I've been itching to start my own thread since I started. I saw others do theirs and the longer I waited the harder it seemed, I had more posts, and how to combine? Not sure. I'll periodically add some old topics in here just to consolidate, but my new topics also, I'd like to add an well.
Almost all of these starts with introductions. I'll do that also. I'm 47, too old on my book, but young enough to know there is still much life to live. I was unable to accept who I was until just before turning 47. I knew since I was 8, but had been actively in denial and repression nearly 40 years. I just couldn't take it anymore, the GD took over soo many times and I was unable to function. In this last time, I started to make a list of reasons I was trans and posted them here.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,227108.msg2013692.html#msg2013692The response I got was affirming. It seems obvious but the amount of times I've done DIY and quit, it just seemed like I was in a cycle. I was really about to quit again, but knew the beast would strike again. So instead, I started to be open about "my problem,"
I told my intro here which was a little rehash, but a much nicer way and better intro to me.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,228812.msg2030351.html#msg2030351Since this intro I've come out to my parents and my sister and a few others. One thing I learned from my parents is how much they've forgotten about my childhood. My father couldn't remember any discussion about me wanting to be a girl. My mom did remember, but thought it was nothing, let it pass immediately. Me, on the other hand, I was scarred mentally from that point. I probably thought about that talk at least once a week for 40 years. I hid from anybody that tried to get close, I repressed, I felt I never matured socially from that point. Granted, I got smarter as I aged, and it's what allowed to to accept.
Anyway, enough for post one. I hope I'm not boring anyone. I feel I've got some unique experiences, and am surprised and thankful whenever Im told I'm not alone.
Bari Jo