Jess’s mess

[Jessica]

@Donica

I'm glad your latest session went well Jess. You both have a bond that most trans folks don't have or end up losing.

You have sparked this old cosmos girls interest! Who is the famed astrophysicist that gave the lecture?

Donica, this would be Neil DeGrasse Tyson at the San Jose Center for the Performing Arts.  It was on "science in the news".  Very entertaining he is.

[Jessica]

Hi friends 🌸🌸🌸  One thing that has always been a a factor in my transition needs is how my wife of 38 years would react.  I have been transparent with my actions from the beginning.  She on the other hand is more closed in her expressing of her feelings.  For a year and a half I've gotten the impression from her that she supported me.  Silence was golden with her.  She is one that feels that if she doesn't talk about issues, it will either go away or swept under the carpet.
Knowing this about her has not been a secret to me prompting multiple requests for either couples therapy for the both of us or one on one with herself and a therapist.  She finally realized that neither was it going away or disappearing under a rug and started her own discoveries individually and together.  Much was discovered from our first session together and she was entirely unsure if she could handle me as a woman.
Now keep in mind that I identify as Gender Fluid or non-binary.  This gives me the ability to comfortably present as either gender.  In my own personal therapy I had been exploring my needs for my own personal happiness.  Could I find happiness if my marriage with my best friend and love failed?  Would I be happier if I went full time as a woman?  I feel I wouldn't be happier if I fully transitioned and I certainly would be unhappy if my marriage ended.
I am taking measures that will help with the latter as my marriage is more important than my transition needs.  Through our couples sessions I hope to find a balance that will create a happy space with the two of us without splitting up.

Wish me luck, Jess

[Northern Star Girl]

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Thank you so very much for being so open and sharing with your life events....   all of us that have been following your thread for more than a year or more are on your side, we are all your biggest fans and we are rooting for you that you will fulfill you transition quest as it applies to your needs and your relationships.

I am so pleased to see that your commitment to your wife of 38 year is of uttermost importance to you and it a definite priority.  You are to be commended for your commitment, devotion and faithfulness.

It goes without saying that these recent decisions about your life path have been anything but easy and do know that I am thinking of you all the time and praying for your situation as it evolves....  in a positive way for you and your wife.

Giving you my biggest HUGS and well wishes as always,
Danielle

[Faith]

Jess,

I am dealing with a similar tightrope walk. Unfortunately for me I am most definitely binary. I would not be happy as him. I know this. I fear that I am no longer on that tightrope, I fell off to one side. I am just waiting to the net to catch me .. falling and falling. Like you I cannot envision a happy life without my soulmate, I also cannot envision it as him. That is the something Lori and I both agree on. She knows and understands that I cannot be him, am not him.

I am so glad to hear that you are finding/actively seeking your balance on this tightrope that we call life. I sincerely hope that you both find that balance.

[Donica]

@Donica

Donica, this would be Neil DeGrasse Tyson at the San Jose Center for the Performing Arts.  It was on "science in the news".  Very entertaining he is.

Oh yes indeed Jess. I watched his documentaries on the science channel. My favorite after Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking is Michio Kaku. Of course no one should ever forget the great Albert Einstein.

[Jessica]

Their scent is delicious!


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[KathyLauren]

Their scent is delicious!


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Beautiful!

[steph2.0]

Their scent is delicious!

Lovely! Much like Michelle's cookies, I can smell them from here.

Stephanie

[Donica]

Their scent is delicious!


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Oh Jess! This is truly some of Earth's virgin beauties. I will post a picture of my tree later. Ava's jasmine bushes are in full bloom and they smell heavenly right now.

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[Northern Star Girl]

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
You are making me envious of your spring weather and your beautiful blooming flowers....   very pretty picture in your Oasis. 
I trust that your remodeling goes as planned, so is your house still livable while doing the work or are you living in your RV next to your house while the work is being done???

How long will your project be?

As always I trust that all is going well with you and your wife.
Hopefully you saw the chocolate cupcakes I made for you on the Baking tread.
      https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244178.msg2246054.html#msg2246054

HUGS,
Danielle   

[Mariah]

Those are gorgeous!

Their scent is delicious!


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[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
You are making me envious of your spring weather and your beautiful blooming flowers....   very pretty picture in your Oasis. 
I trust that your remodeling goes as planned, so is your house still livable while doing the work or are you living in your RV next to your house while the work is being done???

How long will your project be?

As always I trust that all is going well with you and your wife.
Hopefully you saw the chocolate cupcakes I made for you on the Baking tread.
      https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244178.msg2246054.html#msg2246054

HUGS,
Danielle   

Danielle, yes my wife and I are spending approximately a month in our travel trailer next to the oasis.  Did you know that a house echoes when it's empty?
This is a view of our digs now.



Oh!  The chocolate cupcakes were very much appreciated! 
Chocolate is a proven de-stressor [emoji4]

[Donica]

Nice digs Jess! I miss my motorhome. It was a lovey home away from home. Unfortunately it resided in the great motorhome heaven in the sky

[Jessica]

@Donica

Nice digs Jess! I miss my motorhome. It was a lovey home away from home. Unfortunately it resided in the great motorhome heaven in the sky

I'm standing in the front bedroom in the previous pic.  The wall in the very back is the ramp I drive our RZR up to park it inside when we are traveling.  The trailer will sleep 8.

This is a view from the back



This is a typical campsite at Pismo

[Donica]

I believe I saw a picture of your rig when you were at Pismo? It is very nice. Mine was only 35ft. and slept 3. Love the RZR.

                                 

[Northern Star Girl]

@Jessica:
Dear Jess:
Very nice setup indeed.   
I have seen your camping arrangement in the pictures you have posted in the past when you go to Pismo Beach (I think that was where you camp frequently)   
You make quite a setup there, all the comforts of home, great rides, and right on the beach.

Now, you are on you Oasis, very pretty with all the blooming flowers ... 
....makes it easier to do your home remodeling being set up right on your property next to you home.

I am trusting you will be be posting update pictures as your project goes forward.

Thank you for sharing...
Hugs,
Danielle

@Donica

I'm standing in the front bedroom.  The wall in the very back is the ramp I drive our RZR up to park it inside when we are traveling.  The trailer will sleep 8.

This is a typical campsite at Pismo

[Jessica]

@Donica

I believe I saw a picture of your rig when you were at Pismo? It is very nice. Mine was only 35ft. and slept 3. Love the RZR.

                                 

Our trailer box is 24' (27' w/ the tongue) but has two full size bunk beds that can raise and lower, another full size bed in the front and two single fold down couches, enough for eight in all.

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica:
Dear Jess:
Very nice setup indeed.   
I have seen your camping arrangement in the pictures you have posted in the past when you go to Pismo Beach (I think that was where you camp frequently)   
You make quite a setup there, all the comforts of home, great rides, and right on the beach.

Now, you are on you Oasis, very pretty with all the blooming flowers ... 
....makes it easier to do your home remodeling being set up right on your property next to you home.

I am trusting you will be be posting update pictures as your project goes forward.

Thank you for sharing...
Hugs,
Danielle

It makes things so much easier when I can keep my trained eye on the work done.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Jessica
Dear Jess

Wishing you a HAPPY BIRHDAY



     

HUGS,
Danielle [emoji173]

[Kirsteneklund7]

Wishing you a happy birthday as well, Jessica.
Wishing you a day of love and friends & family.

Kirsten.[emoji323][emoji322][emoji324]

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