Jess’s mess

[Jessica]

It's becoming clearer to me that my sources of support are crumbling. Sad

[Northern Star Girl]

It's becoming clearer to me that my sources of support are crumbling. Sad

@Jessica
My dear Jess:
What?  Not all of them for sure!   
I am here and I fully support you and I always have. 
You have always been one of my closest Forums friends since you and I met and exchanged comments here on the Forums back at the beginning of this year.   

We have always been on each other's "Buddy List"   ... we exchange comments and share our thoughts on each of our many threads and various other threads around the forums, we regularly exchange PMs and also exchange private email messages.   
We have always supported each other... you have supported me many times in my dark moments, and I trust that you also feel that way about how I have responded to your dark times.

Each of our personal lives are a continuing story that is always evolving and providing surprises, both good and bad, in our relationships and in our health and well-being.  Over time it is something we have to learn to deal with and think of how to develop positive outcomes if possible....

There are definitely things that we all go thought that are well beyond our control... way beyond our pay grade, things that only a higher power can determine... it does no good to worry about things that we have no control over... I know, I know... easier said than done for sure.

I know that you have many friends and supporters here on the forums and certainly in your real life off of cyber space.  Please don't let the "few" diminish what the "many" are doing with  you and for you.

Write to me anytime about anything, I am "there" for you....
You definitely know how to get my ear, and my shoulder.

Please do not be sad... I will always be your supporting friend.
Hugs and hugs and hang in there...
Danielle

[Jessica]

I have reached out to many, with no response.  My reputation in life has been sullied and I feel it won't change just because some feel I can't be trusted any longer.  Thank you Danielle.  It's nice to know at least you believe in me.

[KathyLauren]

Jess, I am sorry that I haven't been able to be as vocal with my support as I should have.  It has been a busy week, and I haven't had as much time on the computer as I'd like, and when I am on, I'm just scrambling to catch up.  But rest assured that you do have my support!

[LizK]

Hi Jess

oh heck girl....have a big aussie hug [emoji847].. I don't know what has happened to cause this but I for one have no reason not to show you anything but respect and friendship which is exactly what you showed me.

take care

Liz


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Kendra]

Jess, we love you and ya better know that... we really do care.  I am sorry things are getting you down lately but there are also so many things going well for you.  I'm here if you need to talk.

Kendra

[Jessica]

Thank you, Danielle, Kathy, Liz and Kendra.  If it seems I have trust issues, you would be correct.
I have left myself exposed to stress because of wanting to make the world we live in a better place.  I've lived a life devoted to diplomacy in my career and my personal feelings of how I live.
It has always been in conflict with those more in tune to undermining it. 
I do feel you all are sincere in your support and I give my apology for being a bit generalized in my estimations.
It's hard to tell sometimes what someones personal objectives are, as all live their lives differently. My inner sense of that had been shaken by close personal contacts in my life now and those I've had for a long time.  It has failed me.  I feel alone in my endeavors to accomplish what I try to do.
Maybe tomorrow will change my thoughts, maybe it will clarify realities.  All I know is I cannot imagine that I can give up, even though my gut wrenches.

Hugs, Jess




cc: @Alaskan Danielle @KathyLauren @LizK @Kendra

[Rayna]

Jess,

I believe you are strong, based on what I've seen written by you and by others who featured you in their stories.

I can't offer any specific advice, but I can encourage you to have faith in yourself and in the things you are trying to do. I'm sure you are trying to do good, positive things in the world. Karma will win in the end.

My best to you. Randy

Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

[Jessica]

Hi friends, as an update, I am in a better frame of mind today.  I was though as nervous as a smoker in a California restaurant.  I had a follow up appointment to have my surgeon assess the healing of my vocal cord.  The reason for the apprehension is she slides a scope through my nostril to accomplish this.  It's been done several times in the past and it always had me in tears afterwards.  This time the numbing spray she applies was let to sit a bit longer.  Didn't feel any discomfort!  It is healing well, with only expected redness in the surrounding tissue caused by the heat of the laser that was used.  My surgeon was very happy that I have felt not a shred of pain since the surgery and that it look so good.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi friends, as an update, I am in a better frame of mind today.  I was though as nervous as a smoker in a California restaurant.  I had a follow up appointment to have my surgeon assess the healing of my vocal cord.  The reason for the apprehension is she slides a scope through my nostril to accomplish this.  It's been done several times in the past and it always had me in tears afterwards.  This time the numbing spray she applies was let to sit a bit longer.  Didn't feel any discomfort!  It is healing well, with only expected redness in the surrounding tissue caused by the heat of the laser that was used.  My surgeon was very happy that I have felt not a shred of pain since the surgery and that it look so good.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am so glad that you are in a better frame of mind today.... for sure, sometimes the pressures of life and the issues we have to deal with can be detrimental to our mood and how we relate to others.   

Thank you for your wonderfully positive report about your follow up check up.   The good news that your doctor discovered during the exam makes up for any discomfort and apprehension that you experienced.

When can you start talking again, albeit "softly" ...and then when will your voice be back to "normal"   What are you expecting that your new "normal" will be?   A clearer voice tone perhaps?

So, anyway Jess, I am so very happy and relieved for you, as I know that you are very happy and relieived now that this is apparently over.   Is there another followup exam being planned by your doctor?

Thank you for posting your good report, I am very relieved that this all went well for you today.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Michelle_P]

Hi friends, as an update, I am in a better frame of mind today.  I was though as nervous as a smoker in a California restaurant.  I had a follow up appointment to have my surgeon assess the healing of my vocal cord.  The reason for the apprehension is she slides a scope through my nostril to accomplish this.  It's been done several times in the past and it always had me in tears afterwards.  This time the numbing spray she applies was let to sit a bit longer.  Didn't feel any discomfort!  It is healing well, with only expected redness in the surrounding tissue caused by the heat of the laser that was used.  My surgeon was very happy that I have felt not a shred of pain since the surgery and that it look so good.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Jess, that's great news!  Between the biopsy results, your tolerating the 'scope better, and healing well, there is much positive news here. 

Congratulations!

Now, are you cleared to speak yet?  Free of restrictions? 

I know healing can take time.  This sounds really good, though.  I'm also glad to read that you are in a better state of mind.  Sometimes too much drama can use up our supply of spoons.  I know mine were gone!  Taking time can be important, so don't push yourself.  Healing in all things comes eventually.

[Jessica]

Danielle and Michelle...I love you both so much!  Thank you for your supportive comments.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

ps: Michelle, I wrote this update while enjoying a well deserved breakfast that was fit for Laurie at Emil Villas down the street from where you live.





cc: @Alaskan Danielle @Michelle_P @Laurie

[Michelle_P]

ps: Michelle, I wrote this update while enjoying a well deserved breakfast that was fit for Laurie at Emil Villas down the street from where you live.

Ah, the old Hickory Pit!  You might also like the Sunrise Bistro in a little shopping center a few blocks north.  Very good breakfasts.  I often get Chelsea's Omlette (veggies and egg white) with the oatmeal and fresh fruit sides.  @Laurie thinks I am crazy, of course.

[Jessica]

@Michelle_P @Laurie

Ah, the old Hickory Pit!  You might also like the Sunrise Bistro in a little shopping center a few blocks north.  Very good breakfasts.  I often get Chelsea's Omlette (veggies and egg white) with the oatmeal and fresh fruit sides.  @Laurie thinks I am crazy, of course.

We will have to go there some time!  I do know Laurie's dietary "wants" (not necessarily "needs") are not the same as yours.  Mine has no restrictions, as I can eat like a horse and not gain an ounce.  I do try to eat healthy all the same to adhere to my sweeties, so she doesn't try to eat what's on my plate!
Bear in mind my appointment was in Oakland, but my sweetheart works at the Walnut Creek facility, where I dropped her off.  She holds my hand when I'm stressed at the doctors.

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am so glad that you are in a better frame of mind today.... for sure, sometimes the pressures of life and the issues we have to deal with can be detrimental to our mood and how we relate to others.   

Thank you for your wonderfully positive report about your follow up check up.   The good news that your doctor discovered during the exam makes up for any discomfort and apprehension that you experienced.

When can you start talking again, albeit "softly" ...and then when will your voice be back to "normal"   What are you expecting that your new "normal" will be?   A clearer voice tone perhaps?

So, anyway Jess, I am so very happy and relieved for you, as I know that you are very happy and relieived now that this is apparently over.   Is there another followup exam being planned by your doctor?

Thank you for posting your good report, I am very relieved that this all went well for you today.
Hugs,
Danielle

Danielle, my next follow up is in March.  My surgeon is due in April with her second child, so it's before then.
I have been cleared to speak, but no more than five minutes in an hour for the next few weeks.  So no phone calls or video Skype chats that are lengthy.
Plenty of water and thrice daily 15 minute steams are what's prescribed.

You mentioned in another message to me that you have a severe gag reflex when anyone is messing inside your mouth....me too!  I have found a technique that helps me defeat it by dabbing a damp finger in salt and applying it to the back of my throat liberally including the back and sides of my tongue.  For me it works!  I related this to my dentist and now they employ that with other patients with great success.  They had never heard of it and thanked me for tipping them off.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[KathyLauren]

Hi friends, as an update, I am in a better frame of mind today.  I was though as nervous as a smoker in a California restaurant.  I had a follow up appointment to have my surgeon assess the healing of my vocal cord.  The reason for the apprehension is she slides a scope through my nostril to accomplish this.  It's been done several times in the past and it always had me in tears afterwards.  This time the numbing spray she applies was let to sit a bit longer.  Didn't feel any discomfort!  It is healing well, with only expected redness in the surrounding tissue caused by the heat of the laser that was used.  My surgeon was very happy that I have felt not a shred of pain since the surgery and that it look so good.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

I am glad to hear that you are recovering well.  It is nice to have one less thing to worry about.

[Myranda]

It's becoming clearer to me that my sources of support are crumbling. Sad

I am saddened to hear that you feel that way.

Just know that you re NOT alone!

[Jessica]

@Myranda

I am saddened to hear that you feel that way.

Just know that you re NOT alone!

Myranda, my support network has improved dramatically.  Always hold out for hope when you feel there is none!

Hug, Jess

[Jessica]

@KathyLauren

I am glad to hear that you are recovering well.  It is nice to have one less thing to worry about.

Thank you Kathy, I try to find the silver lining on all the clouds I float upon.
I'm rich right now in silver!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Jessica]

@RandyL

Jess,

I believe you are strong, based on what I've seen written by you and by others who featured you in their stories.

I can't offer any specific advice, but I can encourage you to have faith in yourself and in the things you are trying to do. I'm sure you are trying to do good, positive things in the world. Karma will win in the end.

My best to you. Randy

Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

As you have may have noticed Randy, things are looking up!  Thank you for your support!

Hugs and smiles, Jess