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Obsession or medication?

Started by Jessica, January 17, 2018, 09:36:24 AM

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Jessica

Hi girls 🙋 Taking breaks from Susan's brings me back to reality from what can be described as obsessing at times.  It only takes a short bit.  To have your transition on your mind constantly can lead you away from life.  Susan's Place can be a form of an addictive substance.  I'm not saying that in a derogatory fashion.  Maybe better said would be to liken it to a medication that is necessary for your well being, that I'm searching for the right dosage. For me it's important to have my feet firmly planted.  There are 2 realities that I struggle between, both have firm footing.  With my imperfect understanding of gender fluidity, I feel there must be firm footing in between. 
I've been down the rabbit hole of being male.  I didn't like who I had to portray because of my genitalia.  What I don't want is to fall down the rabbit hole of being female.  I want to be able to keep who I am, which has always been a mix of both as I stroll to my happy place down somewhere on the path, much more female.

((Hugs)) Jessica 💁

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Faith

the internet is addicting. Doesn't matter how good or bad a place is, it can begin to rule you a bit. It's always good to take some time to self-adjust.

This includes everything. The biggest one is phones. Go off somewhere, leave your phone at home .. it's good for you.
I left the door open, only a few came through. such is my life.
Bluesky:@faithnd.bsky.social

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HappyMoni

Hi Jess,
   Who says you can't be you? We sometimes get caught up in other people's expectations. It's easy to do. Be yourself, whatever that looks like to others. More power to ya. I am a mix of old and new me, but I kept the parts I liked and tossed what I didn't like.
Moni
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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Julia1996

Quote from: Faith on January 17, 2018, 09:40:43 AM
the internet is addicting. Doesn't matter how good or bad a place is, it can begin to rule you a bit. It's always good to take some time to self-adjust.

This includes everything. The biggest one is phones. Go off somewhere, leave your phone at home .. it's good for you.

Leave my phone at home!!! I can't do that. What if I need to call someone while I need to call someone or someone wants to call me or something funny happens? I wouldn't have my phone to get a picture. What if the GPS in my car broke? Without the GPS on my phone I wouldn't know where I was going. What would I do while waiting at the drs office without my phone? What if I fell out or something or someone got hit by a bus? I couldn't call 911. I'm sorry but going out without your phone isn't safe.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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KathyLauren

Definitely be who you are, whoever you determine that to be.  The joy of this journey is the freedom to be yourself.

While my true self is firmly on the female side of the spectrum, it is not right at the edge of it.  I liken it to learning a new language as an adult: no matter how well you learn to speak it, you will always have an accent.  So I am going to be female with a bit of a male accent.  It is unavoidable, so I don't even worry about it.  It frees me up to be myself, whatever that turns out to be.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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Devlyn

Quote from: Jessica on January 17, 2018, 09:36:24 AM
Hi girls 🙋 Taking breaks from Susan's brings me back to reality from what can be described as obsessing at times.  It only takes a short bit.  To have your transition on your mind constantly can lead you away from life.  Susan's Place can be a form of an addictive substance.  I'm not saying that in a derogatory fashion.  Maybe better said would be to liken it to a medication that is necessary for your well being, that I'm searching for the right dosage. For me it's important to have my feet firmly planted.  There are 2 realities that I struggle between, both have firm footing.  With my imperfect understanding of gender fluidity, I feel there must be firm footing in between. 
I've been down the rabbit hole of being male.  I didn't like who I had to portray because of my genitalia.  What I don't want is to fall down the rabbit hole of being female.  I want to be able to keep who I am, which has always been a mix of both as I stroll to my happy place down somewhere on the path, much more female.

((Hugs)) Jessica 💁

I'm a big advocate of taking regular breaks from the site, especially when making decisions or taking big steps
in your transition. There is a distinct possibility of getting swept along by the current here. It's very important
that your decisions are yours and are not influenced by the decisions being made around you.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn
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Jessica

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 17, 2018, 02:32:58 PM
I'm a big advocate of taking regular breaks from the site, especially when making decisions or taking big steps
in your transition. There is a distinct possibility of getting swept along by the current here. It's very important
that your decisions are yours and are not influenced by the decisions being made around you.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn

Thank you Devlyn, I think your advice is very important!  I agree completely!

Hug and kiss, Jess

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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RobynTx

That's one reason I really enjoy my fossil hunting or camping.  It's just me and nature.  Everyone needs a break every now and then.


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Faith

Quote from: Julia1996 on January 17, 2018, 10:40:14 AM
Leave my phone at home!!! I can't do that. What if I need to call someone while I need to call someone or someone wants to call me or something funny happens?

We wandered for miles and miles, no phone. Daytime, nighttime, rain, snow ... etc etc. I could be 15 miles into the forest and find my way out. (I grew up in farm country)

QuoteI wouldn't have my phone to get a picture.

We didn't have a portable camera

QuoteWhat if the GPS in my car broke? Without the GPS on my phone I wouldn't know where I was going.

No GPS, we looked around and used landmarks.

QuoteWhat would I do while waiting at the drs office without my phone?

Talk to the person next to you, read a paper magazine/newspaper (you know what a newspaper is!) or stare blankly at the wall

QuoteWhat if I fell out or something or someone got hit by a bus? I couldn't call 911.

1st aid

QuoteI'm sorry but going out without your phone isn't safe.
we didn't do much of anything that was 'safe' growing up. Still here :)
I left the door open, only a few came through. such is my life.
Bluesky:@faithnd.bsky.social

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Bari Jo

Hi Jessica, I also have many interests and hobbies that I do not plan on losing.  I still machine and 3d design, but an hour later I knit.  It feels great adding that typically feminine behavior to balance me.  I also agree that it becomes an obsession on this site.  I have also thought about taking breaks, but am sticking to it.  My biggest problem before was isolation.  I'm trying to not isolate myself at all during this transition.

Bari Jo
you know how far the universe extends outward? i think i go inside just as deep.

10/11/18 - out to the whole world.  100% friends and family support.
11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different
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Jessica

Quote from: Bari Jo on January 17, 2018, 07:47:36 PM
Hi Jessica, I also have many interests and hobbies that I do not plan on losing.  I still machine and 3d design, but an hour later I knit.  It feels great adding that typically feminine behavior to balance me.  I also agree that it becomes an obsession on this site.  I have also thought about taking breaks, but am sticking to it.  My biggest problem before was isolation.  I'm trying to not isolate myself at all during this transition.

Bari Jo


Just remember the words of Edie Brickell "hold me in the shallow waters before I get too deep"


"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Kylo

Like looking at a computer screen for too long is bad for eyesight, being in a particular place with a specific focus and outlook can narrow your view as well. There are times when the weight of something just has to be shrugged off so you can mentally breathe and go outside.

I would say when it comes to the internet and different corners of it, it's positively healthy to get away from them for a few days or weeks at a time. You can always come back again.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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