Jess’s mess

[Jessica]

Hey friends 🌸🌸🌸  My mother just turn 90!  That of course deserves a party 🎉
Now my mother is a very personable lady.  Goes to church, delivers for meals on wheels, helps friends to the doctor.  So, she is loved by many 💕💕💕

How many friends do you think will want to come?
I'm not sure......
50?
Maybe........
75?  100?
I guess that's possible..........

Understood, plan for 100.......but didn't expect but a fraction of that.....given that most of her friends are the same annual point in their lives.  Don't underestimate those that know life, cherish it and living every moment they can.  Wonderfully, I had opted to expect a large turn out.

Everyone showed up!!  And not for just a stop by and leave....everyone stayed for food, drink and cake.  Filled the entire hall, with no seat left untaken, singing Happy Birthday with gusto, not the traditional dirge.

She was driven to be a bit verklempt, and choked back tears.....

I felt wonderful that she got what she wanted......love from family and friends.

[Northern Star Girl]

Hey friends 🌸🌸🌸  My mother just turn 90!  That of course deserves a party 🎉
Now my mother is a very personable lady.  Goes to church, delivers for meals on wheels, helps friends to the doctor.  So, she is loved by many 💕💕💕

How many friends do you think will want to come?
I'm not sure......
50?
Maybe........
75?  100?
I guess that's possible..........

Understood, plan for 100.......but didn't expect but a fraction of that.....given that most of her friends are the same annual point in their lives.  Don't underestimate those that know life, cherish it and living every moment they can.  Wonderfully, I had opted to expect a large turn out.

Everyone showed up!!  And not for just a stop by and leave....everyone stayed for food, drink and cake.  Filled the entire hall, with no seat left untaken, singing Happy Birthday with gusto, not the traditional dirge.

She was driven to be a bit verklempt, and choked back tears.....

I felt wonderful that she got what she wanted......love from family and friends.

@Jessica
My Dear Jess:
Wow-Whee.... this is a terrific posting for all of us to read for sure. 
You are to be greatly commended for honoring your mother is such an affirming and celebratory way.  I am certain that you will receive kudos from all of your mother's friends that attended her Happy Birthday celebration that you so generously put on.

     Whether one believes the Christian Bible or not, Exodus 20:12 says in the 5th of the Ten Commandments:
"Honor your father and your mother, that it may be well with you, that your days may be long..."

.... or as mantra of Spock in Star Trek says:   "Live Long and Prosper" 

Thank you for sharing some of the details of your wonderful benevolence, honor and respect that you are showing your mother.
You are a terrific and affirming example for all of us.  THANK YOU !

Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle

[Michelle_P]

Wow, Jessica!  Huge turnout for your mom.  She is obviously loved by many!

And, very good of you to have planned to handle this turnout!

I'm glad this all went well for you and mom.

[Charlie Nicki]

Hey friends 🌸🌸🌸  My mother just turn 90!  That of course deserves a party 🎉
Now my mother is a very personable lady.  Goes to church, delivers for meals on wheels, helps friends to the doctor.  So, she is loved by many 💕💕💕

How many friends do you think will want to come?
I'm not sure......
50?
Maybe........
75?  100?
I guess that's possible..........

Understood, plan for 100.......but didn't expect but a fraction of that.....given that most of her friends are the same annual point in their lives.  Don't underestimate those that know life, cherish it and living every moment they can.  Wonderfully, I had opted to expect a large turn out.

Everyone showed up!!  And not for just a stop by and leave....everyone stayed for food, drink and cake.  Filled the entire hall, with no seat left untaken, singing Happy Birthday with gusto, not the traditional dirge.

She was driven to be a bit verklempt, and choked back tears.....

I felt wonderful that she got what she wanted......love from family and friends.

Aww that is so nice!!!

[Jessica]

Hi friends, earlier today I smiled. 
Standing in line at Costco I was beckoned to the next checkout with a "I can help you here ma'am".
I wasn't trying, but my hair is longer, it was styled in a feminine fashion.
My slimming black jeans were snug, as was my male cut t-shirt. Which definitely accentuated my new curves.  Butt, thighs and boobs!  Oh my!
My soften face gives a better illusion of a woman now

Maybe I am trying after all!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi friends, earlier today I smiled. 
Standing in line at Costco I was beckoned to the next checkout with a "I can help you here ma'am".
I wasn't trying, but my hair is longer, it was styled in a feminine fashion.
My slimming black jeans were snug, as was my male cut t-shirt. Which definitely accentuated my new curves.  Butt, thighs and boobs!  Oh my!
My soften face gives a better illusion of a woman now

Maybe I am trying after all!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Wow-zers!!!!  This was such a confidence building and very affirming experience for you. 
Of course, what did you expect as you were showing off your attributes??? Let me recap::
    -Longer hair in a feminine style
     -Snug black skinny jeans
     -Tight form hugging t-shirt
     -Highly visible curves... butt, thighs and boobs
     -Softened face
     -etc, etc
Hmmm, you better be careful girl, you may "unintentionally" attract suitors and romantic interests, just keep your wedding band prominently displayed on your ring finger.... that usually takes care of those that want to hit on you.
I am certainly aware that flattery and being an object of attention is so very addicting.

I was so happy to read your terrific report....
Hugs and continued well wishes,
Danielle

[Faith]

Hi friends, earlier today I smiled. 
Standing in line at Costco I was beckoned to the next checkout with a "I can help you here ma'am".
I wasn't trying, but my hair is longer, it was styled in a feminine fashion.
My slimming black jeans were snug, as was my male cut t-shirt. Which definitely accentuated my new curves.  Butt, thighs and boobs!  Oh my!
My soften face gives a better illusion of a woman now

Maybe I am trying after all!

Girl, you don't have to try and what's with this illusion of a woman 


oh .. and YAY! 

[Jessica]

@Faith

Girl, you don't have to try and what's with this illusion of a woman 


oh .. and YAY! 

Thank you Faith, that was a bit of a self defeating statement that I made.
It can't be an illusion if it's the real thing!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Linde]

@Faith

Thank you Faith, that was a bit of a self defeating statement that I made.
It can't be an illusion if it's the real thing!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

I am with Faith here!  An illusion is a dream, something lie a mirage, but a person like you, who is a real woman, does not need any illusions!  You are a reality, a real good looking woman!

[Jessica]

Hi friends, I've had a bit of a spat with my endo.  Last summer after nearly a year on low dosage Estradiol he made me feel that he change my dosage to be stronger.  My E levels had dropped and my T levels rose, so it stood to reason that my dosage would be increased.  Little did I realize it was in effect the same.  Different rotation of patches.  It ended up supplying the same dosage and wasting half of my medication.  After talking to some close girlfriends here, I was told that I should question it.  Luckily he was on vacation (late August) when I did and was referred to his stand in.  She was confused on why it was worded (the prescription) in such a fashion that seemed to do exactly as I suspected, same but wasteful.  She changed my prescription to twice the amount.  Immediately I started feeling better.  I expected my endo to order tests after a period of time, but I was not informed of any.  I recently questioned that and my endo replied that yes I should have had one awhile ago.  I replied tersely that I felt he deceived me and caused me to spend twice the amount on medication.  I also let him know that I would be seeking a different endocrinologist because I didn't trust him any longer.
I must preface that this is my second endo since starting hrt as my first one retired.  My current endo has never met me or reached out in any way.

Went for the blood test this morning.....hoping for better results.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Northern Star Girl]

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am feeling your pain and frustrations.   It is always up to each of us to be our own advocates in most things and especially with our transition journey and discussions with our doctors.

I am so sorry you are going through this.... but at least (I think?) that your Endo is somewhat local.
My first Endo where I previously lived was fairly near by, but my present Endo here where I live now is a 7 hour drive away but the good news is and very fortunately my blood tests results have been very stable and when required I can get my blood drawn more locally and sent to my Endo's big city lab.

I am thinking ... and now you may be also... you might consider changing your Endo to your current Endo's stand-in ... it sounds like she is being more responsive to your blood level test results and your expressed concerns.

Hang in there Jess....   transition is definitely tough enough without having to convince your doctor about your feelings and for them to consider altering prescribed dosages. 
It sounds to me that your new Endo should be the female stand-in !!!!!

Thank you for sharing... I am rooting for you as always,
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

[Faith]

Jess, so you know I'm keeping tabs. Drs! for some it's only about collecting the appointment fee. I'm glad you finally put your foot down (I think you should have placed it elsewhere .. but, lawsuits ). I hope your results show improvement. If not much this time, they will for the next.


hugs
Faith

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle @Faith

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am feeling your pain and frustrations.   It is always up to each of us to be our own advocates in most things and especially with our transition journey and discussions with our doctors.

I am so sorry you are going through this.... but at least (I think?) that your Endo is somewhat local.
My first Endo where I previously lived was fairly near by, but my present Endo here where I live now is a 7 hour drive away but the good news is and very fortunately my blood tests results have been very stable and when required I can get my blood drawn more locally and sent to my Endo's big city lab.

I am thinking ... and now you may be also... you might consider changing your Endo to your current Endo's stand-in ... it sounds like she is being more responsive to your blood level test results and your expressed concerns.

Hang in there Jess....   transition is definitely tough enough without having to convince your doctor about your feelings and for them to consider altering prescribed dosages. 
It sounds to me that your new Endo should be the female stand-in !!!!!

Thank you for sharing... I am rooting for you as always,
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

My thoughts are in line with your own Danielle.  I will be changing to the endo that helped me get what I needed.  I have also requested progesterone, which is unlikely, but possible.

Jess, so you know I'm keeping tabs. Drs! for some it's only about collecting the appointment fee. I'm glad you finally put your foot down (I think you should have placed it elsewhere .. but, lawsuits ). I hope your results show improvement. If not much this time, they will for the next.


hugs
Faith

Faith, I'm expecting them to be better already.  It's been since August that my dosage was increased.




Thank you both dear friends!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[steph2.0]

I also let him know that I would be seeking a different endocrinologist because I didn't trust him any longer.
I must preface that this is my second endo since starting hrt as my first one retired.  My current endo has never met me or reached out in any way.

I feel for you, Jess. I went through a similar thing. I had been going to a "one-stop-shop" that supposedly specialized in everything trans-oriented - therapy, endo, and hair removal - and in the first year they went through four endos. When the last one cut my spiro dose to 1/4 without seeing me or even explaining it to me, I dumped him and asked my primary care doctor if he'd take over my HRT. He agreed, and is willing to let me do most of the driving, which is how I switched from oral to injected E. The only thing he's balking at is progesterone, and he would prescribe it if I pushed for it.

As it is, my original therapist left with no warning, and though I love my old electrocutioner, I've found someone who uses a different method that is a lot less painful, and charges a fraction of what she did, so that original "specialty" clinic no longer has any of my business.

Good luck getting what you need. Sometimes we just have to take over our own care.


Stephanie

[Jessica]

Hi friends, well my blood test results are back.
Estradiol: 122 pg/mL
Testosterone: 21 ng/dL

Woo-hoo...female range!
No wonder I've seen quite a bit of physical changes lately.

I'm so happy I chose to follow the back up endo's recommendation.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi friends, well my blood test results are back.
Estradiol: 122 pg/mL
Testosterone: 21 ng/dL

Woo-hoo...female range!
No wonder I've seen quite a bit of physical changes lately.

I'm so happy I chose to follow the back up endo's recommendation.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Wow-Whee .... this is such great news.   Wonderful blood test results...  based on your recent postings, I am thinking that you might strongly consider taking charge and switching your Endo to the female back-up Endo.

I know how very good you must feel about your blood test results and about continuing your present and future course of treatment.

Thank you for the terrific update,
HUGS and more HUGS,
Danielle

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Wow-Whee .... this is such great news.   Wonderful blood test results...  based on your recent postings, I am thinking that you might strongly consider taking charge and switching your Endo to the female back-up Endo.

I know how very good you must feel about your blood test results and about continuing your present and future course of treatment.

Thank you for the terrific update,
HUGS and more HUGS,
Danielle

Thank you so much Danielle.  I am on cloud nine!

[Jessica]

Hi friends, one of the women I plan to run my first half marathon with, is my electrocutioner!   
Another client of hers, that she is close friends with, is a transgender woman that has been able to save the marriage between herself and her wife. 
My electrocutioner has become a bit of a confidant and is aware with some of the struggles that I have dealt with in regards to saving my marriage, and mentioned that  I may want to meet a friend of hers who may have some insight that could help.  I said that I would love too!
We met today.  Very nice lady!
I do see that we could become friends.  One more never hurts.
We both now have exchanged contacts and hugs, saying lunch out and about would be nice.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi friends, one of the women I plan to run my first half marathon with, is my electrocutioner!   
Another client of hers, that she is close friends with, is a transgender woman that has been able to save the marriage between herself and her wife. 
My electrocutioner has become a bit of a confidant and is aware with some of the struggles that I have dealt with in regards to saving my marriage, and mentioned that  I may want to meet a friend of hers who may have some insight that could help.  I said that I would love too!
We met today.  Very nice lady!
I do see that we could become friends.  One more never hurts.
We both now have exchanged contacts and hugs, saying lunch out and about would be nice.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Wow, this is terrific news regarding your electrologist and her transgender woman friend that is now your friend too!!!
Yes indeed, all of us can always have new friends... the more the merrier.  Plus another transgender woman friend is so nice to have and be able to compare notes with regarding spousal relationships.
If things go successfully I might imagine that both of you along with your wives might be possibly consider a joint social event or something like going out to dinner together....  certainly something to ponder at an appropriate future time.

Thank you so very much for sharing with me and all the rest of your thread's followers.
Hugs and best wishes...  I like it very much when you have happiness expressed in your messages!!!
Danielle

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle @Michelle_P

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Wow, this is terrific news regarding your electrologist and her transgender woman friend that is now your friend too!!!
Yes indeed, all of us can always have new friends... the more the merrier.  Plus another transgender woman friend is so nice to have and be able to compare notes with regarding spousal relationships.
If things go successfully I might imagine that both of you along with your wives might be possibly consider a joint social event or something like going out to dinner together....  certainly something to ponder at an appropriate future time.

Thank you so very much for sharing with me and all the rest of your thread's followers.
Hugs and best wishes...  I like it very much when you have happiness expressed in your messages!!!
Danielle

Oh sweet Northern Star*Girl what fun that would be, but the operative word is "future".
Who knows what friendship develops.  We do have a few known things in common, so building on that for the moment is a likely course.  Having coffee or a lunch with her, while out and about, works for me.

This morning I had my coffee next to the creek in my backyard oasis.  Sun was out, birds were singing while taking refreshing dips in the water.  And the biscotti was divine.
I had just played a word game with you and in comes a text from Michelle......I could tell it was going to be a day of museums and some of the best food in the City.
Got my chores done (sweetie's lunch for work and coffee to unblur her eyes), and made my way to Michelle's.
I was right....SF MOMA and then a brewery/tapas cafe.
Wonderful time!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl