Jess’s mess

[Northern Star Girl]

As a relative newcomer to Susans, I'd like to chime in. Please don't take offense at what I'm about to say. It just my personal way.

I've mostly stayed away from "personal threads" because the few that I've looked at are rather boring to me as I read the latest posts. I just happened to click on this one. There is just too much to read if I want to start at the beginning. 28 pages just for this one. I'm mainly on the forum for information that is pertinent to me and my situation. Granted that there maybe good information for me in some of these personal multi-page threads. But I have neither the time nor the inclination to read all of it to glean a few "good ones."

Sorry for this interruption. Please continue on.

HANG ON, MY REPLY IS LONG, but please read how some other members such as myself may feel about personal threads.
@GordonG    
Absolutely no problem with you stating your thoughts and please know that your comment is NOT an "interruption' but instead it is a rather a good point for discussion ...  then please, if you will, allow me to chime in with my own thoughts regarding personal threads.

Many longer personal threads that are authored by longer term members are of great interest to other members that have followed them back when the thread was started and the earlier comments were first posted.  Many of the followers of those longer threads have developed Forums friendships with the authors over time and enjoy the give and take of comments... and they are genuinely interested in the author's transition and life progress and in almost all cases both the author and the follower consider the personal threads to be educational, instructional, inspiring and encouraging.... and fun to follow and read.   
The big advantage of all of this is that when the author is going through difficult times, it is then an opportunity for the readers and followers to provide encouraging words, a virtual hug and a shoulder to lean on for the author....
.... as was exactly the case with the recent happenings here on this "Jess's Mess" thread authored by @Jessica.

For many newcomers, but certainly not all, I suppose that the longer threads could perhaps be considered "boring" as you stated, because there is a lot of history stated on those longer threads that the longer term followers can most appreciate....   
...I can see where a newbie might be not inclined to start at the beginning and that is certainly their choice.

In my case, my personal thread  " "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"" is of now 68 pages of 1368 posts/comments.  Yes it is long, but hopefully not boring as is evidenced by the fact that I still get comments and PMs from new followers that tell me that they took the time to go back to the very beginning of my thread, and are now all caught up with my transition journey, and are now making salient comments on my thread, and are enjoying following my life events.... 

I regularly seek out, follow and read the latest thread comments on my many friends/members longer threads every time I log into the Forums.  On my good friends personal threads such as "Jess's Mess" I make a point of seeking it out when I first login to the Forums.

Obviously not all new-comers with feel this way.   That is why it is important that as members here, new or old, that we consider having the mindset of developing friends on the Forums as we exchange give and take comments on other's threads.  A new-comer making a friend with another like-minded fairly new member will then have personal interest in following their new friend's transition and life journey and that goes both ways.

Certainly it is your decision as to how you want to be involved in the forums, and if you only wish as you stated...
  "I'm mainly on the forum for information that is pertinent to me and my situation." 
...then you will certainly find what you are looking for. 
The Susan's Place Forums is a treasure trove of salient and pertinent information of interest to all of the members here.

Again, thank you @GordonG for expressing your thoughts on all of this and I hope that my resultant thoughts helped you to understand how some of the longer term members feel about their own personal threads and the personal threads of their Forums friends.

Wishing you well, and please enjoy your time here on the Forums.
Danielle

[GordonG]

Danielle
I certainly do appreciate that these threads do provide some good for those involved. I'm not blind to that at all. Just like a good conversation is with a long time friend. I relish those as much as anyone. I just wanted to point out that to me and probably other "newbies" the reasons we don't participate in them. It would be like a complete stranger coming up to me and my long time friend and interrupting our good conversation mentioned above.

[Jessica]

Danielle
I certainly do appreciate that these threads do provide some good for those involved. I'm not blind to that at all. Just like a good conversation is with a long time friend. I relish those as much as anyone. I just wanted to point out that to me and probably other "newbies" the reasons we don't participate in them. It would be like a complete stranger coming up to me and my long time friend and interrupting our good conversation mentioned above.

Pleased to meet you GordonG, I'm Jessica. 
Anyone is free anytime to comment on any post in the past, present and the future in Jess's Mess.
This is how I met dear friends that I now cherish.  By commenting on their own trials of transitioning on their threads. 
Nobody I know thinks anyone ever interrupts their threads, yes sometimes they get derailed with silly stuff, but it always gets back on track. 
We all love to post when we can or when it's pertinent, or sometimes your just in a mood and can't.
It isn't the only way to get information, but it's the best way to see it in real life situations.


Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle

HANG ON, MY REPLY IS LONG, but please read how some other members such as myself may feel about personal threads.
@GordonG    
Absolutely no problem with you stating your thoughts and please know that your comment is NOT an "interruption' but instead it is a rather a good point for discussion ...  then please, if you will, allow me to chime in with my own thoughts regarding personal threads.

Many longer personal threads that are authored by longer term members are of great interest to other members that have followed them back when the thread was started and the earlier comments were first posted.  Many of the followers of those longer threads have developed Forums friendships with the authors over time and enjoy the give and take of comments... and they are genuinely interested in the author's transition and life progress and in almost all cases both the author and the follower consider the personal threads to be educational, instructional, inspiring and encouraging.... and fun to follow and read.   
The big advantage of all of this is that when the author is going through difficult times, it is then an opportunity for the readers and followers to provide encouraging words, a virtual hug and a shoulder to lean on for the author....
.... as was exactly the case with the recent happenings here on this "Jess's Mess" thread authored by @Jessica.

For many newcomers, but certainly not all, I suppose that the longer threads could perhaps be considered "boring" as you stated, because there is a lot of history stated on those longer threads that the longer term followers can most appreciate....   
...I can see where a newbie might be not inclined to start at the beginning and that is certainly their choice.

In my case, my personal thread  " "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"" is of now 68 pages of 1368 posts/comments.  Yes it is long, but hopefully not boring as is evidenced by the fact that I still get comments and PMs from new followers that tell me that they took the time to go back to the very beginning of my thread, and are now all caught up with my transition journey, and are now making salient comments on my thread, and are enjoying following my life events.... 

I regularly seek out, follow and read the latest thread comments on my many friends/members longer threads every time I log into the Forums.  On my good friends personal threads such as "Jess's Mess" I make a point of seeking it out when I first login to the Forums.

Obviously not all new-comers with feel this way.   That is why it is important that as members here, new or old, that we consider having the mindset of developing friends on the Forums as we exchange give and take comments on other's threads.  A new-comer making a friend with another like-minded fairly new member will then have personal interest in following their new friend's transition and life journey and that goes both ways.

Certainly it is your decision as to how you want to be involved in the forums, and if you only wish as you stated...
  "I'm mainly on the forum for information that is pertinent to me and my situation." 
...then you will certainly find what you are looking for. 
The Susan's Place Forums is a treasure trove of salient and pertinent information of interest to all of the members here.

Again, thank you @GordonG for expressing your thoughts on all of this and I hope that my resultant thoughts helped you to understand how some of the longer term members feel about their own personal threads and the personal threads of their Forums friends.

Wishing you well, and please enjoy your time here on the Forums.
Danielle

Thank you Danielle!  That was said so well.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[LizK]

Danielle
I certainly do appreciate that these threads do provide some good for those involved. I'm not blind to that at all. Just like a good conversation is with a long time friend. I relish those as much as anyone. I just wanted to point out that to me and probably other "newbies" the reasons we don't participate in them. It would be like a complete stranger coming up to me and my long time friend and interrupting our good conversation mentioned above.

Hi GordonG

You make such a valid point and it is borne out by all the personal threads...of the 100's of people who come through here how many join in like you have on a particular personal thread....not many I would guess...another thing I considered when I was thinking about shutting mine down was that there was so much great information and advice I received since I started my thread that will be on the whole, lost to any new comers...Do personal threads have a place...I think so but that is not for me to say as its not my board. I think as a community this could bare more discussion....How much great advice and practical solutions lie buried in a personal threads? There were plenty in mine...

Take care

Liz

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi GordonG

You make such a valid point and it is borne out by all the personal threads...of the 100's of people who come through here how many join in like you have on a particular personal thread....not many I would guess...another thing I considered when I was thinking about shutting mine down was that there was so much great information and advice I received since I started my thread that will be on the whole, lost to any new comers...Do personal threads have a place...I think so but that is not for me to say as its not my board. I think as a community this could bare more discussion....How much great advice and practical solutions lie buried in a personal threads? There were plenty in mine...

Take care

Liz

@LizK     cc:  @GordonG    @Jessica
Dear Liz:
I would like to add another of my thoughts regarding personal threads... 
...a personal thread can be more helpful to the author as it is to the reader.

Frankly, writing out our successes, failures, good times and not so good times is good personal therapy which can allow us to mentally work out our personal issues and try to come up with positive solutions and actions.

Even if no one ever reads my personal thread, I would keep it going just for my personal therapy benefit.

Well wishes to all,
Danielle

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle

@LizK     cc:  @GordonG    @Jessica
Dear Liz:
I would like to add another of my thoughts regarding personal threads... 
...a personal thread can be more helpful to the author as it is to the reader.

Frankly, writing out our successes, failures, good times and not so good times is good personal therapy which can allow us to mentally work out our personal issues and try to come up with positive solutions and actions.

Even if no one ever reads my personal thread, I would keep it going just for my personal therapy benefit.

Well wishes to all,
Danielle

Evidenced in my last few days worth of Jess's Mess.

[steph2.0]

@LizK     cc:  @GordonG    @Jessica
Dear Liz:
I would like to add another of my thoughts regarding personal threads... 
...a personal thread can be more helpful to the author as it is to the reader.

Frankly, writing out our successes, failures, good times and not so good times is good personal therapy which can allow us to mentally work out our personal issues and try to come up with positive solutions and actions.

Even if no one ever reads my personal thread, I would keep it going just for my personal therapy benefit.

Exactly the way I now see it, Danielle. I started mine when @Laurie  badgered me into it, but before I even joined Susan's I pick out some threads and binge-read them. Watching @Laurie , @Michelle_P  , @Rachel , and @Kendra  , to name a few, go through all the changes, good and bad, gave me some idea what I was in for, and how things would go. Far from boring, they were both interesting and educational. Many of the people I followed have gone from the subject of my hero-worship to dear friends.

As for my own thread, I would be thrilled if someone got some benefit from reading it. But even if no one did, it would be valuable to me as a way to document my highs and lows. During a recent low I was able to pull myself out of the hole by going back and reading about some of my recent victories.

If someone isn't interested in reading my thread, that's okay. Everyone has their own way of approaching transition. I have gotten recent feedback, though, that some have found it useful. That, and its value to me, will keep me writing.

Stephanie

[davina61]

Yes my diary thread helps me get stuff out of my brain, it would get so cluttered otherwise!!! Its there for anyone to chime in on the highs and lows of everyday life. I lurk a lot to catch up on everyone's happenings , mostly I have nothing to add as someone has beaten me to it. Its good therapy though and mostly more entertaining than the TV!!!!!!

[Jessica]

This conversation about personal threads is a good thing, but as to my desire, this has now earned a place of its own as it's own thread and is just a bookmark of an event in Jess's Mess.
If there is more to be said, let's open up the discussion to the general membership in a new thread.
Thank you everyone for your comments, they have helped me tremendously.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Jessica]

So on to my next adventure....electrolysis!
My first appointment went far better than I expected.
The worry of the pain that was less than what was inflated in my mind, was wasted energy.
Yes it hurt, but I expected to be in tears.
The smooth patch of skin will still need rework, and in time I'll never need to shave like I do now again!

One hour sessions and many are on the books through October.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Northern Star Girl]

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am so very happy that your hair removal session went better that you first thought.   It's the anticipation of pain that may be coming that is the worst of it, then with your hydration and the Lidocaine you then had a much better experience than you had worried about.  Your future sessions will be a breeze for you.   

Now, if you continue on to hair removal in your genital area, all bets are off...  more Lidocaine please!!

As more and more patches of your face become clearer and clearer your motive to continue on will increase....
You likely will be most please with the results.

Thanks for keeping your followers updated.
Hugs, and will wishes...
Danielle

[LizK]

So on to my next adventure....electrolysis!
My first appointment went far better than I expected.
The worry of the pain that was less than what was inflated in my mind, was wasted energy.
Yes it hurt, but I expected to be in tears.
The smooth patch of skin will still need rework, and in time I'll never need to shave like I do now again!

One hour sessions and many are on the books through October.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Glad to hear the first one went so well. I know the trepidation you feel at that first session...great outcome...in fact its one of the biggest hurdles for many...sounds like you may be one of the ones who can tolerate this treatment really well. That's great for you and I bet a weight off your mind...


Take care

Liz

[Charlie Nicki]

So on to my next adventure....electrolysis!
My first appointment went far better than I expected.
The worry of the pain that was less than what was inflated in my mind, was wasted energy.
Yes it hurt, but I expected to be in tears.
The smooth patch of skin will still need rework, and in time I'll never need to shave like I do now again!

One hour sessions and many are on the books through October.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Congrats for conquering another step on the road!

[Allison S]

Hey Jess, I've quietly followed (most) of your thread for some time.. I still experience misgendering and even purposefully directed misgendering. I don't know when,that gets easier.. I need electrolysis, but I'm a bit timid to start after my experience with laser combusted (to put it lightly...)
Well, I also just wanted to say that you remind me of genuinely nice people I-ve come across. Could be since you're from California, but I always have an intuition about these things...[emoji4]

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

[Michelle_P]

Well, I also just wanted to say that you remind me of genuinely nice people I-ve come across. Could be since you're from California, but I always have an intuition about these things...[emoji4]

Jess is a genuinely nice person.  She didn't deserve that misgendering, from a young barista who was obviously in a bad mood.  He couldn't be bothered to even get our order right!

Some people are just jerks, who cannot stand to see someone else happier than they are, like Jessica.

I'm very happy to see that after all that windup and pretreatment stressing, the electrolysis treatment Jessica had was easier than she expected, and she now has regular treatments booked.  I hope they'll become regular 'spa days' where one looks forward to being cared for by another, even with the momentary discomfort.

[KathyLauren]

Jessica, congratulations on getting your electrolysis started.  A journey of 100 hours begins with the first zap.  Or something like that.  It is a big step in correcting our self-image.

Yes, it hurts, but it feels so good when you can feel your face and it is smooth.  In the morning, I am a 220-grit sandpaper instead of the old 60-grit.

[Jessica]

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am so very happy that your hair removal session went better that you first thought.   It's the anticipation of pain that may be coming that is the worst of it, then with your hydration and the Lidocaine you then had a much better experience than you had worried about.  Your future sessions will be a breeze for you.   

Now, if you continue on to hair removal in your genital area, all bets are off...  more Lidocaine please!!

As more and more patches of your face become clearer and clearer your motive to continue on will increase....
You likely will be most please with the results.

Thanks for keeping your followers updated.
Hugs, and will wishes...
Danielle

@Alaskan Danielle

Thank you for the encouragement.  The nether regions are not off limits!  I am not going to hold myself to any limitations in my transition. 

Glad to hear the first one went so well. I know the trepidation you feel at that first session...great outcome...in fact its one of the biggest hurdles for many...sounds like you may be one of the ones who can tolerate this treatment really well. That's great for you and I bet a weight off your mind...


Take care

Liz

@LizK


I appreciate your insight on hurdles, it truly is one, one that I easily cleared. 
It's as if I have set my mind to an acceptance mode that I can do what I need, without thinking I can't.

Congrats for conquering another step on the road!

@Charlie Nicki

Thank you dear friend, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.  You saved me very early on!
And certainly you have taken more steps than me, which has given me courage.

Hey Jess, I've quietly followed (most) of your thread for some time.. I still experience misgendering and even purposefully directed misgendering. I don't know when,that gets easier.. I need electrolysis, but I'm a bit timid to start after my experience with laser combusted (to put it lightly...)
Well, I also just wanted to say that you remind me of genuinely nice people I-ve come across. Could be since you're from California, but I always have an intuition about these things...[emoji4]

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

@Allison S

I hope Jess's Mess has been beneficial to you, it has been a big help to me, considering all the advice I've gotten from it.

OMG, your face caught on fire 🔥....yikes!
Electrolysis I thought was going to be multiple bee stings in a row for an hour....the bees only stung about 15 minutes in total (mainly on the upper lip).
Well worth doing!

I hope I'm a good person, I like to think I am at least.  It is nice to have someone affirm that to you, thank you!

Jess is a genuinely nice person.  She didn't deserve that misgendering, from a young barista who was obviously in a bad mood.  He couldn't be bothered to even get our order right!

Some people are just jerks, who cannot stand to see someone else happier than they are, like Jessica.

I'm very happy to see that after all that windup and pretreatment stressing, the electrolysis treatment Jessica had was easier than she expected, and she now has regular treatments booked.  I hope they'll become regular 'spa days' where one looks forward to being cared for by another, even with the momentary discomfort.

@Michelle_P

Thank you Michelle for the vouching!  @Laurie did the same for me to @Bari Jo early this week.
It's nice that we are friends and are there for each other.

It did seem the barrister was especially angry, and who knows why, so I do have to step back and realize maybe his rudeness may never have transpired if he had not been so.  Was it us that made him angry, I can't say for sure.  But everyone has their life problems that do get in the way.
We might not have been the thing that set him in this frame of mind, I just may have been a unlucky recipient of his mood.

I will never replace spa day with electrocution day....
Spa day is pampering you with soft stuff.
I saw no fluffy bunnies yesterday.

Jessica, congratulations on getting your electrolysis started.  A journey of 100 hours begins with the first zap.  Or something like that.  It is a big step in correcting our self-image.

Yes, it hurts, but it feels so good when you can feel your face and it is smooth.  In the morning, I am a 220-grit sandpaper instead of the old 60-grit.

@KathyLauren

I love the quarter size patch of smooth.  It will grow before I know it.


Thank you all for the wonderful support!
I love you all 🌸🌸🌸

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Jessica]

Climbed one of the peaks around the SF Bay today with some gals pals of mine!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Laurie]

  Get down off of there silly girl before those pegs break.