugs and best wishes as always,
Danielle   Northern Star*Girl   
                                               

[Jessica]

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Your reported morning therapist meeting is terrific news... as you certainly already know, facial hair and voice are most some of the most important and immediately recognizable things that can be the catalyst for male-fail scenarios. 
Having those things taken care of will obviously promote your feminine presentation but you will also feel better about yourself as you go out and about as Jessica....   

...after all, Jess. you are a California girl which requires that you have all the self-confidence and self-assurance that you can possibly have...
Please keep your followers posted about your future plans and progress regarding all of this.

Hugs and best wishes as always,
Danielle   Northern Star*Girl   
                                               

@Alaskan Danielle

Thank you for your support and comments, you have been one of my best friends here and I and others rely so much on your positive outlook.  I have had a few down moments recently and you have played a strong force in keeping my head up and confident.
You truly are a Northern Star*Girl

Facial hair and voice are a good place for me to make my next steps.
I'm feeling good about it.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Jess.

It is good to hear that you are taking the next steps to move forward in becoming your true self.  Hair removal and voice therapy are so important to making a good first impression on people.  You will be so much happier as a result.

[Jessica]

Hi, Jess.

It is good to hear that you are taking the next steps to move forward in becoming your true self.  Hair removal and voice therapy are so important to making a good first impression on people.  You will be so much happier as a result.

Hi, Jess.

It is good to hear that you are taking the next steps to move forward in becoming your true self.  Hair removal and voice therapy are so important to making a good first impression on people.  You will be so much happier as a result.

Thank you Kathy, I'm confidently nervous with it all.  Ow to the electrolysis and I think voice training is possible, but with underlying issues.
As far as my true "self".  I've been my true self always, having to hide some aspects yes, but the outward changes have been dramatic so far, which puts me inline with my true self. 
Hoping to have continued luck.


Hugs and smiles from a California girl


@KathyLauren

[Northern Star Girl]

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I have seen that you have a can-do attitude about challenges in your transition journey and that you have succeeded beyond your expectations in many of those areas....   now moving forward to your voice and electrolysis "treatments" is the next important step in living your life as you have been striving for.

"underlying issues" in your voice training???  ....   
I have heard with my own ears trans-women that have had very, very successful results with voice training... 
...of course there are surgery options for that as well but give the voice training your best effort first.

Stay positive and believe in yourself!!!
All of your followers here are your biggest fans...
Hugs,
Danielle

Thank you Kathy, I'm confidently nervous with it all.  Ow to the electrolysis and I think voice training is possible, but with underlying issues.
As far as my true "self".  I've been my true self always, having to hide some aspects yes, but the outward changes have been dramatic so far, which puts me inline with my true self.
Hoping to have continued luck.


Hugs and smiles from a California girl


@KathyLauren