Jess’s mess

[Laurie]

I'm reading Sis, I'm reading.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Jessica]

@Laurie 

I'm reading Sis, I'm reading.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Hmmmm

[Laurie]

I did I did

[Jessica]

@Laurie

I did I did

Hmmmm

[Laurie]

Really Sis I read your recent post and looked at the purty pictures. I did, I did.

I did, too! so there :-P

[Jessica]

@Laurie

Really Sis I read your recent post and looked at the purty pictures. I did, I did.

I did, too! so there :-P

You've seen those purty pictures before sis.
And you've also counseled me by Messenger.
What else is there needed to say?

But you didn't ask about my awesome ⚡️session!

[Jessica]

So I had the surgeon look a my vocal cords one last time .....
It's been determined I will need to have surgery on the 26th of this month....
Oh joy......not.
Any tips for silence time?


Hugs from a California girl

[Northern Star Girl]

So I had the surgeon look a my vocal cords one last time .....
It's been determined I will need to have surgery on the 26th of this month....
Oh joy......not.
Any tips for silence time?


Hugs from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
WOW, that is fast!!!  Might as well get it done as soon as possible.

Get a small white board and if in a hurry you can use hand signals if you have to.....   depending on how you and your wife and friends communicate and how much you usually talk and converse, it is possible that all of them may enjoy some silence!!!!   

Be certain to follow your surgeon's instructions to the "T"  .... you do not want to mess up the healing.

Keep us all up to date...  please....

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Laurie]

Believing all will go well and be well when all is done.

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle @Laurie

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
WOW, that is fast!!!  Might as well get it done as soon as possible.

Get a small white board and if in a hurry you can use hand signals if you have to.....   depending on how you and your wife and friends communicate and how much you usually talk and converse, it is possible that all of them may enjoy some silence!!!!   

Be certain to follow your surgeon's instructions to the "T"  .... you do not want to mess up the healing.

Keep us all up to date...  please....

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Firstly Danielle, thank you, but this is not a surgery for my voice.  In an earlier Jess's Mess post I mentioned that when I had a consult for voice therapy an abnormality was discovered on my right vocal cord.  The surgeon feels it's 'Hyperkeratosis', but she needs to find out for sure to rule out cancer.
And yes I'm scared.

Believing all will go well and be well when all is done.

Thank you Laurie, you know my fears.  Sometimes you push them to their limits, but you do know how to quell them.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Alaskan Danielle @Laurie

Firstly Danielle, thank you, but this is not a surgery for my voice.  In an earlier Jess's Mess post I mentioned that when I had a consult for voice therapy an abnormality was discovered on my right vocal cord.  The surgeon feels it's 'Hyperkeratosis', but she needs to find out for sure to rule out cancer.
And yes I'm scared.

Thank you Laurie, you know my fears.  Sometimes you push them to their limits, but you do know how to quell them.

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am so sorry that I misunderstood what was going on there... 
Try to stay positive and be strong and know that all of your friends are praying for you and wishing and hoping for a good report....   

A big and tight hug for you..!!!  [emoji173]

Wishing you well as always.
Danielle

[Dena]

I carried a pen and a bound notebook I obtained from my local drug store. I selected a mid sized one because the big one was difficult to carry and the small ones didn't have enough room. The other thing that helps is to work on safe throat clearing and staying silent for about a week before surgery. Find out what foods cause you to need to clear your  throat and don't eat those foods. Unfortunately one of them is chocolate. Moist foods like soup are the best but you should be able to eat many other foods as long as they aren't overly dry.

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle @Dena

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am so sorry that I misunderstood what was going on there... 
Try to stay positive and be strong and know that all of your friends are praying for you and wishing and hoping for a good report....   

A big and tight hug for you..!!!  [emoji173]

Wishing you well as always.
Danielle

Thank you again Danielle, I could see how that mistake could be made on a site that many have had voice surgery.  I have a personal fear of situations like what I'm going through, so I'm working on it.  My wife today at the exam mentioned the devastating fires here in California (it is very smoky here) and it struck me that my discomfort is nothing like what the folks caught in all that are going through.  It humbled me.

I carried a pen and a bound notebook I obtained from my local drug store. I selected a mid sized one because the big one was difficult to carry and the small ones didn't have enough room. The other thing that helps is to work on safe throat clearing and staying silent for about a week before surgery. Find out what foods cause you to need to clear your  throat and don't eat those foods. Unfortunately one of them is chocolate. Moist foods like soup are the best but you should be able to eat many other foods as long as they aren't overly dry.

Dena , I appreciate very much your advice.  All of it.  Tried and true experience counts.  Just having early knowledge of how to prepare is vital, and I'm only a couple weeks out.  I will have a particular problem with keeping my throat clear.  Post nasal drip is not my friend.  Avoiding foods that aggravate that is crucial....but I love chocolate 🤦‍♀️  But I love soup too!  One unexpected bit was about being silent prior to surgery.
Thank you again!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Jessica]

Why oh why can't I learn???
Throughout my life the one common denominator in my failures has been my persistence pursuing my convictions.  Of course most of the time that denominator has been associated with many successes. But in personal relationships I must learn to be better..... When will I learn to just shut up?
Even saying this is pushing it.

[Northern Star Girl]

Why oh why can't I learn???
Throughout my life the one common denominator in my failures has been my persistence pursuing my convictions.  Of course most of the time that denominator has been associated with many successes. But in personal relationships I must learn to be better..... When will I learn to just shut up?
Even saying this is pushing it.

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
What you stated about yourself is not unique to just you... all of us, and certainly myself have to deal with pushing forward with our convictions and sharing our thoughts.   
Sometimes that is not very productive but in my opinion I think it is better to let my thoughts and feelings out instead of holding them in and possible regretting it later.

But, this is not such a simple matter, there are times that I do need to bite my tongue and then allow certain situations play out to the point that speaking my mind might be more appropriate and better received.

NOW... can I just follow my own advice    Not easy sometimes.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, you are not alone with what you stated about yourself.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
What you stated about yourself is not unique to just you... all of us, and certainly myself have to deal with pushing forward with our convictions and sharing our thoughts.   
Sometimes that is not very productive but in my opinion I think it is better to let my thoughts and feelings out instead of holding them in and possible regretting it later.

But, this is not such a simple matter, there are times that I do need to bite my tongue and then allow certain situations play out to the point that speaking my mind might be more appropriate and better received.

NOW... can I just follow my own advice    Not easy sometimes.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, you are not alone with what you stated about yourself.
Hugs,
Danielle

Danielle, of course your correct, but I feel I may have lost another dear friend.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Alaskan Danielle

Danielle, of course your correct, but I feel I may have lost another dear friend.

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
A good friend, a dear friend, will stick with you through all of your trials and tribulations and forgive you for various indiscretions as long as your ask for sincere forgiveness then the burden is on them to forgive you and remain friends....

....throughout our lives, we have far fewer really good and best friends than we think that we do.  Friends can come and go, but our best friends and dear friends will always be there... with very few exceptions.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
A good friend, a dear friend, will stick with you through all of your trials and tribulations and forgive you for various indiscretions as long as your ask for sincere forgiveness then the burden is on them to forgive you and remain friends....

....throughout our lives, we have far fewer really good and best friends than we think that we do.  Friends can come and go, but our best friends and dear friends will always be there... with very few exceptions.
Hugs,
Danielle

That's a nice perspective, I guess I'll have to just wait. If they do care I will know soon enough.
I have apologized, I was afraid for this friend and needed to truly find out if they were ok.  I still don't know what is going on.  This happened with my running gal pal also and I have not heard from her since.   I considered her my best friend, save for my wife, I guess I haven't a clue. 
I certainly have not gotten over it and this compounds my sadness.
I care for those I call friends deeply, as you know Danielle, and can't stand idly by when help seems needed.

This is my mess, no one else's, Jess

This is the 777th Jess's Mess comment, it doesn't seem very lucky to me.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Alaskan Danielle

@Alaskan Danielle

That's a nice perspective, I guess I'll have to just wait. If they do care I will know soon enough.
I have apologized, I was afraid for this friend and needed to truly find out if they were ok.  I still don't know what is going on.  This happened with my running gal pal also and I have not heard from her since.   I considered her my best friend, save for my wife, I guess I haven't a clue. 
I certainly have not gotten over it and this compounds my sadness.
I care for those I call friends deeply, as you know Danielle, and can't stand idly by when help seems needed.

This is my mess, no one else's, Jess

This is the 777th Jess's Mess comment, it doesn't seem very lucky to me.

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I would not wait around for them to get back to you....  I would continue to reach out to them and affirming to them that you care and also continuing to ask for forgiveness.   Be persistent with this, good friends are like finding diamonds in the sand at the beach, you just don't lose them without being determined to find them again.

That is a very good personal trait and a caring attitude for a friend. I would rather boldly make a move to support and be concerned for a friend in apparent need than to think that I shouldn't be involved in possibly offending them and not intervening.   
Just imagine not getting involved in trying to check up on a friend and offering help only to find out that something terrible has happened to them....  I like to err on the side of empathy and caring.

Keep doing what your compassionate heart tells you to do.   That is the Jess that I have come to know here on the Forums...
Hugs and hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle

@Alaskan Danielle

That's a nice perspective, I guess I'll have to just wait. If they do care I will know soon enough.
I have apologized, I was afraid for this friend and needed to truly find out if they were ok.  I still don't know what is going on.  This happened with my running gal pal also and I have not heard from her since.   I considered her my best friend, save for my wife, I guess I haven't a clue. 
I certainly have not gotten over it and this compounds my sadness.
I care for those I call friends deeply, as you know Danielle, and can't stand idly by when help seems needed.

This is my mess, no one else's, Jess

This is the 777th Jess's Mess comment, it doesn't seem very lucky to me.

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I would not wait around for them to get back to you....  I would continue to reach out to them and affirming to them that you care and also continuing to ask for forgiveness.   Be persistent with this, good friends are like finding diamonds in the sand at the beach, you just don't lose them without being determined to find them again.

That is a very good personal trait and a caring attitude for a friend. I would rather boldly make a move to support and be concerned for a friend in apparent need than to think that I shouldn't be involved in possibly offending them and not intervening.   
Just imagine not getting involved in trying to check up on a friend and offering help only to find out that something terrible has happened to them....  I like to err on the side of empathy and caring.

Keep doing what your compassionate heart tells you to do.   That is the Jess that I have come to know here on the Forums...
Hugs and hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Being persistent is what caused this issue to be where it's at.  I said earlier, "When will I ever learn to shut up"
I will not contact someone that has made it clear to back off or say they are done with me.
The concerns of my friend today, I have had before, and was apparently wrong then, but I don't know about now.  Extreme comments were made, privately and publicly.
All this hurts both of us, and I don't know if I can be what is asked of me.