Bari Jo's Corner

[Bari Jo]

I keep having minor coming outs that are just amazing.  My latest is on a private group I belong to where each member builds electronic games.  Three of the members started texting me over a few days to congratulate me and offer support.  It was so lovely, I got choked up so many times chatting with these three.  I know building games is just a hobby for me currently but I pour my heart and soul into these games and being accepted by my peers is so gratifying.

I go by Bari Jo there and have been for about three months.  Nobody really noticed, even though my profile picture is the same there as here.  What tipped off the group makes me think how small the world is.  One member of the women's pinball group is a cousin of someone in the game group.  They each live in separate states.  People talk and it all turned out well.

I am amazed that so many people support and accept me.  I need to learn from that to accept myself more.  In that vein, I am going to start wearing a tiny transgender pride flag pin.  It's not to say look at me I am trans, it's more of a reminder to myself that it's okay to be trans.

That is all for today.

Bari Jo

[Jayne01]

I keep having minor coming outs that are just amazing.  My latest is on a private group I belong to where each member builds electronic games.  Three of the members started texting me over a few days to congratulate me and offer support.  It was so lovely, I got choked up so many times chatting with these three.  I know building games is just a hobby for me currently but I pour my heart and soul into these games and being accepted by my peers is so gratifying.

I go by Bari Jo there and have been for about three months.  Nobody really noticed, even though my profile picture is the same there as here.  What tipped off the group makes me think how small the world is.  One member of the women's pinball group is a cousin of someone in the game group.  They each live in separate states.  People talk and it all turned out well.

I am amazed that so many people support and accept me.  I need to learn from that to accept myself more.  In that vein, I am going to start wearing a tiny transgender pride flag pin.  It's not to say look at me I am trans, it's more of a reminder to myself that it's okay to be trans.

That is all for today.

Bari Jo

Congratulations, Bari Jo, on another successful coming out. You are a great person and the people in your group like you, the person, irrespective of gender.

Such a coincidence with the connection between your pinball group and the game group. I'm so happy it worked out well.

Wearing the trans pin m, for yourself, is a nice idea. I was thinking of doing something similar with a necklace pendant. I should start searching around to see if there are any nice pendants that I like. Small gestures such as this for ourselves are a good way to maintain a positive outlook. Be proud of who you are.

Hugs,
Jayne

[Roll]

I am amazed that so many people support and accept me.  I need to learn from that to accept myself more.  In that vein, I am going to start wearing a tiny transgender pride flag pin.  It's not to say look at me I am trans, it's more of a reminder to myself that it's okay to be trans.

That's my feeling with my trans flag as well. It's not an advertisement, just... I dunno exactly, it's something that makes me feel like I am being honest with the world even if I'm not dressing the part at the moment. Plus the potential outreach to others.

[Bari Jo]

At work I got asked about the pin.  They asked if it was the Israeli flag of all things.  I told them they don't want to know.  I immediately felt like crying and had to excuse myself.  This was exactly the opposite of what I wanted of the pin.  I came back and had a sit down with the person and explained that I was sorry and I am wearing it to help me deal with shame, and it's a transgender pride pin.  He immediately said I picked a great month for it.  I felt better and was able to complete my day.  Oh, that was hard, but I got through it.

Onto good stuff.  I saw Incredibles 2, and loved it.  I have a new female idol and she's from the movie.  Her name is Evelyn Deavor and she's a designer much like myself.  She's got style and short hair, and her makeup is like mine.  I am totally copying her look.  I know I'm a dorky fangirl!  Here's a pict of her looks!



Bari Jo

[Jayne01]

At work I got asked about the pin.  They asked if it was the Israeli flag of all things.  I told them they don't want to know.  I immediately felt like crying and had to excuse myself.  This was exactly the opposite of what I wanted of the pin.  I came back and had a sit down with the person and explained that I was sorry and I am wearing it to help me deal with shame, and it's a transgender pride pin.  He immediately said I picked a great month for it.  I felt better and was able to complete my day.  Oh, that was hard, but I got through it.

Onto good stuff.  I saw Incredibles 2, and loved it.  I have a new female idol and she's from the movie.  Her name is Evelyn Deavor and she's a designer much like myself.  She's got style and short hair, and her makeup is like mine.  I am totally copying her look.  I know I'm a dorky fangirl!  Here's a pict of her looks!



Bari Jo

Bari Jo, well done on turning things around with the pin incident. You initially had a reaction you didn't expect or want, took some time to collect yourself and went right back to have a talk with the person. As a result, you started feeling better. In the end, the pin had the exact effect you wanted it to, it made you feel proud and also helped you to deal with some issues. (((Hug)))

Incidentally, you have inspired me to find something for myself to wear for transgender pride. I was thinking a necklace or bracelet. I found a few online but they would all need to be shipped from overseas and I really would like something before this month is over. I will look in the shops today while I am in the city. If I don't find anything, I might buy some beads and make my own necklace with the transgender pride colours.

Hugs,
Jayne

[Jessica]

At work I got asked about the pin.  They asked if it was the Israeli flag of all things.  I told them they don't want to know.  I immediately felt like crying and had to excuse myself.  This was exactly the opposite of what I wanted of the pin.  I came back and had a sit down with the person and explained that I was sorry and I am wearing it to help me deal with shame, and it's a transgender pride pin.  He immediately said I picked a great month for it.  I felt better and was able to complete my day.  Oh, that was hard, but I got through it.

Onto good stuff.  I saw Incredibles 2, and loved it.  I have a new female idol and she's from the movie.  Her name is Evelyn Deavor and she's a designer much like myself.  She's got style and short hair, and her makeup is like mine.  I am totally copying her look.  I know I'm a dorky fangirl!  Here's a pict of her looks!



Bari Jo

I just saw Incredibles 2 also with my grandson.  I told him that Edna Mode (she designs all the Incredibles clothing now in perpetuity) was my new favorite.

[Bari Jo]

Onto more things...  This weekend is OC pride, which I plan on attending.  I still feel no pride, but I'm forcing myself to remain visible.

I am also out now to a childhood friend that has a trans daughter.  She saw my picts on Facebook and my posts and guessed correctly that I am like her daughter.

Ive come out to a couple other relatives by request too, and they are all supportive.  I am not comfortable coming out to any more people right now mainly because I don't feel femme or look femme. I look like a gay man, which in my opinion, I've always been mistaken for a gay man.  Transition sucks.  In a few weeks, I will be able to dye my hair again, and this time it'll be all about pushing my femininity. I'm thinking pink or very light purple.

And one more thing.  I bought a dance pad and I love it.  This is now part of my losing weight regimen. The one I bought, can be rolled up and taken on trips.  I may get a nicer sturdy one for home.

Bari Jo

[Bari Jo]

Pride fest was here in santa ana this weekend, and I went along with a couple of pinball ladies that I have befriended. I was mainly there to enjoy drinks with the ladies, the actual pride part with bands and booths were secondary.  We went to three different locations and had drinks and at each successive location the drinks seemed stronger and the conversation more personal. I was surprised just how many things the girls revealed to me.  I think maybe I'm a good listener, or just I gave off the friend vibe. It made me feel wonderful that these ladies accepted me enough to talk openly.  One girl in particular I really hit it off with. She's beautiful and tall, six foot, and hilariously complained that her fingernails were too manish.  She liked mine better, which I laughed inside.  Anyway, she's a geek like me, likes beer (rated every beer we had), and builds things.  I can see us becoming fast friends.

It feels wonderful having an experience like this.  I'm still feeling a little high from it.  It seems weird, but I can see how this intimacy and closeness can be a craving.  Maybe I will be less of an introvert the more I'm out.

Bari Jo

[Roll]

It feels wonderful having an experience like this.  I'm still feeling a little high from it.  It seems weird, but I can see how this intimacy and closeness can be a craving.  Maybe I will be less of an introvert the more I'm out.

Bari Jo

That has definitely been the case for me, it has been really strange. It's like a complete 180.

[Jessica]

Pride fest was here in santa ana this weekend, and I went along with a couple of pinball ladies that I have befriended. I was mainly there to enjoy drinks with the ladies, the actual pride part with bands and booths were secondary.  We went to three different locations and had drinks and at each successive location the drinks seemed stronger and the conversation more personal. I was surprised just how many things the girls revealed to me.  I think maybe I'm a good listener, or just I gave off the friend vibe. It made me feel wonderful that these ladies accepted me enough to talk openly.  One girl in particular I really hit it off with. She's beautiful and tall, six foot, and hilariously complained that her fingernails were too manish.  She liked mine better, which I laughed inside.  Anyway, she's a geek like me, likes beer (rated every beer we had), and builds things.  I can see us becoming fast friends.

It feels wonderful having an experience like this.  I'm still feeling a little high from it.  It seems weird, but I can see how this intimacy and closeness can be a craving.  Maybe I will be less of an introvert the more I'm out.

Bari Jo

I know I feel like I'm one of the girls when out for mani/pedis with my girlfriends.  It's an acceptance that makes me more comfortable with my own personal truth.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[steph2.0]

Oh yes!! That's fantastic, Bari Jo! Those types of interactions are so important and affirming, and so necessary to moving forward. I love seeing you taking step after step toward your goal, and all the positive results. Congratulations, girlfriend!

Stephanie

[Bari Jo]

Alright, now that my hair is finally growing in, I'm in dire need of coloring it again.  I've been doing blonde and dirty blonde, and ash blonde for decades.  Now that I accept who I am, I want something more girly but still looks like me. Help me decide what would look best on me.  Here's some ideas all courtesy of Pretty Makeup.

I'm doing this end of July for my B-day!



Bari Jo

[Roll]

PINK BLUE GRADIENT!

[Allison S]

I really like the 1st one top left 1st row.

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[Bari Jo]

I'm learning toward purple myself too.  The pink and blue is a bit too young for me.  If I was your age, it would be perfect Ellie.

Bari Jo

[Roll]

I'm learning toward purple myself too.  The pink and blue is a bit too young for me.  If I was your age, it would be perfect Ellie.

Bari Jo

Pfffffffffffffft, you are plenty young! If my hair was thicker and I could style it right, I would do it in a heartbeat at this point.

Purple is a great choice though!

[Bari Jo]

My sister and my mom have talked me out of the more saturated colors.  They have shown me some lighter blonde and strawberry blonde colors that I like.  I'll start with one of these and see where it takes me.

Ellie, you will have thicker and more dense hair soon enough.  Does this mean you will do the color?  I hope so!

Now onto some trans updates.  My work has ordered me name badges and name plates with Bari Jo on them.  I'm not out completely so I just have them waiting till I am out to all my coworkers.

Yesterday I organized another cocktail event with the neighbors.  I am finding myself more at ease at these events.  I realized that in my community I'm pretty much the one driving us to be more social.  This is coming from an introvert that so wants to be an extrovert. After the event I got thank yous from many people, but one in particular touched me.  She thanked me for having such a feminine tendency to bring people together. That made me a happy girl:)

Bari Jo

[Roll]

My sister yelled at me about how it would ruin my hair, but I've never done anything like that so if I get my hair grown out and it will look decent, I'm going to do it.

[TonyaW]

There are shades of purple hair that look just fine on "older" ladies.

Laura Dern in the last Star Wars movie for example.  I don't consider her old as she is younger than me, but she is 50+

If this works

https://goo.gl/images/DcVEU3


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[Bari Jo]

Hi Tonya, the first thought I had when I saw that in the movie, is I want that color.  I think next weekend I'm going to color.  I can't wait.

I had a great experience today.  I'm out with my dad, sister and friend at a five guys.  As I went to get a drink a girl is smiling at me, and compliments my eyeliner.  She said I've mastered it.  Truth be told I put it on the night before and thought it wasn't even visible.  I thanked her and said I'm just learning.  I'm fairly certain this attention was from also wearing the trans flag pin.  As she left, she gave me a hi five on the way out and said, keep rocking it.  This surprised my company, but built self esteem for me.  Lots of questions all around.  This made me feel like allies everywhere are sweet.  Today is a good day:)

Bari Jo